(no subject)
I know I have been scarce for a week or so...life has been super busy with covering for my boss being out of town and stuff.
Anyways, last night I had an epic dream. Like I was on a journey to find something which was going to take years. I amnot even sure what I was looking for. But I was a blonde, waif like little slip of a girl traveling alone across the frozen expanse of Siberia. I started out by sneaking onto 40' sailboat and taking the place of the aft port man. There was this port that I could slip through easy as pie. I couldn't imagine the man I had replaced lumbering in and out of the tiny opening. The captain was amazed at my agility and grace. In and Out, Up and Down to adjust equipment and check the results I went. We were following another clipper and the captains were yelling back and forth. The wind was light but enough to make leaving the narrow port a challenge. The water inside the port was smooth as glass, without a single wake or ripple to be seen. We exited the port and veered hard to starboard. As we pulled out, we encountered a large wake coming up against our starboard from a second even smaller gap in the stone wall surrounding the port. It seemed it might capsize us but the ship just bobbled a little and kept on with the help of the gale of wind that had somehow start the moment we left the safety of the harbor. One of the men went to raise the second sheet which was met with incredulous, incoherent yelling of the captain. I could see the folly of attempting to use more wind than the ship could handle. Did he want to tear the boat to pieces for the sake of saving a few minutes or maybe an hour on our journey? In and out of day and weeks, and a little over a year and we ended up at the edge of Russia. At least that was how it felt. I bade the captain farewell and he bade me safe journeys and asked me to look for him should I need return passage or passage anywhere once again. Somehow, the entire city where I was deposited was underground, so looking at the city from the port my sight was a vast emptyiness covered in snow and ice. So white and pristine I was almost blinded by the sight.
I don't have time to finish, but the next part was riding in a subway and then swimming across a frozen lake looking for a small abandoned island.
Overall the dream was strangely poetic and stark. There was an intense feeling of emptiness and expanse of the world in much of it. I felt alone even when surrounding by people. I felt I could not tell anyone what I was doing or I would be at risk or the sactinity of my journey would be compromised. I may have felt alone, but for the most part I felt like I could protect myself and my mission.
Anyways, I need to go get ready for work...
Edit to add the rest....
Scene II -- The Train
So then I went down to the city. And the only way to travel around the town is by train which I suppose it is more like a subway since it is underground. But this is the city so it is crowded with people. Everyone keeping a polite distance from each other, never touching, avoiding eye contact, taking no notice of a small girl who looks barely older than a child with pale skin and thin stringy hair. I realize now I am wearing a heavy white wolf fur coat but while the fur coat is no different than the other people around me, the color is. The crowd is dark and dirty, subdued and sullen. I peek at them sideways as the train starts to roll. Stops fly by outside the windows like a slot machine. Its the luck of the draw who gets on and who leaves. And then I realize along the opposite side of the train are drink spigots, kind of like at a fast food place. When the train stops, juice or water flows out. People politely take turns collecting the drink in metal or plastic canteens. I join the queue but as it is my turn I realize that my canteen is still full of fresh water so I try to give my turn to someone else. And that is when the man behind me says, "You're not from around here are you?" If I was, I would certainly not be snubbing the unappealing sugary liquid meekly leaking from the ancient spigot.
"So what if I am not?" I say this, unsure only of how forcefully I should speak.
"Then you should not be in this line anyways. We are not in the habit of supporting forgieners. You don't sound Russian to me."
"Even if I am not from here, how does being born somewhere entitle anyone to be supported by someone else?"
"That is not the point." he says embarassed to be shown up by a young girl.
"Why not? you have no more claim to that juice than I." For a moment, I feel a flash of danger. If he had other people on his side they might rise against my presence.
"Where are you going anyways?" Says an old careworn lady kindly from another spigot.
"Somewhere other than here." I reply evenly and hesitant to say more than I must.
All the people just stare in awkward silence at me or at thier feet wearing threadbare worn out leather shoes. I realize while my shoes are not anything special, they are new. Someone is providing for me and I feel awkward for having ever gotten in line for the juice. The slot machine doors align one last time on a yellow brick wall with black doors through which I silently exit into a harsh cold snowy plain again. No one on the busy full train will miss me or wish I had stayed.
Scene III - The Swim
I slowly move from the dank cellar like subway towards the blindingly blank snow scape trying to force my eyes not to squint at the glare. I hear someone behind me and realize some man had been standing near the exit. "Where will you go little thing?" I know this is what he said but it was not in English.
"I must cross the sea" I reply in the same strange tongue.
"It would be a long swim..."
"Well, I see no boat to carry me..."
We gaze across the expanse and I realize it is not solid as I thought upon first half blind look. it is chunks of ice and slushy half frozen snow slowly collescing and reforming as the wind blows across the top. There are faint lines of sky blue which hide the deep dark navy-colored sea seething under the surface. It will be a slow swim but I know no matter how slow my movements, the important thing is to never stop completely. There is an island on the other side somewhere I need to reach though I am not sure why this destination is so important. I feel the admiration of the man behind and to my left like one feels the warmth of a fire. I do not need to look at him to know he is barely smugly smiling assured that fate has been assuaged by my arrival.
