Aloneness
Ever have those days when all you want to do is just shut yourself in a little hole and pretend that there is no world but yourself. For a couple days now I've felt completely and utterly alone. Various thoughts of neutrality entered my head, but all of them got turned negative upon entry. I do several things when I'm upset - become severely antisocial, write poetry, or read my old poetry. This may be why all of my poems are so heart wrenchingly sad, and reading them when I'm upset is probably not the best. In an attempt to free myself from the antisocial mood I somehow gotten myself into, I'm posting another poem I wrote a couple of years ago. Due to the nature of the poem, I have to specify that it does not have anything to do with any men in my life, and the 'I' in the poem is not me, just the perspective I took. I don't even remember any more what inspired this poem. I'm just wondering if my poems are really as wrenching as I think they are, or just when my mood is icky I see more pain and suffering in them than there should be. Here it is.
And Now Again ...
And now again I walk the path
Roads of eternal sorrow
The happiness I held so close
My heart again is hollow
I told myself I’d never love
My heart I’d never open
Too many problems dealt by life
Too often left heart-broken
You came into my life and then
I thought you’d be the keeper
But every day when you’re away
Your absence hurts me deeper
Your busy life has little room
To spend with your beloved
You don’t see how you make me swoon
When I know you’re my lover
I gave you all I had in life
My heart, my soul, my being
And you, you whispered words of love
My innocence corrupting
Those days my life was filled with bliss
I thought I lived in heaven
But then she stole your gentle kiss
And took away my haven
Or maybe I was just a fool
A prey for your seduction
My innocence is what you stole
Of my heart is left but a fraction
I stand alone, look at the world
The happiness around me
And yet to me it seems so cold
A wretched place to be
Those who I trusted most of all
Betrayed me one by one
They weren’t there, they let me fall
Laughed at my broken mind
I never win, I always lose
The game of love is finished
It’s not the path I wish to choose
Where happiness is banished
By life I was dealt a harsh hand
I keep my head up high
I know my pain will never end
But I still have to try
And now again I walk the path
Roads of eternal sorrow
The happiness I held so close
My heart again is hollow
And Now Again ...
And now again I walk the path
Roads of eternal sorrow
The happiness I held so close
My heart again is hollow
I told myself I’d never love
My heart I’d never open
Too many problems dealt by life
Too often left heart-broken
You came into my life and then
I thought you’d be the keeper
But every day when you’re away
Your absence hurts me deeper
Your busy life has little room
To spend with your beloved
You don’t see how you make me swoon
When I know you’re my lover
I gave you all I had in life
My heart, my soul, my being
And you, you whispered words of love
My innocence corrupting
Those days my life was filled with bliss
I thought I lived in heaven
But then she stole your gentle kiss
And took away my haven
Or maybe I was just a fool
A prey for your seduction
My innocence is what you stole
Of my heart is left but a fraction
I stand alone, look at the world
The happiness around me
And yet to me it seems so cold
A wretched place to be
Those who I trusted most of all
Betrayed me one by one
They weren’t there, they let me fall
Laughed at my broken mind
I never win, I always lose
The game of love is finished
It’s not the path I wish to choose
Where happiness is banished
By life I was dealt a harsh hand
I keep my head up high
I know my pain will never end
But I still have to try
And now again I walk the path
Roads of eternal sorrow
The happiness I held so close
My heart again is hollow