(no subject)
I fucking hate you.
I fucking hate who you are
who I thought you were
what you do
what you've done
and how you make me feel.
fuck you for ruining everything.
fuck you for admitting to it
and fuck you for not fighting for it.
all I've wanted is to be wrong
every fucking day I wake up and wish that it was just a nightmare
I hope that maybe, somehow, I could have fallen victim to the largest hoax ever
oh wait I did....and it was you.
because I'm done pretending and ignoring and caring and hurting
I still don't understand how I have never been into lying...but its always been into me.
you don't even know how much you have devastated me.
this wasn't in the plan
this wasn't a part of our life together....you know that one we had? that apparently was only of any value to me. where the only things we ever needed were ltj, the beach, mind enhancers, and each other.
...sorry getting lost in the illusion...(it was always just her)
that was never the plan. the b side to that false reality was you and your secrets. you know what a lie is, and the fact that concealing it inside does not burn you alive is evidence enough that you're a terrible person.
I gave you everything. more than I've given anyone in a long time...you were a part of every single aspect of my life and you had to take advantage of it. take it all.
you're the only one who gets depressed. you're the eternal victim. you're the one who deserves it...so you suck it up, you take the life right out of me and give nothing back.
you're greedy
you don't deserve these fucking tears and you don't deserve any of these words.
all I have to say is that if I was being falsely accused and unjustly put through emotional hell by the person I claimed to care about...then I'd fight for it.
but then again, whats worth fighting for?
maybe I'm right
maybe I've always been too right
and too fucking naive
I deserve this knife in my chest because I fucking asked for it
but fuck you for it.
my eyes have never burned you quite like your apathy and silence have buried me.
I fucking hate who you are
who I thought you were
what you do
what you've done
and how you make me feel.
fuck you for ruining everything.
fuck you for admitting to it
and fuck you for not fighting for it.
all I've wanted is to be wrong
every fucking day I wake up and wish that it was just a nightmare
I hope that maybe, somehow, I could have fallen victim to the largest hoax ever
oh wait I did....and it was you.
because I'm done pretending and ignoring and caring and hurting
I still don't understand how I have never been into lying...but its always been into me.
you don't even know how much you have devastated me.
this wasn't in the plan
this wasn't a part of our life together....you know that one we had? that apparently was only of any value to me. where the only things we ever needed were ltj, the beach, mind enhancers, and each other.
...sorry getting lost in the illusion...(it was always just her)
that was never the plan. the b side to that false reality was you and your secrets. you know what a lie is, and the fact that concealing it inside does not burn you alive is evidence enough that you're a terrible person.
I gave you everything. more than I've given anyone in a long time...you were a part of every single aspect of my life and you had to take advantage of it. take it all.
you're the only one who gets depressed. you're the eternal victim. you're the one who deserves it...so you suck it up, you take the life right out of me and give nothing back.
you're greedy
you don't deserve these fucking tears and you don't deserve any of these words.
all I have to say is that if I was being falsely accused and unjustly put through emotional hell by the person I claimed to care about...then I'd fight for it.
but then again, whats worth fighting for?
maybe I'm right
maybe I've always been too right
and too fucking naive
I deserve this knife in my chest because I fucking asked for it
but fuck you for it.
my eyes have never burned you quite like your apathy and silence have buried me.