Letter meme

[kirke_novak]

Stolen shamelessly from fan_elune: Leave a list of fictional characters in your journal that you would love to get a message from. It is your friend-list's mission, should they choose to accept it, to write you an in-character "letter" from a character on that list.

Comments

[tiny_and_green]

Dear ms. Novak,

Because of the vehemence of your recent inquiries, the Torchwood Institute has kindly decided to supply you with the requested information in return for your reticence in these matters.

No, there is no known alien disease termed 'the ghey', nor do we know of any other ailment or affliction that would affect one's sexual orientation one way or the other. Therefore, it is impossible for me to be a carrier of such.

The Torchwood Institute is also not aware of the existence of an alien termed 'the woobie', and would like to insist that you cease all statements to the contrary, especially inasfar as it involves my person.

Finally, any and all allegations of a workplace affair between myself and a hypothetical superior are entirely false and have no bearing in reality. The Torchwood Institute would hence kindly request that you cease hacking into CCTV footage.

I hope this assuages your fears in the aforementioned area, and I would like to repeat that the Torchwood Institute does insist that you cease any and all inquiries into Torchwood business on penalty of retcon.

Yours faithfully,
Ianto Jones.

P.S.: Even if I were to be involved in any such aforementioned affair, I do have access to all Torchwood 3 computer systems, and would not hesitate to blank the cameras should any such hypothetical rendezvous take place.

I have also taken the liberty of removing the camcorders you installed in Captain Harkness' shower, as well as those installed in my own. I suggest you cease draining our EMP budget; it's ghastly to reorganize these funds, and harder still to justify to my superiors.

[kirke_novak]

Dear Mr Jones,

First of all, I know better. I am a Master of Science and if I can't march somewhere, waving my degree, saying, 'you've got the ghay!', then what the hell those five years of university were good for?

But fine, whatever, be like that, see if I care, I actually have all proves I needed! Ph. D., here I come!

Kirke Novak, MSc

P.S. Heartless miser.

P.S.2. Ok, I've proved I'm arrogant and totally unlikable. Are you going to hire me now?!

[tiny_and_green]

Dear ms. Novak,

We have forwarded your contact details to Dr. Owen Harper.

Yours faithfully,
Ianto Jones.