Fic For holmes221b: "Unexpected Passengers" 2/2
Title: Unexpected passengers 2/2
Recipient's name : holmes221b
Rating: R
Pairing/Characters: Kirk/McCoy
Word Count: 13.437
Kinks/Warnings: Mpreg
Notes: Thanks for the beta Elly, you're wonderful.
Part 1
Leonard woke up feeling rested for first time in days. He wasn't in his bed, but he had slept on his couch often enough to know, even in the dark, that he was in his own cabin. Someone, probably Jim before going back to his rooms the night before, had tucked him in, and Leonard sank a little more under the blanket. He wasn't in a hurry to wake up.
He didn't open his eyes even when he heard the door opening and the noise of steps walking into the room. There were only three people on the ship authorized to override his security code and Spock and M'Benga would have called before doing it. Jim, however, was a different matter. The kid didn't know what personal boundaries were. Or, if he did, he liked to ignore them.
Leonard listened for a while how Jim moved quietly around the cabin until curiosity made him open his eyes. From his place on the couch he could see the bedroom area. Jim had a bag open on the bed and was doing something in McCoy's closet. Leonard half rose, trying to get a better look, and when he saw Jim taking some golden shirts from the bag to put them into the closet he almost jumped from the couch.
“What the hell are you doing?” he asked astonished.
“Good morning!” Jim greeted him cheerfully and closed the closet. “Have you slept well?”
“Have I...? Damn it, Jim! What the hell are you doing?” Leonard asked again while he tried to disentangle himself of the quilt and stand up.
“I'm moving.” Jim checked that his bag was empty, stored it under the bed and turned to look at McCoy. “You need company, Bones. Someone has to make sure that you take care of yourself. And that is me.”
For first time in his life, Leonard didn't know what to say. The idea of Jim moving to take care of him made him feel something warm growing in his chest. On the other hand, he still remembered how had been to share a room with him. It was the memory of the crazy schedules, the noise and the underwear thrown everywhere what made him answer. “No,” he said dryly.
“Yes,” replied Jim nonchalantly. “M'Benga agrees with me. I spoke with him a while ago and he is worried about you too. So, it is your decision. You can be nice and agree with us or he can make it an order. Hell! I can make it an order too.”
And they would do it, Leonard didn't doubt it. It was sad. He'd always thought that he could trust in Geoffrey, but it seemed he was wrong. “This is a small cabin, Jim,” he argued. “We're going to be crowded.”
Jim looked around and then shrugged. “Our dorm at the Academy wasn't bigger than this. And most of the crew shares smaller cabins. We can stay in mine, if you want, but I thought that you would be more comfortable here, with your things around you and near sickbay.”
That was true. And Leonard had to admit it that, just for once, the kid was being thoughtful. “You sleep in the couch,” he groaned finally.
“That isn't a problem. Your couch is more comfortable than mine.” Jim sat near Leonard. “I don't understand why. I'm the captain, after all. I should have better furniture.”
“Probably because I do not...” Leonard stopped and made a face. “What's that?”
“What?” asked Jim looking around.
“Can you not feel it? It smells... funny.
“Funny? I don't smell anything strange.” Jim moved closer to Bones, sniffling around. Leonard jumped away from him.
“Damn it, Jim! What have you been doing? You smell really bad.”
“Me?” Jim raised an arm and sniffled the sleeve of his uniform. “I do not smell anything,” he said confused.
“It is really nasty. The least that you can do is take a shower, or something, before going up to the bridge.”
“Seriously, Bones. I don't think it's so bad. I've spoken with a lot of people this morning and nobody has said anything. I've spent half an hour in Scotty's office and he hasn't...”
“Jim, I'm going to puke.” And he wasn't joking. Probably the damned Scot had something cooking in that still that he officially didn't have but all the crew knew he hid in Engineering and the stink had rubbed on the kid's clothes, it was turning his stomach.
“All right! All right! I got it. Shower. Not a problem.” Jim disappeared into the bathroom so fast that it could had been funny if not because he was feeling sick. The nausea started to disappear as soon as the captain went out of the room and by the time he was back, wearing a clean uniform and with his hair still wet, Leonard felt normal again.
They went together to get some breakfast in the mess. After that, Bones headed to sickbay and Jim went up to the bridge and their paths didn't cross again the rest of the day. When Leonard went back to his cabin that night, Jim was already there, reading something in his PADD with a cup of coffee in his hand. Then he felt it again.
“What?” Jim asked when he looked up and saw Bones standing by the door.
“Jim...” Leonard started.
“You cannot be serious. Not again,” Jim complained. But Leonard could not be more serious. He had the feeling that he could be turning green and probably it was true, because the captain sighed and put the PADD aside. “Oh, I'm going. Don’t worry,” he said standing up and heading resignedly to the bathroom.”
*&*&*&*&*&
All the crew of the Enterprise knew that it wasn't probable to find doctor McCoy in any of the observation decks. Everybody knew that, if he could avoid it, he preferred not to see the darkness around them. Nobody looked for him near a window. Therefore, the observation deck near the medical bay had become Leonard's favorite hiding place.
It had never been a very popular place in first place. It was small, far from the more crowded halls of the ship and Leonard had heard that it was the one with the worse sight in the Enterprise. Since he always sat with the back toward the window, that wasn't a problem for him.
Privacy, however, was something he was really grateful for. Since the nightmare in Vemir, privacy was getting scarcer and scarcer in his life. It was hard to keep secrets in the small world of sickbay and, in spite of M'Benga and Chapel's best efforts; it had been a few days before all his staff knew what was happening. It wasn't that Leonard doubted about their discretion. They were his people. He had chosen and trained them. He would trust them with his life without a doubt. What he couldn't stand was all that agitation and fuss over him.
