[KinKi AU] Tangent -- Chapter 4
Sorry for the wait... Inspirations have been elusive, and characterization is crawling out the window. D: Criticism and feedback will be much appreciated.
Disclaimer: This writing is fictional and has no commercial purpose. Characters are real persons belonging to themselves.
Pairing: KinKi Kids
Genre: AU, drama
Rating: G
Summary: Tsuyoshi the hairstylist was contracted to Kouichi the solo artist. Chapter 4: The distance that detoxified one feeling, intensified another.
Previous chapters: 1st Tangent | 2nd Tangent | 3rd Tangent
---
Tangent
4: Land of the Blind
"Excuse me..."
Koyama turned from the towel shelves that he was refilling. "Ah, Matsumoto-kun."
Matsumoto Jun was looking much calmer than the last time Koyama bumped into him in the salon.
"How is it, the session with Kouichi-san?"
Matsujun took a towel out of the rack as Koyama made way for him. "It's all right, I guess. He has only asked for trimming so far... and just treatment for today."
"Eh... but isn't this the third session already?"
"Well, the concert is over. He only has regular programs right now."
Koyama closed the shelves. "It didn't stop Tsuyoshi-kun before..."
"I'm not taking that risk," Matsujun said, slightly apprehensive. "Kouichi-san did say there's no need to change the style."
Koyama gave him a sympathetic look. "Substituting assignments are tough, huh."
"All of the responsibility, and none of the prospect." Matsujun shrugged. "But Tsuyoshi-kun could really use a vacation. He looked downright awful the whole week during the concert."
"True," Koyama agreed. "Not that we saw much of him in those days. The schedule was crazy."
"It *is* of a different level... I too would like an exclusive assignment like that, if I can get my own customer," Matsujun said. "But taking over from Tsuyoshi-kun would be troublesome. It's hard to get out of his shadow."
"Leader didn't say when he would be back?" Koyama asked.
Matsujun shook his head. "That's what I'd like to know too. Kouichi-san keeps asking me about it, even though he tries to be subtle... and Leader always goes suspiciously missing whenever he comes for an appointment."
"Leader must have pulled some strings." Koyama pondered. "But I did hear Tsuyoshi-kun calling personally to the agency, so I assume they settled it amiably."
Matsujun let out a breath. "I do hope Tsuyoshi-kun is not suddenly quitting on me. I don't think Kouichi-san likes me much."
"It can't be about you," Koyama said soothingly. "He never talks much to anyone around here."
"I thought he was okay with you. He probably talks more to you than to me." Matsujun didn't seem too concerned about it, though.
Koyama considered this. "Maybe because I assisted Tsuyoshi-kun a few times? The two of them are usually quite chatty."
"Oh? Then you should probably go out and talk to him. Maybe that'll brighten him up a little."
Koyama scratched his head. "I'm not sure... Most of the time I can't quite follow what he speaks to Tsuyoshi-kun about."
"Is that so?" Matsujun laughed. "Well, I should get back now. The machine's beep cannot be heard from here."
"Okay. Maybe I'll just say hi later."
Matsujun raised a thumb as he left the supply room.
--
"So, what is it? Talk."
Tsuyoshi doodled idly with the hand that was not holding the phone. "I'm fine, Taichi. You're the one who always tell me to make use of my wasted leave entitlement."
"And since when do you listen to me? You were too busy to make the trip with me when I was in Tokyo, and now you're spending a month's vacation at home? I can smell something fishy all the way from here."
Tsuyoshi sighed. "You'll definitely say, 'I told you so'."
"Oh, I will?" Taichi sounded amused. "Since you already know that, why don't you just get on with it?"
Tsuyoshi bit his lips, trying to form a truthful explanation that was mild enough not to send Taichi into an overprotective fit. "My ideas are kind of saturated recently."
"...That is serious, isn't it?" Taichi was concerned.
"Hmm... I guess it's because I've been tired out by the jobs from Kouichi-san's side. We're hoping taking a break will solve that."
"But just that is not good enough, no?" Taichi said. "It won't help if you're back to the same routine once you return to work."
"I'll... probably talk to him then and rework the task division..."
Taichi could hear his reluctance, though. "Tsuyoshi."
"Hm?"
"I think... you should probably consider resigning this assignment altogether."
Tsuyoshi startled. "But it's just--"
"I know it's a very valuable career opportunity, but you and I know you're not in this profession for that."
"I like the job." Tsuyoshi frowned.
"You also like cutting patterns and sewing costumes and such related manual labor, but are those the main point of your creations? You value creativity more than just getting the work done, and from what I see of your current problem, the demands of this assignment just do not fit that objective."
Tsuyoshi was silent. Taichi's words were a perfect stringing of the pieces that had been clouding his thoughts these past weeks, that he himself had been unable --and reluctant-- to put together.
This assignment was a designer's utopia: a model whose image he could shape up completely. It came at a high price, certainly, as it would be meaningless if he didn't assume full responsibility. The way it was now, it wasn't even a choice anymore. His mind had been too fixated on that one image that he couldn't just turn away and go back to freelance styling just like that.
Yet this was also a misguided utopia. Kouichi was not a doll without free will. Disregarding this fact would not work, as their last argument had proven. Given his personality, shedding this mindset wasn't going to be easy as long as he still had his hands on this project.
"I'll think about it," he said slowly.
Taichi breathed, and refrained from saying more. "Well... take your time. Don't rush into any decision. Don't let anyone rush you, either. Even Joushima-san."
"I will," Tsuyoshi promised.
"And call me if you want to talk, anytime, okay? Don't you pull another secretive stunt like this again. If I hadn't happened to call Mother..."
Tsuyoshi couldn't help but laugh despite his gloomy mood. "I can't be placing international calls just to whine to you, Taichi. I need to do my own growing up."
"You're usually fine if you can still talk about it," Taichi said. "So I want you to remember this: the more you don't feel like talking, the more you should call me. You get that?"
