vent-mode
and so begins the downfall.
like a manic seasonal change, things just happen to go to shit all at once.
it never fails, every year i'm prone to this happening. the only thing keeping me going is WHEN it'll happen.
oh the excitement.
this year: summer gets it!
i'll just list the letdowns and get this over with:
a) i'm pretty sure i failed government. nobody's fault but mine.
b) in the past 10 months i've been fucked over and given the cold shoulder, more than once.
c) my oldest of friends wont return my fucking phone calls... fuck 'em.
d) i feel im giving certain people the wrong impression (see an inverse to b)
e) i've come to the realization that most of the people i know are absolutely fucking retarded (minus a select few) and have no sense of future or plans other than to "consume". (probably my reason for a)
f) an old, once loyal, and extremely goofy aquantaince is now sleeping with my ex... brilliant!! just fucking brilliant.
g) i live with my parents again. and though i love them... need i really go into detail?
h) im at a record lack in the sex depatment lately... yikes.
yes. it's true. these seemingly petty things get to me.
but only because im used to everything being so right.
3/4's of the year i'm the one dishing out the "everything will get better" motifs.
so, to counteract these times of SHIT...
i've picked up kickboxing. it's kicking my ass.
but intense one hour workouts are the only way im gonna get myself up and out of this room these days since i'm losing friends so fast. plus, i already see summertime results.
oh, and i fly out to L.A. next week.
i'm already apartment hunting in the Southern Cali region.
now, more than ever, do i want to get the fuck out of this small, congested, and worthless town before it swallows me whole (like everyone else i know).
fuck that. there's nothing left for me here.
if it weren't for my parents, i woulda been gone long ago.
come the end of this year... i swear to you. i'm outa here.
whew. that felt good.
like a manic seasonal change, things just happen to go to shit all at once.
it never fails, every year i'm prone to this happening. the only thing keeping me going is WHEN it'll happen.
oh the excitement.
this year: summer gets it!
i'll just list the letdowns and get this over with:
a) i'm pretty sure i failed government. nobody's fault but mine.
b) in the past 10 months i've been fucked over and given the cold shoulder, more than once.
c) my oldest of friends wont return my fucking phone calls... fuck 'em.
d) i feel im giving certain people the wrong impression (see an inverse to b)
e) i've come to the realization that most of the people i know are absolutely fucking retarded (minus a select few) and have no sense of future or plans other than to "consume". (probably my reason for a)
f) an old, once loyal, and extremely goofy aquantaince is now sleeping with my ex... brilliant!! just fucking brilliant.
g) i live with my parents again. and though i love them... need i really go into detail?
h) im at a record lack in the sex depatment lately... yikes.
yes. it's true. these seemingly petty things get to me.
but only because im used to everything being so right.
3/4's of the year i'm the one dishing out the "everything will get better" motifs.
so, to counteract these times of SHIT...
i've picked up kickboxing. it's kicking my ass.
but intense one hour workouts are the only way im gonna get myself up and out of this room these days since i'm losing friends so fast. plus, i already see summertime results.
oh, and i fly out to L.A. next week.
i'm already apartment hunting in the Southern Cali region.
now, more than ever, do i want to get the fuck out of this small, congested, and worthless town before it swallows me whole (like everyone else i know).
fuck that. there's nothing left for me here.
if it weren't for my parents, i woulda been gone long ago.
come the end of this year... i swear to you. i'm outa here.
whew. that felt good.