Of course all the discretion in the galaxy hadn't been any good when he could no longer hide the changes in his body. Leonard still smiled when he remembered the expression on the face of the quartermaster when he had requested a new uniform. Jim and Spock had been with him at that moment. Jim had refused to miss the show and Leonard was sure that even the Vulcan had had problems keeping the impassive expression.
After that, he had felt more and more eyes following him in the halls. He had expected questions and comments, but everybody seemed to be going out of their way to not annoy him. Jim said it was because the crew respected him too much to take the risk of offending him, but Leonard was sure that the captain, or maybe Spock, had threatened serious repercussions to whoever dare to bother him.
Even so, the eyes were there, following him, and it was irritating. Sometimes he simply needed to be far from everything and from everybody and that little observation deck was the perfect refuge. Leonard didn't doubt that Jim knew exactly where he was hiding, but until that moment he hadn't said anything and he felt grateful about it. To tell the truth, there were a lot of things he had to thank Jim for. So many that he didn't know where to begin. Jim had been there for weeks, watching over what he ate and what he didn't eat. He made him rest when Leonard wasn't ready to admit that he was exhausted. He did everything possible to keep Bones from obsessing over his problem and had listened whenever Leonard needed to speak.
The captain had become accustomed to doing his paperwork in the doctor's cabin. For some weeks, he had endured that Leonard sent him to the shower two, three or even four times every day. It was absurd and the doctor knew that the smell wasn't real, but he could not avoid feeling sick when Jim was near him and the captain had been amazingly patient about it. Just like he had stood his moods and his frustration every time that the investigation ended in a dead end.
Sure, Leonard had not done any less for his ex wife when she was pregnant, but Jim wasn't his husband. He was his captain and his best friend and, if Leonard ever gathered the courage to speak, maybe something more, but hardly the father of his children.
He was wondering if, in his case, the word 'father' fitted him, or V'Miriel, or some unknown officer of Starfleet when the door opened and someone came into the room. He didn't need to look to know who the newly arrived was. He listened to Jim's steps and felt him to sit in the floor next to him.
“What has happened?
Leonard didn't ask what he meant. In the last weeks, M'Benga had devoted so many hours as him to look for a way to revert what V'Miriel had done. He didn't even want to think about the time that Spock had spent in a lab trying to help them. Jim had been as eager as him to find a solution. And when they finally thought that they could do it, when M'Benga believed that he could extract the second reproductive system without risking McCoy's life, what had he done? He had refused the surgery. He could understand why Jim was confused. He was confused as hell too.
“I can’t do it,” he said finally.
“Of course you can,” Jim replied reassuringly. “I understand that you’re scared, but M'Benga says that you have looked into every eventuality, every detail that can fail. And Spock estimates that the chances of success are near ninety percent, Bones. Everything will be fine.”
That wasn't what worried Leonard, but he reacted instinctively to the Vulcan's calculation. “Near ninety? That would be fine if we were speaking about routine surgery or if my life was in an imminent risk, but this isn't so easy. We're speaking about a theoretical technique that we haven't been able to try, on a tissue that we had never seen before, that can compromise most of my vital organs. And you have to be aware that M'Benga'll be the only doctor on the ship. My nurses are wonderful, but they're nurses. If complications arise... I don't need to explain you where the Enterprise is. He'll be on his own.” Leonard stopped when he felt Jim tensing next to him. “I'm not saying that it won't go fine. Only that it won't be easy.”
“We aren't far from Star Base 37 and they have a good medical team,” Jim frowned. “We could be there in two days and M'Benga would have all the help he could need.”
“I thought we were on our way to meet the Ambassador of Vulcan for the diplomatic talks with Cardassia,” Leonard replied.
“To hell with that! It’s Spock, Bones. The old Spock, I mean. And we have three weeks before those talks with Cardassia begin. He only wants to spend some time on the Enterprise. If we strain the engines, just a little, we can get him, stop in the base and meet the Cardassians in time. In fact, if we were late, I'm sure that he would help us to find a good excuse. For you he would do it. I don't know what was going between you in that other universe,” Jim added with a cheeky smile, “but he really likes you.”
“Don't do that, kid,” Leonard grimaced. “That could work, but you could finish being court martialed.”
“That doesn't matter. I'll make that Chekov set a new course,” Jim discarded the objection and started to stand up. Leonard held his arm and forced him to sit again.
“Damn, Jim! Of course it matters. You know how many people are out there, waiting for you to screw up.” That was true. Not all the Admiralty had agreed in handing over the command of the Enterprise to Jim. Many thought that to appoint someone as young as Jim captain of the flagship was excessive, in spite of his merits. And although they still weren't brave enough to speak aloud, Leonard was sure that they only were waiting that time when Jim took a false step to do something on the matter. “Don't risk your career unless it is by something that is really worth the trouble.”
“Something that’s worth the trouble?” Jim seemed incredulous, almost indignant. “What the hell are you talking about? I can have another ship, even if I have to leave Starfleet, but I cannot have another Bones. I won't risk losing you. I'm not going to lose you. I love you and if I have to take a small risk like that to keep you with me, I swear to you that...” He stopped when he heard Bones gasp. “What?”
"Repeat that," Leonard asked.
“I can have another ship, Bones," Jim explained. "They aren't going to take this one away from me, I'm sure of it. In the last two years we have made merits enough for Starfleet to ignore that we take the long way to obey an order, but even if...”
“Not that,” interrupted McCoy. “Later.”