"...All right."
"Okay then," Taichi's tone softened. "Enjoy your time at home. I'll definitely go and see you when I'm back in Japan."
"Sure. You take care, too, Taichi."
Tsuyoshi put down the phone. His gaze strayed automatically to the notepad he'd been scribbling on, and he frowned.
The hairline of that face sketch were unmistakably shaped after Doumoto Kouichi's.
Tsuyoshi tore out the page with a sigh. He stood up, and dropped the crumpled paper into the rubbish bin on his way out of the room.
"Mother?" He peered into the kitchen. "Anything I can help you with?"
--
"Okay guys, one more time?" Matsuoka clapped. "Nagase, for the recording, I'll add in the drum beats to your guitar solo after four bars. Will that be better?"
"Yosh, sounds great," Nagase responded brightly. "Hey, we should try to arrange for the live band, too."
"Maybe for some of the venues," Matsuoka said. "And then, Kouichi-kun, please be careful at bar 44, okay? The lyrics are 'your hand in my hand' and not 'your hand in my hair'."
"Sorry," Kouichi said sheepishly. "I'll remember that."
"This guy worries too much about his hair." Nagase poked him. Kouichi responded with an indignant glare.
"Well, *you* scrub your hair with too much effort," Matsuoka commented at Nagase. "I keep thinking the strands will all peel off."
Kouichi laughed. "He spends forever in the shower doing that, doesn't he?"
"Tell me about it. I once had to barge in and drag him out before the tour bus left us behind."
Nagase slapped Matsuoka's lap. "You could've called from the door!"
"The water was too loud. Did I mention you also used too much water?"
"But it's hard to rinse the conditioner off--"
Kouichi half-listened to the banter with slight jealousy. Much as he was close to both of them, he still tended to fade into the background in a group setting. He was more the one-on-one type, when he did socialize.
It didn't bother him usually, but he'd been feeling lonely lately.
"Kou-chan?" Nagase's call brought him back to the present.
"Ah, yes," Kouichi startled. "Let's start, then?"
--
"You've been looking a bit out of it since we started the project," Nagase remarked as they were packing up. "Are you occupied with your solo work?"
"There's nothing much till the filming for a new drama in August," Kouichi replied. "It's the usual. I've always been like this, no?"
"But you've been in better spirits from the start of the year-- ah. That reminds me." Nagase looked around. "Are you going to introduce me to your stylist?"
"Hm?" Matsuoka looked up questioningly.
"A quite formidable guy, from what I heard," Nagase explained with a grin.
"Ah, Tsuyoshi-san is currently on leave," Kouichi's manager spoke up. "We're not quite sure when he'll be back."
"How come?" Matsuoka matched Nagase's frown. "How about his contract?"
Kouichi shrugged. "We made an arrangement. His agency sends a temporary hairstylist, I still have Shinohara for make-up... and I get the staff to handle the miscellaneous tasks. I don't really need much styling for my current projects."
"We should check with him before the drama starts, though," Manager-san said. "If it seems like he is not returning soon, we will need to get somebody else on board."
Kouichi slung his bag on his shoulder rather abruptly. "Shall we make a move?"
"Supper?" Nagase offered, with a searching eye at Kouichi's expression.
"Let's go," Matsuoka accepted readily.
"I'll pass--" Kouichi began, but Nagase draped a pushy arm over his shoulders.
"If we're going, you're going," he said. They couldn't really talk right now, but he could at least try a distraction. "Your skin and hair could use some nutrition!"
Kouichi's protests went ignored in the face of Nagase's brute force persuasion.
--
Tsuyoshi walked along the grassy river side, trying to select a spot. It was still early, and he saw only one other man in the area. Tsuyoshi had often met the uncles he had grown up with fishing in this river, but he didn't recognize this figure.
He was just about to walk past and take up a place further downstream, when he noticed that the man was concentrating on a sketchbook on his lap, while his fishing pole was held up by a pile of rocks beside him.
It was the drawing that captured Tsuyoshi at first glance. "Cool," he breathed.
The man turned his head slowly. He had a very young face, shaded under a hat. The gentle eyes almost disappeared when he smiled. "Thank you."
"It's a... seahorse?" Tsuyoshi asked, concentrating on the shape. It was a very detailed decorative pencil sketch.
The man turned back to his drawing. "I guess that's what it turns out to be... yes."
Tsuyoshi's lips quirked up. "'Turns out to be'?"
He put down his equipments and stepped nearer. On closer inspection, the drawing was made up of various smaller objects and faces, their outlines coming together to form the seahorse. Each piece was drawn in the realistic style.
"I just drew what I felt like, and built the shape as I went along," the man clarified.
"Whoa..."
There was a moment's silence as Tsuyoshi continued to stare at the picture. The man let him, the slight smile remaining on his face while he kept a neutral gaze at Tsuyoshi's general direction and said nothing.
Tsuyoshi snapped out after a while. "I'm sorry, how rude of me. I'm Doumoto Tsuyoshi." He bowed.
The man stood up unhurriedly and returned the bow. "Ohno Satoshi."
"Do you often come here to draw... and fish?" Tsuyoshi asked.
"I come fishing once in a while, when the weather is good," Ohno said. "I just bring my sketchbook along to pass the time."
"That's a very good drawing. Do you draw professionally?"
Ohno nodded. "I do caricatures and comic strips for the local newspaper, and novel illustrations on a commission basis," he answered. "How about you, Doumoto-san?"
"I'm a hairstylist," Tsuyoshi said. The mention of work brought his thoughts to the unresolved problem, which he tried to push to the back of his mind.
"Ah. You seem to be interested in drawing, too?"
"Just as a hobby. My work involves fashion designing at times."
"That sounds interesting," Ohno responded with a friendly smile.
As the man sat back down, Tsuyoshi grabbed his fishing tools and set them down a distance beside his new friend. "Do you mind..."
"No, not at all."
