Mass Effect 3 - the game (minor spoilers) the relationship (mild spoilers) the ending (HUGE spoilers
Mass Effect 3 is the first game I have ever pre-ordered - though not the first thing I have preordered (this goes to Star Trek XI aka nu!Trek) - and there’s a very shallow reason for this: the inclusion of the possible same-sex romance for male Shepard. If not for this I guess I’d have waited a few months for the game to cost just an arm instead of an arm and leg (£40 for the game and 800 Microsoft points for nearly vital Day 1 DLC and OMG ARE YOU KIDDING ME DAY ONE DLC?!?!?!?!). However, it that was the only thing that attracted me to this game, I’d have bought and played Dragon Age 2 much sooner than I did. The massive appeal on spending over £45 was the knowledge that I will be able to play and play this game over and over and over again, experiencing all possible outcomes, all solutions, and… shit, who am I kidding, I always play those games the same way. Kill the Queen? Shit, no, who do you think I am!!!! Turn the Legion over? Dude, you high?!?!? Allow the destruction of the cure? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!! I am a hopeless paragon. But the romances are different and certain themes can be altered and I guess what I’m trying to say that Halo, I am happy for you and imma let you finish but Mass Effect is the greatest gaming franchise of all times. OF ALL TIMES!!!!
NNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! This game does nearly everything right! They combined the dynamism of ME1 with improvements of ME2 and came out with perfection. The enemies don’t just stand around, waiting for you to shoot them like in ME2, nor they run after you like crazy with guns blazing like in ME1. The weapon improvement system EXISTS, unlike the ME2 where it practically didn’t, but is less complicated and pain-in-the-assy than in ME1 and is easier to understand. You don’t get a gazillion parts, just a couple and you always use the best one for all guns. No more carrying +70 spare parts just in case you’ll find a new gun that could use them.
Sadly, the part that completely fails is the journal and quest mapping. It’s gone. Not a joke, you get your quest, it tells you what you need and where but a) often the areas are unavailable until later in the game b) often you’ve no idea which star cluster the planet is c) never tells you if’ve you completed the objective d) to get most quests you’ve got to, eh, you’ve got to eavesdrop on people. Remember how in ME 1 and 2 you overheard 3 or 4 conversations and you could act on them? I this game 75% of all sidequests are based on Shepard being a shameless eavesdropper and NO ONE calls him out on that. I’m Commander Shepard and this is my favorite pastime on the Citadel. And don’t think he even has a common decency to apologize, no no no, he’s a Spectre and he can go all BigBrother on his ass if he wants to!
No stupid pointless I hate them all Mako/Hammerhead/resources missions! VICTORY!!! SUCK ON THAT YOU STUPID TANK!!!!!!!! Instead we get the War Assets gathering sidequest that... mostly still sucks.
Every single character you ever met and played any bigger part in ME1 and ME2 returns. Nearly everyone gets a crowning moment of awesome and/or heartwarming and I warn you now, people die. Sometimes they won’t have to, depending on the decisions you make in this or PREVIOUS games but sometimes they do. NO PUPPIES FOR YOU!!!!! DEAL!!!!
The plot is nearly seamless but it’s a very heavy “near” that now shades the entire experience I had with this game, but since it’s a massive spoiler, I put it along my feeling on the ending.
LALALA I’m a spoiler line lalalalala!!!
The same-sex romance - some mild spoilers
So. GayShep…
He gets some. More than some. Not one but TWO men are after his “war assets” if you know what I’m implying.
