(no subject)
OK... I have to share this with y'all... this is from my friend Jaimie's livejournal... and I know you guys will get a kick out of it!
Background... my friend Jaimie is from my highschool, and she currently goes to school at the University of Florida (Brando you met her). She is also a terrific writer - so it is very well put!
OK... here it is... this is all Jaimie's story... Enjoy!
the other night, i had the most interesting of customers. as i was delivering the drinks to another table, the hostess sat an elderly woman wearing a hot pink muumuu at a table right behind me. assuming that hot pink muumuu wearing people would be slightly on the friendly side (based on the extroversion required to wear the color hot pink, and the general good-naturedness of muumuu wearing elderly ladies), i turned and smiled, said, "how are you doing tonight?"
hot-pink-muumuu-lady looks at me and goes, "is there some problem?" some sort of wall mentally slammed itself into my brain at that point, and i blinked.
"no, not at all, i was just asking how your day was..." poor jaimie goes into confused mode, as hot-pink-muumuu-lady throws another curve...
"what is the problem? really!"
"there's no problem at all, i just..."
"i just want my damn drink and to order some food!" by this time, hot-pink-muumuu-lady's face is more or less the color of her muumuu, and i have no idea what she's so angry about.
"okay, ma'am, we can do that..." i'm absolutely bewildered. i pull out my handy dandy folder-of-stuff-to-write-orders-on and attempt a confused sort of smile.
"jesus, what the hell is your problem?"
more confusion from jaimie.
"really, ma'am there's no problem... i can just take..."
at this point, the crazy enraged rhino in hot pink leans over, glaring up at me. i'm more or less in tears, as i don't do well at all with pointless meanness, and she snarls in my face...
"jesus. i just wanted some fucking food, but whatever."
enraged rhino stands up, and i back away, figuring that even an elderly pink-hued rhinoceros is something to avoid, but she just looks at me, before storming off, and says, "fuck it. i'm complaining to the manager..." and storms out. so i stand there for a few seconds, contemplating going after her, and my other table takes this moment to complain that their sweet tea isn't sweet enough. (have i ever mentioned that i hate southerners? because i do. i hate their drawl and their grits and their sausage gravy and country fried steak, and i hate their fucking sweet tea. but that's another issue entirely.) so i am in tears, absolutely confused, and i go back to the kitchen for about five minutes before calming down enough to deliver drinks... and later, the manager confesses that even if enraged-rhino-in-pink-muumuu comes back into the restaurant to complain, they won't fire me, because i have the highest server rating of any of the non-management servers... i still have no idea how i offended that psychotic woman, but i swear, if i ever see her in a dark alley (and she'd be hard to miss) i'm going to beat the bloody piss out of her. *grah* the only problem is, after the whole incident, i'm terrified to greet my tables... especially if they're old and brightly colored.
HAHAHAHA... I think its hilareous!! I can relate to the waitress part for obvious reasons... and I can also relate to the hatred of some southerners - actually - just the hatred of Floridians. But she failed to mention their horrific driving or their incompitence to use a turn signal - which I know she also suffers from. Anyway... I am all out of laughs... seriously, my tummy hurts! Man I miss that girl and her humor.
Background... my friend Jaimie is from my highschool, and she currently goes to school at the University of Florida (Brando you met her). She is also a terrific writer - so it is very well put!
OK... here it is... this is all Jaimie's story... Enjoy!
the other night, i had the most interesting of customers. as i was delivering the drinks to another table, the hostess sat an elderly woman wearing a hot pink muumuu at a table right behind me. assuming that hot pink muumuu wearing people would be slightly on the friendly side (based on the extroversion required to wear the color hot pink, and the general good-naturedness of muumuu wearing elderly ladies), i turned and smiled, said, "how are you doing tonight?"
hot-pink-muumuu-lady looks at me and goes, "is there some problem?" some sort of wall mentally slammed itself into my brain at that point, and i blinked.
"no, not at all, i was just asking how your day was..." poor jaimie goes into confused mode, as hot-pink-muumuu-lady throws another curve...
"what is the problem? really!"
"there's no problem at all, i just..."
"i just want my damn drink and to order some food!" by this time, hot-pink-muumuu-lady's face is more or less the color of her muumuu, and i have no idea what she's so angry about.
"okay, ma'am, we can do that..." i'm absolutely bewildered. i pull out my handy dandy folder-of-stuff-to-write-orders-on and attempt a confused sort of smile.
"jesus, what the hell is your problem?"
more confusion from jaimie.
"really, ma'am there's no problem... i can just take..."
at this point, the crazy enraged rhino in hot pink leans over, glaring up at me. i'm more or less in tears, as i don't do well at all with pointless meanness, and she snarls in my face...
"jesus. i just wanted some fucking food, but whatever."
enraged rhino stands up, and i back away, figuring that even an elderly pink-hued rhinoceros is something to avoid, but she just looks at me, before storming off, and says, "fuck it. i'm complaining to the manager..." and storms out. so i stand there for a few seconds, contemplating going after her, and my other table takes this moment to complain that their sweet tea isn't sweet enough. (have i ever mentioned that i hate southerners? because i do. i hate their drawl and their grits and their sausage gravy and country fried steak, and i hate their fucking sweet tea. but that's another issue entirely.) so i am in tears, absolutely confused, and i go back to the kitchen for about five minutes before calming down enough to deliver drinks... and later, the manager confesses that even if enraged-rhino-in-pink-muumuu comes back into the restaurant to complain, they won't fire me, because i have the highest server rating of any of the non-management servers... i still have no idea how i offended that psychotic woman, but i swear, if i ever see her in a dark alley (and she'd be hard to miss) i'm going to beat the bloody piss out of her. *grah* the only problem is, after the whole incident, i'm terrified to greet my tables... especially if they're old and brightly colored.
HAHAHAHA... I think its hilareous!! I can relate to the waitress part for obvious reasons... and I can also relate to the hatred of some southerners - actually - just the hatred of Floridians. But she failed to mention their horrific driving or their incompitence to use a turn signal - which I know she also suffers from. Anyway... I am all out of laughs... seriously, my tummy hurts! Man I miss that girl and her humor.