An Open Letter to Artists Everywhere
So a long time ago, when I first started singing, I was incapable of taking compliments. Oh, I had the general idea that I liked compliments, but I would often baldly state to people that I was horrible, or that performance was regrettable, or some other thing that basically smacked them in the face and said "you are WRONG for liking it!" The most memorable time I did this was when I participated in a talent show my freshman year of college, where I sang (a cappella) a song I had written. And I thought I had done badly. I felt so horrible about it that when a girl I vaguely knew tried to compliment me, I yelled at her. She never spoke to me again, that I recall. But not long after that instance, my mother gave me a particularly cogent piece of advice. This is a rough approximation of what she said.
A compliment is like a present. It's something that a person gives you because they want to, and telling them that they're wrong, or complaining about the thing they complimented, is like taking that nice sweater your aunt gave you and telling her it's the wrong color and size, and does she have no taste at all?
Of course, it was quite difficult for me. All I could see was the mistakes I had made, the things that went wrong, the way the house lights stayed up for two minutes after I started, or getting off track in the middle, or squeaking on the high note. I couldn't see the forest for the trees, because I was an artist, and artists are constantly seeking to improve themselves. Writers, painters, sculptors, musicians, all of us are constantly striving to eliminate the flaws in our work, whatever we see as flaws. It's a futile effort, of course, as many things are beyond our control (for singers, hormone imbalance and improper nutrition are usually our worst enemies) and it's simply impossible to be perfect, especially with anything as highly subjective as art.
But eventually, with a lot of effort, I gained the ability to simply say "thank you". I did not expound on my mistakes, or tell them that they were wrong, because I could and did sing better. I simply accepted their praise as the gift it was, well meant and usually heartfelt. And when I did perform well, when I was proud, it was like whipped cream on the cake, and when I hadn't done well, it was salve for my wounds. A reminder that even though I am my own harshest critic, and I can and do sing better, there is always a default level I will be better than, and that bar is being raised all the time. I am consistently better now than I was three years ago, and I was consistently better then than I'd been three years before that. And I'm a great deal better now than I was six years ago, even if I have a long way to go. It's hard to remember, when I'm in the practice room, when I spend hour after frustrating hour hammering out the transition between two or three notes, or getting the breathing set correctly, or perfectly my facial expressions to fit the mood of the piece. Those are the times when all I can see are my blinding failures. But after the performance, that is the time I get to step back and remember that oh yeah, I actually am very good at this, especially when laypeople who know nothing of technique say I was great or amazing. Of course, I treasure the professional opinions of my voice teachers more, much more. To hear them say they're proud is the best feeling in the world. Likewise with my mother, who, while having no vocal training of her own, has watched and listened to my voice mature until she can spot the merest inconsistencies. She is the only one I go to after a performance (along with my voice teacher) and say "did you hear how dry my throat was on that piece? I didn't like the tone of that other at all, I could've done better" and she invariably agrees, but she also says that I did well. Hers is a very balanced opinion, comparatively.
So, like getting rid of shyness and the ability to open my heart to people on stage, I learned to take compliments. Now, I could give the most gut wrenchingly mediocre (because really, at this point I couldn't sing that badly without serious effort) performance, and still smile and say thanks to anyone who might compliment me. Yes, I take it with salt, but I also take it with graciousness. If I feel like they're idiots for enjoying it or that I should crawl into a corner and die from sucking, I don't let on.
And I wish to god there was some equivalent system in place for visual artists. Because I can think of so many artists, just off the top of my head, who do gorgeous work, who've worked for years at it, and while not necessarily masters of the craft, are still damn fine at what they do. Their art is beautiful, well formed, polished, AND YET EVERY SINGLE DAMN ONE OF THEM ACTS LIKE A COMPLIMENT IS A TRAVESTY TO BE DISPROVEN.
Well, let me clarify. Male artists of a non-anime bent rarely have this problem. Female artists who have actually been to art school and/or had professional shows rarely have this problem. Wherein, I suppose, probably lies the difference. But even many professional artists seem to think that someone is going to come along any minute and go "YOU. What the HELL do you think you're doing here?! THIS IS NOT ART. BE GONE."
I can tell you, I am sick of it. I am sick of emailing webcomic artists, telling them how I like their art (or sometimes, how cute their art is, if it's still a bit rough) and getting a "well I don't know why you'd think that, but thanks" or even worse "no, it really is crap, but thanks for trying to make me feel better."
