My Stream Of Consciousness
Sometimes when I fall asleep at night it doesn't feel right. Like I'm doing it wrong.
There is something aching inside me and I can't figure it out.
I love Adam. He's my baby.
I love Brian, He's like honey suckle.
My love life is thriving, my life as a whole could use some work.
May not be able to finish out DeSales because of money issues, my brother got into University of Delware - Sweet, but we still have no money.
I've been listening to "Calling You" by Blue October
Groovy tunes and a beautiful band.
Can't get the song out of my head. So I play it over and over like a beautiful broken record of sorts.
I don't like to sleep alone. I like knowing there is someone there.
I'm independent thought, so it doesn't make sense.
My whole world is twisted up somehow.
I want so much more, SO much MORE.
Why can't I find it?
THere was a little girl at the Cheesecake Facotry last night, she was so tiny, she couldnt have been snapped in half by a sneeze. Children. I want them. Can I bare them? Don't know, I need to get a fertility test.
I was a surprise, my older sister, myself, and waynuie - my amazing little brother -- we were all surprises.
Mummy wasn't supposed to have been able to have kids.
I might not be able to. If I do - It'll probably be a heinous nine months of pure torture and depression. The delivery would be painful, cesarian, and possibly dangerous to my health and/or life. But a baby? Oh, it would be SO worth it.
I don't want kids now.
I want something else now
I just don't know what it is.
I wonder if people use LiveJournal much anymore.
I rediscovered its healing properties of release.
My hair looks amazing today, and I'll be in Ocean City, MD for work until like... 10?
Fireworks
20-25 dollars an hour?
Flirting with teh adorable 32 year old that works with Gary and does hair?
Can someone say HEAVENSSSS?
I can.
I don't want to fade away
Sometimes I write and it is wonderful. Other times it is not.
"I'm so in love with you. You'll never take that away"
I have never been IN LOVE
The music in thatv song gives me chills.
You know what else gives me chills?
Ice cubes on my back.
Kim wrote a sexy scene in her journal - and it turned me on
So now I'm sitting here, getting ready top leave for Maryland, Horny as all get out, wishing I had him in my arms, and wondering what was so God-damn wrong with me that SHE couldnt stand to be around me anymore. Bitch.
No, she isnt a bitch. She's lonely and she's confused and I hope she's happy with whoever it is thats taking her to bed, now. I never knew the human heart was so maleable.
I want to smell like honey suckle and Lavender.
Adam is lavender t9o me
I feel like we're drifting apart though, and it devastates me.
When you kiss the people that you love, you should kiss them like you'll never kiss them again.
And when you hold them in your arms, make sure they know you're arms are safe havens for their souls.
And when you cry, you can come to me, and I will be a haven for you.
I wish I was a haven for someone
I wish I made a difference
But I am so lovely sometimes, I can be so lovely
I could probably be beautiful if I tried so very hard, too.
There is something aching inside me and I can't figure it out.
I love Adam. He's my baby.
I love Brian, He's like honey suckle.
My love life is thriving, my life as a whole could use some work.
May not be able to finish out DeSales because of money issues, my brother got into University of Delware - Sweet, but we still have no money.
I've been listening to "Calling You" by Blue October
Groovy tunes and a beautiful band.
Can't get the song out of my head. So I play it over and over like a beautiful broken record of sorts.
I don't like to sleep alone. I like knowing there is someone there.
I'm independent thought, so it doesn't make sense.
My whole world is twisted up somehow.
I want so much more, SO much MORE.
Why can't I find it?
THere was a little girl at the Cheesecake Facotry last night, she was so tiny, she couldnt have been snapped in half by a sneeze. Children. I want them. Can I bare them? Don't know, I need to get a fertility test.
I was a surprise, my older sister, myself, and waynuie - my amazing little brother -- we were all surprises.
Mummy wasn't supposed to have been able to have kids.
I might not be able to. If I do - It'll probably be a heinous nine months of pure torture and depression. The delivery would be painful, cesarian, and possibly dangerous to my health and/or life. But a baby? Oh, it would be SO worth it.
I don't want kids now.
I want something else now
I just don't know what it is.
I wonder if people use LiveJournal much anymore.
I rediscovered its healing properties of release.
My hair looks amazing today, and I'll be in Ocean City, MD for work until like... 10?
Fireworks
20-25 dollars an hour?
Flirting with teh adorable 32 year old that works with Gary and does hair?
Can someone say HEAVENSSSS?
I can.
I don't want to fade away
Sometimes I write and it is wonderful. Other times it is not.
"I'm so in love with you. You'll never take that away"
I have never been IN LOVE
The music in thatv song gives me chills.
You know what else gives me chills?
Ice cubes on my back.
Kim wrote a sexy scene in her journal - and it turned me on
So now I'm sitting here, getting ready top leave for Maryland, Horny as all get out, wishing I had him in my arms, and wondering what was so God-damn wrong with me that SHE couldnt stand to be around me anymore. Bitch.
No, she isnt a bitch. She's lonely and she's confused and I hope she's happy with whoever it is thats taking her to bed, now. I never knew the human heart was so maleable.
I want to smell like honey suckle and Lavender.
Adam is lavender t9o me
I feel like we're drifting apart though, and it devastates me.
When you kiss the people that you love, you should kiss them like you'll never kiss them again.
And when you hold them in your arms, make sure they know you're arms are safe havens for their souls.
And when you cry, you can come to me, and I will be a haven for you.
I wish I was a haven for someone
I wish I made a difference
But I am so lovely sometimes, I can be so lovely
I could probably be beautiful if I tried so very hard, too.