[sorry]

[kishirepantera]

I suck. I haven't been making any time to sit in front of my computer and keep up with anything. I'm 3 episodes behind in Bleach. I don't post regularly anymore. I hardly comment on entries or reply to comments I receive. I don't know what's tearing me away from my house so much lately. I wish this entry could be longer and more apologetic but I'm

Comments

[hope_assassin]

Excuse me while I'm being painfully frank, something that would probably get my heart racing if I ever had to tell you in person because of a huge mix of emotions, and maybe that's the reason why it's so easy to say it when you can't get to reply immediately, but my very deep running issues aside, here's what I have to say in all honesty: What irked me is that you were ready to bail out on people and just about stand on one arm while balancing an egg on your tip-toe high in the air when it was for Keith but you didn't want to make some time for us who supported you and keep loving you and worrying and all that shit.

But, again, my moronic, low-self-esteem-bred issues put aside, I am really, truly happy you're enjoying yourself outside of the net and experiencing the real things, what's more to life than e-buddies and online anime. Really, I'm very glad. ^_^ I just wish that... I could get to be a part of that too, you know? With hearing from you again, and getting to share your happiness, success, help you through your worries... I don't know, I just miss you, I guess...

Ignore me while I go brood over how little life I currently have. xD

[kishirepantera]

I can understand what you mean about how I treat Keith. I even noticed it about myself. I sort of thought of it as being almost pet-like: he calls, I come running. And I realize that it's probably wrong for me to even be okay with it, but whether Keith wants to admit it or not, there is a tiny something there, and I know that on some level he does care about me. I don't know. It wouldn't make sense if I tried to explain it.

It does feel good to finally get to relax though. I think I'm well overdue for a break from venturing all over the place. I'm wearing myself too thin trying to hang out with everyone because I can't hang out with everyone at once, thus, someone is gonna be left out and unhappy which is only natural and totally understandable. I myself was quite jealous and sad to hear of all those trips you took one after the other, but as long as you had fun that's what's important to me in the end. ^_^

I should like make clones of myself so that I can be in multiple places at once haha, but I think that would be far more crazy than me not having computer time. XD

[hope_assassin]

Well, I don't know what to tell you, I haven't been in the same situation so I couldn't possibly know how I'd behave if I were in your shoes in regards to your Keith situation but at any rate, I think you can do better. Or at least that you could take a step back or something, and he'll come back yearning. ^_~ And if he doesn't, then he wasn't worth it in the first place, so yeah. But I'll stop pushing my nose in stuff that's none of my business really, and to tell you the truth, I know there is something, not really all as tiny as you try to make it out to be, either but he just can't notice it because he's feeling pressured in some way or another perhaps. Thus my crazy advices. But anyway, enough about that. xD

Your cloning idea reminds me of two things: first one being Weird Al Yankovic's "I Think I'm a Clone Now" song--hilarious stuff right there xD You need to check it out--and the second one being the main character in Naruto's most favourite technique--the shadow clone technique. If you could do that, you could make it so everyone wins. xD You can be at multiple places at the same time if you have the mental strength to make enough clones of yourself that is lol and the real you would gain all their experiences once you dispel them--it's the most awesome thing ever, isn't it? I wish life could be at least a bit like anime. xD

I think you should have as much fun as possible and to heck with the rest. :> Like you said too and I said earlier, as long as you're happy, I'm happy for you too. :3