[A Perfect World] -- [George's Dream, Kirk's Meld]
Things came in little pieces. First it was a cut of yellow light across his vision, solidifying into a beam of sunlight. Beyond it, wooden planks, soft with age. His gaze dropped, and he stared down at the floor. Bits of hay, slow floating dust motes on the air. The scent of animal and hay and dust and home hit him harder then a phaser, and Kirk looked around slowly. He was in a barn, and he wasn't alone.
For a second, he didn't even recognize the man. Then, it kicked him in the head. Dad?! Yea, there was George, age .. old as hell. Staring at a brown horse with a black mane and a star on her forehead.
George eyed Zulu wryly. "You know that's not gonna work, so just stop holding your breath. I haven't fallen for that since your grandsire used to try that on me before my kids were born." He gave the obnoxious horse a stern poke in the side and then tightened the saddle. He checked the tack over once more, to make sure it was all on securely. An afternoon ride was just what the doctor ordered.
Kirk almost spoke up with that, wanting to call out to his father, but bit his tongue. What's going on? Where am I? I didn't know Dad had owned a horse. He watched George leaving the barn, and followed slowly. He didn't exactly what to get spotted. This is nothing like that meld with Spock.
George mounted Zulu as soon as they got out of the barn proper, and clucked to her, nudging her sides gently. "C'mon fearless one. Let's do a little training, okay beautiful?" He crooned to her as he headed for the riding ring to put her through her paces. He didn't feel like going for a full trail ride, just putting her through her paces, murmuring to her affectionately the entire time. She had as sweet a gait as her grandsire did when he was just learning to ride. He'd felt pretty honored when Chris let him ride old Tango way back then. There was just something about riding horses...something that big, allowing him to get on her, let him guide her...it was even better than anything that he'd ever piloted.
After a while, he noticed Jim watching him, and guided her up to the fence, with a carefree grin. "Heya Jimmy." Zulu nosed at Jim, expecting an apple from him.
"Dad, don't call me that." The words fell off his tongue easily, remembering their first meeting. He actually stepped back from the horse - these things bite, don't they?
"You're as bad as your mother with horses..." George laughed and shook his head, silver starting to peek through gold strands. "You get bit by one ornery horse, and suddenly they're all evil. C'mon, she's a sweetheart. She wouldn't hurt a fly unless the fly was hiding apples from her."
"I'm safer at least a foot away from her." And they kick. Bite and kick and can run faster then I can. He stared at his Dad, trying to understand what he was seeing. Why was George so old, here? He kinda hoped he looked that good when he was that old.
George just shook his head and dismounted. "Come keep me company while I brush her, and turn her out to hang out with her friends. Feel like I haven't gotten to see my second oldest son all leave." He kept a light touch on the reins, as he started to head for the barn. "I promise, I won't tell Nyota or Bones that the reason you haven't gone out riding is 'cause you're chicken shit." He teased Jim lightly, grinning hard. God, this was the life. He never wanted to leave.
Leave? So George was still in Starfleet? Kirk rolled his eyes at his father, "You only say that because you've been around them. Never was." But he followed, opposite side of the horse. ...Wait. Second... oldest son? That didn't make any sense.
"You've been around them too...when you could be bribed or coerced," George rolled his eyes. "Even if you prefer to block that out of your memory." He set about untacking Zulu, murmuring praises at her. "Did your Papa tell you Richard and Chrissie called? They're sorry they couldn't see their favorite big brothers but school's more important."
...Whut.
"Er... no?" What the fuck? Papa? Who... big brothers, siblings? Seriously, what the hell was going on here? "So... where's Papa?" The word fell flat from his lips in unfamiliarity.
"Last I saw he was helping your Grandma with paperwork," George shuddered. "I get enough of that as First officer of the Enterprise, I feel absolutely no need to do any here."
I don't have a grandmother. What the hell!.... WHAT? First officer. Then what the hell am I?! "You know me," He faked sort of easily, "I can't wait for shore leave, get antsy, and want to get back up into space."
George shook his head at Jim and laughed. "Get one medal for creative thinking and suddenly you're the seasoned Starfleet officer." He put the tack away and started to brush Zulu down. "Isn't he a silly son, Zulu?"
That didn't tell him much, damn. "I just can't stay on any planet for too long. Want to keep moving on."
"You're a Kirk," George grinned. "It's in your blood. I can't wait to get off, but I hate leaving here...it was my first real home...yours too, even if you were too little to remember." He knelt to clean Zulu's feet. "All little and premature, and I barely survived...we retreated back here, back to the ranch for the whole summer, all five of us."
