(no subject)
HI THERE. Those of you reading this fall into one of two categories:
1. probably went to bitchinparty
2. has no clue what bitchinparty is in the first place
So for everyone in group 2, I went to a fancon a while back in the Seattleland area, where I hung out with lots of fangirls (and two fanboys) and talked about fandom and laughed so hard I gave myself a headache and and and.
And for everyone in group one, I KIND OF MISS YOU LIKE BURNING. I PROPOSE A CON DO-OVER, EVERYONE COME BACK. Y/N?
I went to Bitchin' Party, and THERE WAS AN ACTUAL LOVE-TENTACLE, TRUFAX.
Indeed! Okay, I'm going to warn you now -- I suck at names. I suck at remembering people/things. I suck at remembering the order of events. Are you seeing a pattern here? If I've left you out, or mis-remembered you, or don't dedicate a paragraph to all the facets of your sparkling personality, it's not because I hate you. It's because I suck. But that's kind of the theme of this journal, so it's best if you get used to that early, really. Also, I swear a lot in my journal. WHAT, NO LADY-LIKE MANNERS ON THE INTERNET, WHAT?
Um. Er, right. So I flew into Seattle on Tuesday night, and spent Tuesday - Thursday sitting around jarrow's room and hanging out with his roommate and his roommate's friend. They are excellent people, and we got to experience the greatest toy ever made (Darth Vader Laptop for kids), so I feel that bond can never really be torn asunder. Also, note to self: don't visit John during his busiest time of year, since his work will kidnap him for hours and hours and hours, even when he's supposed to be home doing awesome things. But hey, I got to sort of lounge about and nap a lot, which worked out since I was STILL fighting Cold That Would Not Die. In fact, the cold didn't really go away until Sunday, so I was mildly crankypants through the entire con. Somehow, most people seemed to tolerate me anyway, I can only assume because they're into pain. [shrug]
And fyi, all of that [points above] was written TWO WEEKS AGO. Also, a theme of this journal (meaning to post...not actually getting around to it). Anyway, it's now a glorious Sunday and I'm just going to post the bits I've still remembered...and also, pictures. Other people (many, many other people) have covered most antics, mine and otherwise, in much better detail. And no, cathybites, I didn't drink alcohol out of an in-room coffee pot this time. You know I save that shit for when you're around.
So, Thursday night, John made me go to the motherfucking AIRPORT to pick up STRANGERS WHO I WOULD PROBABLY DISLIKE. (This is, fyi, what the rest of the world feels like to me when I'm sick. Other people, making me do shit, for lame reasons. I'm never joking when I say I'm the worst sick person to ever walk the earth.) Now, these strangers were, uh, pipsqueaky and greensilver, so you know, eventually I was okay with the fact that I got dragged out to the fucking. airport. at. night. to sit around and wait for them and their bullshit stuff. (Spoiler: I hate the airport.) While there, we also ran into OTHER STRANGERS WHO I WOULD PROBABLY DISLIKE (brynnmck, troyswann, ignazwisdom, none of whom I disliked at all, but that's not really relevant to story yet), and are you seeing a pattern to my mood at that point? So eventually I was like, "fuck it, I'm sitting down on this chair over here and waving from afar." I would have not waved from afar had the chairs been NOT ATTACHED TO THE GROUND/EACH OTHER but since it's the goddamn AIRPORT, that's not an option. Also, the only reason anyone aside from Jen is being name-checked with their lj name is because I'm totally cheating and looking at John's con report, but then the only reason I even know Jen's lj name now is because we like to IM with each other and promise to kill everyone who's pissing the other person off. I'm super-pleased that the next time I fly out to Seattle, she will be there, although I'm afraid she might actually make me murder some people. ...But I guess if I have a cold at the time, I'd probably be game.