Tsuyoshi began to set up for fishing. Ohno didn't try to talk to him while he was doing so.
When Tsuyoshi was done, he saw that Ohno had gone back to his drawing. He blended into this place very well, Tsuyoshi thought, a friendly but unintrusive quiet presence. But it also made it hard to start a conversation.
Tsuyoshi decided to keep quiet, and watched the water surface. He hadn't brought his own sketchpad, knowing what kind of sketch would turn out again. When he purposely used a starkly different set of features and tried to come up with a style, he would invariably end up with a plain standard cut.
He sighed audibly. Even now the green expansion projected by the moss underwater was starting to look like--
"Are you on vacation, Doumoto-san?"
"Eh?" Tsuyoshi turned. "Ah, yes..."
Ohno smiled at him. "Were you thinking about a serious problem just now?"
His sighing must have been too loud. Tsuyoshi nodded sheepishly. "I'm kind of in a slump," he said honestly. The town, the river, his present company, made him feel it was fine to just speak up.
"Ah," Ohno responded. He didn't seem like a very expressive guy.
"Have you ever got stuck?" Tsuyoshi asked curiously.
Ohno pondered briefly. "At times I can think of nothing that I'd like to draw, so then I will not draw anything."
"Ehhh? But if you don't draw..."
"Like fishing, it comes when it comes," Ohno said serenely. "There is no point in getting impatient."
"But don't you have deadlines? What would you do then?"
"Then I sit down and draw," Ohno answered simply.
Tsuyoshi looked at him, half-confused, half-amused. Such a laid-back answer... "And if you can't think of anything...?"
"I start with a few lines..." Ohno gestured with his hand. "Then they will come as I continue. Well, sometimes they do turn out differently than the topic requested, so I have to start again."
Tsuyoshi thought about it. "If I do the same thing, I always end up with the same old styles."
"But if you start with different lines, they will of course turn out differently," Ohno said.
"Ah, no, this is probably a different process..."
"Oh, sorry, I'm not familiar with hairstyling work. Do you draw out the haircut or...?"
"Mm... we usually have models with various types of hair, various face features... then we come up with styles for them. There will usually be themes like 'school' or 'party' or 'summer'."
"I see," Ohno said. "Then is the problem that you keep getting the same model and theme?"
Tsuyoshi paused to recall. It had happened before and it had gone well as far as he remembered. "There can still be different styles even then. The model will be in a different mood, or maybe portray a different personality..."
"Ah, so it involves a lot of interaction with the model?" Ohno asked. "In my case I draw from portraits or non-living things, so it's pretty much just observation. I think it's great when artists communicate with their subjects."
That sent Tsuyoshi thinking. Communication... He would of course talk to his customers while he was working on their hair, unless they preferred not to chat. He liked to find out about their hobbies, their lives, things they associated themselves with. Then an imagery would form in his mind, of how he'd visualize these people among that setting, going about their activities, talking to their friends... and that was when... the styles... would come to him.
Ohno's eyebrows rose questioningly as Tsuyoshi merely stared at him for a long while.
"I... have forgotten... something important," Tsuyoshi said.
While he was drowning in the single project with Kouichi as the focus, he had become too used to the image that the agency had formed. He'd become too fixated on his own ideas to get things going, too impatient to find out the real personalities of his models, while in fact they were lives that were always growing and changing, and he was merely tapping on that source to bring out the stories he wanted to tell about them.
He stood up suddenly. "Ohno-san."
Ohno looked up at him with the same peaceful expression. "Yes?"
"Would you let me give you a haircut?"
--
"Thank you so much!" Tsuyoshi bowed deeply.
The lady touched her new haircut abashedly. "No, no, I should thank you. You really wouldn't stay for lunch?"
"Please do," Ohno said. "It's the least we can do if you insist on not taking any fee for your service."
"I'm indebted to our conversation, so that's really nothing," Tsuyoshi said.
"Oh, what have you said, Satoshi?" The lady, Ohno's mother, turned.
"We were talking about art," Ohno replied.
"Tsuyoshi-kun should probably teach you something about clothing sense first," his mother said with a disapproving frown.
Tsuyoshi laughed. "Ah, artistic sense and fashion sense are really different things."
"And I can tell you he is hopeless for the other one! He still leaves the shopping to me."
"Mom!" Ohno looked embarrassed. It seemed he displayed more emotions when he was at home.
"I know someone who is just as clueless," Tsuyoshi said. "And he is an idol, even. Ohno-san will be fine."
"Oh, really?"
Tsuyoshi smiled. The thoughts of Kouichi didn't bother him as much now. Maybe after more time had passed he would be able to see him as one of his models, an interesting life to explore and not just shape.
"I think we'll come to visit one of these days," Ohno's mother said. "I haven't known your mother."
"Ah, please do," Tsuyoshi said, bowing slightly. "Once I return to Tokyo, she'll be alone... It'll be wonderful to have your company."
"Then I'll definitely go to introduce myself. For now, maybe you can take some of our home-made snacks home...?"
"It's really fine," Tsuyoshi declined hastily. "Besides, I'd like to go around the neighborhood for a bit."
"Oh, visiting?" Ohno asked.
"Sort of," Tsuyoshi answered with a smile.
After much effort at excusing himself from the mother's insistent friendliness, Tsuyoshi finally made his way out to the road, a hand clasped on the set of scissors in his baggy pant pockets.
The empty pail had returned to the back of his house, the pole and bait waiting for the next time he'd take them out again, maybe on his last day here before returning to Tokyo. He should definitely call Ohno out at least one more time.
His steps stopped outside a familiar door.
"Tanaka-san?" he called.
"Oi!" A lively voice answered. A face at the opened door soon followed. "Oh, Tsuyoshi! You're still in town! That's great."
"I'll make sure to tell you when I leave," Tsuyoshi said.
"Of course you should." The man patted his back with a grin. "Come in, come in."
"Actually, I need a favor..."
