Fanfic: Thinking of You
Title: Thinking Of You lyrics
Pairing: Akame (slight Pikame)
Genre: Drama, Angst
Disclaimer: I own nothing...just the brains and the computer I'm using...
Author's note:
--Setting is on pre and post hiatus of Akanishi Jin
--Inspired by the song Thinking of You by Katy Perry (been listening to her on repeat), Katy Perry-san, daisuki!!!
Summary: Can't find the right summary for this one, better read it...*gomen*
Jin, don't go...
Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one, I still got the seed
KAT-TUN debuted right after the stormy situation that Kazuya has gotten himself into. It was expected to happen though, but there was one thing he never expected to happen. Jin's hiatus. When Jin announced that he would be leaving, his world crumbled, the smile on his face was broken. Kazuya did not know what to do. And he did not want to face Jin. He simply walked away from KAT-TUN's dressing room.
"Kazuya," Nakamaru Yuichi, the oldest in the group called out to him when he started for the door, "aren't you going to say anything at all?" He asked.
Nakamaru's eyes shifted from him to the others who crowded around Jin, questioning him why now.
Kazuya sighed and looked up, his back facing Nakamaru. "There is nothing more I can possibly say...I can't even think. I need some air." With that, Kazuya, opened the door and softly shut it behind him and right then, his tears began to fall despite trying to put up a smile.
You said move on, where do I go?
I guess second best is all I will know
Kazuya choked back a sob. He was inside one of the empty rooms in the Jimusho. He can't believe his luck. First, getting into a misunderstanding with AT-TUN and now, Jin's hiatus. How is he going to handle things when Jin would be gone? Who will he run to? Jin has always been there for him despite the many misunderstandings they had...but the hiatus, it will break them apart, tear them away from each other.
"Why are the damn lights turned off? Oww, shit, I stubbed my toe!!! Who's there?" Yamashita Tomohisa asked in a panicked tone. He doesn't like being in the dark, alone in a room inside the Jimusho. He could hear someone sniffling.
"Who's there?" Yamapi repeated in annoyed/tinged with fear voice. Fumbling in the dark, Yamapi's hands reached out for the wall, his hands tracing for the light switch. Once the lights were open, an unpleasant surprise met his eyes.
"Eh? Shuuji?! Why are you...Kazuya...you're crying..." Yamapi's voice trailed, he approached Kazuya slowly and kneeled down in front of him.
Kazuya glanced up but quickly looked away, he doesn't want to be seen at his weakest...not by anyone, not even Pi who helped him cope up during the Shuuji to Akira drama he went through. Tears quickly fell down his eyes and the sniffles turned into sobs.
"Don't look at me, please...please don't look at me..."
Yamapi could only look helplessly at his kouhai. He pitied the younger one and he couldn't take seeing Kazuya break down like this in front of him.
He did the only thing that came into his mind.
He pulled Kazuya's arms which were around his knees and pulled him into a tight hug, rubbing his back and placing kisses on his forehead as he mumbled comforting words.
'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you
(Thinking of you, thinking of you)
Thinking of you, what you would do
If you were the one who was spending the night
(Spending the night, spending the night)
Oh, I wish that I was looking into your eyes
Jin left for L.A. and before his flight for the States, he called up Kazuya and talked to him. They talked for hours and well into the night. At the end of the phone call, when Kazuya was starting to tell himself that he and Jin would be okay, Jin said the unimaginable words...
"I'm leaving...six months is a long time. A very long time. Kazuya...don't wait for me."
Kazuya didn't see him at the airport unlike the others. He was on a pretense that he accidentally sprained his ankle earlier when he tripped over Ran-chan. The others took the excuse, ignoring the doubt, but not Pi. Yamapi did not believe it a single word of it.
So when Jin finally boarded his plane and as one by one friends left the airport, Yamapi decided to head over at Kazuya. He knows the younger one is in distress.
