happy new year
a trend that i noticed throughout peoples journals and blogs is their reflection on this past year. i look back and think about how soo much has changed, so much has happened. i think this holiday just has this effect on people. its a new year. what will happen in 2006? Before rambling on about my recent life, i'm going to list some things about this year
-brought in the new years with raven. birthday, valentine's day. i worked two different jobs with him. we were a huge part of each others lives. To think that this time last year i wasnt even with him for six months yet, but it seems like we broke up soo long ago. i really did love him, though i'm sure he doesnt believe that. it is true that i have moved on, and i dont love him anymore. though, true love never fully goes away. i miss him sometimes. not so much being with him, just him in general. once again im sad that we havent managed to salvage a friendship out of this mess, but with time, who knows. and if not, i truly do wish him the best in everything, and that he finds someone who makes him happy, unlike myself.
-i went to my prom, interesting experience.
-i got my first tattoo. it was painful, but very worth it. as soon as i get some money, there will be another one added to my collection lol.
-my first facial piercing. i love how it looks, a pretty good experience for the most part, though the bubble definately sucked. i was soo self concious about it.
-i went on a great boat trip with my closest friends, all the MATES seniors.
-i graduated high school. wow, i feel like thats so long ago.
-i went to myrtle beach with my family, good times.
- i turned 18!
-i worked two jobs at once, for the first time ever.
- i had my first internship at All Shore Orthopedics. i thought i was going to be a doctor.
- i started college. what an amazing experience. this has been, on the whole, the greatest time of my life. i've made such great friends and i feel that we just continue to get closer and closer. kim and kyle especially.
-i had my first hang over (but definately not my last) i experimented a lot, made some mistakes, learned from them. learned that some things are more important than others (after the fact). hindsight is 20/20. This is a learning experience, this is the time where i discover who i truly am, and whats important.
-i (barely) survived my first semester of college. i didnt ace all my classes, but i passed, and i learned and this semester is going to be much better academically, especially since i changed my major.
-i took up smoking. ME....smoking. i used to give my parents such shit about it. raven too. and if you ask me exactly how or when or why i started, i couldnt tell you. it just sort of happened, just like everything up at MSU. life just sort of happens, i learned that.
- for the first time ever, i made out with someone who i wasnt in a relationship with. i dont regret that so much as i regret havng sex with someone i was not involved with. it was a mistake, a stupid mistake that i regret to this day. but i learned from it. i learned that you cant trust people that youve known for less than 2 months. when your drunk, and invite someone to cuddle, and it turns into sex, you know they are taking advantage of you, but your brain isnt working, it doesnt tell you to stop. i dont think many people outside of MSU know about this, well now you do. and i know some people, if they even read this anymore, may judge. but we all make mistakes. we all do stupid things sometimes. i know i'm not a slut. i've had sex with three people in my whole life. 2 of which i was very much involved with. if that was the only one night stand i ever have in my life, it'll be one too many.
-i've gone to the city on three seperate occasions, all were different and interesting. i went to a jazz club for the first time. it was really nice (even though it was pricey). of course the time i went with seth was the best.
-i met seth. what an amazing series of events that brought us together. we were in the same place, and we both didnt want relationships. but we found each other. and we are so great together. we get along so well. he makes me smile more than anyone ever has and probably ever could. there is not ONE thing that i would change about him..i truly love him, so very much. he is great to me. i just hope that i am as good to him as he is to me. he is the most amazing guy i ever met. i truly believe we are perfect for each other.
i have to say that the biggest thing i learned this year is to be true to yourself. people do stupid things, they make mistakes and sometimes hurt other people. but the most important thing is to learn from them, not to continue to repeat them. thats the difference between a smart person and a dumb person. smart people sometimes do very stupid things, but they look at it as a learning experience. the night that i smoked that laced weed, i seriously did think that i was going to die. i dont know, maybe i could have. but i know better now. it was scary, but i learned from it. i am so happy with my life. i love the person i am becoming. i truly feel comfortable being me, knowing that i have someone who not only loves me, but understands me, and has the same goals as i do. someone i can fall asleep to every night, someone who holds me when i cry, who gets me chinese food at 12 am. who puts me first, who is thoughful and caring. every time i kiss him i feel it in my gut, it feels right. it feels amazing. and i just can't believe that anyone would be stupid enough to hurt this person, or make them unhappy. i love seth so much....
but anyways, i guess i should write about how my new years was.
well.....seth broke out in hives, cuz he was allergic to his antibiotic. so he came, but he didnt spend the night, which made me sad. kyle, whitney, and kim also came. backalakis ended up not coming. alot of my parents friends and my family were there. it was interesting to do shots with chad, my cousin pat and my cousin brenda. i definately got a little tipsy last night, but i think im finally starting to know my limits. i didnt get sick, i felt totally fine, and i didnt even have a hang over this morning,. and the best part was i got to bring in the new year kissing the man i love, with his arms around me and me totally absorbed in him. i think i really forgot everyone else was there. he's such a great guy.
well, my mom is awake now so i think i'll go downstairs....