Jim shrugged and continued. “If I have to leave Starfleet, it wouldn't be so bad. They haven't got the exclusive of the starships in the galaxy. Even outside the Federation...”
“Jim!” It was hard to see it in the room in shadows, but Leonard was almost sure that the captain had blushed.
“I love you, all right?” Jim admitted reluctant. “I have loved you for a long time, but that doesn’t matter now. I don't mind if you don't feel the same. If all I can have is your friendship that is enough for me.”
“Maybe for you, but not for me,” Leonard held out his hand to erase the wrinkle in Jim's brow. “I love you too.”
Jim shook his head. “You don't need to say that, Bones. I know that you love me as a friend, maybe even as a brother, but you don't have to...”
“You idiot” Leonard mumbled. Then he put a hand in the back of Jim's neck and leaned forward to kiss him. It was a short kiss, almost violent, enough to make the impression of warm, wet, surprisingly soft lips. “As if you could make me say something that I don't mean. If I say that I love you, it's because I love you. Is that clear?”
“Clear as water,” smiled Jim. This time it was him who started the kiss. And this time it lasted enough for them enjoy it. Lips moving, tongues exploring and caressing. Jim's taste filling Leonard's mouth. Eyes still closed while they panted heavily, short of breath. “I am going back to the bridge,” said Jim when he could to speak again. “The sooner we change our course, the better.”
“No! Wait,” Leonard objected.
“It won't take much, Bones. I'll be back in your cabin in a moment,” Jim smiled and brushed a new kiss in Leonard's lips.
“No, you don't understand it,” Leonard put his arms around Jim's waist, preventing him from moving. “We don't need to alter our course. Not yet.”
Jim looked into his eyes for a long moment, and when he was sure that the doctor wasn't going to change his mind, he sighed. “All right. Explain that to me.”
Leonard took a deep breath, not knowing where to start. When he finally spoke, what came out of his mouth was unexpected. “Jocelyn didn't want Joana.”
“Your ex?” asked Jim, confused. Bones was always happy to speak about his little girl, but they could be counted with the fingers of a hand the times he had pronounced the name of his ex-wife since he and Jim had met.
“It wasn't in our plans,” Leonard nodded. “Not at that moment. She had got her degree less than a month before and wanted to wait a couple of years, to find a job, to start her career before thinking about having kids. I wasn't in a hurry to be a father either, I didn't mind waiting. But then she got pregnant and all our plans went to hell. Jocelyn didn't want a baby and I couldn't bear the idea of losing her...”
Leonard stopped for a moment and Jim could listen him swallow. “I will save you the nasty details. In the end, she only agreed to have Joana because she thought that our marriage would break if she didn't. Is not that it lasted much anyway,” he added with a trace of bitterness in his voice.
“Are you comparing your situations?” Jim asked astonished. “Bones, they aren't similar at all.”
“Do you think so?” Leonard was, obviously, not convinced.
“Of course not. You were married, Bones. You were planning to have children someday. You cannot compare it with being kidnapped by a crazy alien scientist who plays to be god with your body.”
“They moved, Jim.” The wonder was clear in Leonard's voice. “This morning, while I was in the shower. I felt them move for first time. They have been doing it all day and it's... I can’t explain it. I can’t stop thinking about Joana and when she began to move inside Jocelyn and my baby is the best thing that has ever happened to me. If there's a chance that I can keep these two,” he said staring straight into Jim's eyes. “I want to try it.”
“M'Benga says that no man has ever survived to something like that,” Jim said carefully.
“I know.” Leonard shifted to take Jim's hand and intertwine their fingers. “There're nine other cases of male pregnancy in Starfleet Medical data bases. I have studied all of them. The nine times things started to go wrong after the second month because the body rejected the embryo. Like it happened centuries ago with organ transplants,” he explained. “None of the nine went further the fourth month and all of them showed symptoms of problems long before. We know that isn't happening with me.”
“Is it not happening?” Jim made some fast mental calculations. “It has only been two months and eleven days since we left Vemir.”
“I know, but the rate of growth of both fetus is faster than the normal. For all intents and purposes they're in the fifth month and there aren't symptoms of rejection. I'm tired, my hormones are out of control and I don't need to tell you about my mood changes,” Leonard said with a little smile. “But all of that is...”
“To be expected?” Jim rolled his eyes.
“To be expected,” confirmed Leonard. “I hate to say this, Jim, but at the moment that woman has shown that she knew what she was doing. If things go wrong later...” Jim's fingers tightened over his and Leonard returned the squeeze, reassuringly. “Judging by what we have seen until now, it must not be different if we try to extract it now or later. We can wait.”
In the silence that followed, Leonard almost could hear the noise of Jim's brain at work, considering all the options. “You'll allow M'Benga to decide if your health is at risk and terminate the pregnancy if he must,” finally the captain said. Leonard knew him well enough to be sure that it wasn't a good idea to argue with Jim when he spoke in that tone. Besides, he preferred to focus his effort in avoiding to get to that situation. “And you'll follow his instructions. Everyone of them. Without complaining.”
“All right” Jim looked at Leonard as if he was trying to decide if he could trust in him or not and, suddenly, he smiled. “So, when do you guess we will have the babies here?”
“We?” Leonard asked arching an eyebrow
“We. You said you love me, so now you are going to put up with me. And that means the babies too. So it's better if I make a respectable man of you and we set the things clear from the start.”
“If that’s a proposal, kid,” Leonard snorted, hiding a smile, “let me say that it is the most pathetic I have ever heard. You are going to need a better one if you want me to accept.”
