Awards
Did you know there is an actual mercenary awards thing? Yeah, totally like the Oscars. It's bizarre. I remember the first time I went, I was kind of in awe.
Ok, so it's not exactly like the Oscars. People don't get dressed up and the damn thing sure as hell isn't on TV. And it's always at an undisclosed location. You kind of have to be in the know to even know about it. We're kinda into secrets like that. But, it's not like I'll ever get invited back, so I'm outing all of you right now.
Mercs have some of the biggest egos ever. Seriously. Did you know that I was like, the Susan Lucci of the merc world? Nominated out the ass but never recognized. And personally, I think I'm a much better actress, but that isn't really important. Nate's won a ton, though he never showed up to get any of them. And guess who had to accept them in his honor? If you guessed me, well you're wrong. GW Bridge. Asshole thought it was funny, too. Always winked at me when he got up there just to piss me off. Wade's won a bunch, too and you have no idea how much that angers me. People don't even LIKE Wade and they give him awards left and right. Hell, I'm the fucking darling of the mercenary world, and yet I got zilch.
Well, that is until three years ago. Do you know what I won? I got the Lifetime Achievement award. WTF? Seriously, what the hell. You give that to mercs who are DEAD, not ones who are still kicking ass. They have NEVER given that to anyone alive. Except me. So I shot the presenter.
*sigh* It was just a flesh wound.
But it's complete crap! I mean, are they trying to force me into retirement? 'Cause fat chance on that, assholes. I've been a merc since before it was legal for me to drink, and I really don't know much else. Oh sure, I led an X-group. But hell, who hasn't, right? It's a phase everyone goes through.
And for your info, yes, I kept it. Because how I figure it, eventually, I'll figure out a way to kill a mark with that damn award. Then they'll have to name the piece of shit after me.
Now THAT's an achievement.
Ok, so it's not exactly like the Oscars. People don't get dressed up and the damn thing sure as hell isn't on TV. And it's always at an undisclosed location. You kind of have to be in the know to even know about it. We're kinda into secrets like that. But, it's not like I'll ever get invited back, so I'm outing all of you right now.
Mercs have some of the biggest egos ever. Seriously. Did you know that I was like, the Susan Lucci of the merc world? Nominated out the ass but never recognized. And personally, I think I'm a much better actress, but that isn't really important. Nate's won a ton, though he never showed up to get any of them. And guess who had to accept them in his honor? If you guessed me, well you're wrong. GW Bridge. Asshole thought it was funny, too. Always winked at me when he got up there just to piss me off. Wade's won a bunch, too and you have no idea how much that angers me. People don't even LIKE Wade and they give him awards left and right. Hell, I'm the fucking darling of the mercenary world, and yet I got zilch.
Well, that is until three years ago. Do you know what I won? I got the Lifetime Achievement award. WTF? Seriously, what the hell. You give that to mercs who are DEAD, not ones who are still kicking ass. They have NEVER given that to anyone alive. Except me. So I shot the presenter.
*sigh* It was just a flesh wound.
But it's complete crap! I mean, are they trying to force me into retirement? 'Cause fat chance on that, assholes. I've been a merc since before it was legal for me to drink, and I really don't know much else. Oh sure, I led an X-group. But hell, who hasn't, right? It's a phase everyone goes through.
And for your info, yes, I kept it. Because how I figure it, eventually, I'll figure out a way to kill a mark with that damn award. Then they'll have to name the piece of shit after me.
Now THAT's an achievement.