(no subject)
ok well today really sucked.
1st reason is Josh: josh and I missed the bus this morning cause he wouldn't wake up. i told him to get up like always but he ignored me and kept sleeping so when we got a ride from kristin he was yelling at me because i didn't wake him like. like its my responsibility to wake him up in the morning. but i do it anyways cause im a nice sister...most of the time.
then this afternoon he asked what time it was cause he had to go to work soon and i told him 4:30. but i guess he didn't hear me so he kept playing his game. then my mother yelled at him cause he was late and he yelled at us because we didn't tell him what time it was. HE PISSES ME OFF SOOO MUCH!
2nd reason: when i got to school today liz and lindsey told me that sam was flirting with Corinne at the concert last night. and when Lindsey asked him if he was he said "im not trying to". that kind of pissed me off that he was. and because i have a huge fear that he still likes her. i mean she was his first love so it wouldn't surprise me if he did.
3rd reason: BRIAN BUTTS LIKES ME! eww. he told liz and brenda that he liked me. and he told liz that he would try to get me back but he knows that i wouldn't go out with him ever again. that and im dating sam. i would never dump sam over another guy. i love sam. and he went though that pain once before and i would never want to put him through it again. that and im afraid of his family. (his mother mostly)lol
4th reason: i didn't do my french project that was due last week so Mrs. Melville called me up in the beginning pf class and told me that because i didn't do it i failed for the term. and she was going to call my mother and and tell her i was failing and why. so i went back at the end of class and tried telling her i dont understand anything when it comes to french and she said that was bull. that i just dont do the work and that is why i dont understand it.
So pretty much on my way to 5th period i began to cry. Lindsey saw me and asked if i wanted to go to the bathroom. on the way there i started to cry harder and she stopped to get liz and they met me there. As soon as i got in the bathroom i started crying soo hard. i could barely breath i was crying so hard. im glad no one was in the bathroom cause i was kind of loud. liz and lindsey came and i told them about french and everything and they helped me. i was in there for like 20 minutes at least. by the time i left my face was all red and i looked horrible. everyone was looking at me. :(
so we went back to mrs. melville and she said if i do it tonight then she wont call me mother. liz is going to come over and help me. thank god. i love them so much now.lol well i did before but if i didn't have them i dont know what i would have done. probably kill myself. Take a bunch of pills and just die. i have thought about that a lot the past few years but something is always keeping me from doing it. My Friends.
but im still living. and im going to keep living. to prove to myself that i can do it. i can make my dreams come true and i can live my life the way i want to.
one more thing. i have been fighting with my step dad a lot lately. he is really starting to piss me off. :/
1st reason is Josh: josh and I missed the bus this morning cause he wouldn't wake up. i told him to get up like always but he ignored me and kept sleeping so when we got a ride from kristin he was yelling at me because i didn't wake him like. like its my responsibility to wake him up in the morning. but i do it anyways cause im a nice sister...most of the time.
then this afternoon he asked what time it was cause he had to go to work soon and i told him 4:30. but i guess he didn't hear me so he kept playing his game. then my mother yelled at him cause he was late and he yelled at us because we didn't tell him what time it was. HE PISSES ME OFF SOOO MUCH!
2nd reason: when i got to school today liz and lindsey told me that sam was flirting with Corinne at the concert last night. and when Lindsey asked him if he was he said "im not trying to". that kind of pissed me off that he was. and because i have a huge fear that he still likes her. i mean she was his first love so it wouldn't surprise me if he did.
3rd reason: BRIAN BUTTS LIKES ME! eww. he told liz and brenda that he liked me. and he told liz that he would try to get me back but he knows that i wouldn't go out with him ever again. that and im dating sam. i would never dump sam over another guy. i love sam. and he went though that pain once before and i would never want to put him through it again. that and im afraid of his family. (his mother mostly)lol
4th reason: i didn't do my french project that was due last week so Mrs. Melville called me up in the beginning pf class and told me that because i didn't do it i failed for the term. and she was going to call my mother and and tell her i was failing and why. so i went back at the end of class and tried telling her i dont understand anything when it comes to french and she said that was bull. that i just dont do the work and that is why i dont understand it.
So pretty much on my way to 5th period i began to cry. Lindsey saw me and asked if i wanted to go to the bathroom. on the way there i started to cry harder and she stopped to get liz and they met me there. As soon as i got in the bathroom i started crying soo hard. i could barely breath i was crying so hard. im glad no one was in the bathroom cause i was kind of loud. liz and lindsey came and i told them about french and everything and they helped me. i was in there for like 20 minutes at least. by the time i left my face was all red and i looked horrible. everyone was looking at me. :(
so we went back to mrs. melville and she said if i do it tonight then she wont call me mother. liz is going to come over and help me. thank god. i love them so much now.lol well i did before but if i didn't have them i dont know what i would have done. probably kill myself. Take a bunch of pills and just die. i have thought about that a lot the past few years but something is always keeping me from doing it. My Friends.
but im still living. and im going to keep living. to prove to myself that i can do it. i can make my dreams come true and i can live my life the way i want to.
one more thing. i have been fighting with my step dad a lot lately. he is really starting to piss me off. :/