[KinKi AU] Butai verse, scene 2

[kireira]

Continued from the first part here.

Disclaimer: This is fictional.
Pairing: None so far
Genre: AU, drama, angst
Rating: G so far

Summary: Tsuyoshi joined the musical directed by Kouichi, with questionable motivation and a defensively guarded past.

Continued from: First

[Edited 17 July 2012]

Comments

[bamboobranch]

oops, i said we'll brainstorm together but then i was kinda busy and completely lose track of this

sorry~

[kireira]

Ah, no worries! You can leave a comment with your ideas whenever you think of it. =3

Anyway, the story haven't moved much.. except in my draft I got carried away a little on the OkaTsuyo past, lol.

[jandeth]

It's getting interesting and I think this is a lot clearer than the previous chapter ^_^

[kireira]

Thanks for reading! =)) If this is getting anywhere later on I might go back to clean up that scene. =D

[jandeth]

I'll be waiting for the next chapter. I want to know what happens next really badly ^_^

[kireira]

All I have right now are disconnected and incomplete scenes so I don't really know what happens next myself ^^0 but your comment makes me happy anyway. =DD Thanks!

[kochan_addict]

Oh!

I think you have something really interesting and promising here!
I'm not sure how I feel about dancer!Tsuyoshi but I like his hard-working personality and the way Koichi reacts.

I do think it will take even the most skilled person more than 20 minutes to learn how to dance a routine properly. I mean beyond the steps there is poise and hands and the fluidity of the steps that is unique to a song.

I'm most intrigued to see where you'll take this and what you're going to do next ^_^

[kireira]

Thanks for the interest! =D It's really an experimental WiP so I'm happy to get this kind of feedback.

I'm not sure how I feel about dancer!Tsuyoshi
Is it because dancing is not his usual 'passion'? I'm totally basing his dancing talent on a single Shindoi episode with that pole-dancing lesson. ^^0 But a significant part of this story does deal with the reason he gets into this.

I do think it will take even the most skilled person more than 20 minutes
Ah, good point... I guess I'll tweak that part later on. I have meant the 20 mins to be Kouichi demonstrating once (8-min routine) and Tsuyoshi repeating it once (possibly slower). The point is that his movements were not accurate but he remembered the sequence exactly. Maybe this is still exaggerated, though? I wanted him to be a quick learner to justify him being a last-minute replacement. ^^0

[kochan_addict]

Well, as an experimental thing, it's going quite good.

I don't know why Tsuyoshi being a dancer is an idea I need to get used to. Maybe it's because I see him as someone who, if possible, would walk away from dancing, like it's not his thing and he has better ways to express himself.
Who knows, maybe I'll change my mind as you progress with the story.

Ah now I understand what you wanted to say.
Yes you should probably add a few words there to make that one clear.

I like it so far, and am looking forward to the next chapter ^_^

[kireira]

At this point I'm slightly intending him to be uncomfortable with dancing (due to angsty past and stuff =DD) even though he had the talent enough to learn. Not sure how that would work out since I haven't worked out the details of that angsty past, ahaha... maybe we'll see. ^^0

I've made edits. =D Thanks again for the feedback!

[fishings]

Sneaking a peek at some of the comments above, I agree that Tsuyoshi as a dancer takes some getting used to. Koichi as an instructor is great, though! Such a demanding teacher. :3 *waits for more*

[kireira]

I had a sudden desire to see a clash of their S side. =D;

[lullabyeforyou]

This is fantastic. I don't know where it's going yet, but I love the tension and the minimalist approach works. Also, Kouichi, you're such a dick and it's so IC that it hurts. *laughs*

I would offer to brainstorm with you or help in anyway I can, but it seems that you've got a lot of people helping already. :p

[kireira]

Ah, let's see how long I can maintain the angsty atmosphere. =D; I imagine a Kouichi who was not in love with Tsuyoshi would act like this, lol.

I would love to hear your opinions and feedback if any idea occurs to you. =))

[lullabyeforyou]

Almost cold, right? Intimidating. *laughs*

I would tell you more if I knew more about it, but thus far since there hasn't been much given to us, it's hard for me to brainstorm. I thrive on the details.