Now, as you ALL recall I had just one man on my mind, Jeff The Joker. My Shep was totes in love with him but sadly, it seemed that Joker is one of them straights. He is. But even if you play a female you wouldn’t be able to romance him because a) Bioware is evil and hates me b) he gets a love interest of his own that’s Not You. Sure, I guess you can ruin it for him and push that The Girl in the friendzone forevery if you’re mean like that but if you love Joker, you want him to be happy, right? RIGHT?! Do the Paragon thing, Kirke, do the Paragon. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…
Instead we got that Vega guy who I hated from the very first mention/scene though I reconsidered for oh, about 3 seconds, when I found out he’s being voiced by Freddie Prince Jr. He really gets on my nerves for most of the game though eventually he grows on me - still, he remains my second least favorite character. Truly dispensable. But you know what? He’s not the same-sex option! There is God! \o/
Instead, just as I suspected we got Kaidan but it’s not obvious at all. Like I said, I firmly believed it’s Vega who’s the LI, so I didn’t pay a lot of attention, even if Kaidan made a joke about liking when Shep’s flirting with him. I put it down to this game overall gay-friendly feel, especially with an introduction of openly gay crewmembers Steve and Samantha. And yet, yet, here I am, playing this game, do the dialogue, save Kaidan, invite him to join me on the Normandy and and and… what the generations of fans have waited for comes - Kaidan admits he wants to be more than friends. And… I don’t like it at all. This scene has a very awkward feel and to summarise it, it goes a bit like this:
- Yo, Shep, I am alone, you are alone, we are getting older… wanna hook up
- Well, I guess, it’s not like I have any other option
- Good.
- Fine
- Wanna beer?
- Beer’s fine too.
- There will be sex later on
- Sex’s fine as well.
They don’ t even touch ONCE during that scene, let alone kiss. Afterwards they get maybe 2 romance-specific dialogues but then of course teh sexing comes at the end and while hot (and I must have watched it about 70 times on YouTube) it just lacks any significance in my opinion. They really feel like just two friends who hook up and TRY to make it more significant than it really is. They do flirt and the guy who voices Kaidan does an amazing job but that’s about it. To rub the salt on that wound a bit more because why not, female Shep has an extended dialogue option where she confesses her love for Kaidan. And none for GayShep. It DOES makes sense since FemShep was romancing Kaidan since ME1 but it still burns a bit.
HOWEVER!!! Their very last scene together makes up a bit for it and in retrospective, makes the entire romance more believable and alive. I must say that while I’m not a superfan of this ship, this scene fixes it enough for me not to regret the way it’s been handled. But it didn’t make me ~~~~ship them or ~~~~root for them, like I found myself, much to my surprise, for Anders/Hawke in Dragon Age 2.
I did write though that there are two men that are after Shepard, didn’t I? Meet Steve Cortez, the first openly gay character of the Mass Effect universe. He’s a pilot (like Joker!) and the first time you talk to him, he mentions having a husband that had been killed by The Collectors. I really thought this was just a one off moment but then it turns out that this becomes a bit of a sidequest, where you can help Steve move on after Robert’s death or, well, not - both as a romantic partner or a friend. It was a truly touching moment and made me really care for him. What I didn’t know/expect/suspect is that Steve is also a potential same-sex option for Shep, which means that I went with Kaidan - to my big regret and dismay once I realized that Steve could have been mine. I actually went back on a save to seduce Steve before going with Kaidan and, in my opinion, this scene is much better handled than the Kaiden/Shepard one. There’s actual flirting, declaration of attraction, and kissing. The slashing part of the fandom however doesn’t seem to like Steve much because a) not Kaidan b) [actual quote] he’s ugly c) still not Kaidan. I will eventually try to play the game again and go with Steve, tho it doesn’t really change a thing plot-wise, since, like I said, you and your LI get *counts* two romance specific scenes and two romance specific dialogues. Seems like Kaidan/Shep will remain my canon. FOR NOW!
Also, seems like Steve and Vaga have that whole BFF thing going on. I approve.
£$$W^%&&%^£$”!£%^%&^O*(*%£”$!£%^**%£$5
“£$%IO^P*^£$”!”$*%^*&)^%£$”!
£”!$%^%&*^¬!IYU*
HOLY SHIIIIIIIIII*, THERE BE HEAVY SPOILERS TO THE ENDING BELOW!!!!
The ending. Massive heavy spoilers all around
This ending.