"Oh? Just say it, you know I'm always--"
"I'm refreshing my skills," Tsuyoshi said. "So can I do you a haircut?"
"Heh?"
--
"Kouichi-kun, it's for you," Manager-san called, holding out his cellphone to Kouichi. "It's Tsuyoshi-san."
"Eh?" Kouichi hadn't expected it. He grabbed the phone quickly, suddenly anxious.
"Hello?"
"Kouichi-san? Tsuyoshi here." Tsuyoshi's voice was light and cheerful. "I thought I should talk to you directly, but I only have Manager-san's number, so..."
"Ah, yes..." For all the nagging questions he'd been struggling with throughout the past few weeks -- 'When will he be back?' 'Is he still angry about the costume?' -- Kouichi suddenly didn't know what to say.
"Sorry for taking such a long break. I'll return to work soon."
Clouds disappeared from Kouichi's mind, and he was blinded by the sudden light. "Uh? Oh, that's great--"
"I've just told Manager-san about this, too. Maybe we can talk about the arrangement for the new project as soon as I reach Tokyo? I hope there's no problem with the regular programs so far."
"Yeah, it's fine," Kouichi replied, slowly gaining coherence. And spirit. "You're calling from Nara right now?"
"Yes. I'll be taking the train tomorrow. If your schedule is still the same... can I see you and Manager-san tomorrow night?"
"Sure," Kouichi answered readily. "...Oh, will that be too rushed for you, though? Don't you have to change trains, and..."
"I'll be all right," Tsuyoshi said. His laughter sounded fresh. "I rested too much already, I'm getting bored."
A smile formed on Kouichi's lips. "Then it's settled. We'll be at the studio until about eight."
"Got it. And ah, congratulations on the duet song charting first on Oricon! I watched it on TV."
"Oh, that. Thank you." Kouichi glowed.
"The PV is good, too. Though, did you lose some weight? Or is it Nagase-san who has a larger built than I thought?"
"Eh? I guess I... wasn't really watching my diet... But it, uh, fits my character for the upcoming drama, so it's okay."
"Really? Well... I suppose Manager-san will take proper care of you, in any case... So, I'll see you then?"
"Yeah. See you."
Tsuyoshi hung up.
Kouichi took the phone off his ear slowly, and looked around. Manager-san had seemingly gone off to take care of something else. Kouichi didn't want to hold on to the device for fear of losing it somewhere, so, having time to spare, he exited the resting room and went in search of his manager.
He bumped into Shinohara in the corridor.
"Kouichi-kun," she greeted him. "Is it time to start on the make-up?"
"Oh, one moment. I'm returning this to Manager-san first."
"Okay, I'll wait inside," Shinohara said. Then she noticed Kouichi's expression. "Hmm... did something good just happen?"
"Eh?"
"You are smiling from ear to ear." She laughed. "That's rare."
Kouichi dropped the smile quickly. He didn't realize he'd been doing that.
"Awww, you're all blushing too. How cute!"
Kouichi clasped his free hand on his cheek. "It's just normal," he pouted. He didn't have any reason to...
"Eeehhh, seriously," Shinohara lowered her voice conspiratorially. It was still pretty loud. "Who was it that you were calling with Manager-san's phone? Being sneaky like that, is it a date? Is it?"
"There's nothing like that," Kouichi protested. "It was just Tsuyoshi-san calling to say he's returning tomorrow."
"Really~~?" Shinohara eyed him. "I can keep a secret, you know. And I'll come in handy when you need a love advice."
"I'm telling you--"
"So maybe Tsuyoshi-san *did* call," Shinohara conceded a little, since Kouichi didn't usually lie. He couldn't manage to, anyway. "Then what *else* happened?"
Kouichi huffed. This was just the normal naggy Shinohara, but he was feeling unusually cornered and nervous. "Shinohara, stop it already. I'm going to find Manager-san." He stepped around her and went on his way.
"That denial is so typical of a schoolboy in love, Kouichi-kun~~" Shinohara called after him in that still-loud whisper.
Kouichi quickened his steps.
The conversation made him a little nervous, so what. He knew already he was socially awkward. Which was also why he didn't have a girlfriend yet, public or otherwise. He was fine with just hanging out with Nagase from time to time, occasional brief chats with the staff, having Tsuyoshi around...
His feet slowed down.
Nagase's look back then...
"Whoa, whoa, what's with this giddiness?"
"What are you talking about?"
Nagase gave him a funny look. "Be careful that you don't get too... intense, Kou-chan."
'Intense' was a fitting term.
This was too similar to a feeling he'd forgotten until now-- the feeling he had back in high school, for the girl who'd let him copy her notes whenever he'd skipped class for work. He had confessed, they had dated, then they had broken up shortly before graduation.
Kouichi, just as shy a teenager back then, had stood speechless as the girl had apologized. "You're very kind to me, Kouichi-kun," she'd said. "But this is getting too intense for me. I want to make more memories with all the others too before we graduate."
He sometimes felt cheated by his own feelings, the way they grew from silent familiarity to such destructive attachment without himself noticing. All the while he was just being his clumsy self, spending time and showing emotions without realizing what those meant.
Particularly, this... it hadn't occurred to him that this could be possible at all. Tsuyoshi was a man. More importantly, Tsuyoshi was his staff.
And yet all the inexplicable restlessness, swinging moods, sentimental guesswork and silly expectations... made perfect sense only if this was in fact a crush. A bad one.
---
Author Notes:
[*] Matsumoto Jun took over Tsuyoshi's role in Kindaichi Shounen no Jikenbo starting from the third season of the series.
[*] Nagase's conditioner talk was taken from Doumoto Kyoudai 2002.02.03 subtitled by newshfan.
[*] Ohno's drawing was taken from Tokyo Friend Park II with Maou cast (Ohno + Toma) as guest, along with some exact / very-close dialogue quotes, as subtitled by tomalicious_frm.
