Blurb 4: Spontaneity
Something that I really find myself missing right now is spontaneity. Life seemed to have an abundance of it in college (back in those distant but near good 'ol days). It wasn't uncommon to decide suddenly to have a movie party, go get doughnuts or grab a beer at a moment's notice. All my friends were close at hand and people often stayed up really late at night and were quick to welcome distraction from academic responsibility. Since graduation I feel structure has replaced fluidity and routine has taken over impulse. Its not as bad as it could be... I don't work a steady 9 to 5, nor do I have the same schedule every week. Some nights I work to 130am... other days I'm off before dinner. I guess its all relative, but the lack of spontaneity in my life right now is rather frightening and I fear its only going to get worse. I see my friends getting settled into routine... into committed relationships... into marriages and "lives" where things need to be carefully planned, penciled and adjusted... where spur of the moment is replaced by dental appointments, client meetings, soccer practice and dinner parties. That's not my life yet, but I fear that's where its headed. I can be spontaneous on my own right now if I decided... its still an acceptable hour to run to the store for some late night treat, but its just not appealing without and accomplice.
I'm still able to bring a little spontaneity in my life with some local friends I have here in south county. Sometimes I ring them up to go grab coffee or to play some video games, but overall its not the same. I guess that's the nature of college, the last real time you have as an adult to do the irresponsible thing and its still acceptable. No, its not a good idea to go to a stranger's house party... but in college its ok. Its probably not a good idea to get giggling drunk and have to crash at your friend's house cause you can't walk in a straight line... but in college that was alright. Now if you go around kissing random dudes you're some kind of a ho, but those university kids have got it made. But even as a college graduate I don't find myself ready for most adult responsible activities. I don't want to be married right now, I don't want a family right away and I don't want to have to turn down a doughnut run at 10pm because of whatever I have planned for tomorrow. Perhaps I'm feeling unfulfilled because my life doesn't seem to fit whatever mold society is trying to fit it in. I'm not in college anymore... yet I seem to be lacking many post-college qualities... Job yes... whatever else... no. I suppose I'm just not ready to grow up and surrender my spur of the moment right yet.
I'm still able to bring a little spontaneity in my life with some local friends I have here in south county. Sometimes I ring them up to go grab coffee or to play some video games, but overall its not the same. I guess that's the nature of college, the last real time you have as an adult to do the irresponsible thing and its still acceptable. No, its not a good idea to go to a stranger's house party... but in college its ok. Its probably not a good idea to get giggling drunk and have to crash at your friend's house cause you can't walk in a straight line... but in college that was alright. Now if you go around kissing random dudes you're some kind of a ho, but those university kids have got it made. But even as a college graduate I don't find myself ready for most adult responsible activities. I don't want to be married right now, I don't want a family right away and I don't want to have to turn down a doughnut run at 10pm because of whatever I have planned for tomorrow. Perhaps I'm feeling unfulfilled because my life doesn't seem to fit whatever mold society is trying to fit it in. I'm not in college anymore... yet I seem to be lacking many post-college qualities... Job yes... whatever else... no. I suppose I'm just not ready to grow up and surrender my spur of the moment right yet.