(no subject)
So my life at the moment.....
Band is amazing, Im enjoying it so much. I adore the guys that Im with they make the day better with their jokes. The show is awesome andthe crowd loves it,I enjoy performing so much! I feel like I lay everything out and people just take it in, what an exciting feeling. It reminds me of dancing, I hate that I quit after 10 years but maybe I can sign up for a class here at school.
Im in class at the moment and we are talking about cynics, I makes me think about how cynical I am at times. I don't believe things until I see and experience them for myself. (thats random I know).
School....is going really well, I don't have any bad grades. I love everything except for my speech class..the professor is a blooming idiot. He makes me want to kill C.S Lewis again, even if he is already dead. I love historyand my communications class its awesome!
Socially..wonderful as well been hanging out on the weekends with friends. Trying not to drink too much (went to practice with a hangover....that was bad). Saw Resident Evil,,.,,,,it was freaking sweet! I loved it!
I love doing things and being busy.
Relationships......hah those are sour. Jason is turning out to be a disappointment......well not really just things are different now because Im gone. Otherwise I know there are a few guys that have been trying to spend some time with me but Im just not interested. Im just apathetic about guys now. Just the past haunts me with questions. I don't see why I deserve some things, or what I did wrong, or why is someone so much better than me. I don't understand how I don't compare. I just never get a chance, people assume too early on. And the sad thing is im he one that gets hurt not them. Or they just don't even try....
So lately I just haven't been able to sleep peacfully without disturbing images or wet eyes.
anyway on to another topic....
My health... still having foot problems, the doctor can't really help me cause im so active. I walk everywhere I work out a lot and im in band...so im screwed and im not ready to give it up. Umm what else....more muscle.....things are looking good, can't wait to go shopping.
So thats it for now my life is good, no bad things. I have everything I need, food, shelter, educations, a job. Im all good. I heart Western. Im still going to fill out transfer applications to to UNC, NCSU and Charleston. I want to be closer to somewhere like home. Hey maybe even UNCC.....that is home. I think I want to get an apartment next year too.