[pornmas] day 1.
Summary: The thing about knowing someone's body better than your own is that there are always new things to discover, in the same way that favorite songs reveal new secrets every time you listen to them.
Fandom/Pairings: Drawing Blood; Trevor Black/Zachary Bosch
Rating: R
Pre-Notes: Let's try pornmas again. For the record this takes place in a massive modern au of Poppy Z Brite books, but nothing about that au is important here.
Disclaimer: No.
it's not my fault i'm a maniac
Trevor knows the lines of Zach's body like the words to his favorite song. Sometimes he sits down to draw and the only thing that comes out of his pencil is the lines of Zach's body, which was definitely much weirder before he even knew Zach's name or even anything about him other than the fact that he was a student at the local college and he seemed to hate the coffeeshop with ever fiber of his being.
(Now, Trevor knows that Zach doesn't exactly hate the coffeeshop. He just hates coffee, which is something they argue about constantly. Trevor has taken to going over to Tran's if he wants to drink coffee without being judged. Tran's boyfriends still kind of creep him out, but Trevor's learned that they're just intensely protective of Tran.)
The thing about knowing someone's body better than your own is that there are always new things to discover, in the same way that favorite songs reveal new secrets every time you listen to them. Besides, being able to draw someone from memory isn't the same as knowing the way they taste when they've just woken up or when they're fresh from the shower.
Those are things Trevor knows about Zach too, and he assumes that Zach knows about him. He's never asked, because it's sort of a weird thing to ask, but Trevor knows that Zach files away information like a magpie tucks away shiny objects. He loves information in a way no one else Trevor knows does, where Trevor just remembers information.
(One of the things Trevor and Tran have in common is that they sometimes just absorb things and fold them into their very being. Lately, Trevor hasn't had a reason to change himself drastically, but Tran is a constantly shifting work of art. It's one of the things that Trevor likes about drawing Tran: the drawing never look quite the same. It's different than Eddy or Steve, who look essentially the same all the time, and somewhat similar to the way Zach sometimes shimmers like a mirage.)
When they have nothing better to do, Trevor and Zach will lie in bed and trace the lines of their bodies. Sometimes Zach will trace every inch of Trevor with his tongue before working him open, slow and easy. Sometimes Trevor will ink designs onto Zach's skin, an impermanent sign that he belongs to no one else.
Sometimes, of course, they have sex plain and simple. They're forever changing position and locations-Eddy was clear that the reason she moved out was 100% because knowing that they'd fucked on basically every surface of the apartment was disturbing-but Zach is inordinately fond of being in control and likes riding Trevor best. His hands wander across Trevor's body, fingers digging into flesh and sometimes closing around Trevor's throat. The gesture would be terrifying, if not for the fact that Trevor is intensely aware it's a test of trust. He trusts Zach to not squeeze.
What they have is still new enough that Trevor is aware Zach is still faltering. The full story of Zach's love life is something he doesn't know and doesn't care to know, but Tran has explained that Zach is . . . not the best at relationships. He sometimes keeps people at a distance, walls himself up and pushes at people until they leave. Tran speaks of it like it's an irritation, but Trevor understands it. It's not like he likes opening up to people either, because it's terrifying. Trevor's learned that people can hurt you in ways that you can't imagine, but having trust in them goes a long way. It feels absurd, knowing that he trusts Zach with his life, but it's not something that actually bothers Trevor that much most of the time.
He loves Zach more than anything else in the world, would probably kill for Zach, but sometimes the thought of that is terrifying. It doesn't bother him much when he's lying over Zach, balls deep and breathing heavy, but sometimes the weight of loving someone hits Trevor like a bad trip during stupid moments. When he's standing in the coffeeshop, glancing at the clock to see how long he has before he can go home and take a shower and see Zach. When he's drawing and the only thing that'll form out of the lines is Zach's face. When he wakes up in the middle of the night and Zach's at the desk, passed out on his keyboard.
In some ways, Trevor prefers the ease that comes with sex-with exploring Zach every way he can. There's nothing to think about when he's being fucked, when Zach's fingernails are trailing red marks down his skin. The places to touch his fingers in order to make Zach moan are becoming muscle memory, integrated into his very core, and that makes having sex with Zach easy. All he has to focus on is Zach, in that moment, and not what they'll be like in ten years or even tomorrow. Focus on the weight of Zach on his tongue, not if Zach loves him has much as he loves Zach.
At his core, Trevor knows that Zach loves him equally, but he's found that it's hard to stomp out the very last spiderwebs of doubt on darker days. The darker days are so few, now that Birdland has left him alone and he has Zach, but that's just made them hit harder than they did before. Zach's taken to laying Trevor out on the bed and rubbing him down with weird oils that smell funny, but relaxing, in order to help Trevor chase away the darker days. He speaks in murmurs against Trevor's skin that might not be fully formed words, but are full of sentiment.
Not needing words is a luxury Trevor feels like they're lucky to have. Because they've broken each other apart and peered inside, found what makes each other tick, sometimes words are useless and it's better to let their bodies talk instead.
And talk they do.
(ps: if you're late to the party/just want more porn, go check out the pornmas advent calendar/masterlist.)
