WHY I WISH I COULD RUN AWAY
I really, really, really, really, hate it when my parents fight.
They do it, like, ALL THE TIME. And always makes me feel so useless and small and sad and miserable. Every. Single. Time.
I. HATE. IT.
I really wish they would stop, or confine it to the bedroom, or something. Just once I wish they could go without fighting for a day.
That my dad would actually do the things he's supossed to do, the things he says he'll do, that he would clean the house, get medicene, do SOMETHING instead of read and sleep while he's home alone while me and my sisters go to school, and my mom goes to work.
I wish that my mom would let up and stop ordering us around. That she wouldn't be such a control freak, that she'd let up, that she wouldn't yell when I get something wrong.
Sometimes even wish my dad would get a job.
And it doesn't help that 've had a migraine for the last seven hours, that I'm still not finished my homework, that I've been sick for the last week, that school is so stressful, that I need to take a shower, that I just got home from a two day drive last night, that the school year is ending and the pressure is on to do well, to not slack, to 'keep up the good work'.
And my birthday's (well, me and my triplets birthday) are coming up this weekend and it's makin' me anxious. Another year older and what not. and at the moment it's 11:25 pm. school tomorrow.
And if all this fighting is effecting me the most emotionally stunted of we three, so bad, I can't even begin to imagine the effect it's got on my sisters.
God, I wish they'd just stop.
And they can't even go somewhere else to do it, because the walls of this house are so thin, you can hear anything from anywhere.
And my insomnia's acting up again. And I can't paint flower gardens.
God, I just want to be safe inside my own head.
jack