[*] 'Tanaka-san' was meant to be Cocorico's Tanaka Naoki. I'll need to edit that part (someday =P) to make this reference.
Disclaimer: This writing is fictional and has no commercial purpose. Characters are real persons belonging to themselves.
Pairing: KinKi Kids
Genre: AU, drama
Rating: G
Summary: Tsuyoshi the hairstylist was contracted to Kouichi the solo artist. Chapter 4: The distance that detoxified one feeling, intensified another.
Previous chapters: 1st Tangent | 2nd Tangent | 3rd Tangent
---
Tangent
4: Land of the Blind
"Excuse me..."
Koyama turned from the towel shelves that he was refilling. "Ah, Matsumoto-kun."
Matsumoto Jun was looking much calmer than the last time Koyama bumped into him in the salon.
"How is it, the session with Kouichi-san?"
Matsujun took a towel out of the rack as Koyama made way for him. "It's all right, I guess. He has only asked for trimming so far... and just treatment for today."
"Eh... but isn't this the third session already?"
"Well, the concert is over. He only has regular programs right now."
Koyama closed the shelves. "It didn't stop Tsuyoshi-kun before..."
"I'm not taking that risk," Matsujun said, slightly apprehensive. "Kouichi-san did say there's no need to change the style."
Koyama gave him a sympathetic look. "Substituting assignments are tough, huh."
"All of the responsibility, and none of the prospect." Matsujun shrugged. "But Tsuyoshi-kun could really use a vacation. He looked downright awful the whole week during the concert."
"True," Koyama agreed. "Not that we saw much of him in those days. The schedule was crazy."
"It *is* of a different level... I too would like an exclusive assignment like that, if I can get my own customer," Matsujun said. "But taking over from Tsuyoshi-kun would be troublesome. It's hard to get out of his shadow."
"Leader didn't say when he would be back?" Koyama asked.
Matsujun shook his head. "That's what I'd like to know too. Kouichi-san keeps asking me about it, even though he tries to be subtle... and Leader always goes suspiciously missing whenever he comes for an appointment."
"Leader must have pulled some strings." Koyama pondered. "But I did hear Tsuyoshi-kun calling personally to the agency, so I assume they settled it amiably."
Matsujun let out a breath. "I do hope Tsuyoshi-kun is not suddenly quitting on me. I don't think Kouichi-san likes me much."
"It can't be about you," Koyama said soothingly. "He never talks much to anyone around here."
"I thought he was okay with you. He probably talks more to you than to me." Matsujun didn't seem too concerned about it, though.
Koyama considered this. "Maybe because I assisted Tsuyoshi-kun a few times? The two of them are usually quite chatty."
"Oh? Then you should probably go out and talk to him. Maybe that'll brighten him up a little."
Koyama scratched his head. "I'm not sure... Most of the time I can't quite follow what he speaks to Tsuyoshi-kun about."
"Is that so?" Matsujun laughed. "Well, I should get back now. The machine's beep cannot be heard from here."
"Okay. Maybe I'll just say hi later."
Matsujun raised a thumb as he left the supply room.
--
"So, what is it? Talk."
Tsuyoshi doodled idly with the hand that was not holding the phone. "I'm fine, Taichi. You're the one who always tell me to make use of my wasted leave entitlement."
"And since when do you listen to me? You were too busy to make the trip with me when I was in Tokyo, and now you're spending a month's vacation at home? I can smell something fishy all the way from here."
Tsuyoshi sighed. "You'll definitely say, 'I told you so'."
"Oh, I will?" Taichi sounded amused. "Since you already know that, why don't you just get on with it?"
Tsuyoshi bit his lips, trying to form a truthful explanation that was mild enough not to send Taichi into an overprotective fit. "My ideas are kind of saturated recently."
"...That is serious, isn't it?" Taichi was concerned.
"Hmm... I guess it's because I've been tired out by the jobs from Kouichi-san's side. We're hoping taking a break will solve that."
"But just that is not good enough, no?" Taichi said. "It won't help if you're back to the same routine once you return to work."
"I'll... probably talk to him then and rework the task division..."
Taichi could hear his reluctance, though. "Tsuyoshi."
"Hm?"
"I think... you should probably consider resigning this assignment altogether."
Tsuyoshi startled. "But it's just--"
"I know it's a very valuable career opportunity, but you and I know you're not in this profession for that."
"I like the job." Tsuyoshi frowned.
"You also like cutting patterns and sewing costumes and such related manual labor, but are those the main point of your creations? You value creativity more than just getting the work done, and from what I see of your current problem, the demands of this assignment just do not fit that objective."
Tsuyoshi was silent. Taichi's words were a perfect stringing of the pieces that had been clouding his thoughts these past weeks, that he himself had been unable --and reluctant-- to put together.
This assignment was a designer's utopia: a model whose image he could shape up completely. It came at a high price, certainly, as it would be meaningless if he didn't assume full responsibility. The way it was now, it wasn't even a choice anymore. His mind had been too fixated on that one image that he couldn't just turn away and go back to freelance styling just like that.
Yet this was also a misguided utopia. Kouichi was not a doll without free will. Disregarding this fact would not work, as their last argument had proven. Given his personality, shedding this mindset wasn't going to be easy as long as he still had his hands on this project.
"I'll think about it," he said slowly.
Taichi breathed, and refrained from saying more. "Well... take your time. Don't rush into any decision. Don't let anyone rush you, either. Even Joushima-san."
"I will," Tsuyoshi promised.
"And call me if you want to talk, anytime, okay? Don't you pull another secretive stunt like this again. If I hadn't happened to call Mother..."
Tsuyoshi couldn't help but laugh despite his gloomy mood. "I can't be placing international calls just to whine to you, Taichi. I need to do my own growing up."
"You're usually fine if you can still talk about it," Taichi said. "So I want you to remember this: the more you don't feel like talking, the more you should call me. You get that?"
"...All right."
"Okay then," Taichi's tone softened. "Enjoy your time at home. I'll definitely go and see you when I'm back in Japan."