Jim ignored the protest and shrugged. “You'll have it. We'll wait until the babies are born, and then I'll ask Spock to babysit one night and will propose to you again.”
“No way. If you think that I am going to allow that walking Vulcan computer babysit my children, you are...” This time was Jim who shut him up with a kiss. And, just for once, Leonard decided that he wasn't interested in arguing.
*&*&*&*&*&
The first thing Jim saw when he went into sickbay was Bones. He was standing near a biobed, treating a burn in cadet Moya's arm and, after a fast look over his shoulder to see who had arrived and a brief smile, he returned to work.
M'Benga had cleared him for work the day before and Jim was more than happy to lean on the nurse’s desk and watch him. It was the first time the cadet was off planet and Bones was being unusually kind while he tried to instill in her the importance of following all the security protocols when working with chemical agents. It was great to see him like that. He still felt sick when he remembered how close he had been to losing him.
In the end, Bones had been right. The second reproductive system had been stable until the end of the pregnancy and, although M'Benga had ordered him complete rest for almost three weeks, everything had gone well. Or as well as things could go when Leonard McCoy was confined for days to his bed or his couch, wearing a medical bracelet that sent his vital signs to sickbay every thirty minutes.
The babies had arrived before their time, but M'Benga had assured them that, being twins, it wasn't strange and they didn't need to worry. Just in case Jim, with the help of Scotty, Spock and Pike, had scheduled an upgrade of the warp core in Star Base 23, known for its excellent medical facilities, as soon as M'Benga had reported that the birth was imminent.
The cesarean had been fast and successful and Jim had been with Bones when he had held his children for first time. It had been only for a moment, because the little girl had respiratory problems and had to be placed in an incubator as soon as possible, and then Jim had gone with the nurses who cared of the babies while M'Benga and the medical team of the base started to work in the extraction of the second reproductive system.
Jim had never felt too comfortable with the idea of Bones keeping the twins. Truth be told, he had never been around kids, and no one in his right mind would consider Winona and Frank paternal figures to imitate, so he didn't know what to expect. But the only place where he had wanted to be while Bones was in surgery had been with them. He had almost feared that somebody would throw him out of the room but nobody had bothered him. Contrary to his expectations, a nurse had put little David and a bottle in his arms and stayed near them until she had been sure that they got on well. Then she had gone and left them alone to wait for Bones' return.
The captain had known that Bones' surgery would take some hours but in reality it was several days before he saw him awake again. Something had gone wrong, really wrong, while they tried to separate the alien tissue from a lung and the attempts to stabilize him had led to a serious internal hemorrhage and multi organ failure. Bones had been officially dead for three minutes and four seconds. Jim preferred not to think about it. On board the Enterprise, that situation would have ended in disaster. In the base, with a whole team of surgeons taking care of things, they had barely kept Bones alive.
For six days, Bones had stayed recovering in a stasis chamber and, while Spock and Scotty took care of the Enterprise, Jim had spent all that time with him or with the babies. The doctors said that they seemed calmer when he was close and Jim felt better being near them. When Bones had finally woken up, the three had been there, waiting to take him back to the Enterprise.
They had left the Star Base 23 a month before and, that morning, M'Benga had allowed Bones return to work. Just for once, the doctor hadn't protested and Jim had nothing to reproach him. He himself never had thought that he could spend so much time observing two sleeping children without being bored.
When Jim thought about the babies, his eyes went automatically to the open door of the CMO's office. He left Bones taking care of cadet Moya's arm and went to the two little cribs that had been settled against the back wall, where Bones or one of the nurses could always keep an eye on them.
David slept, holding tight to the rag bunny that Sulu had given him, sucking lightly the point of one of the long ears. He resembled Bones so much that Jim could not avoid smiling every time he looked at him. The same dark hair, the same nose, the same perfect little mouth, even the same frown when he got angry or focused in something truly important, as finding a piece of the bunny's ear that he hadn't sucked before.
Jim couldn't think about anything better than his own tiny little Bones to spoil. He gently caressed the baby's cheek with a finger, tucked his blanket in a litter better and turned to the second crib. Sam was fully awake and stared him with her big gray eyes.
“Is she still awake?” came Bones' voice from the door.
“Of course,” Jim answered quietly, holding out a finger for her to grab. “You know her. She isn't going to sleep until she is really tired. This is too peaceful for her.”
Bones snorted and went to stand next to Jim. “If I didn't know it wasn’t possible, I would swear she has Kirk's genes.”
“It's your fault,” Jim smiled proudly. Bones knew the feeling. Joana had had him wrapped around her little finger as soon as she had looked at him for first time and things weren't any different with Sam. Or with David. “It was you who gave her my brother's name. What did you expect?”
“I don't know.” Bones pretended to think about it. “Maybe we should change her name.”
“No way.” Jim leaned over the crib, wrapped the baby in her blanket, and picked her up. “She only needs a little bit of fun and then she'll be ready to rest. I'll take her with me to the bridge and will bring her back to you when she is asleep.”
“Do you think that's a good idea?”
“Bones, my baby girl is going to be captain of a starship when she grows up. The sooner she learns, the better” Jim smiled, settling her better in his arms. “What do you think, honey? Do you want to be a starship captain?”
“It is good to know. But, isn’t she t a little young to be planning her future?
“Of course not. Never is too soon for that, Bones. Are you going to kiss her good bye?”
“Sure,” Leonard smiled kissing the little red haired head. “Behave, you two.”
“We'll see what we can do. By the way,” Jim said, stopping by the door. “Don’t make plans for tonight. Spock is going to look after the children. You and I have a date.”
