Fic
Title: In Loving Memory
Pairing: Patrick/Peter
Part: Standalone
Author: Kirst_x
Rating: PG/13
Summary: Patrick thinks of his Peter
Disclaimer: I don’t own. Never Have. Never will.
Dedications: To anyone who reads
N.B. Based on the song In Loving Memory by Alter Bridge.
Lyrics can be found here…
In Loving Memory
My dearest Peter Pan,
I’m writing this to thank you. Ever since I’ve known you, you’ve been there for me. You’ve been gone for so long now, and I can’t help but miss you. Your departure has struck everyone so hard, your family, the guys, the fans, but mostly me.
You’re still with us though in our hearts, you live in us all. I feel like you’re around most of the time. It’s weird. I can still hear your voice telling jokes, and your laugh. It feels unreal to look around and realise you’re not there. You’re there guiding us all, constantly. Sometimes they don’t need it. I do though. Will you guide me?
I never realised what it was like, being alone. You were always there, waiting. You’d always wait for me. I remember the day we finally admitted our love for each other. You knew I’d never gone further than making out with someone. You waited for me then, until I was ready. You were my first, and my only.
I walk inside our apartment. It’s full of everything we’ve collected over the years, yet it feels so empty. I remember we’d moved in together just a few moths after my first time. That was the day that I realised I’d be with you forever. I guess forever wasn’t as long as I’d thought.
I miss walking in to see you sat in a chair watching some cartoon on cartoon network while I went to the groceries for some milk or something. I miss waking up to find you hovering over me smiling, thinking back to the previous night, that we’d spent up showing each other how strong our love really was.
I sit down in ‘your chair’ and close my eyes for a second. It smells of… you. I see you stood there before me, although my eyes are still firmly closed. I reach out to touch you, but you’re not there. I have to remind myself you’re never coming home. You’re a part of me. I know that cause that first time we made love, was the day I gave my heart away.
I flick through notebooks that you’ve written songs in over the past few years. I know I shouldn’t, they’re yours, but you’re not here anymore. They keep me going, they set me free. There’s one I sing when I feel I can’t go on. I singing it now, it comforts me.
I know it’s stupid to possess over you like this. I just can’t help it. I carry you’re favourite plectrum, I don’t know how you can have a ‘favourite’ plectrum. You always told me it gave you inspiration to write. I never understood you when you told me that.
I also carry a picture that was taken in England while we were touring. You’d begged and pleaded Andy to take it for you cause you ‘couldn’t kiss and take a photograph at the same time’. He finally gave in and agreed to take it as long as we didn’t do the ‘sex thing’ in front of him. I remember blushing to that comment while you just laughed it off.
You we’re so kind to everyone, your fans, to us. Whenever we were down, you’d pull a stunt or prank on someone to try and make us laugh. All I needed was to see you’re smile and I’d be happy again. You had that power over me.
You mean everything to me Pete. I hope you understand that. I know you’re gone, and you’re never coming back. I can’t seem to let you go. I just don’t want to.
I’m glad you’re away from it all though. Free from all this pain everything around you has caused. Even the pain I’ve caused. I love you so much. I’ll always love you more tomorrow. You’re still here inside.
Everything you did, you put so much feeling, energy and effort into. I remember the days you used to come off stage knackered cause you’d jumped around too much and the adrenaline had worn off the moment you stepped off stage.
Thank you for leaving me with so many good memories to share. I love you so much. and I miss you still.
Yours forever
Patrick
x
In loving memory of
Peter Lewis Kingston Wentz
June 5th, 1979 - January 24 2012
A wonderful, son, brother and lover.
“I'll be your best kept secret
and your biggest mistake.”
Patrick placed his enveloped letter at the foot of Peter’s Gravestone. Tears leaked down his face as Andy and Joe looked on in the distance. Patrick sat staring at the gravestone of his lover in the middle of fall. Fall was always Peter’s favourite time of year. He loved the way the leaves fell from the trees and littered the floor with a contrast of different browns and reds. Patrick knew from now on things would never be the same again.
