Aug 02, 2004 17:46
I actually talked to Russ this afternoon. He pretty much confirmed all my suspicions. What it comes down to is I have been put on the back burner now that he and his girlfriend have gotten pretty serious. Yeah, he found someone else to cook and clean and suck his dick for him, and is thinking about marrying her to boot!! Back in Wisconsin, my best friend pretty much did the same thing, only this time it doesn't hurt me as much because of the fact that I wasn't living with Russ when all this shit went down. A huge part of me doesn't care anymore, I've pretty much moved to the next phase of my life now that I've come out(yes, I've come out, I don't think I've touched upon that recently, have I?). I told him that it would be nice if he could make a little time for us because I want to tell him some stuff face to face. He freaked out on me, thought I had gotten pregnant or something, lol How foolish he'll feel once I tell him. And just like I thought he would, he tried to blame the lack of communication between us on me alone. Fucker. I'm sorry, but he pulls that shit all the time, the only difference is this time I'm not buying it or allowing myself to feel guilty and accept the blame.
There's so much that's been going on with him, too, that I had no idea about. he's moving, he retired from rugby to name a couple. I feel so out of the loop, but at the same time, do I really care that I feel that way?
And on top of that little drama, my co-worker's boyfriend comes in with a bouquet of roses and a card. It's like, kick me while I'm down, why don't you? Makes me yearn for someone to hold and kiss and cuddle with. Such is life though, you don't always get what you want, not all the time anyway.