PS - At one point early in the con, Jen walked up to me and held out her fists, and said, "This one's for your face...and this one's for your baby-maker." BESTILL MY HEART [swoon]
Also, I would just like to say right now that brynnmck is the prettiest princess to ever princess her way through running a con. I feel comfortable singling her out for this because anyone else who was there knows she definitely deserves it. I would totally cover her with glitter and feed her ice cream and get her soft pillows to take naps on if I could...which sounds like I want to stick her in a Laura Frank scenescape, but whatever. Girl deserves a spa day after everything she put together and executed, and yet every time I saw her at the con, she was in a good mood and just as excited to be there as any other person attending. I spent like, four weeks calling around at hotels for WinchesterCon and was contemplating not even GOING BACK THIS YEAR (even when it was going to be IN MY TOWN) because I found even just that part to be irritating as shit. (I have issues, I don't know. Something about having to speak in code with hotel staff, all, "well, we're a...writers' convention...?") So Brynn, I have no idea how you put this whole con together, and if I had a hat, I'd take it off for you. Actually, come to think, anything of mine that you want me to take off for you, I'll gladly do it. ;) (BRYNN IS PRETTY. AND NOT IN THAT METAPHORICAL "BEAUTY'S ON THE INSIDE" CRAP WAY. THE OUTSIDE WAY. V. PRETTY.)
So anyway! People were retrieved eventually from that goddamn suckhole of humanity (aka airport), John and Jen had to go BACK THERE just to get Pips off her delayed plane, while I stayed home and tried to drink away my illness. And then I don't know, I think I stood in a kitchen and talked to everyone who would listen about my not-boyfriend and how he's awesome in every way. Whatever, I was drunk and I missed him.
And so then, SIX PARAGRAHS LATER, the con started! WHO IS THE PERSON WHO DID THIS?:
COME FORWARD SO I CAN HUMP YOUR LEG. Seriously, best possible start to the whole thing. Also, lots of people milling around, con table stuff, con packet (WITH STICKERS AND TOYS), rah rah rah. I saw Brynn setting stuff up for the food table, and since I love to 1) horn in on things and 2) organize things, this looked like a golden opportunity to simultaneously accomplish both. \o/ So I got to carry boxes and shove things around for a while, and then we (we being...people not me, god I don't know, I was mostly following John, Jen and Pips around all weekend like an ill toddler) decided to get food at the hotel's restaurant. Poor hotel restaurant, charging Boston prices for semi-crap food, which never made it out of the kitchen in under an hour.
Also I took this picture of John at some point, which makes me suspect I have a career as a drivers license photographer at a DMV somewhere, some day:
OH HAI.
And so then we watched vids (one of, uh, five thousand times we watched vids that weekend...fyi, watching vids with a bunch of vidders (who aren't John, who is used to my wildly divergent ideas) is an interesting experience, since I'm not really in that fandom, so to speak. Especially since I have the thinnest of thin backgrounds in film, and so approach that kind of thing expecting different things (I guess?), and so some stuff that everyone just loves the hell out of, I was like "...seriously?" But hey, watching media is always a win in my book, even if it's stuff I'm mentally noting with, "yeah, I wouldn't have used that shot" etc.)
And THEN we sat down to watch Dante's Cove. Let me tell you my history with this fucking show. John bought it for til_shes_irish and tipofaspoon for Xmas, and insisted, INSISTED, that the three of us watch it together on New Year's Eve. Which we did. And then we contemplated never speaking to John again, because it was BAD. Not FUN-BAD. Just. AWFUL. Waste-of-time awful. I thought the first 10 minutes were pretty fucking great, but once it stopped being a period piece about GAY WITCHES AND EYE-BURNINATION, I lost all interest and actually wanted to somehow make sure John died an hour and a half before he was supposed to, as a way to somehow try and get revenge for taking that time away from me.
Little did I know, Dante's Cove actually requires a room full of 40 or so people. Because THEN, it is MAGICAL. I had a pounding headache from laughing so hard, and I didn't even care, and I couldn't stop laughing. The whole thing is like one giant, "you had to be there", but in a crowd that big, YOU ARE THERE, WHERE YOU HAD TO BE, and suddenly everything is hilarious. Having John and sdwolfpup next to me and signaling when comedy was about to happen really helped, too. (I will always be able to see them simultaneously throwing up their hands and going, "SHIRT!" and it will always make me laugh.)
But what I really want to talk to you about is DOLL MOUNTIE PORNO. I'm going to give that a new line, just to draw the eye:
DOLL MOUNTIE PORNO.
That's better. You see, our seating aisle for the Dante's Cove viewing featured mrs_laugh_track and, more importantly, her Mountie Barbie. This was great because Pips had her Male Mountie with her in her backpack, and I had my digital camera. And thus the story unfolded.