He moved away, smiling as he listened to Bones' protests. Definitely, things could not be better.
Recipient's name : holmes221b
Rating: R
Pairing/Characters: Kirk/McCoy
Word Count: 13.437
Kinks/Warnings: Mpreg
Notes: Thanks for the beta Elly, you're wonderful.
Part 1
Leonard woke up feeling rested for first time in days. He wasn't in his bed, but he had slept on his couch often enough to know, even in the dark, that he was in his own cabin. Someone, probably Jim before going back to his rooms the night before, had tucked him in, and Leonard sank a little more under the blanket. He wasn't in a hurry to wake up.
He didn't open his eyes even when he heard the door opening and the noise of steps walking into the room. There were only three people on the ship authorized to override his security code and Spock and M'Benga would have called before doing it. Jim, however, was a different matter. The kid didn't know what personal boundaries were. Or, if he did, he liked to ignore them.
Leonard listened for a while how Jim moved quietly around the cabin until curiosity made him open his eyes. From his place on the couch he could see the bedroom area. Jim had a bag open on the bed and was doing something in McCoy's closet. Leonard half rose, trying to get a better look, and when he saw Jim taking some golden shirts from the bag to put them into the closet he almost jumped from the couch.
“What the hell are you doing?” he asked astonished.
“Good morning!” Jim greeted him cheerfully and closed the closet. “Have you slept well?”
“Have I...? Damn it, Jim! What the hell are you doing?” Leonard asked again while he tried to disentangle himself of the quilt and stand up.
“I'm moving.” Jim checked that his bag was empty, stored it under the bed and turned to look at McCoy. “You need company, Bones. Someone has to make sure that you take care of yourself. And that is me.”
For first time in his life, Leonard didn't know what to say. The idea of Jim moving to take care of him made him feel something warm growing in his chest. On the other hand, he still remembered how had been to share a room with him. It was the memory of the crazy schedules, the noise and the underwear thrown everywhere what made him answer. “No,” he said dryly.
“Yes,” replied Jim nonchalantly. “M'Benga agrees with me. I spoke with him a while ago and he is worried about you too. So, it is your decision. You can be nice and agree with us or he can make it an order. Hell! I can make it an order too.”
And they would do it, Leonard didn't doubt it. It was sad. He'd always thought that he could trust in Geoffrey, but it seemed he was wrong. “This is a small cabin, Jim,” he argued. “We're going to be crowded.”
Jim looked around and then shrugged. “Our dorm at the Academy wasn't bigger than this. And most of the crew shares smaller cabins. We can stay in mine, if you want, but I thought that you would be more comfortable here, with your things around you and near sickbay.”
That was true. And Leonard had to admit it that, just for once, the kid was being thoughtful. “You sleep in the couch,” he groaned finally.
“That isn't a problem. Your couch is more comfortable than mine.” Jim sat near Leonard. “I don't understand why. I'm the captain, after all. I should have better furniture.”
“Probably because I do not...” Leonard stopped and made a face. “What's that?”
“What?” asked Jim looking around.
“Can you not feel it? It smells... funny.
“Funny? I don't smell anything strange.” Jim moved closer to Bones, sniffling around. Leonard jumped away from him.
“Damn it, Jim! What have you been doing? You smell really bad.”
“Me?” Jim raised an arm and sniffled the sleeve of his uniform. “I do not smell anything,” he said confused.
“It is really nasty. The least that you can do is take a shower, or something, before going up to the bridge.”
“Seriously, Bones. I don't think it's so bad. I've spoken with a lot of people this morning and nobody has said anything. I've spent half an hour in Scotty's office and he hasn't...”
“Jim, I'm going to puke.” And he wasn't joking. Probably the damned Scot had something cooking in that still that he officially didn't have but all the crew knew he hid in Engineering and the stink had rubbed on the kid's clothes, it was turning his stomach.
“All right! All right! I got it. Shower. Not a problem.” Jim disappeared into the bathroom so fast that it could had been funny if not because he was feeling sick. The nausea started to disappear as soon as the captain went out of the room and by the time he was back, wearing a clean uniform and with his hair still wet, Leonard felt normal again.
They went together to get some breakfast in the mess. After that, Bones headed to sickbay and Jim went up to the bridge and their paths didn't cross again the rest of the day. When Leonard went back to his cabin that night, Jim was already there, reading something in his PADD with a cup of coffee in his hand. Then he felt it again.
“What?” Jim asked when he looked up and saw Bones standing by the door.
“Jim...” Leonard started.
“You cannot be serious. Not again,” Jim complained. But Leonard could not be more serious. He had the feeling that he could be turning green and probably it was true, because the captain sighed and put the PADD aside. “Oh, I'm going. Don’t worry,” he said standing up and heading resignedly to the bathroom.”
*&*&*&*&*&
All the crew of the Enterprise knew that it wasn't probable to find doctor McCoy in any of the observation decks. Everybody knew that, if he could avoid it, he preferred not to see the darkness around them. Nobody looked for him near a window. Therefore, the observation deck near the medical bay had become Leonard's favorite hiding place.
It had never been a very popular place in first place. It was small, far from the more crowded halls of the ship and Leonard had heard that it was the one with the worse sight in the Enterprise. Since he always sat with the back toward the window, that wasn't a problem for him.
Privacy, however, was something he was really grateful for. Since the nightmare in Vemir, privacy was getting scarcer and scarcer in his life. It was hard to keep secrets in the small world of sickbay and, in spite of M'Benga and Chapel's best efforts; it had been a few days before all his staff knew what was happening. It wasn't that Leonard doubted about their discretion. They were his people. He had chosen and trained them. He would trust them with his life without a doubt. What he couldn't stand was all that agitation and fuss over him.