This fucking ending.
This stupid fucking ending.
I hate it.
If you haven’t lived under the rock and know anything about the fanbase, you should know that the backlash and outrage is massive.
There are entire pages dedicated to articles and videos pointing out how much people HATE this ending. Pointing out the lack of consistency, pointing out how it goes against the lore, pointing out the numerous plotholes and the feeling of absolute lack of choice. Nothing you did matter, you pick your explosion, you sit down, you wait for the shit to go down. I hate that I’m told that Synthetics and Organics can’t get along, despite the fact that I united Geth and Quarians, and helped EDI become more human, helped her and Joker start an actual relationship. Did you know that I cried like crazy when Legion died? He was one of the most human characters of the franchise! Sorry, no future for you. Hate that it seems that my Love Interest abandoned me at the very last moment and run from the battle. Where is the “tell the God Child to go fuck himself” option?
The implication that Kaidan and Joker will be boning is the only thing I like about this ending.
Of course, there was backlash to the backlash as well, only that it’s aimed at the fans who hated the ending, with numerous defenders accusing people of hating it because they didn’t get “sunshine and puppies” and are “too stupid to get it”. Yes, because being told, repeatedly, that all your actions matter and in the end, only being able to pick a different color of the explosion and getting the overall near identical ending each time is really meaningful. Like I said, there are so many plot holes, so many questions… did Joker run from the final battle? How long do you think he’ll survive on that planet? His bones break if he stands for too long, yet they are in a JUNGLE. What the hell my crew, people I took with me on the final push, are doing back on Normandy. Wait, so Shepard shoots Anderson and then… Shepard bleeds from the gunshot wound? Buh??? Etcetcetc.
Butbutbutbutbutbutbut!
There’s a but! The but known as The Indoctrination Theory.
You see, if you just take a deep breath and think about it… the ending could literally be a dream sequence. All the clues, if you choose to believe them, are there. The dreams with the child being the first major clue - Shep is being indoctrinated, slowly but surely and the child symbolizes it. The last 10 minutes are him fighting the indoctrination, with Anderson and “red option” meaning he breaks the indoctrination, while the blue and green endings mean he’s indoctrinated. And that there will be a DLC expanding on it. Maybe. I would LOVE to believe it, I really really LOVE this idea and if true, turns the ending into genius but the problem is, I got burned by incompetence in fandom so many times, I will only truly believe it once I see it. In the meantime I will hate this ending and everything it represents for now - laziness, greed and the absolute lack of respect for the fans.
LALALALALALALA I'm Commander Shepard and this is my favorite spoiler line in this Livejournal
********************************
NNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! This game does nearly everything right! They combined the dynamism of ME1 with improvements of ME2 and came out with perfection. The enemies don’t just stand around, waiting for you to shoot them like in ME2, nor they run after you like crazy with guns blazing like in ME1. The weapon improvement system EXISTS, unlike the ME2 where it practically didn’t, but is less complicated and pain-in-the-assy than in ME1 and is easier to understand. You don’t get a gazillion parts, just a couple and you always use the best one for all guns. No more carrying +70 spare parts just in case you’ll find a new gun that could use them.
Sadly, the part that completely fails is the journal and quest mapping. It’s gone. Not a joke, you get your quest, it tells you what you need and where but a) often the areas are unavailable until later in the game b) often you’ve no idea which star cluster the planet is c) never tells you if’ve you completed the objective d) to get most quests you’ve got to, eh, you’ve got to eavesdrop on people. Remember how in ME 1 and 2 you overheard 3 or 4 conversations and you could act on them? I this game 75% of all sidequests are based on Shepard being a shameless eavesdropper and NO ONE calls him out on that. I’m Commander Shepard and this is my favorite pastime on the Citadel. And don’t think he even has a common decency to apologize, no no no, he’s a Spectre and he can go all BigBrother on his ass if he wants to!
