(no subject)
Yesterday really did happen to be the worst day of my life. Looking back on it I'm glad it went down like that. It also made me realize who is ALWAYS THERE FOR ME, and who just isn't.
I had a good day at school, don't get me wrong. I found out bitches continued to talk shit...(which today got worked out so thats besides the point) I got home and everything turned to complete and utter shit. Did you ever have a day where you would loose your head if it wasn't attatched, and you know it? Well that was my afternoon, only stranger. I would put something down and loose it, and while I was looking for it I would find money. This went on for a good hour and I found $12. NOT even kidding. All I wanted to do was go to borders and get a book. Anne Sexton or Sylvia Plath, and thank GOD i never made it because that wouldn't have been the most UPLIFTING things to read.
On my way to borders, someone cuts me off, almost hits me head on. I swerve, hit the curb, my car spins out of control, and I blow out my back right tire completely. I saw my lifffe flash before my eyes, no lie, crazy shit. So I pull into a parking lot and ramble in my head who I can call....Only one person I know who knows how to change a tire/fix cars. That'd be my justin. &&& it all went downhill from there.
He wouldn't even look at me, or talk to me. It was awful, I was hystercial and I don't even want to write about it to relive it. Yes, I've been holding things in, and yes this made me come to terms with how much I love and miss him. &&&&AND HOW BADLY I FUCKED UP BY LETTING HIM GO. BY GIVING UP. Yes, I lost it completely. Yes, it was my fault. Yes, he's moved on and has feelings for someone else. AND YES I THOUGHT IT WOULD EVENTUALLY HAPPEN. I'm still allowed to be a wreck about it, I don't really care what anyone else's opinons are. I don't really honestly think many of my friends could handle what we went through, and what we're still going through, and yet some people have the nerve to be so selfish and not even ask me if I'm ok. Not even ask me if I need someone to talk to or just to listen to me. I'm real disapointed with some people as far as what their terms of best friends really are.
As far as "the bank girl" and thats what I will refer to her as from now on, well she can go fuck herself. There is no possible way he can feel what he felt for me about some lame chick he met at the bank. Even if so, hey good for him, as long as he's happy. I have complete and utter faith in our relationship. I mean yesterday I was a mess, but that was yesterday. Today is today and I'm feeling better.
Anyway, I'm praying for rain, I'm praying for tidle waves. Not really, but just a whole lot of snow.
I had a good day at school, don't get me wrong. I found out bitches continued to talk shit...(which today got worked out so thats besides the point) I got home and everything turned to complete and utter shit. Did you ever have a day where you would loose your head if it wasn't attatched, and you know it? Well that was my afternoon, only stranger. I would put something down and loose it, and while I was looking for it I would find money. This went on for a good hour and I found $12. NOT even kidding. All I wanted to do was go to borders and get a book. Anne Sexton or Sylvia Plath, and thank GOD i never made it because that wouldn't have been the most UPLIFTING things to read.
On my way to borders, someone cuts me off, almost hits me head on. I swerve, hit the curb, my car spins out of control, and I blow out my back right tire completely. I saw my lifffe flash before my eyes, no lie, crazy shit. So I pull into a parking lot and ramble in my head who I can call....Only one person I know who knows how to change a tire/fix cars. That'd be my justin. &&& it all went downhill from there.
He wouldn't even look at me, or talk to me. It was awful, I was hystercial and I don't even want to write about it to relive it. Yes, I've been holding things in, and yes this made me come to terms with how much I love and miss him. &&&&AND HOW BADLY I FUCKED UP BY LETTING HIM GO. BY GIVING UP. Yes, I lost it completely. Yes, it was my fault. Yes, he's moved on and has feelings for someone else. AND YES I THOUGHT IT WOULD EVENTUALLY HAPPEN. I'm still allowed to be a wreck about it, I don't really care what anyone else's opinons are. I don't really honestly think many of my friends could handle what we went through, and what we're still going through, and yet some people have the nerve to be so selfish and not even ask me if I'm ok. Not even ask me if I need someone to talk to or just to listen to me. I'm real disapointed with some people as far as what their terms of best friends really are.
As far as "the bank girl" and thats what I will refer to her as from now on, well she can go fuck herself. There is no possible way he can feel what he felt for me about some lame chick he met at the bank. Even if so, hey good for him, as long as he's happy. I have complete and utter faith in our relationship. I mean yesterday I was a mess, but that was yesterday. Today is today and I'm feeling better.
Anyway, I'm praying for rain, I'm praying for tidle waves. Not really, but just a whole lot of snow.