Bad Dream House
Last Wednesday, Chuck and I gathered our supplies and Lucia and packed them into the Subaru to head north to Bridgewater for a househunt. My parents were meeting us there - they were planning to visit anyway, and they had offered to stay in the same hotel and watch Lucia while we focused on the home tours on Thursday morning, then drive back to Delaware with us on Friday to stay for a few more days.
Mere seconds before we pulled out of the driveway, my cell phone rang. I imagined it would be my parents, calling to tell us how far long their drive they were. Instead, an unfamiliar number came up, and I answered. It was the real estate agent. “Did you get my email this morning?” she asked. I hadn’t - I had come in early to work in the lab all morning until I left at 12:40 PM. “Well,” she said, “This has never happened to me before. All the appointments for tomorrow morning have cancelled.”
My jaw hung open in disbelief. She went on to say that none of the properties would be available to view until the following week. I couldn’t form a plan into words, and Lucia was fussing loudly, so I told her I would call her back. I relayed the bad news to Chuck, and after some more incredulity, we decided we would still go up and do an area tour. Mom and Dad had a nonrefundable reservation, and we had already packed the car and I had already taken time off, so it seemed prudent to just go and see the area for a couple hours and hang out for a while as we figured things out for later. I called Mom and Dad to let them know what was up before calling Real Estate Lady, and Mom suggested asking her for alternatives, even slightly higher priced ones, to look at. I called Real Estate Lady back and told her to keep the Thursday appointment so we could have an area tour, and asked if there was ANYTHING else she could show us, even $20,000 above our general range of 220K-230K, and she indicated that even many of the properties in that range would be in flood zones. Well, GODDAMMIT.
The rest of the car trip was not terribly good;we pulled into a rest stop for a bathroom break and to pick up some food, as I had not eaten any lunch, and we waited an excessively long time for chicken strips and fries while Lucia cried and was unhappy in her stroller, which was uncharacteristic - however it was also about nap time for her. Back in the car I ate the food as fast as I could, trying to share with Lucia, who only seemed to want my soda straw, which, after a screaming fit when I took it back from her, I had to hide from her view when I took a sip. When I finally finished I had to figure out what would entertain her, as she had entered the extreme fuss zone where something that is appealing one moment is abhorrent the next, so the books and toys she pulled out herself were often batted or flung away with a displeased squeal. Despite my efforts she pitched a handful of successive squealing fits, which Chuck responded to with stern “No”s from the driver seat (it always bothers me when he tries this bullshit “long-distance” discipline when *I* am the one right next to her and dealing with her directly. I can only assume that it gives him some sense of control and contribution even though it mostly just makes me feel like he doesn’t have confidence in me, as well as appearing as though he is half-ass parenting by just saying “no” without following through and stopping the behavior by removal or distraction and demonstrating what IS allowed). Finally he got so frustrated that he full-on shouted “NO!” which of course did NOTHING to stop Lucia from screaming and might have made things worse, I’m not even sure, because all I did was ask him to please not do that in as unemotional a voice as I could muster, and went back to trying to distract Lucia with books. Finally she was content to have me read to her for the remaining hour or so of driving.
When we arrived at the hotel Lucia began to pitch a huge fit once I got her into the lobby, and began to cry so hard that she made herself throw up. Finally I had to bring her back outside to the car where Chuck and Mom were unloading it, and tried to clean her up. I wound up leaving her there so I could just check in quickly and get her into the room. After that we could change her clothes, clean her up, and probably lay her down for a nap. On the way up the room she had escalated her squalling and was still gagging and crazy upset.
When we got her to the room and stripped off her pukey clothing, she immediately tried to climb back into the stroller. She calmed down slightly as I tried to change her diaper, but it was hard to get her to stay still, and as I pleaded with Chuck for help I realized that he had chosen that time to check his goddamn voicemail. At that same moment I realized I had to pee very badly, so I decided to abandon the situation and stormed over to Mom and Dad’s room to use their bathroom, because ours was occupied by my father trying to wipe off the pukey stroller.
When I came back minutes later, Chuck was off his stupid phone and had changed Lu’s diaper and was getting her dressed. I finished dressing her as Dad left, and Chuck set up her Pack n Play, then I just held her as she whimpered and sagged against me, exhausted. Finally, I got her settled into her Pack n Play and sat next to it, weeping silently, comforting her when she threatened to start crying again, until she finally fell asleep. I clambered over to where Chuck lay on the bed and cried next to him, and he told me it wasn’t my fault, while I said I didn’t want him to scream at her and lamented the whole stupid trip and my inability to fix anything about it.
Finally I calmed down while reading, and then went over to Mom and Dad’s room with my work laptop to see if I could connect remotely. I couldn’t, but was able to find my relocation coordinator contact’s number in my personal email, and gave her a call to get her updated on the shitty situation. Then I chatted with my parents about home buying and selling, and eventually Lu woke up and we all went and had dinner.
The area tour the next morning, however, was encouraging, and the areas we were looking at were all quite neighborhoody and pleasant. Lucia behaved well for Grandma and Grandpa, and after Chuck and I returned we all went down to the swimming pool for a bit before naptime.