Of course all the discretion in the galaxy hadn't been any good when he could no longer hide the changes in his body. Leonard still smiled when he remembered the expression on the face of the quartermaster when he had requested a new uniform. Jim and Spock had been with him at that moment. Jim had refused to miss the show and Leonard was sure that even the Vulcan had had problems keeping the impassive expression.
After that, he had felt more and more eyes following him in the halls. He had expected questions and comments, but everybody seemed to be going out of their way to not annoy him. Jim said it was because the crew respected him too much to take the risk of offending him, but Leonard was sure that the captain, or maybe Spock, had threatened serious repercussions to whoever dare to bother him.
Even so, the eyes were there, following him, and it was irritating. Sometimes he simply needed to be far from everything and from everybody and that little observation deck was the perfect refuge. Leonard didn't doubt that Jim knew exactly where he was hiding, but until that moment he hadn't said anything and he felt grateful about it. To tell the truth, there were a lot of things he had to thank Jim for. So many that he didn't know where to begin. Jim had been there for weeks, watching over what he ate and what he didn't eat. He made him rest when Leonard wasn't ready to admit that he was exhausted. He did everything possible to keep Bones from obsessing over his problem and had listened whenever Leonard needed to speak.
The captain had become accustomed to doing his paperwork in the doctor's cabin. For some weeks, he had endured that Leonard sent him to the shower two, three or even four times every day. It was absurd and the doctor knew that the smell wasn't real, but he could not avoid feeling sick when Jim was near him and the captain had been amazingly patient about it. Just like he had stood his moods and his frustration every time that the investigation ended in a dead end.
Sure, Leonard had not done any less for his ex wife when she was pregnant, but Jim wasn't his husband. He was his captain and his best friend and, if Leonard ever gathered the courage to speak, maybe something more, but hardly the father of his children.
He was wondering if, in his case, the word 'father' fitted him, or V'Miriel, or some unknown officer of Starfleet when the door opened and someone came into the room. He didn't need to look to know who the newly arrived was. He listened to Jim's steps and felt him to sit in the floor next to him.
“What has happened?
Leonard didn't ask what he meant. In the last weeks, M'Benga had devoted so many hours as him to look for a way to revert what V'Miriel had done. He didn't even want to think about the time that Spock had spent in a lab trying to help them. Jim had been as eager as him to find a solution. And when they finally thought that they could do it, when M'Benga believed that he could extract the second reproductive system without risking McCoy's life, what had he done? He had refused the surgery. He could understand why Jim was confused. He was confused as hell too.
“I can’t do it,” he said finally.
“Of course you can,” Jim replied reassuringly. “I understand that you’re scared, but M'Benga says that you have looked into every eventuality, every detail that can fail. And Spock estimates that the chances of success are near ninety percent, Bones. Everything will be fine.”
That wasn't what worried Leonard, but he reacted instinctively to the Vulcan's calculation. “Near ninety? That would be fine if we were speaking about routine surgery or if my life was in an imminent risk, but this isn't so easy. We're speaking about a theoretical technique that we haven't been able to try, on a tissue that we had never seen before, that can compromise most of my vital organs. And you have to be aware that M'Benga'll be the only doctor on the ship. My nurses are wonderful, but they're nurses. If complications arise... I don't need to explain you where the Enterprise is. He'll be on his own.” Leonard stopped when he felt Jim tensing next to him. “I'm not saying that it won't go fine. Only that it won't be easy.”
“We aren't far from Star Base 37 and they have a good medical team,” Jim frowned. “We could be there in two days and M'Benga would have all the help he could need.”
“I thought we were on our way to meet the Ambassador of Vulcan for the diplomatic talks with Cardassia,” Leonard replied.
“To hell with that! It’s Spock, Bones. The old Spock, I mean. And we have three weeks before those talks with Cardassia begin. He only wants to spend some time on the Enterprise. If we strain the engines, just a little, we can get him, stop in the base and meet the Cardassians in time. In fact, if we were late, I'm sure that he would help us to find a good excuse. For you he would do it. I don't know what was going between you in that other universe,” Jim added with a cheeky smile, “but he really likes you.”
“Don't do that, kid,” Leonard grimaced. “That could work, but you could finish being court martialed.”
“That doesn't matter. I'll make that Chekov set a new course,” Jim discarded the objection and started to stand up. Leonard held his arm and forced him to sit again.
“Damn, Jim! Of course it matters. You know how many people are out there, waiting for you to screw up.” That was true. Not all the Admiralty had agreed in handing over the command of the Enterprise to Jim. Many thought that to appoint someone as young as Jim captain of the flagship was excessive, in spite of his merits. And although they still weren't brave enough to speak aloud, Leonard was sure that they only were waiting that time when Jim took a false step to do something on the matter. “Don't risk your career unless it is by something that is really worth the trouble.”
“Something that’s worth the trouble?” Jim seemed incredulous, almost indignant. “What the hell are you talking about? I can have another ship, even if I have to leave Starfleet, but I cannot have another Bones. I won't risk losing you. I'm not going to lose you. I love you and if I have to take a small risk like that to keep you with me, I swear to you that...” He stopped when he heard Bones gasp. “What?”
"Repeat that," Leonard asked.
“I can have another ship, Bones," Jim explained. "They aren't going to take this one away from me, I'm sure of it. In the last two years we have made merits enough for Starfleet to ignore that we take the long way to obey an order, but even if...”
“Not that,” interrupted McCoy. “Later.”
