Savior
Last night I found out all the dirty details I was searching from stupid. I regret a little bit asking all those millions of questions, but now it all makes sense. He's been into drugs and basically got caught in the wrong place at the wrong time being entirely stupid. I'm pissed off and ridiculously disappointed, but at the same time in a sick way I understand. I know his reasoning for turning down that particular road, I do not at all agree with it, but being a psych major for so long...I understand. I know it's easier to take a substance and forget all the bullshit you can't stand, but it doesn't permanently delete it. It's a shitty temporary fix, he realizes all this now and is in bad shape towards getting better. He's trying which is all I can ask.
"So tell me now, if this ain't love then how do we get out?"
I did make it painfully clear that should he turn back down that road, I promised he'd never EVER hear from me again and not to doubt me on it. I have a lot of patience for the people I care about, but that's one thing I can only tolerant so much before I say fuck it. I don't need nor desire that extra stress, I'm having a hard enough time now bearing to think you did that once, let's not make it a habit.
"Cause I don't know"
Overall the situation is in a slow way progressing. I am stressed and losing my mind with him, but in this particular scenario I think it's more important my selfishness takes a back seat in order to help someone else. I know a lot of you don't really agree with my logic, but you have to trust that I am a big girl and I am well aware now what I have gotten myself into. Just remember I love him, he's one of my best friends no matter what the situation and I made a promise to always be there for him. He kept his promise to me, I'm definitely not one to turn around now. So I'll say this once, if you have something negative to say about it, get it out now or keep it to yourself because this is my problem not yours.
"That's when she said I don't hate you boy, I just want to save you, while there's still something left to save"
Anyway. This past week has been stressful, but peaceful all at the same time. I went on quite a few adventures with some awesome people. I missed being able to just peace out whenever. Ash and I plan to hit up Rhode Island beaches every possible weekend in the summertime. This sounds more than amazing to me. I miss beach days so much, I went to Soundview last year at least twice a week, but only for sunset. It's rather obnoxious that once I start to be okay with things, everyone else isn't and they try to load it on me.
So I'll go over this again. I love my friends more than words could ever attempt to express...however...I am going through a series of strange shit. I don't want your girl drama unless you are Stina, Ambs, Chelle, Sara, Sheena or Steph. They have actual problems when they need to vent, not the he said she said bullshit I so hate. So shut up.
Alright, I'm going to go try to mellow out, I'm not gonna lie I am still pretty heated, confused and frustrated about all this stuff I walked into. What sucks the most is I'm more hurt and disappointed than anything else. I really hope everything turns out okay in the end for both of us.
"So tell me now, if this ain't love then how do we get out?"
I did make it painfully clear that should he turn back down that road, I promised he'd never EVER hear from me again and not to doubt me on it. I have a lot of patience for the people I care about, but that's one thing I can only tolerant so much before I say fuck it. I don't need nor desire that extra stress, I'm having a hard enough time now bearing to think you did that once, let's not make it a habit.
"Cause I don't know"
Overall the situation is in a slow way progressing. I am stressed and losing my mind with him, but in this particular scenario I think it's more important my selfishness takes a back seat in order to help someone else. I know a lot of you don't really agree with my logic, but you have to trust that I am a big girl and I am well aware now what I have gotten myself into. Just remember I love him, he's one of my best friends no matter what the situation and I made a promise to always be there for him. He kept his promise to me, I'm definitely not one to turn around now. So I'll say this once, if you have something negative to say about it, get it out now or keep it to yourself because this is my problem not yours.
"That's when she said I don't hate you boy, I just want to save you, while there's still something left to save"
Anyway. This past week has been stressful, but peaceful all at the same time. I went on quite a few adventures with some awesome people. I missed being able to just peace out whenever. Ash and I plan to hit up Rhode Island beaches every possible weekend in the summertime. This sounds more than amazing to me. I miss beach days so much, I went to Soundview last year at least twice a week, but only for sunset. It's rather obnoxious that once I start to be okay with things, everyone else isn't and they try to load it on me.
So I'll go over this again. I love my friends more than words could ever attempt to express...however...I am going through a series of strange shit. I don't want your girl drama unless you are Stina, Ambs, Chelle, Sara, Sheena or Steph. They have actual problems when they need to vent, not the he said she said bullshit I so hate. So shut up.
Alright, I'm going to go try to mellow out, I'm not gonna lie I am still pretty heated, confused and frustrated about all this stuff I walked into. What sucks the most is I'm more hurt and disappointed than anything else. I really hope everything turns out okay in the end for both of us.