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Robin (my boss) is sick today, which means, once again, boredom reigns!!!
Anywho, I was listening to 102.7 on the radio this morning and instead of hearing every song Julie named in her entry (Thank God), they had this "What girls should not say on the first date" list which, somehow, became a discussion about soul mates. So, as I'm listening, I'm thinking, of course no one has one particular person their supposed to be with! Then, as I kept listening, I started bouncing back and forth. It was like the devil/angel thing. So here's what I came up with:
Against Soul Mates:
-Not that any of my high school relationships would have turned into a marriage, I'm just using this as an example. Senior year there were three guys that I thought I could have been perfect with. Not necessarily because I had a crush on them, but because all three of them brought out a different side of me. I had a different kind of attraction to all three. And the thing is, all three of them had other people that they matched, not just well with, but NEAR perfectly with. There wasn't just one person that I saw everyone with, I just saw what people chose to make themselves happy. Who, at that time in their life, they felt they had the strongest connection with. Not the only connection, just the strongest.
-And saying NEAR perfect brings me to my next argument. No relationship is perfect. No person is perfect. Having the "perfect" person for you makes it seem like things are too easy. I don't think relationships should be difficult or anything, but perfect is boring. I want to know that I can still be with someone through difficult times because then it makes me feel like, as a couple, we've accomplished something.
-Last point, what happens when you find your soul mate and they pass away? Do you decide to date again, or does that part of your life end with your significant other's passing? And if you DO date again, who is your soul mate, person number one, or person number two?
For Soul Mates:
-Ok, to counter the first point on the against side I'll use the movie/play Philadelphia Story. Warning, there are plot spoilers ahead, sorry! (It is a really good movie though, you should rent it sometime!) So I've watched this movie and seen the play and I love it. The story is about a girl named Tracy who is wealthy, beautiful, and supposedly perfect. She hates to see the weak side of anyone else so she lacks a little human compassion. By the end of the movie, Tracy has three pursuers: husband-to-be George who practically worships Tracy. He's a good man all around, hard-working, good-looking, all the positives and what have you. He tells Tracy she's a goddess and he wants to build her an ivory tower; newcomer Mike who is a reporter for Spy magazine sent to spy on Tracy's wedding and come back with a good story. He wants to quit at Spy and become a real writer. He's kind of like the out on a whim guy, or a breath of fresh air for Tracy. He romances her in one night and calls her a queen rather than a goddess; then there's the ex-husband, Dexter (my favorite!), whose main purpose is to provide funny banter for Tracy. He gives her a hard time because he knows that she's not meant to be a goddess, nor does she want to be treated like one. He gives her hell because he loves her and she loves him for it. He's not cruel to her, fyi. He's just like a best friend I guess, or the closest to being her best friend than the other two. So, in the end, Tracy ends up picking Dexter because that's her soul mate. He's the only one that was exactly what she wanted. Not that the other two weren't great guys and she wouldn't have happy lives with them, it's just that she and Dexter were perfect for each other because they knew exactly what the other wanted.
-Now, the "perfect" thing. Still, no one is perfect, no relationship is perfect, but I guess that's what makes a "perfect" relationship so perfect, is that through everything right or wrong about someone else, all you see is right. You love them for who they are, no matter what. Back to Dexter =) He was a drinker and Tracy hated it. Tracy was spoiled and Dexter hated that. But there wouldn't be anyone else in the world that would make them happy like the other person. Sorry that's kind of repetitive!
-Aaaaaaaand last point, for real! There are some people who, when they lose their significant other, never marry again because they know no one else can take the place of that true love. They completely believe that they had a soul mate and, even though that person is gone, they can live and die happy knowing that had that love in the first place. And the ones that do re-marry, they probably just do it for companionship rather than love.
Honestly, I think a lot of this comes down to if you believe in fate or choice. Do you believe fate pushed you towards someone, that no matter what you supposedly "choose" it was all pre-determined and your choices were never really yours to begin with? Or are you thoroughly convinced that your life is yours and yours alone, and every choice you make opens a new pathway that you will pave by yourself? I don't even know! I'm not terribly interested in finding a soul mate at this point. I'm straddling the line between choosing my own path and wanting to avoid finding anyone for awhile but if fate would like to step in and throw him at me I won't complain either =) I guess I likes me a good paradox. I'm more interested in what other people think on this subject. I don't usually write in livejournal but I'm really curious to know what other people think about soul mates and fate vs choice. Not on my opinions or the arguments above really, I just want to know what you think! Humor me, yeah?