Jim shrugged and continued. “If I have to leave Starfleet, it wouldn't be so bad. They haven't got the exclusive of the starships in the galaxy. Even outside the Federation...”
“Jim!” It was hard to see it in the room in shadows, but Leonard was almost sure that the captain had blushed.
“I love you, all right?” Jim admitted reluctant. “I have loved you for a long time, but that doesn’t matter now. I don't mind if you don't feel the same. If all I can have is your friendship that is enough for me.”
“Maybe for you, but not for me,” Leonard held out his hand to erase the wrinkle in Jim's brow. “I love you too.”
Jim shook his head. “You don't need to say that, Bones. I know that you love me as a friend, maybe even as a brother, but you don't have to...”
“You idiot” Leonard mumbled. Then he put a hand in the back of Jim's neck and leaned forward to kiss him. It was a short kiss, almost violent, enough to make the impression of warm, wet, surprisingly soft lips. “As if you could make me say something that I don't mean. If I say that I love you, it's because I love you. Is that clear?”
“Clear as water,” smiled Jim. This time it was him who started the kiss. And this time it lasted enough for them enjoy it. Lips moving, tongues exploring and caressing. Jim's taste filling Leonard's mouth. Eyes still closed while they panted heavily, short of breath. “I am going back to the bridge,” said Jim when he could to speak again. “The sooner we change our course, the better.”
“No! Wait,” Leonard objected.
“It won't take much, Bones. I'll be back in your cabin in a moment,” Jim smiled and brushed a new kiss in Leonard's lips.
“No, you don't understand it,” Leonard put his arms around Jim's waist, preventing him from moving. “We don't need to alter our course. Not yet.”
Jim looked into his eyes for a long moment, and when he was sure that the doctor wasn't going to change his mind, he sighed. “All right. Explain that to me.”
Leonard took a deep breath, not knowing where to start. When he finally spoke, what came out of his mouth was unexpected. “Jocelyn didn't want Joana.”
“Your ex?” asked Jim, confused. Bones was always happy to speak about his little girl, but they could be counted with the fingers of a hand the times he had pronounced the name of his ex-wife since he and Jim had met.
“It wasn't in our plans,” Leonard nodded. “Not at that moment. She had got her degree less than a month before and wanted to wait a couple of years, to find a job, to start her career before thinking about having kids. I wasn't in a hurry to be a father either, I didn't mind waiting. But then she got pregnant and all our plans went to hell. Jocelyn didn't want a baby and I couldn't bear the idea of losing her...”
Leonard stopped for a moment and Jim could listen him swallow. “I will save you the nasty details. In the end, she only agreed to have Joana because she thought that our marriage would break if she didn't. Is not that it lasted much anyway,” he added with a trace of bitterness in his voice.
“Are you comparing your situations?” Jim asked astonished. “Bones, they aren't similar at all.”
“Do you think so?” Leonard was, obviously, not convinced.
“Of course not. You were married, Bones. You were planning to have children someday. You cannot compare it with being kidnapped by a crazy alien scientist who plays to be god with your body.”
“They moved, Jim.” The wonder was clear in Leonard's voice. “This morning, while I was in the shower. I felt them move for first time. They have been doing it all day and it's... I can’t explain it. I can’t stop thinking about Joana and when she began to move inside Jocelyn and my baby is the best thing that has ever happened to me. If there's a chance that I can keep these two,” he said staring straight into Jim's eyes. “I want to try it.”
“M'Benga says that no man has ever survived to something like that,” Jim said carefully.
“I know.” Leonard shifted to take Jim's hand and intertwine their fingers. “There're nine other cases of male pregnancy in Starfleet Medical data bases. I have studied all of them. The nine times things started to go wrong after the second month because the body rejected the embryo. Like it happened centuries ago with organ transplants,” he explained. “None of the nine went further the fourth month and all of them showed symptoms of problems long before. We know that isn't happening with me.”
“Is it not happening?” Jim made some fast mental calculations. “It has only been two months and eleven days since we left Vemir.”
“I know, but the rate of growth of both fetus is faster than the normal. For all intents and purposes they're in the fifth month and there aren't symptoms of rejection. I'm tired, my hormones are out of control and I don't need to tell you about my mood changes,” Leonard said with a little smile. “But all of that is...”
“To be expected?” Jim rolled his eyes.
“To be expected,” confirmed Leonard. “I hate to say this, Jim, but at the moment that woman has shown that she knew what she was doing. If things go wrong later...” Jim's fingers tightened over his and Leonard returned the squeeze, reassuringly. “Judging by what we have seen until now, it must not be different if we try to extract it now or later. We can wait.”
In the silence that followed, Leonard almost could hear the noise of Jim's brain at work, considering all the options. “You'll allow M'Benga to decide if your health is at risk and terminate the pregnancy if he must,” finally the captain said. Leonard knew him well enough to be sure that it wasn't a good idea to argue with Jim when he spoke in that tone. Besides, he preferred to focus his effort in avoiding to get to that situation. “And you'll follow his instructions. Everyone of them. Without complaining.”
“All right” Jim looked at Leonard as if he was trying to decide if he could trust in him or not and, suddenly, he smiled. “So, when do you guess we will have the babies here?”
“We?” Leonard asked arching an eyebrow
“We. You said you love me, so now you are going to put up with me. And that means the babies too. So it's better if I make a respectable man of you and we set the things clear from the start.”
“If that’s a proposal, kid,” Leonard snorted, hiding a smile, “let me say that it is the most pathetic I have ever heard. You are going to need a better one if you want me to accept.”
Jim ignored the protest and shrugged. “You'll have it. We'll wait until the babies are born, and then I'll ask Spock to babysit one night and will propose to you again.”