No stupid pointless I hate them all Mako/Hammerhead/resources missions! VICTORY!!! SUCK ON THAT YOU STUPID TANK!!!!!!!! Instead we get the War Assets gathering sidequest that... mostly still sucks.
Every single character you ever met and played any bigger part in ME1 and ME2 returns. Nearly everyone gets a crowning moment of awesome and/or heartwarming and I warn you now, people die. Sometimes they won’t have to, depending on the decisions you make in this or PREVIOUS games but sometimes they do. NO PUPPIES FOR YOU!!!!! DEAL!!!!
The plot is nearly seamless but it’s a very heavy “near” that now shades the entire experience I had with this game, but since it’s a massive spoiler, I put it along my feeling on the ending.
LALALA I’m a spoiler line lalalalala!!!
The same-sex romance - some mild spoilers
So. GayShep…
He gets some. More than some. Not one but TWO men are after his “war assets” if you know what I’m implying.
Now, as you ALL recall I had just one man on my mind, Jeff The Joker. My Shep was totes in love with him but sadly, it seemed that Joker is one of them straights. He is. But even if you play a female you wouldn’t be able to romance him because a) Bioware is evil and hates me b) he gets a love interest of his own that’s Not You. Sure, I guess you can ruin it for him and push that The Girl in the friendzone forevery if you’re mean like that but if you love Joker, you want him to be happy, right? RIGHT?! Do the Paragon thing, Kirke, do the Paragon. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…
Instead we got that Vega guy who I hated from the very first mention/scene though I reconsidered for oh, about 3 seconds, when I found out he’s being voiced by Freddie Prince Jr. He really gets on my nerves for most of the game though eventually he grows on me - still, he remains my second least favorite character. Truly dispensable. But you know what? He’s not the same-sex option! There is God! \o/
Instead, just as I suspected we got Kaidan but it’s not obvious at all. Like I said, I firmly believed it’s Vega who’s the LI, so I didn’t pay a lot of attention, even if Kaidan made a joke about liking when Shep’s flirting with him. I put it down to this game overall gay-friendly feel, especially with an introduction of openly gay crewmembers Steve and Samantha. And yet, yet, here I am, playing this game, do the dialogue, save Kaidan, invite him to join me on the Normandy and and and… what the generations of fans have waited for comes - Kaidan admits he wants to be more than friends. And… I don’t like it at all. This scene has a very awkward feel and to summarise it, it goes a bit like this:
- Yo, Shep, I am alone, you are alone, we are getting older… wanna hook up
- Well, I guess, it’s not like I have any other option
- Good.
- Fine
- Wanna beer?
- Beer’s fine too.
- There will be sex later on
- Sex’s fine as well.
They don’ t even touch ONCE during that scene, let alone kiss. Afterwards they get maybe 2 romance-specific dialogues but then of course teh sexing comes at the end and while hot (and I must have watched it about 70 times on YouTube) it just lacks any significance in my opinion. They really feel like just two friends who hook up and TRY to make it more significant than it really is. They do flirt and the guy who voices Kaidan does an amazing job but that’s about it. To rub the salt on that wound a bit more because why not, female Shep has an extended dialogue option where she confesses her love for Kaidan. And none for GayShep. It DOES makes sense since FemShep was romancing Kaidan since ME1 but it still burns a bit.
HOWEVER!!! Their very last scene together makes up a bit for it and in retrospective, makes the entire romance more believable and alive. I must say that while I’m not a superfan of this ship, this scene fixes it enough for me not to regret the way it’s been handled. But it didn’t make me ~~~~ship them or ~~~~root for them, like I found myself, much to my surprise, for Anders/Hawke in Dragon Age 2.