Kirk had no clue what the hell George was talking about. "Mm, yea." So George had a big family, here. Something, he guessed, his father had always wanted. "What are ya planning to do for the rest of the day?" Had to figure out more. This was all wrong in a very weirdly right way.
"I didn't have any plans," George said as he finally got up and patted Zulu. "Time to go outside Zulu-girl. Show the rest of your friends what a beauty you are." He lead her towards the door to the corral and let her out. "Mostly I was intending to catch up on some linguistic journals I never have time for anymore, maybe go harass your mom or papa into going for a ride in Betsy. Your grandma's planning to make her cake this evening so I'm trying to work up a good appetite." He put away the brushes and other implements, and then walked out into the hot Mojave sun.
Fuck it was hot! Kirk blinked up at the sun for just a second and snorted at the heat. Hell. "Never get use to this." He muttered, thinking much more in the short term sense.
"I love it," George said. "And Spock seems to be enjoying himself too, from what I saw...minus when he got stung by the scorpion but that's scientists for you...always poking things in pursuit of knowledge...when you're Captain, you'll need to keep an eye on that habit of his or Bones will be twice as cranky as he usually is."
He wasn't Captain? Then what the fuck did he do? This was getting weirder by the minute. That left only one man as possible Captain and... click.
Pike. Pike had to be this mysterious 'Papa'. There was no way he was going to be able to call Pike of all people by that name. Well... if he hadn't become Captain, he was being trained for tactical. "Yea." He agreed, realizing he hadn't replied to his father. So, if George was first officer, Spock was probably still chief science officer. Was Bones still CMO or was... shit, Kirk wasn't even sure who Bones had taken over the position from off the top of his head.
"I don't think this crew could have been put together without your help," George admitted. "It was nice, having my own student spy. Captain Tucker was bitching about that when he called your Papa last week." He shook his head, still laughing. "If his XO had spent the last twenty five years teaching, and he'd done four years himself, along with a son who was actually a student and could ferret out the best students that way..."
It was a family effort and possibly the best one yet, besides raising four great kids anyway. "It's gonna be a wrench, when your Papa, me, and your Mom wind up having to build our crew up again after the Enterprise goes to you, but... that's what we get for raising an amazing kid."
"And a good officer," George added as an afterthought.
There was a strange clench in his stomach. His family... his mother, father, and evidently Pike at least... what about Sam? They were all serving on the Enterprise with him. How old was he here? If he got a chance to look in a mirror or something reflective, he'd take a second to look. What if he did look older? Wasn't sure how he'd handle that. "...bastard, stop being such a flirt." He teased easily, even in the weird situation.
George tapped Jim on the head and rolled his eyes. "Just take compliments Jimmy. It's not like I get to give them to you on the ship anyway."
Kirk swatted at the tap, "Don't call me that." He muttered again, but refraining from commenting on the second part. ...I have to make him realize what's going on. "Hey, dad? You wanna go for a walk?"
"Finally ready to spend some time with your old man?" George asked lazily, stretching upwards. "Where do you want to go?" Felt like the whole world was just the ranch sometimes. It was nice. Also, he hadn't had many rambles with Jim since Jim started the Academy and was too grown up to wander around with his old man.
"Anywhere. Just somewhere we can talk for a bit?" Kirk asked, knowing it would be hard to impossible if someone else showed up.
"Of course," George nodded and lead the way out to the far end of the pasture down by a tree that the boys used to climb. He climbed up onto the fence, and looked over the pasture and the horses with a happy, contented smile. No one would come bother them out here.
Kirk followed, sitting on the fence as well. He looked out over everything, then to his father. "...is this everything you ever wanted, Dad?" He asked rather bluntly.
"About as close as is reasonable," George admitted with a smile. "I got you, your mom, you papa, your brothers and your sister...I got a job I love and folks who're near as family, who'll take care of you even when I'm not there to do it."
A slow lick of his lips, and Kirk steeled himself. "What if I told you... it wasn't true? That this... was all a lie?"
"Son?" George turned to face Jim squarely. "What's going on in that head of yours?"
Kirk gestured out over the area in front of them. "This. All of it. It's a lie. None of its true."
"It's all true," George shook his head, almost violently. "We're home, kiddo. Safe and home and happy."
"Dad, you're on the Enterprise. You're almost brain dead. Mom and Pike are sitting at your bedside, watching you die." His fingers tightened on the fence.