“No way. If you think that I am going to allow that walking Vulcan computer babysit my children, you are...” This time was Jim who shut him up with a kiss. And, just for once, Leonard decided that he wasn't interested in arguing.
*&*&*&*&*&
The first thing Jim saw when he went into sickbay was Bones. He was standing near a biobed, treating a burn in cadet Moya's arm and, after a fast look over his shoulder to see who had arrived and a brief smile, he returned to work.
M'Benga had cleared him for work the day before and Jim was more than happy to lean on the nurse’s desk and watch him. It was the first time the cadet was off planet and Bones was being unusually kind while he tried to instill in her the importance of following all the security protocols when working with chemical agents. It was great to see him like that. He still felt sick when he remembered how close he had been to losing him.
In the end, Bones had been right. The second reproductive system had been stable until the end of the pregnancy and, although M'Benga had ordered him complete rest for almost three weeks, everything had gone well. Or as well as things could go when Leonard McCoy was confined for days to his bed or his couch, wearing a medical bracelet that sent his vital signs to sickbay every thirty minutes.
The babies had arrived before their time, but M'Benga had assured them that, being twins, it wasn't strange and they didn't need to worry. Just in case Jim, with the help of Scotty, Spock and Pike, had scheduled an upgrade of the warp core in Star Base 23, known for its excellent medical facilities, as soon as M'Benga had reported that the birth was imminent.
The cesarean had been fast and successful and Jim had been with Bones when he had held his children for first time. It had been only for a moment, because the little girl had respiratory problems and had to be placed in an incubator as soon as possible, and then Jim had gone with the nurses who cared of the babies while M'Benga and the medical team of the base started to work in the extraction of the second reproductive system.
Jim had never felt too comfortable with the idea of Bones keeping the twins. Truth be told, he had never been around kids, and no one in his right mind would consider Winona and Frank paternal figures to imitate, so he didn't know what to expect. But the only place where he had wanted to be while Bones was in surgery had been with them. He had almost feared that somebody would throw him out of the room but nobody had bothered him. Contrary to his expectations, a nurse had put little David and a bottle in his arms and stayed near them until she had been sure that they got on well. Then she had gone and left them alone to wait for Bones' return.
The captain had known that Bones' surgery would take some hours but in reality it was several days before he saw him awake again. Something had gone wrong, really wrong, while they tried to separate the alien tissue from a lung and the attempts to stabilize him had led to a serious internal hemorrhage and multi organ failure. Bones had been officially dead for three minutes and four seconds. Jim preferred not to think about it. On board the Enterprise, that situation would have ended in disaster. In the base, with a whole team of surgeons taking care of things, they had barely kept Bones alive.
For six days, Bones had stayed recovering in a stasis chamber and, while Spock and Scotty took care of the Enterprise, Jim had spent all that time with him or with the babies. The doctors said that they seemed calmer when he was close and Jim felt better being near them. When Bones had finally woken up, the three had been there, waiting to take him back to the Enterprise.
They had left the Star Base 23 a month before and, that morning, M'Benga had allowed Bones return to work. Just for once, the doctor hadn't protested and Jim had nothing to reproach him. He himself never had thought that he could spend so much time observing two sleeping children without being bored.
When Jim thought about the babies, his eyes went automatically to the open door of the CMO's office. He left Bones taking care of cadet Moya's arm and went to the two little cribs that had been settled against the back wall, where Bones or one of the nurses could always keep an eye on them.
David slept, holding tight to the rag bunny that Sulu had given him, sucking lightly the point of one of the long ears. He resembled Bones so much that Jim could not avoid smiling every time he looked at him. The same dark hair, the same nose, the same perfect little mouth, even the same frown when he got angry or focused in something truly important, as finding a piece of the bunny's ear that he hadn't sucked before.
Jim couldn't think about anything better than his own tiny little Bones to spoil. He gently caressed the baby's cheek with a finger, tucked his blanket in a litter better and turned to the second crib. Sam was fully awake and stared him with her big gray eyes.
“Is she still awake?” came Bones' voice from the door.
“Of course,” Jim answered quietly, holding out a finger for her to grab. “You know her. She isn't going to sleep until she is really tired. This is too peaceful for her.”
Bones snorted and went to stand next to Jim. “If I didn't know it wasn’t possible, I would swear she has Kirk's genes.”
“It's your fault,” Jim smiled proudly. Bones knew the feeling. Joana had had him wrapped around her little finger as soon as she had looked at him for first time and things weren't any different with Sam. Or with David. “It was you who gave her my brother's name. What did you expect?”
“I don't know.” Bones pretended to think about it. “Maybe we should change her name.”
“No way.” Jim leaned over the crib, wrapped the baby in her blanket, and picked her up. “She only needs a little bit of fun and then she'll be ready to rest. I'll take her with me to the bridge and will bring her back to you when she is asleep.”
“Do you think that's a good idea?”
“Bones, my baby girl is going to be captain of a starship when she grows up. The sooner she learns, the better” Jim smiled, settling her better in his arms. “What do you think, honey? Do you want to be a starship captain?”
“It is good to know. But, isn’t she t a little young to be planning her future?
“Of course not. Never is too soon for that, Bones. Are you going to kiss her good bye?”
“Sure,” Leonard smiled kissing the little red haired head. “Behave, you two.”
“We'll see what we can do. By the way,” Jim said, stopping by the door. “Don’t make plans for tonight. Spock is going to look after the children. You and I have a date.”
He moved away, smiling as he listened to Bones' protests. Definitely, things could not be better.