Oh journal, why did I ever forsake you? I swore I'd be true, it wasn't my fault that I was seduced away by sunny days and surf, heck I even have a modest tan for the first time in months! It's Daniel's fault, always finding yet another reason to drag me out of the house and then we spend the day on the pale sand while I figure out that seagulls will eat anything, even leftover salad lunches and dog biscuits. Don't ask about the biscuits, let's just say that Wally isn't the seagull-slayer that he dreams of being, my poor boy ** pets him ** And I can't remember the last time I lost myself in my studio for days on end, again this is Daniel's fault. I almost feel like a stranger when I go into the living room and the other day the house phone rang and I nearly jumped out of my skin!
Hello am I on the line? Anybody out there? It took me a week to find my cellphone and by then it was so dead it needed a full recharge, and somehow I can't do that AND check my messages at the same time ** pouts ** When I asked Daniel why he hadn't found my cellphone for me, he seemed to think that was really funny and left the house laughing, going outside for one of his now-rare smoke breaks. Yes ladies and gentlemen, hell must be freezing over because Daniel is actually trying to cut back on his smokes! He claims it was all Kathleen's idea, which I'm not sure how I feel about that. In fact, sitting here right now, I don't know how I feel about her at all.
That sounds bad, let me explain. She didn't do anything. Ok she did but not what you're thinking. Unless you're thinking that she called. Well you'd be expecting that she called Daniel and demanded he come home right now or so help her God she was going to decorate the whole house fushia and possibly purple as well. Hmmm if you thought that, well you're wrong. Better luck next time! No my fine flippered fiends, Kathleen actually called moi.
After hearing my "unknown call" ringtone (Duran Duran's "Who Do You Think You Are" if you must know), I looked down at where it sat on my kitchen counter supposedly recharging and squinted at the unfamiliar number. Curiousity getting the better of me, I flipped it open and brought it to my ear.
"Yello?"
"Um, hi is this Darren?" It was a female voice that seemed familiar buzzed over the crummy signal I get in the house sometimes. Whoever it was, they sounded nervous and I strongly hoped that my cellnumber had not been digitally discovered for the fourth time. I thought of saying no and hanging up, but again curiousity got the better of me.
"Yeah you've reached Darren, to whom do I have the pleasure of speaking to?" That's right, I brought out my nice posh answering voice.
"Oh good...." The voice sounded relieved but not hysterically happy so maybe I had lucked out. "Er, it's Kathleen."
I didn't think it was possible to actually feel one's eyebrows reaching one's hairline, but apparently it was!
"...Dan's Kat?" I asked, just to be sure I wasn't hallucinating the whole thing. Why on earth was she calling my cell?
A small chuckle floated over the line. "That's me." She confirmed, sounding a little bit like she knew she was the butt of some joke I hadn't even made. That's a really confusing sensation, let me tell you.
"Uh, are you having trouble reaching Daniel? Is his cell not on? I can go get him for you, he's just outside." I asked quickly, making a logical guess.
"No no," she replied just as quickly. "I know his cell's off but that's not why I called you. This is going to sound...insane probably... but I wanted to speak to you, not him." Her admission did nothing to alleviate my sensation of bowling head over feet down some grassy hill in my mind.
"Well there's nothing insane about wanting to speak to me, I have such a fabulous speaking voice!" I joked, mostly trying to buy time so my brain could catch up to what was going on. Kathleen was kind enough to giggle quietly at my lameness, thank god. I feel I should take a moment to explain why I was all arse-over-eyebrows. It wasn't because I hate Kathleen or she hates me, which seems to be the common refrain about us, which is really weird since I think I've probably talked to her something like less than ten times in my life and three of those times were during the same evening. I don't know her. I can actually see why Daniel married her because there is something about her that's a lot like him. To paint you a clear picture, let's just say that I would give my right arm and maybe my Wookie to watch them play poker against each other. It's not, like I've said before, that Daniel is secretive or that Kathleen is hiding something, they are just... unfathomable to me sometimes. Because... you know... on my best day, i stroll at the mouth rather than run. But you love me anyway ;)
So I wasn't upset or annoyed that Kathleen had called, just clueless. Finally my lagging grey matter got caught up enough for me to rally and try to get a little more information.