"Sure. You take care, too, Taichi."
Tsuyoshi put down the phone. His gaze strayed automatically to the notepad he'd been scribbling on, and he frowned.
The hairline of that face sketch were unmistakably shaped after Doumoto Kouichi's.
Tsuyoshi tore out the page with a sigh. He stood up, and dropped the crumpled paper into the rubbish bin on his way out of the room.
"Mother?" He peered into the kitchen. "Anything I can help you with?"
--
"Okay guys, one more time?" Matsuoka clapped. "Nagase, for the recording, I'll add in the drum beats to your guitar solo after four bars. Will that be better?"
"Yosh, sounds great," Nagase responded brightly. "Hey, we should try to arrange for the live band, too."
"Maybe for some of the venues," Matsuoka said. "And then, Kouichi-kun, please be careful at bar 44, okay? The lyrics are 'your hand in my hand' and not 'your hand in my hair'."
"Sorry," Kouichi said sheepishly. "I'll remember that."
"This guy worries too much about his hair." Nagase poked him. Kouichi responded with an indignant glare.
"Well, *you* scrub your hair with too much effort," Matsuoka commented at Nagase. "I keep thinking the strands will all peel off."
Kouichi laughed. "He spends forever in the shower doing that, doesn't he?"
"Tell me about it. I once had to barge in and drag him out before the tour bus left us behind."
Nagase slapped Matsuoka's lap. "You could've called from the door!"
"The water was too loud. Did I mention you also used too much water?"
"But it's hard to rinse the conditioner off--"
Kouichi half-listened to the banter with slight jealousy. Much as he was close to both of them, he still tended to fade into the background in a group setting. He was more the one-on-one type, when he did socialize.
It didn't bother him usually, but he'd been feeling lonely lately.
"Kou-chan?" Nagase's call brought him back to the present.
"Ah, yes," Kouichi startled. "Let's start, then?"
--
"You've been looking a bit out of it since we started the project," Nagase remarked as they were packing up. "Are you occupied with your solo work?"
"There's nothing much till the filming for a new drama in August," Kouichi replied. "It's the usual. I've always been like this, no?"
"But you've been in better spirits from the start of the year-- ah. That reminds me." Nagase looked around. "Are you going to introduce me to your stylist?"
"Hm?" Matsuoka looked up questioningly.
"A quite formidable guy, from what I heard," Nagase explained with a grin.
"Ah, Tsuyoshi-san is currently on leave," Kouichi's manager spoke up. "We're not quite sure when he'll be back."
"How come?" Matsuoka matched Nagase's frown. "How about his contract?"
Kouichi shrugged. "We made an arrangement. His agency sends a temporary hairstylist, I still have Shinohara for make-up... and I get the staff to handle the miscellaneous tasks. I don't really need much styling for my current projects."
"We should check with him before the drama starts, though," Manager-san said. "If it seems like he is not returning soon, we will need to get somebody else on board."
Kouichi slung his bag on his shoulder rather abruptly. "Shall we make a move?"
"Supper?" Nagase offered, with a searching eye at Kouichi's expression.
"Let's go," Matsuoka accepted readily.
"I'll pass--" Kouichi began, but Nagase draped a pushy arm over his shoulders.
"If we're going, you're going," he said. They couldn't really talk right now, but he could at least try a distraction. "Your skin and hair could use some nutrition!"
Kouichi's protests went ignored in the face of Nagase's brute force persuasion.
--
Tsuyoshi walked along the grassy river side, trying to select a spot. It was still early, and he saw only one other man in the area. Tsuyoshi had often met the uncles he had grown up with fishing in this river, but he didn't recognize this figure.
He was just about to walk past and take up a place further downstream, when he noticed that the man was concentrating on a sketchbook on his lap, while his fishing pole was held up by a pile of rocks beside him.
It was the drawing that captured Tsuyoshi at first glance. "Cool," he breathed.
The man turned his head slowly. He had a very young face, shaded under a hat. The gentle eyes almost disappeared when he smiled. "Thank you."
"It's a... seahorse?" Tsuyoshi asked, concentrating on the shape. It was a very detailed decorative pencil sketch.
The man turned back to his drawing. "I guess that's what it turns out to be... yes."
Tsuyoshi's lips quirked up. "'Turns out to be'?"
He put down his equipments and stepped nearer. On closer inspection, the drawing was made up of various smaller objects and faces, their outlines coming together to form the seahorse. Each piece was drawn in the realistic style.
"I just drew what I felt like, and built the shape as I went along," the man clarified.
"Whoa..."
There was a moment's silence as Tsuyoshi continued to stare at the picture. The man let him, the slight smile remaining on his face while he kept a neutral gaze at Tsuyoshi's general direction and said nothing.
Tsuyoshi snapped out after a while. "I'm sorry, how rude of me. I'm Doumoto Tsuyoshi." He bowed.
The man stood up unhurriedly and returned the bow. "Ohno Satoshi."
"Do you often come here to draw... and fish?" Tsuyoshi asked.
"I come fishing once in a while, when the weather is good," Ohno said. "I just bring my sketchbook along to pass the time."
"That's a very good drawing. Do you draw professionally?"
Ohno nodded. "I do caricatures and comic strips for the local newspaper, and novel illustrations on a commission basis," he answered. "How about you, Doumoto-san?"
"I'm a hairstylist," Tsuyoshi said. The mention of work brought his thoughts to the unresolved problem, which he tried to push to the back of his mind.
"Ah. You seem to be interested in drawing, too?"
"Just as a hobby. My work involves fashion designing at times."
"That sounds interesting," Ohno responded with a friendly smile.
As the man sat back down, Tsuyoshi grabbed his fishing tools and set them down a distance beside his new friend. "Do you mind..."
"No, not at all."
Tsuyoshi began to set up for fishing. Ohno didn't try to talk to him while he was doing so.
