Where the sidewalk ends.
Can lovers turn into friends? This is a question that I have been forced to ask myself lately. I am not talking about casual boyfriends or friends with benefits. These are connections that have more potential to become a lasting friendship. No, I am talking about the person that you date, you really connect to, you fall in love with, you in vision spending the rest of your life with and then something happens. Things don’t work out, for one reason or another and you get your heart broken. Can this kind of relationship ever turn into a meaningful friendship?
The connection of lovers is one that entails the deepest friendship imaginable, but the kind of friendship that is based on a strong connection of soul and body; A truly passionate connection. This connection is severed with the split of the couple and what remains is everything and nothing at all. The friendship must be built anew on completely different grounds, in theory. But what if you can’t let go of the previous connection? What if that previous connection can’t let go of you? If you still love them in the deep sense of a lover? If a touch from them still makes you want their body? If you still feel like your souls are connected? Then things are complicated.
It has crossed my mind that in these situations maybe it is personal strength that would make a continued relationship, in the form of a friendship, a possibility. Maybe if you can will yourself not to think of them as a lover, but as a friend. If you can find the strength to relate to them as a buddy. But are you not then undermining the deeper connection that is still there?
I’ve always believed that a friendship is possible after a breakup, but this has always been in theory. For in fact I have never been in a relationship that has successfully turned into a friendship. And I am starting to come to the conclusion that lovers don’t turn into friends, but rather lovers turn into lovers that you are no longer sleeping with.
The connection of lovers is one that entails the deepest friendship imaginable, but the kind of friendship that is based on a strong connection of soul and body; A truly passionate connection. This connection is severed with the split of the couple and what remains is everything and nothing at all. The friendship must be built anew on completely different grounds, in theory. But what if you can’t let go of the previous connection? What if that previous connection can’t let go of you? If you still love them in the deep sense of a lover? If a touch from them still makes you want their body? If you still feel like your souls are connected? Then things are complicated.
It has crossed my mind that in these situations maybe it is personal strength that would make a continued relationship, in the form of a friendship, a possibility. Maybe if you can will yourself not to think of them as a lover, but as a friend. If you can find the strength to relate to them as a buddy. But are you not then undermining the deeper connection that is still there?
I’ve always believed that a friendship is possible after a breakup, but this has always been in theory. For in fact I have never been in a relationship that has successfully turned into a friendship. And I am starting to come to the conclusion that lovers don’t turn into friends, but rather lovers turn into lovers that you are no longer sleeping with.