Kazuya was in his bedroom, sitting on the floor, dark circles around his eyes. He looked bad and unhealthy. In his hand was his phone and Jin's number was on the screen.
Yamapi was standing outside Kazuya's apartment unit. Deciding whether to check or not to check on Kazuya. He wasn't sure where he stands. He's not the best friend afterall, nor was he a band mate. But he thought, What the hell, I'm his senpai and I'm Akira!
Knocking several times on the door, Yamapi received no answer. He'd been outside for ten minutes already, and he doesn't like standing too long at the same place without doing anything except for knocking. He knocked again, annoyed, he kicked at the door, before trying the knob which fortunately turned open.
Jesus, he did not lock the door?! Yamapi thought anger and shock echoing in his mind.
"Kazuya!" he yelled once he stepped inside the apartment. There was no answer and bad images were already playing in his mind, only Ran-chan's barking signaled life. He quickly kicked his shoes and reached for the bedroom.
"He left already, right? I think I saw his plane just now." Kazuya spoke in a hollow voice, his eyes gazing out the window.
Pi stood by the door, watching Kazuya, watching at the first teardrop roll down his cheek.
"Pi," Kazuya called out "I tried but he wouldn't give me the chance."
Kazuya turned to look at Pi, their eyes meeting. Yamapi sees a broken Kazuya in his eyes. Kazuya sees Jin in his.
You're like an Indian summer in the middle of winter
Like a hard candy with a surprise center
How do I get better once I've had the best?
You said there's tons of fish in the water, so the waters I will test
Jin came back after his hiatus. Kazuya tried his best to move on, the others urged him to, and he was succeeding, regretfully. Little by little, he's trying to overcome Jin's presence, Jin's value. But the moment he saw him inside their dressing room, his resolve to overcome Jin crumbles.
Sure he and Jin were civil to each other, but the fact that the latter is brushing off his presence hurts him to the core. Despite the six month hiatus, which Jin thought would be enough for Kazuya to get over him, it did Kazuya nothing good at all.
He was never over Jin in the first place. He would never be over Jin. And he would never want to be.
He kissed my lips, I taste your mouth, oh!
(Taste your mouth)
He pulled me in, I was disgusted with myself
Yamapi was having insecurities. Yes, Jin was back. His best friend is back. Will Kazuya come back to him, too? He doesn't want to lose Kazuya, not even to Jin. The younger one meant a lot to him. He was the one who picked Kazuya's broken pieces up, he was the one who pieced him back together, he was the one who remained beside Kazuya, he was the one person who kept pushing Kazuya that today isn't the last day.
But Yamapi was scared. He needs assurance from Kazuya, that he would not leave his side. Like he would reciprocate Pi's efforts. Because Kazuya is all Pi has. And he isn't sure he can stand the pain if Kazuya would go back to Jin and be the way they were before.
Yamapi would be heartbroken. And at this moment, he sees Kazuya glance at his best friend, and a tiny crack begins to run down his already delicate heart.
'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you
(Thinking of you, thinking of you)
Thinking of you, what you would do
If you were the one who was spending the night
(Spending the night, spending the night)
Oh, I wish that I was looking into
It was another Johnny's countdown. Between Yamapi and Jin, despite the closeness they show towards each other, the affection, the playfulness, something or someone is holding them back. There was this unspoken tension. And no one dared point it out.
No, they wouldn't say it aloud. Not even the senpais. Jin is back but he had lost Kazuya because the latter is now in the arms of his best friend. And he isn't even doing anything at all.
Kazuya wanted to be with Jin and Jin doesn't know that because he keeps pushing Kazuya away, ignoring him, being civil to him. And Yamapi was holding Kazuya back, begging in silence to please, stay with him.
You're the best, and yes, I do regret
How I could let myself let you go
Now, now the lesson's learned
I touched it, I was burned
Oh, I think you should know!
