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[kiss_your_elbow]

maybe love is about growing up
and not finding somebody to build an imaginary world with.

the real world is a lot more immediate
and mortgage payments must weigh more heavily than pirate ships and blanket forts.

and maybe its time to admit that what i always thought i was saving for someone
doesn't really have any value at all.

Comments

[mathteacher]

Are "growing up" and "finding somebody to build an imaginary world with" mutually exclusive?

♥

[kiss_your_elbow]

not necessarily. just rambling while i try to process my thoughts. had a semi argument with the boy over a white lie he told. feeling frustrated because i think...he thinks i'm mad about what he lied about...while i'm not even...mad. more...(lots of ...s) frightened. i have always considered love a safe haven. i have always worked towards being a hand to hold, a neck to curve into, never farther than a phone call away. and that is what i have always wanted in return. i completely understand the fib and don't care about the actions the fib was about. i am concerned about the fib. about why it would be considered necessary or correct.

i feel like i'm sitting in a white room and he just spilled a glass of red wine. it was an accident and no harm was meant. but now there's a stain.

i feel like he thinks i'm being ridiculous for noticing it.
but i want him to clean it up.

[beatificdreams]

Oh, sweetie. I totally understand this. I am the same way in my relationships. And the silly boys always assume it's about the thing rather than the lie (obviously they are focused there and self conscious because they cared enough to lie). Sometimes I want to just bop them in the head with a pillow and say, "Just Try Me. Just try telling the truth and watch my reaction. It may open your mind up to beautiful new things."

[mathteacher]

Hey! Any chance you're free for a road trip leaving mid-morning Saturday, May 14, and returning early afternoon Sunday, May 15? It might perhaps have something to do with this...

[kiss_your_elbow]

@mathteacher - you burlesque stalker you! hehe

[mathteacher]

:D ♥

[kiss_your_elbow]

exactly. taking the time to explain the truth to me is so worth it. and if i don't understand? hold my hand, get me a cup of coffee, and explain it again. i would much rather talk something out then find out later i had gotten a silly lie instead to smooth things over. taking a moment to work out a disagreement makes me further trust and love him. taking a moment to figure out why i was lied to makes me feel gullible and taken advantage of.

[mathteacher]

hmm... i'd tell you that you're not being ridiculous, but you already know that. beyond that, i'm woefully unqualified to give relationship advice. :/

*hugs*?

[kiss_your_elbow]

hugshugshugs. i love my boy more than puppies and kitties combined, so i know i'll let this go in another day or two. just right now, i needed somewhere to kick the dirt around.