First, we discovered that what's a Paul Gross Arms for Male Mountie is really just a Slutty Boob Flash for Mountie Barbie:
I'm not sure why we chose to open her shirt, either. I think there was some discussion about how it can't really be a jacket if there's no shirt underneath? Eh. Not the point. The point is that Male Mountie COULD NOT CONTROL HIS MALE MOUNTIE URGES:
For some reason, I titled that picture, "slow dance to violence", and I have no memory of doing so. Way to go, subconscious! Because you see, Male Mountie comes with a gun! (Why didn't we make any Male Mountie/Sock-Puppet Joe Dick photoslash?!?! WHYYYY!) And as the studies show, guns only escalate a situation:
OH NOES! And then he grabs for the boob:
And then, the tragic Mountie non-con, or as I like to call it, SURPRISE HETEROSEXUAL BUTTSECHS:
I'm pretty sure he's doing Paul Gross Arms at the same time, too. I also like how it looks as if Mountie Barbie is clinging to Sonia's finger for solace. And by "like" I mean "am mildly disturbed by". The guilt, in the end, proves to be too much for Male Mountie to live with, so he takes his own life. I wasn't sure if Sonia was okay with having her picture on the internets, so I replaced her head with Prince Edward from Enchanted:
THUS ENDETH THE MOUNTIE PORNO. Also yes, I know, my Photoshop skills are phenomenal, I work very hard.
Uh, uh, more recapping! That's right, okay so then we watched some Twitch City? I was very sleepy. Callum Keith Rennie is adorable. That's the only mental note I have from that. Well, that and, "Must own Twitch City." And then we went home and I got to crawl into bed with John's hot hot hot roommate, whose hotness is only rivaled by the softness and comfort of his bed. And then I had to listen to John and Pips giggleflirt it up for like, HOURS, GOD YOU GUYS. ;)
I don't know when I took this picture, but I'm throwing it in here at the start of Saturday, and I can tell you right now that if it's the only thing I see for the rest of my life, I'm okay with it:
SOCK-PUPPET JOE DICK. SOCK. PUPPET. JOE DICK. I wake up every day and try to figure out how to make troyswann love me enough to make me a Sock-Puppet Billy Talent. I wish I was making that up and/or that I had some ideas. YOU GUYS, SPJD COMES WITH A TINY BOOZE GLASS AND AN EQUALLY TINY REVOLVER. djkaf;dkfjha;dsfkdas;fadskdl;afjda;dakf;ldakfj;daslkfdja;sfhdjs
Yes, that was a long keyboard mash, but can you blame me? LOOK INTO HIS ADORABLE SOCKY EYES!
Saturday! Panels! I apparently had many, many thoughts about Farscape, some of which some people found entertaining, thank god. Seriously, though, if anyone ever REALLY wants to hear me go off on plot-as-commentary-about-US-foreign-policy-in-the-20th-century, talk to me about Stargate: Atlantis sometime. No, I'm not kidding. (But no, I don't think they're doing it quite on purpose, either. Which almost makes it better.) Also, I got to say, "Chiana's a whooooooore" a lot, which as I'm sure you can figure out, always makes me happy. And then it was the panel that I was calling (in my head) Ladies in a Man's World panel, modded EXPERTLY by Jen. Next time, can we make her mod everything? Just because it's fun to watch her in school marm mode? And then food, vidding/napping, and then.
AND THEN.
FANDOM PICTIONARY. Which I, admittedly, was sekritly thinking would be lame, but which was THE BEST. THING. EVER. If I had some magical way to rewatch that, I think I would maybe tear up with happiness every time I watched the part where the room was trying to guess one of the doodles, going, "uh, plot hole? guy in the bottom of a well?" and suddenly the clear voice of sansets from the back yelling, "FARSCAPE." Also, I'm pretty sure in said magical re-watching, you'd see me do a TRIPLE TAKE and go, "HOW is that FARSCAPE?!" I still don't know. I guess it's the window of Moya? I don't care, it just makes me happy that we have this THING now. Seriously, the fannish shorthand that developed was startling and hilarious and kind of like watching del.icio.us tags in live-motion or something. Can we all get together and play next weekend? I'm free. For reference, these were the prompts and this (sans chicken) is the new symbol for Farscape. (Chicken explanation coming shortly)
And then there was food and getting pretty for the VID SHOW. I am apparently the only person alive who has seen the Prince Show sketch on SNL, but just know that I was singing the Prince Show theme in my head with the lyrics, "It's the Vid Show! It's vids, yo!" and having a marvelous time all to myself. Also, slutty dress:
BRYNN SAID TO DRESS UP. SHE DID. Yes, those are glowstick earrings. Yes, they came in the con packet. That's John's pimp hat and glasses.