Kazuya wished he could go back in time. he wished he had the guts to say to Jin the words he wanted to say to him before he flew to L.A. He regretted not being able to say it. And from his current position in life, anyone could tell that he had things left unsaid. His eyes says it all.
Being with Pi is not exactly the happiest thing that ever happened to him. But Pi was the one who made him see the light and he made himself believe that it's Pi he should stay with.
'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you
(Thinking of you, thinking of you)
Thinking of you, what you would do
If you were the one who was spending the night
(Spending the night, spending the night)
Oh, I wish that I was looking into your, your eyes
Looking into your eyes, looking into your eyes
Kazuya and Yamapi are alone in a dressing room. They were sitting beside each other, hands linked, breathing softly. Yamapi had one hand running through Kazuya's hair, his eyes focused on the younger ones face. His jumbled thoughts tangled with each other. Even though Kazuya stayed with him, there was this gnawing feeling inside him. Everytime KAT-TUN are together as a band, he can't help but fret. He might be paranoid, but he's only thinking of having Kazuya, who now is the center of his universe.
"What are you frowning at?" The younger of the two asked.
Yamapi chuckled. "Nothing, just thinking of something."
"Okay. Don't think too much, it's not good for you. You'll get old and have wrinkles..." Kazuya laughed at his words, brushing the back of his hand on Pi's cheek.
Yamapi laughed. He kissed Kazuya's forehead. "Don't tell me that thinking of you makes me old."
Silence engulfed the two of them.
"Pi, can I stay at your place tonight?" Kazuya asked, trying to make up for the last time he refused.
"Sure."
The drive to Yamapi's apartment was quiet but it wasn't awkward. It was calm...serene. And it made Yamapi peacefully happy. The silence relieved him of his tension.
Kazuya lay on the bed, Yamapi was beside him, sleeping. He can't close his eyes because everytime he does, he sees Jin. The night was growing deeper, and Kazuya's thought of Jin gradually lulled him to sleep and his heavy eyes prompted to close.
Yamapi watched him as Kazuya slept beside him, all throughout the time that Kazuya was wide awake, he pretended to be sleeping. The young man snuggled against him making him smile softly and kissing the younger man chastely on the lips.
"Jin..." Kazuya mumbled, snuggling deeper into Yamapi's chest.
Yamapi gasped soundlessly, not wanting to alarm a sleeping Kazuya. He hugged the younger one tighter, and cried himself to sleep.
Oh, won't you walk through?
And bust in the door and take me away?
Oh, no more mistakes
'Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay, stay
Jin was supposed to be happy. He should be happy. But he couldn't ignore the stabbing pain everytime he sees Kazuya with his best friend. It was his fault, he knows it well. He had pushed Kazuya away from him. He was the one who told him not to wait for him any more. Why be sad?
He sat in the darkness of his apartment, a photograph of him and Kazuya in his hand, a cigarette on the other. How he wished he could have turned back the time, take back the words he had said.
Now, he had no one. No Kazuya, and no more Yamapi because it's now Kazuya and Yamapi. He tried to ignore the fact that his best friend have taken Kazuya from him. He tried to be happy for them which unknown to him, Kazuya is also trying to be happy for him.
How he wished that they were still together. But regrets always come in the end, so he was left to regret things, alone.
And tonight, is another sleepless night, thoughts of Kazuya running in his mind.
"Ohayou." Kazuya greeted as he entered the dressing room.
Jin looked up from where he was seated, staring at Kazuya, before nodding his greeting.
Kazuya stood by the door, looking at Jin with unreadable expression in his eyes. Jin reflected Kazuya's inner turmoil. He wanted to speak up, but before he could do so, Yamapi appeared beside Kazuya.
"Kazuya, let's grabbed some breakfast first."
Just seconds after Yamapi dragged an almost unwilling Kazuya, the latter turned to him, in a voiceless whisper he mouthed to Jin...
I still love you.
