so wow
jeez, i havent updated in such a long time...a lot has happened since my last post..which was valentine's day...
i got a job at this company called Best Entertainment Around... i do costume characters for children's parties and the like...so far i've done Elmo, Dora and her monkey Boots, and this dragon from Dragontales...and a clown...i make balloon animals and shit...make about 70 dollars an hour..not bad...
so i finished midterms..i got a 100 on my religion midterm and i didnt get my grade for my italian midterm yet but im pretty sure i did well. those were the only two that i had.
i also had a kickass springbreak. me, seth and our friends tom and diana went to Toronto, Canada for like 4 days. it was amazing. my first time out of the country. i would so totally move there. so much fun stuff happened. and in the end, the whole trip only ended up costing $500, which may seem like a lot, but as far as vacations go thats amazing.
so tonite was definately interesting, but i'll start with last night. last night, francine and i were talking online and she invited me to go bowling with her...so i went to her house and jess picked us up...and angela and megan and chip and some other people were there, and i found out that Recoil had a show today, and they were all like "you should go" and tony and mike had both told me to go, and i had talked to raven online and he said he really didnt care or whatever. so i went, i almost didnt just because i really didnt want to see raven because i didnt know how things would go down. but i heard he was kind of seeing this chick or whatever so i figured what the hell and i just went (plus cini wouldnt let me say no)...so jess picked me up and we met everyone there.. it was really cool seeing everyone again...though it felt extremely weird because the last time i was at a show or even saw most of them i was with raven. so i see him and i didnt know if i should say hi or what i should do. he barely even looked at me so i figured he didnt want to talk. but as the night went on i became more and more upset. i just felt that we could at least be cordial to each other. a "hello" and "goodbye" never killed anyone.. everyone was telling me to talk to him, but i didnt want to walk up and have him be mean or ignore me or whatever, so i asked jess to talk to him for me. and she did and apparently he was giving her this huge attitude and was all pissed off and said "theres nothing to talk about"....
all i wanted to say to him was that a lot of these people are my friends too, and im not going to alienate myself anymore just because he might show up or be there or whatever. i dont want things to be awkward for us and everyone else, i just wanted things to be somewhat comfortable. i wasnt going to ask him to be my best friend, i just wanted him to possibly acknowledge my existence. i mean i lost my freaking virginity to him, i loved him and he loved me and it hurts that he like, hates me so much now that he cant even look at me. but whatever, he didnt want to talk so fine, let it be awkward.
in just these past two days i've gotten so much closer to people that i had known for a year, and even angela said that she talked to me more in these past two days than she did the whole time i was with raven. so he's just going to deal with me being there, because his presence is not going to stop me from hanging out with people. i can totally deal with him being around. i tried to be the bigger person and it didnt work out, whatever....
my feelings were pretty hurt, and a lot of the night i kind of wanted to cry. i wasnt expecting a warm welcome, but i wasnt expecting the ice cold attitude either. the worst part of the night was definately when he left the diner. he made a point to go around to every person at the table and hug or shake hands goodbye, and when he got to me, he just turned around and left. everyone's jaw dropped, and a lot of people weren't too happy with him tonite. i dont want to cause problems with him and his friends, but there are better ways of handling the situation. but my resolve is somewhat wearing thin, so im basically washing my hands of it.
i was pretty upset after the night was over, but it was nice because every single person (except the girl Katie (i think her name is) ) was there for me, hugs, and just talking to me. and of course i called seth a couple times throughout the night, and when i got home, and just hearing his voice put a smile on my face, so things are better now. i just wish things didnt have to be this way.
but thats enough ranting about it, like i said, im just not going to care anymore...if he wants to talk, then fine, let him come to me because im done trying.
soooooo tomorrow i have to clean my room, do laundry, and clean my car and then go back up to school cuz spring break will be over. =(. but it's less than two months till the semester is done, and then i have four months of summer vacation.