-brought in the new years with raven. birthday, valentine's day. i worked two different jobs with him. we were a huge part of each others lives. To think that this time last year i wasnt even with him for six months yet, but it seems like we broke up soo long ago. i really did love him, though i'm sure he doesnt believe that. it is true that i have moved on, and i dont love him anymore. though, true love never fully goes away. i miss him sometimes. not so much being with him, just him in general. once again im sad that we havent managed to salvage a friendship out of this mess, but with time, who knows. and if not, i truly do wish him the best in everything, and that he finds someone who makes him happy, unlike myself.
-i went to my prom, interesting experience.
-i got my first tattoo. it was painful, but very worth it. as soon as i get some money, there will be another one added to my collection lol.
-my first facial piercing. i love how it looks, a pretty good experience for the most part, though the bubble definately sucked. i was soo self concious about it.
-i went on a great boat trip with my closest friends, all the MATES seniors.
-i graduated high school. wow, i feel like thats so long ago.
-i went to myrtle beach with my family, good times.
- i turned 18!
-i worked two jobs at once, for the first time ever.
- i had my first internship at All Shore Orthopedics. i thought i was going to be a doctor.
- i started college. what an amazing experience. this has been, on the whole, the greatest time of my life. i've made such great friends and i feel that we just continue to get closer and closer. kim and kyle especially.
-i had my first hang over (but definately not my last) i experimented a lot, made some mistakes, learned from them. learned that some things are more important than others (after the fact). hindsight is 20/20. This is a learning experience, this is the time where i discover who i truly am, and whats important.
-i (barely) survived my first semester of college. i didnt ace all my classes, but i passed, and i learned and this semester is going to be much better academically, especially since i changed my major.
-i took up smoking. ME....smoking. i used to give my parents such shit about it. raven too. and if you ask me exactly how or when or why i started, i couldnt tell you. it just sort of happened, just like everything up at MSU. life just sort of happens, i learned that.
- for the first time ever, i made out with someone who i wasnt in a relationship with. i dont regret that so much as i regret havng sex with someone i was not involved with. it was a mistake, a stupid mistake that i regret to this day. but i learned from it. i learned that you cant trust people that youve known for less than 2 months. when your drunk, and invite someone to cuddle, and it turns into sex, you know they are taking advantage of you, but your brain isnt working, it doesnt tell you to stop. i dont think many people outside of MSU know about this, well now you do. and i know some people, if they even read this anymore, may judge. but we all make mistakes. we all do stupid things sometimes. i know i'm not a slut. i've had sex with three people in my whole life. 2 of which i was very much involved with. if that was the only one night stand i ever have in my life, it'll be one too many.
-i've gone to the city on three seperate occasions, all were different and interesting. i went to a jazz club for the first time. it was really nice (even though it was pricey). of course the time i went with seth was the best.
-i met seth. what an amazing series of events that brought us together. we were in the same place, and we both didnt want relationships. but we found each other. and we are so great together. we get along so well. he makes me smile more than anyone ever has and probably ever could. there is not ONE thing that i would change about him..i truly love him, so very much. he is great to me. i just hope that i am as good to him as he is to me. he is the most amazing guy i ever met. i truly believe we are perfect for each other.
i have to say that the biggest thing i learned this year is to be true to yourself. people do stupid things, they make mistakes and sometimes hurt other people. but the most important thing is to learn from them, not to continue to repeat them. thats the difference between a smart person and a dumb person. smart people sometimes do very stupid things, but they look at it as a learning experience. the night that i smoked that laced weed, i seriously did think that i was going to die. i dont know, maybe i could have. but i know better now. it was scary, but i learned from it. i am so happy with my life. i love the person i am becoming. i truly feel comfortable being me, knowing that i have someone who not only loves me, but understands me, and has the same goals as i do. someone i can fall asleep to every night, someone who holds me when i cry, who gets me chinese food at 12 am. who puts me first, who is thoughful and caring. every time i kiss him i feel it in my gut, it feels right. it feels amazing. and i just can't believe that anyone would be stupid enough to hurt this person, or make them unhappy. i love seth so much....
but anyways, i guess i should write about how my new years was.
well.....seth broke out in hives, cuz he was allergic to his antibiotic. so he came, but he didnt spend the night, which made me sad. kyle, whitney, and kim also came. backalakis ended up not coming. alot of my parents friends and my family were there. it was interesting to do shots with chad, my cousin pat and my cousin brenda. i definately got a little tipsy last night, but i think im finally starting to know my limits. i didnt get sick, i felt totally fine, and i didnt even have a hang over this morning,. and the best part was i got to bring in the new year kissing the man i love, with his arms around me and me totally absorbed in him. i think i really forgot everyone else was there. he's such a great guy.
well, my mom is awake now so i think i'll go downstairs....