Pairing: Patrick/Peter
Part: Standalone
Author: Kirst_x
Rating: PG/13
Summary: Patrick thinks of his Peter
Disclaimer: I don’t own. Never Have. Never will.
Dedications: To anyone who reads
N.B. Based on the song In Loving Memory by Alter Bridge.
Lyrics can be found here…
In Loving Memory
My dearest Peter Pan,
I’m writing this to thank you. Ever since I’ve known you, you’ve been there for me. You’ve been gone for so long now, and I can’t help but miss you. Your departure has struck everyone so hard, your family, the guys, the fans, but mostly me.
You’re still with us though in our hearts, you live in us all. I feel like you’re around most of the time. It’s weird. I can still hear your voice telling jokes, and your laugh. It feels unreal to look around and realise you’re not there. You’re there guiding us all, constantly. Sometimes they don’t need it. I do though. Will you guide me?
I never realised what it was like, being alone. You were always there, waiting. You’d always wait for me. I remember the day we finally admitted our love for each other. You knew I’d never gone further than making out with someone. You waited for me then, until I was ready. You were my first, and my only.
I walk inside our apartment. It’s full of everything we’ve collected over the years, yet it feels so empty. I remember we’d moved in together just a few moths after my first time. That was the day that I realised I’d be with you forever. I guess forever wasn’t as long as I’d thought.
I miss walking in to see you sat in a chair watching some cartoon on cartoon network while I went to the groceries for some milk or something. I miss waking up to find you hovering over me smiling, thinking back to the previous night, that we’d spent up showing each other how strong our love really was.
I sit down in ‘your chair’ and close my eyes for a second. It smells of… you. I see you stood there before me, although my eyes are still firmly closed. I reach out to touch you, but you’re not there. I have to remind myself you’re never coming home. You’re a part of me. I know that cause that first time we made love, was the day I gave my heart away.
I flick through notebooks that you’ve written songs in over the past few years. I know I shouldn’t, they’re yours, but you’re not here anymore. They keep me going, they set me free. There’s one I sing when I feel I can’t go on. I singing it now, it comforts me.
I know it’s stupid to possess over you like this. I just can’t help it. I carry you’re favourite plectrum, I don’t know how you can have a ‘favourite’ plectrum. You always told me it gave you inspiration to write. I never understood you when you told me that.
I also carry a picture that was taken in England while we were touring. You’d begged and pleaded Andy to take it for you cause you ‘couldn’t kiss and take a photograph at the same time’. He finally gave in and agreed to take it as long as we didn’t do the ‘sex thing’ in front of him. I remember blushing to that comment while you just laughed it off.
You we’re so kind to everyone, your fans, to us. Whenever we were down, you’d pull a stunt or prank on someone to try and make us laugh. All I needed was to see you’re smile and I’d be happy again. You had that power over me.
You mean everything to me Pete. I hope you understand that. I know you’re gone, and you’re never coming back. I can’t seem to let you go. I just don’t want to.
I’m glad you’re away from it all though. Free from all this pain everything around you has caused. Even the pain I’ve caused. I love you so much. I’ll always love you more tomorrow. You’re still here inside.
Everything you did, you put so much feeling, energy and effort into. I remember the days you used to come off stage knackered cause you’d jumped around too much and the adrenaline had worn off the moment you stepped off stage.
Thank you for leaving me with so many good memories to share. I love you so much. and I miss you still.
Yours forever
Patrick
x
In loving memory of
Peter Lewis Kingston Wentz
June 5th, 1979 - January 24 2012
A wonderful, son, brother and lover.
“I'll be your best kept secret
and your biggest mistake.”
Patrick placed his enveloped letter at the foot of Peter’s Gravestone. Tears leaked down his face as Andy and Joe looked on in the distance. Patrick sat staring at the gravestone of his lover in the middle of fall. Fall was always Peter’s favourite time of year. He loved the way the leaves fell from the trees and littered the floor with a contrast of different browns and reds. Patrick knew from now on things would never be the same again.