... WHAT. Okay, I've already shown you how insulting that is to me, because I went out of my way to compliment them and they stomped all over me. So let's talk about how fucking arrogant you have to be to act that way.
Oh yes, I said arrogant. Because if you really, truly believed that your art was crap, you wouldn't post it online. You would draw because you wanted to, but you would hide those drawings shamefully in a dark part of your room, perhaps under the bed, and never let anyone see them except possibly your mom or best friend.
Now, I will allow that certain webcomics can be the exception, because sometimes a person wants to write something for a visual format, but either can't find an artist or isn't willing to work with someone else. In those cases, I simply say "shut up about how crappy the art is, you haven't had much practice and you don't absolutely suck". Because unlike me, there are plenty of people out there who will be fine artists once they have a couple hundred hours of practice under their belts. And most of beginning webcomic creators belong in that category.
But that does NOT excuse non-webcomic artists, of whom I am also a fan. Seriously, if you are going out of your way to upload things to, say, Deviant Art, you have no goddamn right to attack people who compliment you. At best, you're just fishing for compliments and for each time you bemoan your suckitude you get those who rush in to assure you that "oh, yes, it really is good". At worst you're mentally ill, in which case you really should be getting treatment.
So I will say it again. If you are a visual artist and you think your art is good enough to post online, SUCK IT UP AND ACCEPT THE GODDAMN COMPLIMENTS. I post links to my youtube recordings from November 2007 with the caveat that they aren't as good as I can currently sing, but I don't attack people for saying they're good. I accept their praise gratefully, because I know I'm a good singer. Likewise, if you post art on DA or another site, it is not only good manners to accept praise, it's your duty. You have made the statement, simply by posting it where others can see, that you are a decent artist. You may not be amazing, you may have many problems, you may not even be that good, but you at least admit to being decent. And it is thus an affront to my sensibilities for you to attack my praise. It's like being given a bouquet of flowers and stomping all over them.
Just stop it. Seriously. If I, who have the social graces of a half-starved porpoise, can manage to accept praise gracefully, it's the least you can do. It isn't that hard. It's either that or stop posting your art. *Shrug* Honestly, at this point, I don't even care which. If I get less pretties but also less "omg how can you guys actually like this utter shit I'm giving you", that's a win-win for me. There's always more art out there, after all.
EDIT: Let me clarify, just FYI, I am not speaking of any specific artist here. And I'm not trying to beat anyone down and make them stop posting. I just want everyone to realize that it's detrimental to everyone to be constantly putting themselves down.
A compliment is like a present. It's something that a person gives you because they want to, and telling them that they're wrong, or complaining about the thing they complimented, is like taking that nice sweater your aunt gave you and telling her it's the wrong color and size, and does she have no taste at all?
Of course, it was quite difficult for me. All I could see was the mistakes I had made, the things that went wrong, the way the house lights stayed up for two minutes after I started, or getting off track in the middle, or squeaking on the high note. I couldn't see the forest for the trees, because I was an artist, and artists are constantly seeking to improve themselves. Writers, painters, sculptors, musicians, all of us are constantly striving to eliminate the flaws in our work, whatever we see as flaws. It's a futile effort, of course, as many things are beyond our control (for singers, hormone imbalance and improper nutrition are usually our worst enemies) and it's simply impossible to be perfect, especially with anything as highly subjective as art.
But eventually, with a lot of effort, I gained the ability to simply say "thank you". I did not expound on my mistakes, or tell them that they were wrong, because I could and did sing better. I simply accepted their praise as the gift it was, well meant and usually heartfelt. And when I did perform well, when I was proud, it was like whipped cream on the cake, and when I hadn't done well, it was salve for my wounds. A reminder that even though I am my own harshest critic, and I can and do sing better, there is always a default level I will be better than, and that bar is being raised all the time. I am consistently better now than I was three years ago, and I was consistently better then than I'd been three years before that. And I'm a great deal better now than I was six years ago, even if I have a long way to go. It's hard to remember, when I'm in the practice room, when I spend hour after frustrating hour hammering out the transition between two or three notes, or getting the breathing set correctly, or perfectly my facial expressions to fit the mood of the piece. Those are the times when all I can see are my blinding failures. But after the performance, that is the time I get to step back and remember that oh yeah, I actually am very good at this, especially when laypeople who know nothing of technique say I was great or amazing. Of course, I treasure the professional opinions of my voice teachers more, much more. To hear them say they're proud is the best feeling in the world. Likewise with my mother, who, while having no vocal training of her own, has watched and listened to my voice mature until she can spot the merest inconsistencies. She is the only one I go to after a performance (along with my voice teacher) and say "did you hear how dry my throat was on that piece? I didn't like the tone of that other at all, I could've done better" and she invariably agrees, but she also says that I did well. Hers is a very balanced opinion, comparatively.
