Sometimes I have feelings about things no one cares about: HSM Edition
Why Are You A People, Reili (The Untitled Ramen Project)
Week 12, Word Count: 1775
Project: Point out all the flaws in something.
This post is part of the Untitled Ramen Project. If you'd like to learn more about this project click here to read more about it. :D
So this week's project is to eviscerate something you love and point out its flaws. I know that's not what it says up there, but that was the intent behind the project, so I am here to tell you that my forever fandom, the High School Musical franchise, actually has a shitload of problems.
I just don't talk about them very often.
It's not that I don't think they're important issues, more that they're not really issues that come up in fic and I don't generally get angry about things unnecessarily. It keeps my stress levels low.
Like all things, though, the High School Musical franchise (hereafter collectively referred to as HSM, with each movie being given a number) has its problems. The first (and arguably the one that people bring up the most often) is that they quite light in terms of plot. All three movies follow the same basic formula: Gabriella Montez screw up the status quo somehow, Sharpay doesn't like it and schemes against her, Gabriella and Troy get to sing together and then everyone is friends again. Really, that's all there is to the plot of my favorite movies.
Arguably, this is because they're meant for a younger, but a quick survey of currently-airing children's television and popular culture will tell you it's really just because they're cheaply made-for-tv movies (with the exception of HSM3, which is still pretty low-budget) and that younger folk can handle great plotlines and heavy story arcs. See Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated. Don't see Glee, because Glee is worse than HSM. We're not here to talk about Glee, though.
HSM suffers from some of the same problems as Glee does, however, the chief one they share being fairly sub-par writing in places. This is never more notable than my ~favorite~ line in HSM2, which is as follows:Gabriella Montez: What's the prize? Troy? The Stardazzle award? You have to go through all this just to get either one? No, thanks Sharpay. You're very good at a game that I don't want to play. So, I'm done here. But you better step away from the mirror long enough to check the damage that will always be right behind you.
The line is almost good! And then it's not. Also a product of poor writing is this scene, HumuhumunukunukuaPua'a, which is actually cut from tv broadcast. I think Zac Efron's face really says it all here:
This scene also features a beautiful exchange between Troy and Sharpay:Troy Bolton: Look, have you tried just singing? I mean, with none of the lights and sets and. Back up people?
Sharpay Evans: Well, it'd be much harder to get applause that way . . .
Troy Bolton: I'm not talking about applause. I'm talking about. Hanging out with friends! Doing nothing and singing, for fun!
Yeah. I don't really get it either. This scene does point out a pressing issue in HSM, though. To illustrate, here is a picture of HSM's six main characters:
(click to make it bigger)
Let's see. So we have three Caucasian characters totaling two boys and one girl, two African-American characters totaling one boy and one girl, and a lone Hispanic-American girl. That's pretty racially diverse, right? Props to Disney-no, hold on. HSM takes place in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Let's take a look at the racial makeup of Albuquerque, hm?Hispanic - 237,833 (44.9%)
White alone - 224,915 (42.5%)
American alone - 23,311 (4.4%)
Black alone - 17,386 (3.3%)
Asian alone - 13,538 (2.6%)
Two or more races - 10,395 (2.0%)
Other race alone - 1,580 (0.3%)
Native Hawaiian and Other Pacific Islander alone - 258 (0.05%)
Okay, we have roughly 50% Caucasian which rings true since 3/6 of the main characters are Caucasian. We have 3.3% Afrian-American, which is crazy since we have a 2/6 African-American cast and that's one-third African-American. Whatever, though, maybe this particular group of friends just has a higher number of African-Americans. That's fine. So we're pretty-wait. The population of Albuquerque is almost 50% Hispanic?
