This is how we roll in journalism!
If Recent Books Are Weighing Your Diet Down, Head For Those Just Desserts That Made You Happy As a Child.
Has counting words become more exciting than reading? Are newer books weighing you down? Then sit down, relax and grab a blast from your past.
Send a ring of roses
Or pockets full of posies
Ashes, ashes
We all drop dead.
From Shakespeare to Students, everyone contemplates the meaning of life, death and why the world goes ‘round. With pie. Key lime. Lots of it. With whipped cream. Yummy. I like pie. Pie is good. Megan likes it too. Why yes, she does. And Rachael. Yup. I like peanut butter. Without salmonella. Megan, too. With chocolate. But not chocolate pie. It tastes funny. I hate chocolate pie. ☹ But French Silk pie is good. Duh. Jelly Bellies shouldn’t go . . . wait, no. They should go in pie. What, no. That’s stupid. Duh. Jalapeño cheesecake > jelly bean pie. Gross. Everything goes with ranch dressing, right? What about peanut butter. That was supposed to be a question. It’s all a figment of your imagination. Not if I print this out. I could eat it. You know I would. Paper is high in fiber. And poison, don’t forget the . . . waste? :/ I hate waste. I hate apes, not the drivable kind. You drive apes? You’re a more adventurous woman than I. But I have sparkles in my bag. ARE YOU A VAMPIRE?????? Nope. :| But you sparkle. Nope. My glitter doesn’t go “squirt.” Gee. Getting risqué, are we? It’s not in a bottle. You’re dirty in the head. I’m friends with GUYS. It is sooooo not my fault. But they’re mostly gay. That means they like cocks, silly. So do you. No, I hate roosters. Didn’t you know that? I don’t like eggs. But eggs make baby dinosaurs. And stupid Narbonne students. All of Narbonne is stupid. It’s like one word. Like MeganRachael one word. Alden called me Reagan. I was there! 8D StupidNarbonne, then? You were judging. I was making fun of what’s his face. Ben has a face. Not a very nice mouth. But a big head. Gee. I wouldn’t have guessed in a million bajillion years. I hate lazy, pizza-eating staff. Duh. Isn’t that obvious? I have “Bite me if you can” in my bag. After months away with silly little purple princesses in Julie’s non-world. What. My co-ed. Not as in guy. Ooh! I like pie! Are we back to pie now? Did not great Julius bleed for justices sake? No, he bled because he’s an idiot. And just a bit two-timing with Brutus and Cassius. Someone got jealous. There’s always jealousy in Shakespeare. Shakespeare too. Who was that guy? The one who said he touched some villain’s body? IDK, my bff Riku? What does that make Rachael? My bbff. See, double the awesome. Plus, we’re shippable. Like FedEX! 8D I LIKE . . . stupid caps . . . make me sad . . . ! Don’t be sad! Be happy. HAPPY I SAY. SAD is embarrassing, because I can spell. I can’t spell. In any language. Fonts always make me giggly. I don’t like bugs. I like the drivable kind! Me too! What a coincidence.
WE are shippable, to Alaska maybe. We’ll be known everywhere. You, know. All the best pairings.
IGNORE THIS. SRSLY.