And Jin broke into tears.
owari.
Pairing: Akame (slight Pikame)
Genre: Drama, Angst
Disclaimer: I own nothing...just the brains and the computer I'm using...
Author's note:
--Setting is on pre and post hiatus of Akanishi Jin
--Inspired by the song Thinking of You by Katy Perry (been listening to her on repeat), Katy Perry-san, daisuki!!!
Summary: Can't find the right summary for this one, better read it...*gomen*
Jin, don't go...
Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one, I still got the seed
KAT-TUN debuted right after the stormy situation that Kazuya has gotten himself into. It was expected to happen though, but there was one thing he never expected to happen. Jin's hiatus. When Jin announced that he would be leaving, his world crumbled, the smile on his face was broken. Kazuya did not know what to do. And he did not want to face Jin. He simply walked away from KAT-TUN's dressing room.
"Kazuya," Nakamaru Yuichi, the oldest in the group called out to him when he started for the door, "aren't you going to say anything at all?" He asked.
Nakamaru's eyes shifted from him to the others who crowded around Jin, questioning him why now.
Kazuya sighed and looked up, his back facing Nakamaru. "There is nothing more I can possibly say...I can't even think. I need some air." With that, Kazuya, opened the door and softly shut it behind him and right then, his tears began to fall despite trying to put up a smile.
You said move on, where do I go?
I guess second best is all I will know
Kazuya choked back a sob. He was inside one of the empty rooms in the Jimusho. He can't believe his luck. First, getting into a misunderstanding with AT-TUN and now, Jin's hiatus. How is he going to handle things when Jin would be gone? Who will he run to? Jin has always been there for him despite the many misunderstandings they had...but the hiatus, it will break them apart, tear them away from each other.
"Why are the damn lights turned off? Oww, shit, I stubbed my toe!!! Who's there?" Yamashita Tomohisa asked in a panicked tone. He doesn't like being in the dark, alone in a room inside the Jimusho. He could hear someone sniffling.
"Who's there?" Yamapi repeated in annoyed/tinged with fear voice. Fumbling in the dark, Yamapi's hands reached out for the wall, his hands tracing for the light switch. Once the lights were open, an unpleasant surprise met his eyes.
"Eh? Shuuji?! Why are you...Kazuya...you're crying..." Yamapi's voice trailed, he approached Kazuya slowly and kneeled down in front of him.
Kazuya glanced up but quickly looked away, he doesn't want to be seen at his weakest...not by anyone, not even Pi who helped him cope up during the Shuuji to Akira drama he went through. Tears quickly fell down his eyes and the sniffles turned into sobs.
"Don't look at me, please...please don't look at me..."
Yamapi could only look helplessly at his kouhai. He pitied the younger one and he couldn't take seeing Kazuya break down like this in front of him.
He did the only thing that came into his mind.
He pulled Kazuya's arms which were around his knees and pulled him into a tight hug, rubbing his back and placing kisses on his forehead as he mumbled comforting words.
'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you
(Thinking of you, thinking of you)
Thinking of you, what you would do
If you were the one who was spending the night
(Spending the night, spending the night)
Oh, I wish that I was looking into your eyes
Jin left for L.A. and before his flight for the States, he called up Kazuya and talked to him. They talked for hours and well into the night. At the end of the phone call, when Kazuya was starting to tell himself that he and Jin would be okay, Jin said the unimaginable words...
"I'm leaving...six months is a long time. A very long time. Kazuya...don't wait for me."
Kazuya didn't see him at the airport unlike the others. He was on a pretense that he accidentally sprained his ankle earlier when he tripped over Ran-chan. The others took the excuse, ignoring the doubt, but not Pi. Yamapi did not believe it a single word of it.
So when Jin finally boarded his plane and as one by one friends left the airport, Yamapi decided to head over at Kazuya. He knows the younger one is in distress.
