let me see please????????????????
I wish I had the strength to do what I believed.. I wish I had the strength to not make myself bleed. Do not have the power to do what I desire. I do not have the power to show how I feel. I count hours that could have been used.. but were so wasted.. Time is not the problem.. I am.. Why can’t I change? Why can’t I be the person I want to be? Why can’t I love who I want to love with out being judged I seem to cry yet it is to late.. I cry so much.. it really fucking sucks.. I don’t mind crying its just that I can’t seem to stop when I do.. I cry in class I cry every where.. I hate crying in school because then I start puking from nervousness and it hurts.. But I think the pain with in side me hurts worse then anything I have ever felt before.. I don’t know what to feel.. I don’t know how to feel at times.. I guess.. I confuse myself and I get all messed up… feel like a bag.. it looks full but there’s really nothing inside of it.. There was never something.. I was never something.. I thought I was.. but I realized how wrong I was.. Things I did.. Things I do.. I just don’t know anymore.. Nope.. I just don’t. What is the point of letting my feelings out? No one can answer that except for me.. I mean every time I do let my feelings out they are thrown away.. They don’t count.. I don’t count.. I’m just going to drown.. Like I should have so long ago.. I’m not pitying myself.. I’m just trying to figure out why I feel this way.. What makes me feel this way.. I just don’t understand at all.