(no subject)

[kissame]

it's warm and pleasant at night in new mexico. we don't have a show tonight, carly is gone to endfest, and the other three of us are stealing my kate crowe's apartment for the evening. we are doing laundry and sleeping early.

i want kittens cuddled next to me.
i want my husband's nose touching mine and a long moment to rediscover his eyes.
i want to play austin texas again.

i want it to be friday.

i want the peace of this moment to truly inhabit me, with no buzzing hectic voices murmuring just outside my ability to calm them down.

i want resolution.

but i don't think that is what life is about. like it or not the real moments, the ones that teach and grow me are found in tension. its when i cry for missing you, when i seethe with frustration and pound my mental fists against invisible walls, when i have to deal with a life that is less than charmed and scrape for peaceful moments that i can call my own that i learn. and when i am sick and tired of that sort of learning maybe that is when i grow.

but oh, for a night with my home.

tour, i should add, is pretty damn fabulous.

but i do get melancholy after the sun goes down.