When Tsuyoshi was done, he saw that Ohno had gone back to his drawing. He blended into this place very well, Tsuyoshi thought, a friendly but unintrusive quiet presence. But it also made it hard to start a conversation.
Tsuyoshi decided to keep quiet, and watched the water surface. He hadn't brought his own sketchpad, knowing what kind of sketch would turn out again. When he purposely used a starkly different set of features and tried to come up with a style, he would invariably end up with a plain standard cut.
He sighed audibly. Even now the green expansion projected by the moss underwater was starting to look like--
"Are you on vacation, Doumoto-san?"
"Eh?" Tsuyoshi turned. "Ah, yes..."
Ohno smiled at him. "Were you thinking about a serious problem just now?"
His sighing must have been too loud. Tsuyoshi nodded sheepishly. "I'm kind of in a slump," he said honestly. The town, the river, his present company, made him feel it was fine to just speak up.
"Ah," Ohno responded. He didn't seem like a very expressive guy.
"Have you ever got stuck?" Tsuyoshi asked curiously.
Ohno pondered briefly. "At times I can think of nothing that I'd like to draw, so then I will not draw anything."
"Ehhh? But if you don't draw..."
"Like fishing, it comes when it comes," Ohno said serenely. "There is no point in getting impatient."
"But don't you have deadlines? What would you do then?"
"Then I sit down and draw," Ohno answered simply.
Tsuyoshi looked at him, half-confused, half-amused. Such a laid-back answer... "And if you can't think of anything...?"
"I start with a few lines..." Ohno gestured with his hand. "Then they will come as I continue. Well, sometimes they do turn out differently than the topic requested, so I have to start again."
Tsuyoshi thought about it. "If I do the same thing, I always end up with the same old styles."
"But if you start with different lines, they will of course turn out differently," Ohno said.
"Ah, no, this is probably a different process..."
"Oh, sorry, I'm not familiar with hairstyling work. Do you draw out the haircut or...?"
"Mm... we usually have models with various types of hair, various face features... then we come up with styles for them. There will usually be themes like 'school' or 'party' or 'summer'."
"I see," Ohno said. "Then is the problem that you keep getting the same model and theme?"
Tsuyoshi paused to recall. It had happened before and it had gone well as far as he remembered. "There can still be different styles even then. The model will be in a different mood, or maybe portray a different personality..."
"Ah, so it involves a lot of interaction with the model?" Ohno asked. "In my case I draw from portraits or non-living things, so it's pretty much just observation. I think it's great when artists communicate with their subjects."
That sent Tsuyoshi thinking. Communication... He would of course talk to his customers while he was working on their hair, unless they preferred not to chat. He liked to find out about their hobbies, their lives, things they associated themselves with. Then an imagery would form in his mind, of how he'd visualize these people among that setting, going about their activities, talking to their friends... and that was when... the styles... would come to him.
Ohno's eyebrows rose questioningly as Tsuyoshi merely stared at him for a long while.
"I... have forgotten... something important," Tsuyoshi said.
While he was drowning in the single project with Kouichi as the focus, he had become too used to the image that the agency had formed. He'd become too fixated on his own ideas to get things going, too impatient to find out the real personalities of his models, while in fact they were lives that were always growing and changing, and he was merely tapping on that source to bring out the stories he wanted to tell about them.
He stood up suddenly. "Ohno-san."
Ohno looked up at him with the same peaceful expression. "Yes?"
"Would you let me give you a haircut?"
--
"Thank you so much!" Tsuyoshi bowed deeply.
The lady touched her new haircut abashedly. "No, no, I should thank you. You really wouldn't stay for lunch?"
"Please do," Ohno said. "It's the least we can do if you insist on not taking any fee for your service."
"I'm indebted to our conversation, so that's really nothing," Tsuyoshi said.
"Oh, what have you said, Satoshi?" The lady, Ohno's mother, turned.
"We were talking about art," Ohno replied.
"Tsuyoshi-kun should probably teach you something about clothing sense first," his mother said with a disapproving frown.
Tsuyoshi laughed. "Ah, artistic sense and fashion sense are really different things."
"And I can tell you he is hopeless for the other one! He still leaves the shopping to me."
"Mom!" Ohno looked embarrassed. It seemed he displayed more emotions when he was at home.
"I know someone who is just as clueless," Tsuyoshi said. "And he is an idol, even. Ohno-san will be fine."
"Oh, really?"
Tsuyoshi smiled. The thoughts of Kouichi didn't bother him as much now. Maybe after more time had passed he would be able to see him as one of his models, an interesting life to explore and not just shape.
"I think we'll come to visit one of these days," Ohno's mother said. "I haven't known your mother."
"Ah, please do," Tsuyoshi said, bowing slightly. "Once I return to Tokyo, she'll be alone... It'll be wonderful to have your company."
"Then I'll definitely go to introduce myself. For now, maybe you can take some of our home-made snacks home...?"
"It's really fine," Tsuyoshi declined hastily. "Besides, I'd like to go around the neighborhood for a bit."
"Oh, visiting?" Ohno asked.
"Sort of," Tsuyoshi answered with a smile.
After much effort at excusing himself from the mother's insistent friendliness, Tsuyoshi finally made his way out to the road, a hand clasped on the set of scissors in his baggy pant pockets.
The empty pail had returned to the back of his house, the pole and bait waiting for the next time he'd take them out again, maybe on his last day here before returning to Tokyo. He should definitely call Ohno out at least one more time.
His steps stopped outside a familiar door.
"Tanaka-san?" he called.
"Oi!" A lively voice answered. A face at the opened door soon followed. "Oh, Tsuyoshi! You're still in town! That's great."
"I'll make sure to tell you when I leave," Tsuyoshi said.
"Of course you should." The man patted his back with a grin. "Come in, come in."
"Actually, I need a favor..."
"Oh? Just say it, you know I'm always--"
"I'm refreshing my skills," Tsuyoshi said. "So can I do you a haircut?"