I did write though that there are two men that are after Shepard, didn’t I? Meet Steve Cortez, the first openly gay character of the Mass Effect universe. He’s a pilot (like Joker!) and the first time you talk to him, he mentions having a husband that had been killed by The Collectors. I really thought this was just a one off moment but then it turns out that this becomes a bit of a sidequest, where you can help Steve move on after Robert’s death or, well, not - both as a romantic partner or a friend. It was a truly touching moment and made me really care for him. What I didn’t know/expect/suspect is that Steve is also a potential same-sex option for Shep, which means that I went with Kaidan - to my big regret and dismay once I realized that Steve could have been mine. I actually went back on a save to seduce Steve before going with Kaidan and, in my opinion, this scene is much better handled than the Kaiden/Shepard one. There’s actual flirting, declaration of attraction, and kissing. The slashing part of the fandom however doesn’t seem to like Steve much because a) not Kaidan b) [actual quote] he’s ugly c) still not Kaidan. I will eventually try to play the game again and go with Steve, tho it doesn’t really change a thing plot-wise, since, like I said, you and your LI get *counts* two romance specific scenes and two romance specific dialogues. Seems like Kaidan/Shep will remain my canon. FOR NOW!
Also, seems like Steve and Vaga have that whole BFF thing going on. I approve.
£$$W^%&&%^£$”!£%^%&^O*(*%£”$!£%^**%£$5
“£$%IO^P*^£$”!”$*%^*&)^%£$”!
£”!$%^%&*^¬!IYU*
HOLY SHIIIIIIIIII*, THERE BE HEAVY SPOILERS TO THE ENDING BELOW!!!!
The ending. Massive heavy spoilers all around
This ending.
This fucking ending.
This stupid fucking ending.
I hate it.
If you haven’t lived under the rock and know anything about the fanbase, you should know that the backlash and outrage is massive.
There are entire pages dedicated to articles and videos pointing out how much people HATE this ending. Pointing out the lack of consistency, pointing out how it goes against the lore, pointing out the numerous plotholes and the feeling of absolute lack of choice. Nothing you did matter, you pick your explosion, you sit down, you wait for the shit to go down. I hate that I’m told that Synthetics and Organics can’t get along, despite the fact that I united Geth and Quarians, and helped EDI become more human, helped her and Joker start an actual relationship. Did you know that I cried like crazy when Legion died? He was one of the most human characters of the franchise! Sorry, no future for you. Hate that it seems that my Love Interest abandoned me at the very last moment and run from the battle. Where is the “tell the God Child to go fuck himself” option?
The implication that Kaidan and Joker will be boning is the only thing I like about this ending.
Of course, there was backlash to the backlash as well, only that it’s aimed at the fans who hated the ending, with numerous defenders accusing people of hating it because they didn’t get “sunshine and puppies” and are “too stupid to get it”. Yes, because being told, repeatedly, that all your actions matter and in the end, only being able to pick a different color of the explosion and getting the overall near identical ending each time is really meaningful. Like I said, there are so many plot holes, so many questions… did Joker run from the final battle? How long do you think he’ll survive on that planet? His bones break if he stands for too long, yet they are in a JUNGLE. What the hell my crew, people I took with me on the final push, are doing back on Normandy. Wait, so Shepard shoots Anderson and then… Shepard bleeds from the gunshot wound? Buh??? Etcetcetc.
Butbutbutbutbutbutbut!
There’s a but! The but known as The Indoctrination Theory.
You see, if you just take a deep breath and think about it… the ending could literally be a dream sequence. All the clues, if you choose to believe them, are there. The dreams with the child being the first major clue - Shep is being indoctrinated, slowly but surely and the child symbolizes it. The last 10 minutes are him fighting the indoctrination, with Anderson and “red option” meaning he breaks the indoctrination, while the blue and green endings mean he’s indoctrinated. And that there will be a DLC expanding on it. Maybe. I would LOVE to believe it, I really really LOVE this idea and if true, turns the ending into genius but the problem is, I got burned by incompetence in fandom so many times, I will only truly believe it once I see it. In the meantime I will hate this ending and everything it represents for now - laziness, greed and the absolute lack of respect for the fans.
LALALALALALALA I'm Commander Shepard and this is my favorite spoiler line in this Livejournal
********************************