Marvel 100: Coffee Magic - Bob/Weasel; NC-13
Title: Coffee Magic
Characters/Pairings: Bob, Agent of HYDRA/Weasel, Deadpool, Doctor Strange
Words: 100 + 500 + 100 (=700)
Rating: NC-13, violent images + crack
Challenge: #19, caffeine
Author’s Notes: Written for Marvel_100. Based on the cover to Cable and Deadpool #47 and, therefore, set after that. Yeah, I have a time machine. Deal with it.
Coffee Magic
now
There isn’t enough stabbity in his sword to remove that image from his head. He knows because he’s been trying to do it for ten minutes now. Unfortunately, nothing seems to be working. Opening the skull and removing parts of his brain didn’t help. Poking his eyes out (three times) didn’t help. Pouring hydrochloric acid through his ear didn’t. Bloody. Help. Even. A. Little!
Damn!
The worst part of it is that they are still on it. He can hear them, after all he’s standing right outside the door.
Hm… maybe moving out of the earshot would help?
Naaaaaaaaaah.
16 minutes before
Whomever had encrypted those files was a pure genius incarnated. Normally Weasel would admire the guy but he had been working on cracking the code for over sixteen hours straight and there was no place for appreciation left in him. He needed coffee.
As soon as the thought crossed his mind, his nostrils were filled with a rich aroma. He turned his head to see Bob approaching him, with two cups of coffee. He smiled gratefully “Thanks, Bob. You’re a savior.”
The (former) HYDRA agent handed him on of the cups and only then it occurred to Weasel that the black liquid didn’t smell like coffee at all. The scent, while definitely not unpleasant, was too sweet, too strong and reminded him of wild flowers.
“What is it?” he asked, suspiciously.
“That new stuff Deadpool brought few weeks ago. I’ve been keeping it for a special occasion and this seems like a special occasion to me.” As if to demonstrate that there was no harm, Bob drank a bit. “Its excellent.” He observed.
Weasel nodded, took a sip and sighed, happily, as the familiar warmness spread through him. He could already feel the caffeine working its way to his veins. One more sip and the weariness left him completely. This stuff was beyond excellent, it was… magical.
He looked back at the screen, his mind filled with fresh ideas and tried to concentrate on his work again but for some odd reason, he couldn’t. His thoughts kept returning to Bob… Dear Bob… Lovely Bob. Bob, who brought him coffee. Bob, who supported him after Wolverine had tried to kill him. Bob, who could sell him to HYDRA if he wanted but he didn’t want to because Bob… he… yes, he was sure, Bob loved him.
And he loved Bob.
Their eyes met and Weasel could swear he felt a sparkle flying between them. He stood up slowly and took a tentative step forward, until they were standing barely an inch from each other. For Weasel, it seemed like a Grand Canyon.
“I love you.” Saying this was such a formality but he wanted to say it and he wanted to hear it back, so when Bob grinned and whispered “I love you too.” it was all that took for Weasel to launch himself at Bob, showering him with kisses, groping his ass and licking every available surface not covered by his HYDRA uniform.
“Marry me.” He breathed between kisses.
Bob seemed to be delighted by the idea, the insignificant detail of already being married, escaping him completely “Let’s have a baby!”
Weasel squealed with joy at that. A tiny Bob! All his! If it was a girl, they would call her Bobbi! He couldn’t wait, he had to have Bob’s baby now “We should make one right now!”
“Oh, Jack...”
“Oh, Bob!”
“Oh, Merciful Square Dancing Avengers! What the hell are you two do... no! Don’t put it there, it’s unhy... eeeeeeeew! No more “Queer Eye…” for either of you!”
3 weeks earlier
“Hey, Doc, is that where you keep the coffee in?”
Stephen Strange yanked the small jar from Wade’s grasp and put it back on its place on the shelf.
“Mister Wilson, I told you numerous times already, don’t touch anything that’s in my Sanctuary. Most of these things are very dangerous.”
Deadpool nodded but, of course, as soon as Doctor Strange turned his back, he placed the jar in one of his pouches. A new brand of coffee. Weasel would love it and maybe he’d even forgive him for leaving him with HYDRA for so long.