How many Hispanic characters do we have again? Oh, right: one (and she's actually played by an Asian-American, but that's neither here nor there). And she transferred in from somewhere else. I'm sorry, does this break anyone else's brain? HOW DO YOU ONLY HAVE ONE HISPANIC CHARACTER WHEN YOUR STORY IS SET IN NEW FUCKING MEXICO? I'll forgive HSM2 for being whitewashed because it's set at a country club and and country clubs are unfortunately very white, but how does that explain the lack of Hispanic characters in the other two movies? It's not just in the main cast, either. Here's a shot of the supposed student body:
(click to make it bigger)
I don't see a 50% Hispanic student body, do you? Perhaps, if you can't make out the makeup of the student body, it would be better to watch this video instead. I'm really not seeing the Hispanic students, and I'd be willing to let this slide if, perhaps, East High was a private school or even a upper-middle class one. It's not, though. Do you know how I know that? The whole plot of HSM2 is that they NEED MONEY ZOMG. Also Troy has a car that probably cost like a thousand bucks and is falling apart and I like to think that if my family that's pretty damn poor can afford to get me a fairly nice car (that I didn't ask for and subsequently sold), an upper-middle class family could afford to get him something from like. This decade.
(Even if they were teaching him a lesson in earning, I would think that they would match him dollar for dollar. That's what my parents used to do.)
And there's really no good way to transition to this next topic, so I'll just put it in all caps because it's the thing I like the least about HSM period: WHY IS INCEST PREFERABLE TO GAY, DISNEY? WHY.
You probably think I'm joking, but I'm not. This is an actual and legitimate issue HSM has and it drives me insane. Pay very close attention to the following series of images, okay?
(click to make it bigger)
(click to make it bigger)
(click to make it bigger)
(click to make it bigger)
(click to make it bigger)
The only super couple-y thing in those images is the way Taylor and Chad are sitting in the first image and probably the hand-holding. In several instances, Ryan and Sharpay do poses that are remarkably similar to the Troy and Gabriella or Chad and Taylor ones. Beyond that, Two of the pairs of people are canon couple and the third is a sibling pair that canonically have played the romantic leads in a play. Multiple times. I'm pretty sure that's more reasons to ship them than there are reasons to ship Chad/Taylor who have, like. Zero chemistry I am sorry. Sometimes I hate my canon. But hey! My canon also gave me this:
This doesn't have the scene following, but Chad and Ryan? They switch clothes after. Yeah. Yeah, this scene is THE BIGGEST SHIP TEASE TO EVER EXIST. If you can find me another ten straight minutes of something wherein two character who have NEVER INTERACTED (Chad brushes past Ryan in HSM1, that's about it) play something that's full of sexual innuendo, say shit like "I'll show you how I swing" OUTLOUD, have eyesex, then switch clothing, and then SUBSEQUENTLY INTERACT LIKE ONCE MORE? I will concede this point. Until then, this remains the SCENE THAT LAUNCHED A THOUSAND FICS.
Even my dad said it was the gayest shit he had ever seen, okay? (I had tivo'd HSM2 and was watching it alone in the living room when he walked back in and said "That's. Well, it's nice that Disney's branching out." Or something like that, I don't remember exactly I was too busy freaking out about how "I Don't Dance" was happening. On my screen. And they showed this on television.)
I had a point what was my point before I dissolved into Chyan feels. OH. Right right. Okay, you know what happens after that fest of gay? They do EVERYTHING POSSIBLE in HSM3 to make Ryan seem really straight. He goes to prom with a GIRL OH MY GOD.
(The thing you have to understand about this is that Kelsi and Jason were kind of consistent dance partners which means you're married in HSM-land. You think I'm joking, but I'm not. My canon is stupid okay. It's the canon where being unable to shoot hoops means you're having emotional turmoil NO REALLY.)
