I Am A Sourpuss!!!!!
STUPID MOTHERFUCKING COCKSUCKER DUCK HUMPER!!!
GGAAHHH!!!!
Warning: There will be a lot of FUCK and SHIT and FUCK so if you don't like that kind of rant, DON'T FUCKING READ!!!
To be read in pissed-off-don't-fuck-with-me-Jillian-voice: So I take my last, and I mean my LAST fucking $5 and head to the gas station. Wait, let me rewind. I was planning a surprise. I even made a fucking CD. I called this fucking CD "Surprise." But HA! The joke was on me...So, I put on nice clothes, new deoderant, donned my new sunglasses (courtesy of my beautiful girlfriend), and packed up my stuff for a ride in my fucking car. I got to the gas station to fill up with JUST enough fucking gas to BARELY (and perhaps not even) get me to Woburn to see my Kristen and come back and the piece of shit motherfucking car dies!!!! We try to jump the fucking thing, and NADA!!!! Presently, I hate every fucking thing!!!! No, I do not. Correction: there are few things that I do NOT hate! I hate my piece of shit automobile, the dead battery in that piece of shit automobile, the stupid man who sold it to me and told me everything was FINE with the piece of shit automobile, my mom's stupid work schedule, the stores that do not have batteries, the stores that DO have batteries and are not OPEN and the fucking walk back to MHC!!!!!
I called my mother, because well, I'm dumb and didn't know what to do. She tells me that she can't do anything. The car will have to stay. "You can't keep doing this!!" she says. "Doing what?!" I ask. "Driving down there [Woburn] in the middle of the week all the time!!" "This is the first time I've done it!!" I protest. "Don't START that shit with me!" "So you wanna pay for the battery?" she asks. *pause* "I love you..."
Normally, this would not be such a big fucking deal. My p.o.s car is old. Cars' batteries die. It happens. But all I wanted was a fucking hug from my girlfriend! All I wanted was to surprise her! All I wanted was to walk through that fucking door and see the look on her beautiful face!!!! But NNOOOOO!!
I have to say that the walk back, the beagles in front of 18 and the venting has helped a bit to calm me down. The walk was not as bad as it could have been. My mom pointed out so *nicely* that it was a pleasant day. Well, I'm glad that Mr. Sunshine decided to FINALLY step out and act somewhat like a fucking normal spring day! I hated every person that happily wizzed past me in their working autos! I spotted a dead bird on the side of the road and as the cars sped by frighteningly close I wondered, am I next? I also spotted something flattened on the roadside that looked like a mix between a condom, a sock and a feather. It could be a FeathOckM. Or a ConFeathOck.... hhmmm....
Anyway...this night has official *SUCKED* balls! Fucking balls! I just wanted to see my Kristen! And if my piece of shit car does not get better, I won't even be able to visit on Sunday. :( :(
However, I will not dwell on that because I still HAVE my wonderful Kristen, I got a 96.5 on my Methods exam, the M&C's sing on Friday night, I received a $5000 scholarship today and spanish is 3 days and 1 final away from being done!
FUCK YEAH!
ps. I still hate my fucking piece of shit motherfucker cocksucking car.