"Did you get knocked upside the head?" George reached out to feel Jim's head worriedly. It couldn't be true after all. To that, Kirk didn't say anything at all. He just grabbed George's wrist and squeezed it, giving him a long, tired look. He was so tired, so very tired. He just wanted to go back to sleep, but he had this job, first. He had to get back the father he had lost, finish bringing him home. He had tried to take the worst of it from the Romulans, but in the end George's pain would be far worse.
George just studied his son, and sighed, looking down. He'd...something hadn't felt right here but..."Son?"
"...I know it isn't perfect like this, Dad... but... do you really wanna be here and let us watch you die? You fought so hard... but can you fight against everything perfect? Can you go back to what's not perfect but real?" Kirk's voice caught, just slightly. He was terrible at this sort of stuff.
"Why should I?" George asked. Bits...hazy bits were starting to feed back through him. Not all of them were pleasant either...not like here. Here was nice, was right.
"Well, last I assumed, you loved your family. I figured that was a pretty good reason to fight." Kirk said quietly, wanting to reach out and shake some sense into his father. George just stared down at his hands. He liked it here. It was easy here. Why did he have to come and make things not easy? "..Don't want to see you die, Dad. Don't want to see you turn into some... some vegetable. That's what everyone always said about you, that you were a fighter."
Kirk got off the fence, looking out towards the horses. "...Life was never perfect for me. In fact, this sort of scares the shit out of me." His lips quirked, and he looked to George again. "You're the only family I've got. ...I need you, you know."
George took a deep breath and looked out over the field, over this life of his. "You really need me, son?"
"Yea." It was hard to admit, harder then most would have realized. "I do."
George slipped off the fence and held out his hand to Jim. Something that was true hopefully in all the realities out there, both real and created, was that he would do anything to help his kids. "I don't know the way out, so you're gonna have to help me that far."
"Not entirely sure of the way out, either. Just sort of hoping that Spock knows to get us out of here. Use me like a life-line." Kirk reached out and grasped his father's hand. It was warm (not the freezing cold he had touched moments before), so he gave a tiny smile and pulled George forward into a hug. "Wasn't a time I didn't need you, Dad."
George held Jim in a tight embrace. "Not a time when I'm not going to watch out for you, son. Which Spock do we have on the other end of the line?" Memories were coming fast and furious now, invading this space. The physical contact helped some. "We're home?"
"My Spock." The answer came easily, then Kirk frowned a little. ...He isn't mine. He shook the thought out of his head, and looked up at the sky.
Spock, get us out of here.
For a second, he didn't even recognize the man. Then, it kicked him in the head. Dad?! Yea, there was George, age .. old as hell. Staring at a brown horse with a black mane and a star on her forehead.
George eyed Zulu wryly. "You know that's not gonna work, so just stop holding your breath. I haven't fallen for that since your grandsire used to try that on me before my kids were born." He gave the obnoxious horse a stern poke in the side and then tightened the saddle. He checked the tack over once more, to make sure it was all on securely. An afternoon ride was just what the doctor ordered.
Kirk almost spoke up with that, wanting to call out to his father, but bit his tongue. What's going on? Where am I? I didn't know Dad had owned a horse. He watched George leaving the barn, and followed slowly. He didn't exactly what to get spotted. This is nothing like that meld with Spock.
George mounted Zulu as soon as they got out of the barn proper, and clucked to her, nudging her sides gently. "C'mon fearless one. Let's do a little training, okay beautiful?" He crooned to her as he headed for the riding ring to put her through her paces. He didn't feel like going for a full trail ride, just putting her through her paces, murmuring to her affectionately the entire time. She had as sweet a gait as her grandsire did when he was just learning to ride. He'd felt pretty honored when Chris let him ride old Tango way back then. There was just something about riding horses...something that big, allowing him to get on her, let him guide her...it was even better than anything that he'd ever piloted.
After a while, he noticed Jim watching him, and guided her up to the fence, with a carefree grin. "Heya Jimmy." Zulu nosed at Jim, expecting an apple from him.
"Dad, don't call me that." The words fell off his tongue easily, remembering their first meeting. He actually stepped back from the horse - these things bite, don't they?
"You're as bad as your mother with horses..." George laughed and shook his head, silver starting to peek through gold strands. "You get bit by one ornery horse, and suddenly they're all evil. C'mon, she's a sweetheart. She wouldn't hurt a fly unless the fly was hiding apples from her."
"I'm safer at least a foot away from her." And they kick. Bite and kick and can run faster then I can. He stared at his Dad, trying to understand what he was seeing. Why was George so old, here? He kinda hoped he looked that good when he was that old.