Anyways, last night I had an epic dream. Like I was on a journey to find something which was going to take years. I amnot even sure what I was looking for. But I was a blonde, waif like little slip of a girl traveling alone across the frozen expanse of Siberia. I started out by sneaking onto 40' sailboat and taking the place of the aft port man. There was this port that I could slip through easy as pie. I couldn't imagine the man I had replaced lumbering in and out of the tiny opening. The captain was amazed at my agility and grace. In and Out, Up and Down to adjust equipment and check the results I went. We were following another clipper and the captains were yelling back and forth. The wind was light but enough to make leaving the narrow port a challenge. The water inside the port was smooth as glass, without a single wake or ripple to be seen. We exited the port and veered hard to starboard. As we pulled out, we encountered a large wake coming up against our starboard from a second even smaller gap in the stone wall surrounding the port. It seemed it might capsize us but the ship just bobbled a little and kept on with the help of the gale of wind that had somehow start the moment we left the safety of the harbor. One of the men went to raise the second sheet which was met with incredulous, incoherent yelling of the captain. I could see the folly of attempting to use more wind than the ship could handle. Did he want to tear the boat to pieces for the sake of saving a few minutes or maybe an hour on our journey? In and out of day and weeks, and a little over a year and we ended up at the edge of Russia. At least that was how it felt. I bade the captain farewell and he bade me safe journeys and asked me to look for him should I need return passage or passage anywhere once again. Somehow, the entire city where I was deposited was underground, so looking at the city from the port my sight was a vast emptyiness covered in snow and ice. So white and pristine I was almost blinded by the sight.
I don't have time to finish, but the next part was riding in a subway and then swimming across a frozen lake looking for a small abandoned island.
Overall the dream was strangely poetic and stark. There was an intense feeling of emptiness and expanse of the world in much of it. I felt alone even when surrounding by people. I felt I could not tell anyone what I was doing or I would be at risk or the sactinity of my journey would be compromised. I may have felt alone, but for the most part I felt like I could protect myself and my mission.
Anyways, I need to go get ready for work...
Edit to add the rest....
Scene II -- The Train
So then I went down to the city. And the only way to travel around the town is by train which I suppose it is more like a subway since it is underground. But this is the city so it is crowded with people. Everyone keeping a polite distance from each other, never touching, avoiding eye contact, taking no notice of a small girl who looks barely older than a child with pale skin and thin stringy hair. I realize now I am wearing a heavy white wolf fur coat but while the fur coat is no different than the other people around me, the color is. The crowd is dark and dirty, subdued and sullen. I peek at them sideways as the train starts to roll. Stops fly by outside the windows like a slot machine. Its the luck of the draw who gets on and who leaves. And then I realize along the opposite side of the train are drink spigots, kind of like at a fast food place. When the train stops, juice or water flows out. People politely take turns collecting the drink in metal or plastic canteens. I join the queue but as it is my turn I realize that my canteen is still full of fresh water so I try to give my turn to someone else. And that is when the man behind me says, "You're not from around here are you?" If I was, I would certainly not be snubbing the unappealing sugary liquid meekly leaking from the ancient spigot.
"So what if I am not?" I say this, unsure only of how forcefully I should speak.
"Then you should not be in this line anyways. We are not in the habit of supporting forgieners. You don't sound Russian to me."
"Even if I am not from here, how does being born somewhere entitle anyone to be supported by someone else?"
"That is not the point." he says embarassed to be shown up by a young girl.
"Why not? you have no more claim to that juice than I." For a moment, I feel a flash of danger. If he had other people on his side they might rise against my presence.
"Where are you going anyways?" Says an old careworn lady kindly from another spigot.
"Somewhere other than here." I reply evenly and hesitant to say more than I must.
All the people just stare in awkward silence at me or at thier feet wearing threadbare worn out leather shoes. I realize while my shoes are not anything special, they are new. Someone is providing for me and I feel awkward for having ever gotten in line for the juice. The slot machine doors align one last time on a yellow brick wall with black doors through which I silently exit into a harsh cold snowy plain again. No one on the busy full train will miss me or wish I had stayed.
Scene III - The Swim
I slowly move from the dank cellar like subway towards the blindingly blank snow scape trying to force my eyes not to squint at the glare. I hear someone behind me and realize some man had been standing near the exit. "Where will you go little thing?" I know this is what he said but it was not in English.
"I must cross the sea" I reply in the same strange tongue.
"It would be a long swim..."
"Well, I see no boat to carry me..."
We gaze across the expanse and I realize it is not solid as I thought upon first half blind look. it is chunks of ice and slushy half frozen snow slowly collescing and reforming as the wind blows across the top. There are faint lines of sky blue which hide the deep dark navy-colored sea seething under the surface. It will be a slow swim but I know no matter how slow my movements, the important thing is to never stop completely. There is an island on the other side somewhere I need to reach though I am not sure why this destination is so important. I feel the admiration of the man behind and to my left like one feels the warmth of a fire. I do not need to look at him to know he is barely smugly smiling assured that fate has been assuaged by my arrival.