So, like getting rid of shyness and the ability to open my heart to people on stage, I learned to take compliments. Now, I could give the most gut wrenchingly mediocre (because really, at this point I couldn't sing that badly without serious effort) performance, and still smile and say thanks to anyone who might compliment me. Yes, I take it with salt, but I also take it with graciousness. If I feel like they're idiots for enjoying it or that I should crawl into a corner and die from sucking, I don't let on.
And I wish to god there was some equivalent system in place for visual artists. Because I can think of so many artists, just off the top of my head, who do gorgeous work, who've worked for years at it, and while not necessarily masters of the craft, are still damn fine at what they do. Their art is beautiful, well formed, polished, AND YET EVERY SINGLE DAMN ONE OF THEM ACTS LIKE A COMPLIMENT IS A TRAVESTY TO BE DISPROVEN.
Well, let me clarify. Male artists of a non-anime bent rarely have this problem. Female artists who have actually been to art school and/or had professional shows rarely have this problem. Wherein, I suppose, probably lies the difference. But even many professional artists seem to think that someone is going to come along any minute and go "YOU. What the HELL do you think you're doing here?! THIS IS NOT ART. BE GONE."
I can tell you, I am sick of it. I am sick of emailing webcomic artists, telling them how I like their art (or sometimes, how cute their art is, if it's still a bit rough) and getting a "well I don't know why you'd think that, but thanks" or even worse "no, it really is crap, but thanks for trying to make me feel better."
... WHAT. Okay, I've already shown you how insulting that is to me, because I went out of my way to compliment them and they stomped all over me. So let's talk about how fucking arrogant you have to be to act that way.
Oh yes, I said arrogant. Because if you really, truly believed that your art was crap, you wouldn't post it online. You would draw because you wanted to, but you would hide those drawings shamefully in a dark part of your room, perhaps under the bed, and never let anyone see them except possibly your mom or best friend.
Now, I will allow that certain webcomics can be the exception, because sometimes a person wants to write something for a visual format, but either can't find an artist or isn't willing to work with someone else. In those cases, I simply say "shut up about how crappy the art is, you haven't had much practice and you don't absolutely suck". Because unlike me, there are plenty of people out there who will be fine artists once they have a couple hundred hours of practice under their belts. And most of beginning webcomic creators belong in that category.
But that does NOT excuse non-webcomic artists, of whom I am also a fan. Seriously, if you are going out of your way to upload things to, say, Deviant Art, you have no goddamn right to attack people who compliment you. At best, you're just fishing for compliments and for each time you bemoan your suckitude you get those who rush in to assure you that "oh, yes, it really is good". At worst you're mentally ill, in which case you really should be getting treatment.
So I will say it again. If you are a visual artist and you think your art is good enough to post online, SUCK IT UP AND ACCEPT THE GODDAMN COMPLIMENTS. I post links to my youtube recordings from November 2007 with the caveat that they aren't as good as I can currently sing, but I don't attack people for saying they're good. I accept their praise gratefully, because I know I'm a good singer. Likewise, if you post art on DA or another site, it is not only good manners to accept praise, it's your duty. You have made the statement, simply by posting it where others can see, that you are a decent artist. You may not be amazing, you may have many problems, you may not even be that good, but you at least admit to being decent. And it is thus an affront to my sensibilities for you to attack my praise. It's like being given a bouquet of flowers and stomping all over them.
Just stop it. Seriously. If I, who have the social graces of a half-starved porpoise, can manage to accept praise gracefully, it's the least you can do. It isn't that hard. It's either that or stop posting your art. *Shrug* Honestly, at this point, I don't even care which. If I get less pretties but also less "omg how can you guys actually like this utter shit I'm giving you", that's a win-win for me. There's always more art out there, after all.
EDIT: Let me clarify, just FYI, I am not speaking of any specific artist here. And I'm not trying to beat anyone down and make them stop posting. I just want everyone to realize that it's detrimental to everyone to be constantly putting themselves down.