"So what can I do for you, Kat? Er if it's OK for me to call you Kat, that's not Daniel's petname for you, is it?" Good Darren, babble at her, that really helps.
"No that's fine..." She reassured me, then paused again as if she wasn't sure what to say. The longer the pause went, the more I was itching with curiosity.
"Kat?" I finally had to verbally nudge her, which prompted a little startled noise from her like she'd forgotten she was going to say anything.
"Oh. Um... Darren...."
"Please, call me Daz if I can call you Kat." What prompted me to offer her that, I don't know. I hate that nickname. I scowl at Daniel when he uses it. But it just seemed like the thing to do, even as Kathleen paused again, this time for a shorter period.
"Darre-um Daz...How is Daniel?" She finally asked. It was my turn to pause. This was her big question?
"He seems OK to me, I'm sorry that I've kept him for so long, I tried to mail him back to you but that sod just torn his way out of the box!" I said, trying to not feel guilty and feeling even more guilty at her, again, quick reassurance:
"No no, that's alright, he's been keeping me updated every few days and the house is a mess of paint and flooring nails anyway....it's just.... Has he mentioned anything to you... about something bothering him?"
Her question made me uneasy, not because I didn't want to answer it but it made reality some observations of mine that I had safely convinced myself were just in my head. That I was imagining angst onto Daniel because I need drama in my life. But Kathleen's tentative question put things in a different, though no more revealing, light.
"I'm not sure what you mean.... Daniel seems pretty happy these days, all thanks to you I'm sure." I replied cautiously. Kathleen made a noise that sounded sadly glad...or happily sad....er.. I had an awful thought that Daniel had snuck away from his wife, who sounded so cheerful on TV and now was almost unrecognizable in her quietness. OK I am making up the unrecognizable part, I just felt guilty again, for no reason. I didn't do anything wrong. I may have thought a few wrong things but that wasn't a new development for me.
"Any clue what I should look for?" I tried next.
"Not really... God, I don't mean to sound so wishywashy about it, I mean I fully understand if you think I'm just being an emotional cow going on about women's intuition," She sounded a little frustrated but also a little more lively and I couldn't help but chuckle, seeing a hint of the charm that had snagged Daniel. I had a really funny mental picture that I was secretly talking to Tinkerbell and I had to keep my laughter purely internal for that one because I didn't want her to think I was lauhing at her, oh no! Well she is that little, I mean have you seen pictures of her with Daniel? He looks like a giant! Daniel the Australian Snowman! Um Beachman?
"Just keep an eye on him for me, will you?" Kathleen sounded serious again and maybe a little wistful? I was just mystified why she would trust me, but then again she had no way of knowing that I may or may not have had hots for her husband in the past and maybe not too distant past too. God I'm such a wanker sometimes.
"I'll give it my best shot, no worries. Hey, where'd you get my cell number from anyway?" I couldn't resist asking.
"Oh, I ...may have borrowed Dan's cell for it a little while ago." She sounded embarressed now. I was just startled to think that she'd had my number that long ago and why? The plot was definitely thickening, getting less soupy and more stew-like. But I decided, what the heck, why not agree to Kathleen's request, it was what I was doing part of the time anyway.
"Keep my number, and why don't you give me yours in case I need to get a hold of you?" I could just imagine, in a far away place, the sound of some people turning over in their non-existant graves.
"Oh!" Kathleen sounded genuinely startled. "Sure, no worries." She recited her cell number and I dutifully scribbled it on a random receipt to transfer after our call.
"Thanks Darren, sorry that I just barged into your evening like this." Her apology was too cute and I found myself smiling.
"Afternoon actually, and don't worry about it."
We hung up and I stood leaning against the counter for a long time, staring at nothing.
-D