But that takes up like .00000001% of HSM3 because HSM3 is the fucking Troy and Gabriella show. Like. Here is the list of songs in HSM3 along with who sings them:Now or Never | Ensemble, Troy/Gabriella solo
Right Here, Right Now | Troy/Gabriella
I Want It All | Sharpay and Ryan
Can I Have This Dance? | Troy/Gabriella
A Night to Remember | Ensemble, Sharpay+Ryan solo
Just Wanna Be with You | Ryan+Kelsi; Troy/Gabriella
The Boys Are Back | Troy+Chad
Right Here, Right Now (Reprise) | Troy and Gabriella
Walk Away | Gabriella
Scream | Troy
Can I Have This Dance? (reprise) |Troy/Gabriella
* Last Chance | Kelsi/Ryan
* Now or Never (Reprise) | Chad, Ensemble
* I Want it All (Reprise) | Ryan
* Just Wanna Be with You (Reprise) | Sharpay+Jimmy, Troy/Gabriella, Ensemble
* A Night to Remember (Reprise) | Tiara+Sharpay
We're All in This Together (Graduation Mix) | Ensemble
High School Musical | Ensemble
Out of 14 numbers (all numbers with an * are part of a single sequence called "Senior Spring Musical"), 10 feature Troy or Gabriella in some major capacity. 7 of those are Troy/Gabriella duets. 3 of the 4 remaining numbers all have small Toy or Gabriella solos. I hate HSM3 with the burning fury of a thousand suns. It comes right after HSM2 which is like "oh hey, there's all these other characters and they are awesome!" and basically goes LOL J/K TROY AND GABRIELLA ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO MATTER WHY WOULD YOU CARE ABOUT THOSE OTHER CHARACTERS.
That's not even mentioning how Sharpay becomes an actual human in HSM2 and then she forgets how to be a real human in HSM3 and goes back to HSM1!Sharpay for . . . little to no discernible reason. And also she breaks character in an extremely unprofessional manner which she wouldn't do and sexual harassment is kind of played for laughs and FUCK HSM3 OKAY. FUCK IT GENTLY WITH A RUSTY KNIFE.
Let's see. We went over dumb plot, bad writing, fucked-up racial representation, incest trumping gay, HSM3 being the worst thing to ever exist, and yeah. That's pretty much it! I don't really have a good way to end this post so. Have a picture of Felicia Day dressed as Troy Bolton:
This entry originally posted here. Original entry currently has
comments. :D
Week 12, Word Count: 1775
Project: Point out all the flaws in something.
This post is part of the Untitled Ramen Project. If you'd like to learn more about this project click here to read more about it. :D
So this week's project is to eviscerate something you love and point out its flaws. I know that's not what it says up there, but that was the intent behind the project, so I am here to tell you that my forever fandom, the High School Musical franchise, actually has a shitload of problems.
I just don't talk about them very often.
It's not that I don't think they're important issues, more that they're not really issues that come up in fic and I don't generally get angry about things unnecessarily. It keeps my stress levels low.
Like all things, though, the High School Musical franchise (hereafter collectively referred to as HSM, with each movie being given a number) has its problems. The first (and arguably the one that people bring up the most often) is that they quite light in terms of plot. All three movies follow the same basic formula: Gabriella Montez screw up the status quo somehow, Sharpay doesn't like it and schemes against her, Gabriella and Troy get to sing together and then everyone is friends again. Really, that's all there is to the plot of my favorite movies.
Arguably, this is because they're meant for a younger, but a quick survey of currently-airing children's television and popular culture will tell you it's really just because they're cheaply made-for-tv movies (with the exception of HSM3, which is still pretty low-budget) and that younger folk can handle great plotlines and heavy story arcs. See Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated. Don't see Glee, because Glee is worse than HSM. We're not here to talk about Glee, though.
HSM suffers from some of the same problems as Glee does, however, the chief one they share being fairly sub-par writing in places. This is never more notable than my ~favorite~ line in HSM2, which is as follows:Gabriella Montez: What's the prize? Troy? The Stardazzle award? You have to go through all this just to get either one? No, thanks Sharpay. You're very good at a game that I don't want to play. So, I'm done here. But you better step away from the mirror long enough to check the damage that will always be right behind you.
