i thought this was nifty!
dear lauren,
You are really _____. You should _____. We need to go _____. After that we can _____. Remember that time we _____? That was real _____. Maybe tomorrow we can _____. You are my _____. I _____ you!
Love, _______
do it, you know you wanna! hehe
ok so im in a weird mood...wanna be happy, trying to be happy, not really working as far as i know, but oh well i guess. not much i can really do about this one...ugh my dad is being a dick. i have given up total hope that he would actually quite smoking...who was i kidding?! grrr sry evreyone i just really need to vent about this, so if u dont wanna hear it, stop reading. there, u have been warned! lol he becomes more and more like my nana everyday, just the person he keeps telling us he doesnt want to be. thats another thing, my nana and my dad are so freakin hard headed that they are still fighting! all i keep thinking is god forbid something happens to my nana, all my dad is going to keep saying is he feels guilty. i just wish family wouldnt fight so much. nice thought, not gonna happen, i know i know. oh and here is soemthing else real amusing...ugh. my uncle....no he isnt relaly that anymore...well phil came to visit my grandpa, first time my grandpa moved here. he came on my birthday which he didnt even remember, not like i would have wanted a call or a gift or anything like that from him or his wife ginny, but thats not the point. he stayed till wednesday...and my mom went by my grandpas, like she does EVERYDAY and guess who she saw...yea, phil! she said it was the most uncomfortable 30 minutes she has ever felt in here entire life. and phil actually had the nerve to say to dorothy(my moms cousin, i love her!) that he doesnt know why my grandpa chose arizona over penn. and then he actually had the nerve to say he would visit my grandpa everyday! yea right! I even know he wouldnt do that! i have to say, my mom has to be the strongest person i know. she lost her mother(who im sure she misses everyday, just like i do), my phil turned out to only be concerned with money and became, nvm i dont wanna say that, she grew close to my uncle mike(who i never really knew but i have grown to love and miss him almost like we were always close), and she visits my grandpa everyday...who continues to get worse, we all know it, we just hope and pray that he will be a miricle again, and she has to deal with my dad, who, well im sure most of u know...yells at her always. i envy my mom. i could never have gone through all she has in this past year and a half. she amazes me. i can only hope to grow up to be atleast half a strong person as her. she hides most of how she is feeling, but i am like her, no matter how hard i try to hide how sad i am, it always shows. my mother has courage, more than i ever knew. my mother had dreams and hopes thats she gave away for my father. my mother is my hero, she is my strength, my srive to do better. most people say i will die before i become my parents, well you kow what? i wouldnt mind being my mom.
ok i think i have written too much....i feel a little better i guess. anyways thanx to those of you who read this, well listened actually...cause i really am speaking from my heart. i love you all so much. none of you really know how much you all mean to me, probably because i havent told you. i dont know what id do without ANY of you! especially michelle and rachel.....this isnt mean to offend anyone, i promise. michelle and ray~you both mean the world to me. thank you for always being here, for listening, for our crying talks in my floor over a certain someone lol, for being my shoulder to lean on when i always needed one,for opening your hearts to me and letting me try to help you in the way you both have lifted me. i really do not know how i would get through life if it werent for the both of you. to everyone else~thank you...to old friends, and new ones. even if we arent close anymore, or jsut beginning to get close, i appreciate you more than u all know. you have all been there for me to talk to without being judgemental(ok almost always lol) david~you have become my soul baby. you have changed me in ways i ddint think possible. you make my heart smile, when i dont think it is possible. you believe in me when sometimes i doubt myself. and most of all, i believe in you, with all my heart. i love you so much baby. i am so happy we are together..
wow ok i swear i am done now, honest! i have written way way way too much. i love you all, good night!
i love you!