its rediculously late, and im going to bed...
i got a job at this company called Best Entertainment Around... i do costume characters for children's parties and the like...so far i've done Elmo, Dora and her monkey Boots, and this dragon from Dragontales...and a clown...i make balloon animals and shit...make about 70 dollars an hour..not bad...
so i finished midterms..i got a 100 on my religion midterm and i didnt get my grade for my italian midterm yet but im pretty sure i did well. those were the only two that i had.
i also had a kickass springbreak. me, seth and our friends tom and diana went to Toronto, Canada for like 4 days. it was amazing. my first time out of the country. i would so totally move there. so much fun stuff happened. and in the end, the whole trip only ended up costing $500, which may seem like a lot, but as far as vacations go thats amazing.
so tonite was definately interesting, but i'll start with last night. last night, francine and i were talking online and she invited me to go bowling with her...so i went to her house and jess picked us up...and angela and megan and chip and some other people were there, and i found out that Recoil had a show today, and they were all like "you should go" and tony and mike had both told me to go, and i had talked to raven online and he said he really didnt care or whatever. so i went, i almost didnt just because i really didnt want to see raven because i didnt know how things would go down. but i heard he was kind of seeing this chick or whatever so i figured what the hell and i just went (plus cini wouldnt let me say no)...so jess picked me up and we met everyone there.. it was really cool seeing everyone again...though it felt extremely weird because the last time i was at a show or even saw most of them i was with raven. so i see him and i didnt know if i should say hi or what i should do. he barely even looked at me so i figured he didnt want to talk. but as the night went on i became more and more upset. i just felt that we could at least be cordial to each other. a "hello" and "goodbye" never killed anyone.. everyone was telling me to talk to him, but i didnt want to walk up and have him be mean or ignore me or whatever, so i asked jess to talk to him for me. and she did and apparently he was giving her this huge attitude and was all pissed off and said "theres nothing to talk about"....
all i wanted to say to him was that a lot of these people are my friends too, and im not going to alienate myself anymore just because he might show up or be there or whatever. i dont want things to be awkward for us and everyone else, i just wanted things to be somewhat comfortable. i wasnt going to ask him to be my best friend, i just wanted him to possibly acknowledge my existence. i mean i lost my freaking virginity to him, i loved him and he loved me and it hurts that he like, hates me so much now that he cant even look at me. but whatever, he didnt want to talk so fine, let it be awkward.
in just these past two days i've gotten so much closer to people that i had known for a year, and even angela said that she talked to me more in these past two days than she did the whole time i was with raven. so he's just going to deal with me being there, because his presence is not going to stop me from hanging out with people. i can totally deal with him being around. i tried to be the bigger person and it didnt work out, whatever....
my feelings were pretty hurt, and a lot of the night i kind of wanted to cry. i wasnt expecting a warm welcome, but i wasnt expecting the ice cold attitude either. the worst part of the night was definately when he left the diner. he made a point to go around to every person at the table and hug or shake hands goodbye, and when he got to me, he just turned around and left. everyone's jaw dropped, and a lot of people weren't too happy with him tonite. i dont want to cause problems with him and his friends, but there are better ways of handling the situation. but my resolve is somewhat wearing thin, so im basically washing my hands of it.
i was pretty upset after the night was over, but it was nice because every single person (except the girl Katie (i think her name is) ) was there for me, hugs, and just talking to me. and of course i called seth a couple times throughout the night, and when i got home, and just hearing his voice put a smile on my face, so things are better now. i just wish things didnt have to be this way.
but thats enough ranting about it, like i said, im just not going to care anymore...if he wants to talk, then fine, let him come to me because im done trying.
soooooo tomorrow i have to clean my room, do laundry, and clean my car and then go back up to school cuz spring break will be over. =(. but it's less than two months till the semester is done, and then i have four months of summer vacation.
its rediculously late, and im going to bed...