George just shook his head and dismounted. "Come keep me company while I brush her, and turn her out to hang out with her friends. Feel like I haven't gotten to see my second oldest son all leave." He kept a light touch on the reins, as he started to head for the barn. "I promise, I won't tell Nyota or Bones that the reason you haven't gone out riding is 'cause you're chicken shit." He teased Jim lightly, grinning hard. God, this was the life. He never wanted to leave.
Leave? So George was still in Starfleet? Kirk rolled his eyes at his father, "You only say that because you've been around them. Never was." But he followed, opposite side of the horse. ...Wait. Second... oldest son? That didn't make any sense.
"You've been around them too...when you could be bribed or coerced," George rolled his eyes. "Even if you prefer to block that out of your memory." He set about untacking Zulu, murmuring praises at her. "Did your Papa tell you Richard and Chrissie called? They're sorry they couldn't see their favorite big brothers but school's more important."
...Whut.
"Er... no?" What the fuck? Papa? Who... big brothers, siblings? Seriously, what the hell was going on here? "So... where's Papa?" The word fell flat from his lips in unfamiliarity.
"Last I saw he was helping your Grandma with paperwork," George shuddered. "I get enough of that as First officer of the Enterprise, I feel absolutely no need to do any here."
I don't have a grandmother. What the hell!.... WHAT? First officer. Then what the hell am I?! "You know me," He faked sort of easily, "I can't wait for shore leave, get antsy, and want to get back up into space."
George shook his head at Jim and laughed. "Get one medal for creative thinking and suddenly you're the seasoned Starfleet officer." He put the tack away and started to brush Zulu down. "Isn't he a silly son, Zulu?"
That didn't tell him much, damn. "I just can't stay on any planet for too long. Want to keep moving on."
"You're a Kirk," George grinned. "It's in your blood. I can't wait to get off, but I hate leaving here...it was my first real home...yours too, even if you were too little to remember." He knelt to clean Zulu's feet. "All little and premature, and I barely survived...we retreated back here, back to the ranch for the whole summer, all five of us."
Kirk had no clue what the hell George was talking about. "Mm, yea." So George had a big family, here. Something, he guessed, his father had always wanted. "What are ya planning to do for the rest of the day?" Had to figure out more. This was all wrong in a very weirdly right way.
"I didn't have any plans," George said as he finally got up and patted Zulu. "Time to go outside Zulu-girl. Show the rest of your friends what a beauty you are." He lead her towards the door to the corral and let her out. "Mostly I was intending to catch up on some linguistic journals I never have time for anymore, maybe go harass your mom or papa into going for a ride in Betsy. Your grandma's planning to make her cake this evening so I'm trying to work up a good appetite." He put away the brushes and other implements, and then walked out into the hot Mojave sun.
Fuck it was hot! Kirk blinked up at the sun for just a second and snorted at the heat. Hell. "Never get use to this." He muttered, thinking much more in the short term sense.
"I love it," George said. "And Spock seems to be enjoying himself too, from what I saw...minus when he got stung by the scorpion but that's scientists for you...always poking things in pursuit of knowledge...when you're Captain, you'll need to keep an eye on that habit of his or Bones will be twice as cranky as he usually is."
He wasn't Captain? Then what the fuck did he do? This was getting weirder by the minute. That left only one man as possible Captain and... click.
Pike. Pike had to be this mysterious 'Papa'. There was no way he was going to be able to call Pike of all people by that name. Well... if he hadn't become Captain, he was being trained for tactical. "Yea." He agreed, realizing he hadn't replied to his father. So, if George was first officer, Spock was probably still chief science officer. Was Bones still CMO or was... shit, Kirk wasn't even sure who Bones had taken over the position from off the top of his head.
"I don't think this crew could have been put together without your help," George admitted. "It was nice, having my own student spy. Captain Tucker was bitching about that when he called your Papa last week." He shook his head, still laughing. "If his XO had spent the last twenty five years teaching, and he'd done four years himself, along with a son who was actually a student and could ferret out the best students that way..."
It was a family effort and possibly the best one yet, besides raising four great kids anyway. "It's gonna be a wrench, when your Papa, me, and your Mom wind up having to build our crew up again after the Enterprise goes to you, but... that's what we get for raising an amazing kid."
"And a good officer," George added as an afterthought.