Kazuya was in his bedroom, sitting on the floor, dark circles around his eyes. He looked bad and unhealthy. In his hand was his phone and Jin's number was on the screen.
Yamapi was standing outside Kazuya's apartment unit. Deciding whether to check or not to check on Kazuya. He wasn't sure where he stands. He's not the best friend afterall, nor was he a band mate. But he thought, What the hell, I'm his senpai and I'm Akira!
Knocking several times on the door, Yamapi received no answer. He'd been outside for ten minutes already, and he doesn't like standing too long at the same place without doing anything except for knocking. He knocked again, annoyed, he kicked at the door, before trying the knob which fortunately turned open.
Jesus, he did not lock the door?! Yamapi thought anger and shock echoing in his mind.
"Kazuya!" he yelled once he stepped inside the apartment. There was no answer and bad images were already playing in his mind, only Ran-chan's barking signaled life. He quickly kicked his shoes and reached for the bedroom.
"He left already, right? I think I saw his plane just now." Kazuya spoke in a hollow voice, his eyes gazing out the window.
Pi stood by the door, watching Kazuya, watching at the first teardrop roll down his cheek.
"Pi," Kazuya called out "I tried but he wouldn't give me the chance."
Kazuya turned to look at Pi, their eyes meeting. Yamapi sees a broken Kazuya in his eyes. Kazuya sees Jin in his.
You're like an Indian summer in the middle of winter
Like a hard candy with a surprise center
How do I get better once I've had the best?
You said there's tons of fish in the water, so the waters I will test
Jin came back after his hiatus. Kazuya tried his best to move on, the others urged him to, and he was succeeding, regretfully. Little by little, he's trying to overcome Jin's presence, Jin's value. But the moment he saw him inside their dressing room, his resolve to overcome Jin crumbles.
Sure he and Jin were civil to each other, but the fact that the latter is brushing off his presence hurts him to the core. Despite the six month hiatus, which Jin thought would be enough for Kazuya to get over him, it did Kazuya nothing good at all.
He was never over Jin in the first place. He would never be over Jin. And he would never want to be.
He kissed my lips, I taste your mouth, oh!
(Taste your mouth)
He pulled me in, I was disgusted with myself
Yamapi was having insecurities. Yes, Jin was back. His best friend is back. Will Kazuya come back to him, too? He doesn't want to lose Kazuya, not even to Jin. The younger one meant a lot to him. He was the one who picked Kazuya's broken pieces up, he was the one who pieced him back together, he was the one who remained beside Kazuya, he was the one person who kept pushing Kazuya that today isn't the last day.
But Yamapi was scared. He needs assurance from Kazuya, that he would not leave his side. Like he would reciprocate Pi's efforts. Because Kazuya is all Pi has. And he isn't sure he can stand the pain if Kazuya would go back to Jin and be the way they were before.
Yamapi would be heartbroken. And at this moment, he sees Kazuya glance at his best friend, and a tiny crack begins to run down his already delicate heart.
'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you
(Thinking of you, thinking of you)
Thinking of you, what you would do
If you were the one who was spending the night
(Spending the night, spending the night)
Oh, I wish that I was looking into
It was another Johnny's countdown. Between Yamapi and Jin, despite the closeness they show towards each other, the affection, the playfulness, something or someone is holding them back. There was this unspoken tension. And no one dared point it out.
No, they wouldn't say it aloud. Not even the senpais. Jin is back but he had lost Kazuya because the latter is now in the arms of his best friend. And he isn't even doing anything at all.
Kazuya wanted to be with Jin and Jin doesn't know that because he keeps pushing Kazuya away, ignoring him, being civil to him. And Yamapi was holding Kazuya back, begging in silence to please, stay with him.
You're the best, and yes, I do regret
How I could let myself let you go
Now, now the lesson's learned
I touched it, I was burned
Oh, I think you should know!
