Permit me to freak out for a moment....
Then I'll drink my tea and try to calm the heck down, because I know freaking out isn't actually helping me. At the moment, I'm just trying to get it out of my system so the butterflies will go away and stop bothering me and then maybe I can eat something--or not.
Ok, first off let me explain that I have nothing to worry about. I know my stuff. I test well. I'll be fine.
The problem is that while I KNOW it, I'm having a bit of a hard time convincing the rest of myself of this simple fact. Shaun can attest to this, as I kinda freaked out on him last night (sorry about that!).
What am I talking about? This afternoon I am going up to Concord for my National Certification Exam in Theraputic Massage and Bodywork.
I am more anxious about this than I was about any standardized test I took in high school, and I have no idea why. (Oh, and the hs tests were a cinch. I forgot my calculator for the PSAT and still got 220 out of a max 240.)
My exam starts in about 4 hours, and I have no idea how to study.
There is a LOT of stuff on this exam! Kinesiology, Myology, medical terms, action-origin-insertion, Asian Therapy, ethics, anatomy and physiology, meridians....
I have to be able to remember where all the meridians start and end! And I can't find my notebook with the notes that let me ace my Asian Therapys final! All I can find is one quiz on the meridians and their start/end points! So that's about all I have to work from. Well, that and Tappen's, which tends to be highly unhelpful. The notebook would certainly be MUCH more helpful, and of course I'll probably find it sometime later on this week, when it won't actually do me any good anymore. Oh! And I need to know something about the chakras, but I'm not sure what, and I can't remember which direction they spin!
OK, hopefully I can just write off Ethics as self-explainatory, and hopefuly I'll remember all the AOIs I need. I should go over that again. It might help a LOT if I knew how the heck to cram!! But I never learned how to study, much less cram! Write a 20-page paper in 24 hours, yes, but cram, NO!
Oh, and it kinda doesn't help at all that this whole place is so much of a mess. I went out to make tea earlier and the sink is chock full of dishes again! Which ment I couldn't refill the kettle. And there's pots and stuff scattered on the stove! Everything is such a mess, and it's not just the kitchen, my room is a wreck too--thus my inability to locate the notebook I want. And the birds are racketous and I forgot to water my plant!!!!
Oh, and there's no one here to help me calm down. Everyone else is at work.
And I have no idea about the actual plans for getting me up TO my test in Concord. I know Dad is going to take me at some point, but I don't know what point. And I don't know who's going to bring me from home to where dad works.
This whole thing is just so much more mess than it ought to be. The getting there thing wouldn't even be an issue if Shaun's boss had given him the day off like he asked for--but that ended up not happening, and I couldn't've asked him to get that fixed anyhow. He's already missed a day this week because of me, and I cannot ask him to miss another. I'm just freaking out.
The worst part is that I KNOW there's nothing to flip out over, and thus there's no reason for my anxiety attacks, which only serves to make them worse as I know they're completely groundless, and I can't seem to figure out how the heck to stop!
I'll be fine once I go in to actually take the test. This is like my frist year in OM, when we went to states, and I was all freaked out beforehand and then did fine once we actually got to the performance.
Maybe it's just the thought of how much of my plans are riding on getting my licence, and how important this is to my doing exactly that. Getting my licence will open a way for me to get a better income, it'll be somewhat steady, and I can start working for myself.
I'm just really freaked out right now and I can't really explain why. I have no idea. I just am flipping out over this exam that I KNOW I can pass easily. I know my stuff. I test well. I'll be fine! And my licence will just be a matter of getting through red tape to take the state exam.
OK, I need to stop this and drink some tea. I need to calm down, cool down, and go over things again for a bit. Then I need to pack my pockets and find my shoes and such.
I have everything together that I need. I just need to reassure myself that I have what I need and that I'll be fine.
I need a hug. That'd calm me down a lot.
Please send me good wishes? Especially between 4pm and 7pm today when I'll be actually taking the test.
Thanks for letting me rant.
Ok, first off let me explain that I have nothing to worry about. I know my stuff. I test well. I'll be fine.
The problem is that while I KNOW it, I'm having a bit of a hard time convincing the rest of myself of this simple fact. Shaun can attest to this, as I kinda freaked out on him last night (sorry about that!).
What am I talking about? This afternoon I am going up to Concord for my National Certification Exam in Theraputic Massage and Bodywork.
I am more anxious about this than I was about any standardized test I took in high school, and I have no idea why. (Oh, and the hs tests were a cinch. I forgot my calculator for the PSAT and still got 220 out of a max 240.)
My exam starts in about 4 hours, and I have no idea how to study.
There is a LOT of stuff on this exam! Kinesiology, Myology, medical terms, action-origin-insertion, Asian Therapy, ethics, anatomy and physiology, meridians....
I have to be able to remember where all the meridians start and end! And I can't find my notebook with the notes that let me ace my Asian Therapys final! All I can find is one quiz on the meridians and their start/end points! So that's about all I have to work from. Well, that and Tappen's, which tends to be highly unhelpful. The notebook would certainly be MUCH more helpful, and of course I'll probably find it sometime later on this week, when it won't actually do me any good anymore. Oh! And I need to know something about the chakras, but I'm not sure what, and I can't remember which direction they spin!
OK, hopefully I can just write off Ethics as self-explainatory, and hopefuly I'll remember all the AOIs I need. I should go over that again. It might help a LOT if I knew how the heck to cram!! But I never learned how to study, much less cram! Write a 20-page paper in 24 hours, yes, but cram, NO!
Oh, and it kinda doesn't help at all that this whole place is so much of a mess. I went out to make tea earlier and the sink is chock full of dishes again! Which ment I couldn't refill the kettle. And there's pots and stuff scattered on the stove! Everything is such a mess, and it's not just the kitchen, my room is a wreck too--thus my inability to locate the notebook I want. And the birds are racketous and I forgot to water my plant!!!!
Oh, and there's no one here to help me calm down. Everyone else is at work.
And I have no idea about the actual plans for getting me up TO my test in Concord. I know Dad is going to take me at some point, but I don't know what point. And I don't know who's going to bring me from home to where dad works.
This whole thing is just so much more mess than it ought to be. The getting there thing wouldn't even be an issue if Shaun's boss had given him the day off like he asked for--but that ended up not happening, and I couldn't've asked him to get that fixed anyhow. He's already missed a day this week because of me, and I cannot ask him to miss another. I'm just freaking out.
The worst part is that I KNOW there's nothing to flip out over, and thus there's no reason for my anxiety attacks, which only serves to make them worse as I know they're completely groundless, and I can't seem to figure out how the heck to stop!
I'll be fine once I go in to actually take the test. This is like my frist year in OM, when we went to states, and I was all freaked out beforehand and then did fine once we actually got to the performance.
Maybe it's just the thought of how much of my plans are riding on getting my licence, and how important this is to my doing exactly that. Getting my licence will open a way for me to get a better income, it'll be somewhat steady, and I can start working for myself.
I'm just really freaked out right now and I can't really explain why. I have no idea. I just am flipping out over this exam that I KNOW I can pass easily. I know my stuff. I test well. I'll be fine! And my licence will just be a matter of getting through red tape to take the state exam.
OK, I need to stop this and drink some tea. I need to calm down, cool down, and go over things again for a bit. Then I need to pack my pockets and find my shoes and such.
I have everything together that I need. I just need to reassure myself that I have what I need and that I'll be fine.
I need a hug. That'd calm me down a lot.
Please send me good wishes? Especially between 4pm and 7pm today when I'll be actually taking the test.
Thanks for letting me rant.