weakness
I feel so bad today. It feels so hopeless. But I know the problem is me. I love her so much. In the past I always had hope. Today, I dont know. I feel alone. I want to be with her but at the same time I am really scared by the fact I love her so much. I don't know why I am hurting so much today. My heart really is still with her. I hope she is ok. This morning I got on the train. It was heading to her town. Its the first time Ive seen a train go to her town from here. But I didn't stay on. I got off at bham new st. I look for symbolism in stuff. And I felt as if I should stay on the train and go up to visit her. Last weekend in a text message she said she wants to meet up. But it will be so painful. The worst way to miss someone is to sit right next to them and know you can never be with them. It feels so bad. I dont want her to see me as this. I am so weak. I am pretty sure and I hope she will never read this. Because it shows my weakness. Loving her. Its scary caring about someone so much.