"Heh?"
--
"Kouichi-kun, it's for you," Manager-san called, holding out his cellphone to Kouichi. "It's Tsuyoshi-san."
"Eh?" Kouichi hadn't expected it. He grabbed the phone quickly, suddenly anxious.
"Hello?"
"Kouichi-san? Tsuyoshi here." Tsuyoshi's voice was light and cheerful. "I thought I should talk to you directly, but I only have Manager-san's number, so..."
"Ah, yes..." For all the nagging questions he'd been struggling with throughout the past few weeks -- 'When will he be back?' 'Is he still angry about the costume?' -- Kouichi suddenly didn't know what to say.
"Sorry for taking such a long break. I'll return to work soon."
Clouds disappeared from Kouichi's mind, and he was blinded by the sudden light. "Uh? Oh, that's great--"
"I've just told Manager-san about this, too. Maybe we can talk about the arrangement for the new project as soon as I reach Tokyo? I hope there's no problem with the regular programs so far."
"Yeah, it's fine," Kouichi replied, slowly gaining coherence. And spirit. "You're calling from Nara right now?"
"Yes. I'll be taking the train tomorrow. If your schedule is still the same... can I see you and Manager-san tomorrow night?"
"Sure," Kouichi answered readily. "...Oh, will that be too rushed for you, though? Don't you have to change trains, and..."
"I'll be all right," Tsuyoshi said. His laughter sounded fresh. "I rested too much already, I'm getting bored."
A smile formed on Kouichi's lips. "Then it's settled. We'll be at the studio until about eight."
"Got it. And ah, congratulations on the duet song charting first on Oricon! I watched it on TV."
"Oh, that. Thank you." Kouichi glowed.
"The PV is good, too. Though, did you lose some weight? Or is it Nagase-san who has a larger built than I thought?"
"Eh? I guess I... wasn't really watching my diet... But it, uh, fits my character for the upcoming drama, so it's okay."
"Really? Well... I suppose Manager-san will take proper care of you, in any case... So, I'll see you then?"
"Yeah. See you."
Tsuyoshi hung up.
Kouichi took the phone off his ear slowly, and looked around. Manager-san had seemingly gone off to take care of something else. Kouichi didn't want to hold on to the device for fear of losing it somewhere, so, having time to spare, he exited the resting room and went in search of his manager.
He bumped into Shinohara in the corridor.
"Kouichi-kun," she greeted him. "Is it time to start on the make-up?"
"Oh, one moment. I'm returning this to Manager-san first."
"Okay, I'll wait inside," Shinohara said. Then she noticed Kouichi's expression. "Hmm... did something good just happen?"
"Eh?"
"You are smiling from ear to ear." She laughed. "That's rare."
Kouichi dropped the smile quickly. He didn't realize he'd been doing that.
"Awww, you're all blushing too. How cute!"
Kouichi clasped his free hand on his cheek. "It's just normal," he pouted. He didn't have any reason to...
"Eeehhh, seriously," Shinohara lowered her voice conspiratorially. It was still pretty loud. "Who was it that you were calling with Manager-san's phone? Being sneaky like that, is it a date? Is it?"
"There's nothing like that," Kouichi protested. "It was just Tsuyoshi-san calling to say he's returning tomorrow."
"Really~~?" Shinohara eyed him. "I can keep a secret, you know. And I'll come in handy when you need a love advice."
"I'm telling you--"
"So maybe Tsuyoshi-san *did* call," Shinohara conceded a little, since Kouichi didn't usually lie. He couldn't manage to, anyway. "Then what *else* happened?"
Kouichi huffed. This was just the normal naggy Shinohara, but he was feeling unusually cornered and nervous. "Shinohara, stop it already. I'm going to find Manager-san." He stepped around her and went on his way.
"That denial is so typical of a schoolboy in love, Kouichi-kun~~" Shinohara called after him in that still-loud whisper.
Kouichi quickened his steps.
The conversation made him a little nervous, so what. He knew already he was socially awkward. Which was also why he didn't have a girlfriend yet, public or otherwise. He was fine with just hanging out with Nagase from time to time, occasional brief chats with the staff, having Tsuyoshi around...
His feet slowed down.
Nagase's look back then...
"Whoa, whoa, what's with this giddiness?"
"What are you talking about?"
Nagase gave him a funny look. "Be careful that you don't get too... intense, Kou-chan."
'Intense' was a fitting term.
This was too similar to a feeling he'd forgotten until now-- the feeling he had back in high school, for the girl who'd let him copy her notes whenever he'd skipped class for work. He had confessed, they had dated, then they had broken up shortly before graduation.
Kouichi, just as shy a teenager back then, had stood speechless as the girl had apologized. "You're very kind to me, Kouichi-kun," she'd said. "But this is getting too intense for me. I want to make more memories with all the others too before we graduate."
He sometimes felt cheated by his own feelings, the way they grew from silent familiarity to such destructive attachment without himself noticing. All the while he was just being his clumsy self, spending time and showing emotions without realizing what those meant.
Particularly, this... it hadn't occurred to him that this could be possible at all. Tsuyoshi was a man. More importantly, Tsuyoshi was his staff.
And yet all the inexplicable restlessness, swinging moods, sentimental guesswork and silly expectations... made perfect sense only if this was in fact a crush. A bad one.
---
Author Notes:
[*] Matsumoto Jun took over Tsuyoshi's role in Kindaichi Shounen no Jikenbo starting from the third season of the series.
[*] Nagase's conditioner talk was taken from Doumoto Kyoudai 2002.02.03 subtitled by newshfan.
[*] Ohno's drawing was taken from Tokyo Friend Park II with Maou cast (Ohno + Toma) as guest, along with some exact / very-close dialogue quotes, as subtitled by tomalicious_frm.
[*] 'Tanaka-san' was meant to be Cocorico's Tanaka Naoki. I'll need to edit that part (someday =P) to make this reference.