Him? Irresponsible? Oh, please!
Characters/Pairings: Bob, Agent of HYDRA/Weasel, Deadpool, Doctor Strange
Words: 100 + 500 + 100 (=700)
Rating: NC-13, violent images + crack
Challenge: #19, caffeine
Author’s Notes: Written for Marvel_100. Based on the cover to Cable and Deadpool #47 and, therefore, set after that. Yeah, I have a time machine. Deal with it.
Coffee Magic
now
There isn’t enough stabbity in his sword to remove that image from his head. He knows because he’s been trying to do it for ten minutes now. Unfortunately, nothing seems to be working. Opening the skull and removing parts of his brain didn’t help. Poking his eyes out (three times) didn’t help. Pouring hydrochloric acid through his ear didn’t. Bloody. Help. Even. A. Little!
Damn!
The worst part of it is that they are still on it. He can hear them, after all he’s standing right outside the door.
Hm… maybe moving out of the earshot would help?
Naaaaaaaaaah.
16 minutes before
Whomever had encrypted those files was a pure genius incarnated. Normally Weasel would admire the guy but he had been working on cracking the code for over sixteen hours straight and there was no place for appreciation left in him. He needed coffee.
As soon as the thought crossed his mind, his nostrils were filled with a rich aroma. He turned his head to see Bob approaching him, with two cups of coffee. He smiled gratefully “Thanks, Bob. You’re a savior.”
The (former) HYDRA agent handed him on of the cups and only then it occurred to Weasel that the black liquid didn’t smell like coffee at all. The scent, while definitely not unpleasant, was too sweet, too strong and reminded him of wild flowers.
“What is it?” he asked, suspiciously.
“That new stuff Deadpool brought few weeks ago. I’ve been keeping it for a special occasion and this seems like a special occasion to me.” As if to demonstrate that there was no harm, Bob drank a bit. “Its excellent.” He observed.
Weasel nodded, took a sip and sighed, happily, as the familiar warmness spread through him. He could already feel the caffeine working its way to his veins. One more sip and the weariness left him completely. This stuff was beyond excellent, it was… magical.
He looked back at the screen, his mind filled with fresh ideas and tried to concentrate on his work again but for some odd reason, he couldn’t. His thoughts kept returning to Bob… Dear Bob… Lovely Bob. Bob, who brought him coffee. Bob, who supported him after Wolverine had tried to kill him. Bob, who could sell him to HYDRA if he wanted but he didn’t want to because Bob… he… yes, he was sure, Bob loved him.
And he loved Bob.
Their eyes met and Weasel could swear he felt a sparkle flying between them. He stood up slowly and took a tentative step forward, until they were standing barely an inch from each other. For Weasel, it seemed like a Grand Canyon.
“I love you.” Saying this was such a formality but he wanted to say it and he wanted to hear it back, so when Bob grinned and whispered “I love you too.” it was all that took for Weasel to launch himself at Bob, showering him with kisses, groping his ass and licking every available surface not covered by his HYDRA uniform.
“Marry me.” He breathed between kisses.
Bob seemed to be delighted by the idea, the insignificant detail of already being married, escaping him completely “Let’s have a baby!”
Weasel squealed with joy at that. A tiny Bob! All his! If it was a girl, they would call her Bobbi! He couldn’t wait, he had to have Bob’s baby now “We should make one right now!”
“Oh, Jack...”
“Oh, Bob!”
“Oh, Merciful Square Dancing Avengers! What the hell are you two do... no! Don’t put it there, it’s unhy... eeeeeeeew! No more “Queer Eye…” for either of you!”
3 weeks earlier
“Hey, Doc, is that where you keep the coffee in?”
Stephen Strange yanked the small jar from Wade’s grasp and put it back on its place on the shelf.
“Mister Wilson, I told you numerous times already, don’t touch anything that’s in my Sanctuary. Most of these things are very dangerous.”
Deadpool nodded but, of course, as soon as Doctor Strange turned his back, he placed the jar in one of his pouches. A new brand of coffee. Weasel would love it and maybe he’d even forgive him for leaving him with HYDRA for so long.
Him? Irresponsible? Oh, please!