Kazuya wished he could go back in time. he wished he had the guts to say to Jin the words he wanted to say to him before he flew to L.A. He regretted not being able to say it. And from his current position in life, anyone could tell that he had things left unsaid. His eyes says it all.
Being with Pi is not exactly the happiest thing that ever happened to him. But Pi was the one who made him see the light and he made himself believe that it's Pi he should stay with.
'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you
(Thinking of you, thinking of you)
Thinking of you, what you would do
If you were the one who was spending the night
(Spending the night, spending the night)
Oh, I wish that I was looking into your, your eyes
Looking into your eyes, looking into your eyes
Kazuya and Yamapi are alone in a dressing room. They were sitting beside each other, hands linked, breathing softly. Yamapi had one hand running through Kazuya's hair, his eyes focused on the younger ones face. His jumbled thoughts tangled with each other. Even though Kazuya stayed with him, there was this gnawing feeling inside him. Everytime KAT-TUN are together as a band, he can't help but fret. He might be paranoid, but he's only thinking of having Kazuya, who now is the center of his universe.
"What are you frowning at?" The younger of the two asked.
Yamapi chuckled. "Nothing, just thinking of something."
"Okay. Don't think too much, it's not good for you. You'll get old and have wrinkles..." Kazuya laughed at his words, brushing the back of his hand on Pi's cheek.
Yamapi laughed. He kissed Kazuya's forehead. "Don't tell me that thinking of you makes me old."
Silence engulfed the two of them.
"Pi, can I stay at your place tonight?" Kazuya asked, trying to make up for the last time he refused.
"Sure."
The drive to Yamapi's apartment was quiet but it wasn't awkward. It was calm...serene. And it made Yamapi peacefully happy. The silence relieved him of his tension.
Kazuya lay on the bed, Yamapi was beside him, sleeping. He can't close his eyes because everytime he does, he sees Jin. The night was growing deeper, and Kazuya's thought of Jin gradually lulled him to sleep and his heavy eyes prompted to close.
Yamapi watched him as Kazuya slept beside him, all throughout the time that Kazuya was wide awake, he pretended to be sleeping. The young man snuggled against him making him smile softly and kissing the younger man chastely on the lips.
"Jin..." Kazuya mumbled, snuggling deeper into Yamapi's chest.
Yamapi gasped soundlessly, not wanting to alarm a sleeping Kazuya. He hugged the younger one tighter, and cried himself to sleep.
Oh, won't you walk through?
And bust in the door and take me away?
Oh, no more mistakes
'Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay, stay
Jin was supposed to be happy. He should be happy. But he couldn't ignore the stabbing pain everytime he sees Kazuya with his best friend. It was his fault, he knows it well. He had pushed Kazuya away from him. He was the one who told him not to wait for him any more. Why be sad?
He sat in the darkness of his apartment, a photograph of him and Kazuya in his hand, a cigarette on the other. How he wished he could have turned back the time, take back the words he had said.
Now, he had no one. No Kazuya, and no more Yamapi because it's now Kazuya and Yamapi. He tried to ignore the fact that his best friend have taken Kazuya from him. He tried to be happy for them which unknown to him, Kazuya is also trying to be happy for him.
How he wished that they were still together. But regrets always come in the end, so he was left to regret things, alone.
And tonight, is another sleepless night, thoughts of Kazuya running in his mind.
"Ohayou." Kazuya greeted as he entered the dressing room.
Jin looked up from where he was seated, staring at Kazuya, before nodding his greeting.
Kazuya stood by the door, looking at Jin with unreadable expression in his eyes. Jin reflected Kazuya's inner turmoil. He wanted to speak up, but before he could do so, Yamapi appeared beside Kazuya.
"Kazuya, let's grabbed some breakfast first."
Just seconds after Yamapi dragged an almost unwilling Kazuya, the latter turned to him, in a voiceless whisper he mouthed to Jin...
I still love you.
And Jin broke into tears.
owari.