It's difficult to forgive and harder to forget
When you realise that you forgive for yourself not for the benefit of the other person.
It's not about saying it to them, it's not about you letting them get away with whatever they did, it is not giving in or being a soft touch, it is not you saying that what they did was right. It's not about them and it is not for their benefit.
When all the pain and upset has subsided you will be able to think more clearly. Hating somebody who has wronged you in the past is very tiresome. It takes a lot of energy and can make you quite bitter about things. So you have a choice. You can either carry on as you are or decided enough is enough. You decide to let it go and leave it in the past where it belongs. You choose not to let the past take over your life and while you will never completely forget, you mentally draw a line under things. You stop thinking about it decide to be happy instead. This is forgiveness. And you do it for yourself because you cannot move on otherwise.
It's not about saying it to them, it's not about you letting them get away with whatever they did, it is not giving in or being a soft touch, it is not you saying that what they did was right. It's not about them and it is not for their benefit.
When all the pain and upset has subsided you will be able to think more clearly. Hating somebody who has wronged you in the past is very tiresome. It takes a lot of energy and can make you quite bitter about things. So you have a choice. You can either carry on as you are or decided enough is enough. You decide to let it go and leave it in the past where it belongs. You choose not to let the past take over your life and while you will never completely forget, you mentally draw a line under things. You stop thinking about it decide to be happy instead. This is forgiveness. And you do it for yourself because you cannot move on otherwise.