The line is almost good! And then it's not. Also a product of poor writing is this scene, HumuhumunukunukuaPua'a, which is actually cut from tv broadcast. I think Zac Efron's face really says it all here:
Click to viewThis scene also features a beautiful exchange between Troy and Sharpay:Troy Bolton: Look, have you tried just singing? I mean, with none of the lights and sets and. Back up people?
Sharpay Evans: Well, it'd be much harder to get applause that way . . .
Troy Bolton: I'm not talking about applause. I'm talking about. Hanging out with friends! Doing nothing and singing, for fun!
Yeah. I don't really get it either. This scene does point out a pressing issue in HSM, though. To illustrate, here is a picture of HSM's six main characters:
(click to make it bigger)
Let's see. So we have three Caucasian characters totaling two boys and one girl, two African-American characters totaling one boy and one girl, and a lone Hispanic-American girl. That's pretty racially diverse, right? Props to Disney-no, hold on. HSM takes place in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Let's take a look at the racial makeup of Albuquerque, hm?Hispanic - 237,833 (44.9%)
White alone - 224,915 (42.5%)
American alone - 23,311 (4.4%)
Black alone - 17,386 (3.3%)
Asian alone - 13,538 (2.6%)
Two or more races - 10,395 (2.0%)
Other race alone - 1,580 (0.3%)
Native Hawaiian and Other Pacific Islander alone - 258 (0.05%)
Okay, we have roughly 50% Caucasian which rings true since 3/6 of the main characters are Caucasian. We have 3.3% Afrian-American, which is crazy since we have a 2/6 African-American cast and that's one-third African-American. Whatever, though, maybe this particular group of friends just has a higher number of African-Americans. That's fine. So we're pretty-wait. The population of Albuquerque is almost 50% Hispanic?
How many Hispanic characters do we have again? Oh, right: one (and she's actually played by an Asian-American, but that's neither here nor there). And she transferred in from somewhere else. I'm sorry, does this break anyone else's brain? HOW DO YOU ONLY HAVE ONE HISPANIC CHARACTER WHEN YOUR STORY IS SET IN NEW FUCKING MEXICO? I'll forgive HSM2 for being whitewashed because it's set at a country club and and country clubs are unfortunately very white, but how does that explain the lack of Hispanic characters in the other two movies? It's not just in the main cast, either. Here's a shot of the supposed student body:
(click to make it bigger)
I don't see a 50% Hispanic student body, do you? Perhaps, if you can't make out the makeup of the student body, it would be better to watch this video instead. I'm really not seeing the Hispanic students, and I'd be willing to let this slide if, perhaps, East High was a private school or even a upper-middle class one. It's not, though. Do you know how I know that? The whole plot of HSM2 is that they NEED MONEY ZOMG. Also Troy has a car that probably cost like a thousand bucks and is falling apart and I like to think that if my family that's pretty damn poor can afford to get me a fairly nice car (that I didn't ask for and subsequently sold), an upper-middle class family could afford to get him something from like. This decade.
(Even if they were teaching him a lesson in earning, I would think that they would match him dollar for dollar. That's what my parents used to do.)
And there's really no good way to transition to this next topic, so I'll just put it in all caps because it's the thing I like the least about HSM period: WHY IS INCEST PREFERABLE TO GAY, DISNEY? WHY.
You probably think I'm joking, but I'm not. This is an actual and legitimate issue HSM has and it drives me insane. Pay very close attention to the following series of images, okay?