This entry originally posted here. Original entry currently has
comments. :D
Fandom/Pairings: Drawing Blood; Trevor Black/Zachary Bosch
Rating: R
Pre-Notes: Let's try pornmas again. For the record this takes place in a massive modern au of Poppy Z Brite books, but nothing about that au is important here.
Disclaimer: No.
it's not my fault i'm a maniac
Trevor knows the lines of Zach's body like the words to his favorite song. Sometimes he sits down to draw and the only thing that comes out of his pencil is the lines of Zach's body, which was definitely much weirder before he even knew Zach's name or even anything about him other than the fact that he was a student at the local college and he seemed to hate the coffeeshop with ever fiber of his being.
(Now, Trevor knows that Zach doesn't exactly hate the coffeeshop. He just hates coffee, which is something they argue about constantly. Trevor has taken to going over to Tran's if he wants to drink coffee without being judged. Tran's boyfriends still kind of creep him out, but Trevor's learned that they're just intensely protective of Tran.)
The thing about knowing someone's body better than your own is that there are always new things to discover, in the same way that favorite songs reveal new secrets every time you listen to them. Besides, being able to draw someone from memory isn't the same as knowing the way they taste when they've just woken up or when they're fresh from the shower.
Those are things Trevor knows about Zach too, and he assumes that Zach knows about him. He's never asked, because it's sort of a weird thing to ask, but Trevor knows that Zach files away information like a magpie tucks away shiny objects. He loves information in a way no one else Trevor knows does, where Trevor just remembers information.
(One of the things Trevor and Tran have in common is that they sometimes just absorb things and fold them into their very being. Lately, Trevor hasn't had a reason to change himself drastically, but Tran is a constantly shifting work of art. It's one of the things that Trevor likes about drawing Tran: the drawing never look quite the same. It's different than Eddy or Steve, who look essentially the same all the time, and somewhat similar to the way Zach sometimes shimmers like a mirage.)
When they have nothing better to do, Trevor and Zach will lie in bed and trace the lines of their bodies. Sometimes Zach will trace every inch of Trevor with his tongue before working him open, slow and easy. Sometimes Trevor will ink designs onto Zach's skin, an impermanent sign that he belongs to no one else.
Sometimes, of course, they have sex plain and simple. They're forever changing position and locations-Eddy was clear that the reason she moved out was 100% because knowing that they'd fucked on basically every surface of the apartment was disturbing-but Zach is inordinately fond of being in control and likes riding Trevor best. His hands wander across Trevor's body, fingers digging into flesh and sometimes closing around Trevor's throat. The gesture would be terrifying, if not for the fact that Trevor is intensely aware it's a test of trust. He trusts Zach to not squeeze.
What they have is still new enough that Trevor is aware Zach is still faltering. The full story of Zach's love life is something he doesn't know and doesn't care to know, but Tran has explained that Zach is . . . not the best at relationships. He sometimes keeps people at a distance, walls himself up and pushes at people until they leave. Tran speaks of it like it's an irritation, but Trevor understands it. It's not like he likes opening up to people either, because it's terrifying. Trevor's learned that people can hurt you in ways that you can't imagine, but having trust in them goes a long way. It feels absurd, knowing that he trusts Zach with his life, but it's not something that actually bothers Trevor that much most of the time.
He loves Zach more than anything else in the world, would probably kill for Zach, but sometimes the thought of that is terrifying. It doesn't bother him much when he's lying over Zach, balls deep and breathing heavy, but sometimes the weight of loving someone hits Trevor like a bad trip during stupid moments. When he's standing in the coffeeshop, glancing at the clock to see how long he has before he can go home and take a shower and see Zach. When he's drawing and the only thing that'll form out of the lines is Zach's face. When he wakes up in the middle of the night and Zach's at the desk, passed out on his keyboard.
In some ways, Trevor prefers the ease that comes with sex-with exploring Zach every way he can. There's nothing to think about when he's being fucked, when Zach's fingernails are trailing red marks down his skin. The places to touch his fingers in order to make Zach moan are becoming muscle memory, integrated into his very core, and that makes having sex with Zach easy. All he has to focus on is Zach, in that moment, and not what they'll be like in ten years or even tomorrow. Focus on the weight of Zach on his tongue, not if Zach loves him has much as he loves Zach.
At his core, Trevor knows that Zach loves him equally, but he's found that it's hard to stomp out the very last spiderwebs of doubt on darker days. The darker days are so few, now that Birdland has left him alone and he has Zach, but that's just made them hit harder than they did before. Zach's taken to laying Trevor out on the bed and rubbing him down with weird oils that smell funny, but relaxing, in order to help Trevor chase away the darker days. He speaks in murmurs against Trevor's skin that might not be fully formed words, but are full of sentiment.
Not needing words is a luxury Trevor feels like they're lucky to have. Because they've broken each other apart and peered inside, found what makes each other tick, sometimes words are useless and it's better to let their bodies talk instead.
And talk they do.
(ps: if you're late to the party/just want more porn, go check out the pornmas advent calendar/masterlist.)
This entry originally posted here. Original entry currently has
comments. :D