God works 9 to 5
I had a dream that God was an extremely boring middleaged man who lived with his mother. His name was Kamisama and he and his mother lived in a boarding house (my house) along with his boss, Megumi, and coworker, Death the Kidd, from the company he worked for. A foreign spy lived in a secret room in the basement, but he was so boring that the spy didn't care that he knew about him and sometimes they would have long conversations about how Kamisama was unhappy with his life.
Kamisama was a pushover and did everything his mother said without protest even though he hated most of it. Every day she made him a ham and cheese sandwich on wheat bread to take with him for lunch to work. Kamisama had been eating the same ham and cheese sandwich on wheat bread every singe day for the last 20 years and it was probably the thing he hated most. One day, he was eating his sandwich and Death the Kidd was watching. Death the Kidd had the power to reposition the universe to be centered around whatever and right now it was centered around Kamisama (naturally) but that made him very insecure. So Kamisama was pleading with Kidd to reposition it to be centered around the Sun because that's what everyone thought it should be centered on anyway. After many miserable explanations about why Kamisama couldn't deal with being the center of the universe, and several attempts by Kidd to just recenter it on him, Kidd gave in and moved the center of the universe to the Sun.
(Just a side note about what repositioning the universe looked like: Kid would gather up the fabric of space into a 2 foot in diameter disk that sort of reminded me of a single layer of dry white latex paint. The disk was so thin, that it was almost a singularity. He would then wrap it around the subject that was going to be the center like plastic wrap, this meant pressing it over Kamisama's face until it stretched and coated every surface of his body, including going in through his mouth, eyes, nose, and ears.)
After that whole ordeal, Kamisama was in a slightly better mood than he usually was because he didn't have to worry about the universe being centered on him, so he went to talk to the foreign spy while finishing off his ham and cheese sandwich on wheat bread. I'm not sure but I believe they talked about how uncomfortable the spy's living conditions were (they were very cramped) and how his superiors had told him that he could only drink water that he had hidden in the heater in the utility room down the hall. Then the spy told Kamisama that he had gotten a free frozen turkey from the super market and had put it in the freezer and aked if that was ok, but this worried Kamisama very much because he knew that if his mother saw the turkey, she would make it for dinner and he really hated turkey.
Kamisama then went upstairs to check to see if it was sufficiently hidden in the back of the freezer. Megumi was in the kitchen and agreed that it would be best if his mother didn't make the turkey because then there would be a lot of left overs for a long time and no one in the house really like turkey all that much. Then a narrator's voice came on and said something like
"Megumi already had no choice but to eat shrimp and ham because of how Kamisama's mother kept them available at all times.This was bad because he had an almost chronic fear of both of these meats. If he could avoid it, he'd like not not have to eat another meat that turned him off and he was at least glad that someone agreed with him on how turkey, shrimp, and ham tasted. Kamisama and he were in the same boat."
For the rest of the dream, they sat at the kitchen table silently bonding over their shared dislike for turkey, shrimp, and ham.
End.