Have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry..
I miss Cookie.
I have't really thought about him but..
you know when you hear a song and it just jogs your memory?
Well a lot of songs do that to me for cookie
BUT only a few really make me upset.
We were great together,
while it lasted.
We got along perfectly... I mean yeah we fought
but who doesn't.
&& they weren't huge fights.
He always came back to apologize.
I look back on our conversations and they make me both happy & sad.
They make me laugh because he ALWAYS made me laugh,
& they make me sad because I can never have that again.
to EVERYONE he never spoke..
I mean some of his best friends rarely heard him talk.
But not to me.
I mean at first... we were both very shy
Until maybe the first 2 weeks.
After that I couln't get him to shut-up.
Nobody believed me but that's fine.
He made me smile like no one in this world ever has.
When I think about this.. I start to HATE Ryan.
I mean sure, not EVERYTHING is his fault but that's open for interpretation.
Ryan had his mind set on hating me and not letting cookie go out with me.
It's just too bad for me that Ryan is an excellent manipulator.
It's been a little over a year since me & cookie.
& I guess I just can't move on.
I don't know why.
I think about him at least once every day but
it doesn't upset me anymore
Until I get to that one certain night when it all hits me again
&& it feels like just yesterday that he hurt me.
I'm not going to sit here and say this is the worst I've ever felt..
because it's not.
But it is a pretty unbearable pain.
I wouldn't wish these feelings upon ANYBODY.
Not even Sam.
Not even Cookie.
=/
I've pretty much moved on, but there will always be those feelings for him that I can never get rid of and those feelings that every now and then hit me like a train and make me feel horrible.
Honestly, I feel rediculous rambling about this.. but I don't have anyone to talk to about him.
Like I said.. it's been a year now so everyone is pretty much completely sick of hearing me talk about him for a year now.
I guess that is why I talk about him on here.
One day though....
One day I will be able to talk about him with a smile on my face and talk about how happy I am that we met and shared a wonderful time together and how happy I am that he found someone else.
Until then though.. I will just rant & rave about him on here.
I have't really thought about him but..
you know when you hear a song and it just jogs your memory?
Well a lot of songs do that to me for cookie
BUT only a few really make me upset.
We were great together,
while it lasted.
We got along perfectly... I mean yeah we fought
but who doesn't.
&& they weren't huge fights.
He always came back to apologize.
I look back on our conversations and they make me both happy & sad.
They make me laugh because he ALWAYS made me laugh,
& they make me sad because I can never have that again.
to EVERYONE he never spoke..
I mean some of his best friends rarely heard him talk.
But not to me.
I mean at first... we were both very shy
Until maybe the first 2 weeks.
After that I couln't get him to shut-up.
Nobody believed me but that's fine.
He made me smile like no one in this world ever has.
When I think about this.. I start to HATE Ryan.
I mean sure, not EVERYTHING is his fault but that's open for interpretation.
Ryan had his mind set on hating me and not letting cookie go out with me.
It's just too bad for me that Ryan is an excellent manipulator.
It's been a little over a year since me & cookie.
& I guess I just can't move on.
I don't know why.
I think about him at least once every day but
it doesn't upset me anymore
Until I get to that one certain night when it all hits me again
&& it feels like just yesterday that he hurt me.
I'm not going to sit here and say this is the worst I've ever felt..
because it's not.
But it is a pretty unbearable pain.
I wouldn't wish these feelings upon ANYBODY.
Not even Sam.
Not even Cookie.
=/
I've pretty much moved on, but there will always be those feelings for him that I can never get rid of and those feelings that every now and then hit me like a train and make me feel horrible.
Honestly, I feel rediculous rambling about this.. but I don't have anyone to talk to about him.
Like I said.. it's been a year now so everyone is pretty much completely sick of hearing me talk about him for a year now.
I guess that is why I talk about him on here.
One day though....
One day I will be able to talk about him with a smile on my face and talk about how happy I am that we met and shared a wonderful time together and how happy I am that he found someone else.
Until then though.. I will just rant & rave about him on here.