(click to make it bigger)
(click to make it bigger)
(click to make it bigger)
(click to make it bigger)
(click to make it bigger)
The only super couple-y thing in those images is the way Taylor and Chad are sitting in the first image and probably the hand-holding. In several instances, Ryan and Sharpay do poses that are remarkably similar to the Troy and Gabriella or Chad and Taylor ones. Beyond that, Two of the pairs of people are canon couple and the third is a sibling pair that canonically have played the romantic leads in a play. Multiple times. I'm pretty sure that's more reasons to ship them than there are reasons to ship Chad/Taylor who have, like. Zero chemistry I am sorry. Sometimes I hate my canon. But hey! My canon also gave me this:
This doesn't have the scene following, but Chad and Ryan? They switch clothes after. Yeah. Yeah, this scene is THE BIGGEST SHIP TEASE TO EVER EXIST. If you can find me another ten straight minutes of something wherein two character who have NEVER INTERACTED (Chad brushes past Ryan in HSM1, that's about it) play something that's full of sexual innuendo, say shit like "I'll show you how I swing" OUTLOUD, have eyesex, then switch clothing, and then SUBSEQUENTLY INTERACT LIKE ONCE MORE? I will concede this point. Until then, this remains the SCENE THAT LAUNCHED A THOUSAND FICS.
Even my dad said it was the gayest shit he had ever seen, okay? (I had tivo'd HSM2 and was watching it alone in the living room when he walked back in and said "That's. Well, it's nice that Disney's branching out." Or something like that, I don't remember exactly I was too busy freaking out about how "I Don't Dance" was happening. On my screen. And they showed this on television.)
I had a point what was my point before I dissolved into Chyan feels. OH. Right right. Okay, you know what happens after that fest of gay? They do EVERYTHING POSSIBLE in HSM3 to make Ryan seem really straight. He goes to prom with a GIRL OH MY GOD.
(The thing you have to understand about this is that Kelsi and Jason were kind of consistent dance partners which means you're married in HSM-land. You think I'm joking, but I'm not. My canon is stupid okay. It's the canon where being unable to shoot hoops means you're having emotional turmoil NO REALLY.)
But that takes up like .00000001% of HSM3 because HSM3 is the fucking Troy and Gabriella show. Like. Here is the list of songs in HSM3 along with who sings them:Now or Never | Ensemble, Troy/Gabriella solo
Right Here, Right Now | Troy/Gabriella
I Want It All | Sharpay and Ryan
Can I Have This Dance? | Troy/Gabriella
A Night to Remember | Ensemble, Sharpay+Ryan solo
Just Wanna Be with You | Ryan+Kelsi; Troy/Gabriella
The Boys Are Back | Troy+Chad
Right Here, Right Now (Reprise) | Troy and Gabriella
Walk Away | Gabriella
Scream | Troy
Can I Have This Dance? (reprise) |Troy/Gabriella
* Last Chance | Kelsi/Ryan
* Now or Never (Reprise) | Chad, Ensemble
* I Want it All (Reprise) | Ryan
* Just Wanna Be with You (Reprise) | Sharpay+Jimmy, Troy/Gabriella, Ensemble
* A Night to Remember (Reprise) | Tiara+Sharpay
We're All in This Together (Graduation Mix) | Ensemble
High School Musical | Ensemble
Out of 14 numbers (all numbers with an * are part of a single sequence called "Senior Spring Musical"), 10 feature Troy or Gabriella in some major capacity. 7 of those are Troy/Gabriella duets. 3 of the 4 remaining numbers all have small Toy or Gabriella solos. I hate HSM3 with the burning fury of a thousand suns. It comes right after HSM2 which is like "oh hey, there's all these other characters and they are awesome!" and basically goes LOL J/K TROY AND GABRIELLA ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO MATTER WHY WOULD YOU CARE ABOUT THOSE OTHER CHARACTERS.
That's not even mentioning how Sharpay becomes an actual human in HSM2 and then she forgets how to be a real human in HSM3 and goes back to HSM1!Sharpay for . . . little to no discernible reason. And also she breaks character in an extremely unprofessional manner which she wouldn't do and sexual harassment is kind of played for laughs and FUCK HSM3 OKAY. FUCK IT GENTLY WITH A RUSTY KNIFE.
Let's see. We went over dumb plot, bad writing, fucked-up racial representation, incest trumping gay, HSM3 being the worst thing to ever exist, and yeah. That's pretty much it! I don't really have a good way to end this post so. Have a picture of Felicia Day dressed as Troy Bolton:
This entry originally posted here. Original entry currently has
comments. :D