There was a strange clench in his stomach. His family... his mother, father, and evidently Pike at least... what about Sam? They were all serving on the Enterprise with him. How old was he here? If he got a chance to look in a mirror or something reflective, he'd take a second to look. What if he did look older? Wasn't sure how he'd handle that. "...bastard, stop being such a flirt." He teased easily, even in the weird situation.
George tapped Jim on the head and rolled his eyes. "Just take compliments Jimmy. It's not like I get to give them to you on the ship anyway."
Kirk swatted at the tap, "Don't call me that." He muttered again, but refraining from commenting on the second part. ...I have to make him realize what's going on. "Hey, dad? You wanna go for a walk?"
"Finally ready to spend some time with your old man?" George asked lazily, stretching upwards. "Where do you want to go?" Felt like the whole world was just the ranch sometimes. It was nice. Also, he hadn't had many rambles with Jim since Jim started the Academy and was too grown up to wander around with his old man.
"Anywhere. Just somewhere we can talk for a bit?" Kirk asked, knowing it would be hard to impossible if someone else showed up.
"Of course," George nodded and lead the way out to the far end of the pasture down by a tree that the boys used to climb. He climbed up onto the fence, and looked over the pasture and the horses with a happy, contented smile. No one would come bother them out here.
Kirk followed, sitting on the fence as well. He looked out over everything, then to his father. "...is this everything you ever wanted, Dad?" He asked rather bluntly.
"About as close as is reasonable," George admitted with a smile. "I got you, your mom, you papa, your brothers and your sister...I got a job I love and folks who're near as family, who'll take care of you even when I'm not there to do it."
A slow lick of his lips, and Kirk steeled himself. "What if I told you... it wasn't true? That this... was all a lie?"
"Son?" George turned to face Jim squarely. "What's going on in that head of yours?"
Kirk gestured out over the area in front of them. "This. All of it. It's a lie. None of its true."
"It's all true," George shook his head, almost violently. "We're home, kiddo. Safe and home and happy."
"Dad, you're on the Enterprise. You're almost brain dead. Mom and Pike are sitting at your bedside, watching you die." His fingers tightened on the fence.
"Did you get knocked upside the head?" George reached out to feel Jim's head worriedly. It couldn't be true after all. To that, Kirk didn't say anything at all. He just grabbed George's wrist and squeezed it, giving him a long, tired look. He was so tired, so very tired. He just wanted to go back to sleep, but he had this job, first. He had to get back the father he had lost, finish bringing him home. He had tried to take the worst of it from the Romulans, but in the end George's pain would be far worse.
George just studied his son, and sighed, looking down. He'd...something hadn't felt right here but..."Son?"
"...I know it isn't perfect like this, Dad... but... do you really wanna be here and let us watch you die? You fought so hard... but can you fight against everything perfect? Can you go back to what's not perfect but real?" Kirk's voice caught, just slightly. He was terrible at this sort of stuff.
"Why should I?" George asked. Bits...hazy bits were starting to feed back through him. Not all of them were pleasant either...not like here. Here was nice, was right.
"Well, last I assumed, you loved your family. I figured that was a pretty good reason to fight." Kirk said quietly, wanting to reach out and shake some sense into his father. George just stared down at his hands. He liked it here. It was easy here. Why did he have to come and make things not easy? "..Don't want to see you die, Dad. Don't want to see you turn into some... some vegetable. That's what everyone always said about you, that you were a fighter."
Kirk got off the fence, looking out towards the horses. "...Life was never perfect for me. In fact, this sort of scares the shit out of me." His lips quirked, and he looked to George again. "You're the only family I've got. ...I need you, you know."
George took a deep breath and looked out over the field, over this life of his. "You really need me, son?"
"Yea." It was hard to admit, harder then most would have realized. "I do."
George slipped off the fence and held out his hand to Jim. Something that was true hopefully in all the realities out there, both real and created, was that he would do anything to help his kids. "I don't know the way out, so you're gonna have to help me that far."
"Not entirely sure of the way out, either. Just sort of hoping that Spock knows to get us out of here. Use me like a life-line." Kirk reached out and grasped his father's hand. It was warm (not the freezing cold he had touched moments before), so he gave a tiny smile and pulled George forward into a hug. "Wasn't a time I didn't need you, Dad."
George held Jim in a tight embrace. "Not a time when I'm not going to watch out for you, son. Which Spock do we have on the other end of the line?" Memories were coming fast and furious now, invading this space. The physical contact helped some. "We're home?"
"My Spock." The answer came easily, then Kirk frowned a little. ...He isn't mine. He shook the thought out of his head, and looked up at the sky.
Spock, get us out of here.