So, because we saw 0 houses last week, Chuck and I will be driving up again Wednesday afternoon to look at the places in the early evening while Mom and Dad watch Lu. I hope it goes better this time.
Mere seconds before we pulled out of the driveway, my cell phone rang. I imagined it would be my parents, calling to tell us how far long their drive they were. Instead, an unfamiliar number came up, and I answered. It was the real estate agent. “Did you get my email this morning?” she asked. I hadn’t - I had come in early to work in the lab all morning until I left at 12:40 PM. “Well,” she said, “This has never happened to me before. All the appointments for tomorrow morning have cancelled.”
My jaw hung open in disbelief. She went on to say that none of the properties would be available to view until the following week. I couldn’t form a plan into words, and Lucia was fussing loudly, so I told her I would call her back. I relayed the bad news to Chuck, and after some more incredulity, we decided we would still go up and do an area tour. Mom and Dad had a nonrefundable reservation, and we had already packed the car and I had already taken time off, so it seemed prudent to just go and see the area for a couple hours and hang out for a while as we figured things out for later. I called Mom and Dad to let them know what was up before calling Real Estate Lady, and Mom suggested asking her for alternatives, even slightly higher priced ones, to look at. I called Real Estate Lady back and told her to keep the Thursday appointment so we could have an area tour, and asked if there was ANYTHING else she could show us, even $20,000 above our general range of 220K-230K, and she indicated that even many of the properties in that range would be in flood zones. Well, GODDAMMIT.
The rest of the car trip was not terribly good;we pulled into a rest stop for a bathroom break and to pick up some food, as I had not eaten any lunch, and we waited an excessively long time for chicken strips and fries while Lucia cried and was unhappy in her stroller, which was uncharacteristic - however it was also about nap time for her. Back in the car I ate the food as fast as I could, trying to share with Lucia, who only seemed to want my soda straw, which, after a screaming fit when I took it back from her, I had to hide from her view when I took a sip. When I finally finished I had to figure out what would entertain her, as she had entered the extreme fuss zone where something that is appealing one moment is abhorrent the next, so the books and toys she pulled out herself were often batted or flung away with a displeased squeal. Despite my efforts she pitched a handful of successive squealing fits, which Chuck responded to with stern “No”s from the driver seat (it always bothers me when he tries this bullshit “long-distance” discipline when *I* am the one right next to her and dealing with her directly. I can only assume that it gives him some sense of control and contribution even though it mostly just makes me feel like he doesn’t have confidence in me, as well as appearing as though he is half-ass parenting by just saying “no” without following through and stopping the behavior by removal or distraction and demonstrating what IS allowed). Finally he got so frustrated that he full-on shouted “NO!” which of course did NOTHING to stop Lucia from screaming and might have made things worse, I’m not even sure, because all I did was ask him to please not do that in as unemotional a voice as I could muster, and went back to trying to distract Lucia with books. Finally she was content to have me read to her for the remaining hour or so of driving.
When we arrived at the hotel Lucia began to pitch a huge fit once I got her into the lobby, and began to cry so hard that she made herself throw up. Finally I had to bring her back outside to the car where Chuck and Mom were unloading it, and tried to clean her up. I wound up leaving her there so I could just check in quickly and get her into the room. After that we could change her clothes, clean her up, and probably lay her down for a nap. On the way up the room she had escalated her squalling and was still gagging and crazy upset.
When we got her to the room and stripped off her pukey clothing, she immediately tried to climb back into the stroller. She calmed down slightly as I tried to change her diaper, but it was hard to get her to stay still, and as I pleaded with Chuck for help I realized that he had chosen that time to check his goddamn voicemail. At that same moment I realized I had to pee very badly, so I decided to abandon the situation and stormed over to Mom and Dad’s room to use their bathroom, because ours was occupied by my father trying to wipe off the pukey stroller.
When I came back minutes later, Chuck was off his stupid phone and had changed Lu’s diaper and was getting her dressed. I finished dressing her as Dad left, and Chuck set up her Pack n Play, then I just held her as she whimpered and sagged against me, exhausted. Finally, I got her settled into her Pack n Play and sat next to it, weeping silently, comforting her when she threatened to start crying again, until she finally fell asleep. I clambered over to where Chuck lay on the bed and cried next to him, and he told me it wasn’t my fault, while I said I didn’t want him to scream at her and lamented the whole stupid trip and my inability to fix anything about it.
Finally I calmed down while reading, and then went over to Mom and Dad’s room with my work laptop to see if I could connect remotely. I couldn’t, but was able to find my relocation coordinator contact’s number in my personal email, and gave her a call to get her updated on the shitty situation. Then I chatted with my parents about home buying and selling, and eventually Lu woke up and we all went and had dinner.
The area tour the next morning, however, was encouraging, and the areas we were looking at were all quite neighborhoody and pleasant. Lucia behaved well for Grandma and Grandpa, and after Chuck and I returned we all went down to the swimming pool for a bit before naptime.
So, because we saw 0 houses last week, Chuck and I will be driving up again Wednesday afternoon to look at the places in the early evening while Mom and Dad watch Lu. I hope it goes better this time.