And and and then we ran into isiscolo, and I had a WEIRDO attack of fangirl shyness, and so I never actually introduced myself to her (introduction would have gone, "hi, you're the reason I'm in due south fandom and have seen ANY media associated with Paul Gross and Callum Keith Rennie, I'm really sorry about that time I didn't pay attention to the download limit and took like, six episodes in one day, ilu." SEE, IT WAS FOR THE BEST THAT I SAID NOTHING). But instead, she attacked me with her tentacle:
...but I grew to like it (how out of character of me):
Uh, could I be any more pinkly pale? Christ, cspan, get some sun.
AND THEN THERE WERE VIDS. Many many vids, most of which I enjoyed a great deal (see again: my weird issues...I think maybe I just don't get some stuff and require hand-holding to explain the brilliance). Here is the list of the vids, and please, if you do nothing else, please watch "Maneater". It's only the best vid ever made. IT'S A WIZARD PEOPLE DEAR READER VID FOR FUCK'S SAKE, god, the genius, I can't even. When the title card came up, I may have reflexively screamed "YES" and then had to quiet myself down in preparation for THE WICKED WOMAN who casts a look at Harry that makes his scar hurt. Seriously. Go. Watch. YAY VIDZ!!! sdwolfpup's powers are massive, it was truly a Get Psyched Mix, only of vids.
Oh, oh, and you guys. We played Rock Band. We played Rock Band a LOT. And it RULED. Again, due to not being sure about images being okay/not okay, and since there were multiple people in the photo, I just cropped everyone out and FOCUS ON ME, OKAY, ME AND MY DRUMMING:
That is the look of a student, becoming a master. ...okay, no actually I was just okay on the easy setting (ha. ha ha.) but it was still funnn and I FELT like I was doing a lot, which is really all those games are supposed to do. Also, John is a dork who thought that, despite them being totally different games made by totally different companies, the play sequence for "Synchronicity II" on Expert would be the same in Guitar Hero and Rock Band. Lamer.
Sunday Sunday Sunday was the Slings and Arrows panel, which was basically more of Jen being a moderating BAD ASS NEW GOD, and I was renewed in my commitment to downloading the rest of seasons 2 and 3, because I do indeed adore S&A. And then I have NO MEMORY OF WHAT I DID. What did I do? Did I do it with you? Drop a comment. Actually, I may have been on the phone, come to think. I don't know, remembering things is hard. Brain...difficult.
The key thing to remember here is that I nearly-won the Dinosaur Comics make-your-own comic contest, because I'm a winner. And, just like in the actual con, writing this recap is making me punchy, which means that I'll probably start cracking myself up again telling this story:
So the con is over. People are loitering. Also, in the con packets, people were given little stamps of things (giraffes, happy faces, etc...mine was a peace sign), but there were extras out on the con table. So Jen goes over to one of the easels and starts stamping and possibly drawing. I'm not sure if she drew the sun, but there was a sun. And there were stamps. Of chickens. And not like, a few chickens. MANY, MANY chickens. Making up their own color scheme and pattern. Jen was very methodical about this, the way only a five-year-old can be. So John and Pips and I mosey over to see wtf Jen is doing, and she's just stamping away at her sun with her chicken stamp. And the she steps back, clears her throat, and goes,
"I think this artwork has a lot to say. Did you see how the sun was made of chickens?"
I CAN'T EXPLAIN WHY THIS MADE ME LAUGH UNTIL I CRIED, BUT IT DID. OH DID IT EVER. Also, Jen said she's okay with photos of her posted in friendslock, but since I'm not locking this, we decided to replace her with someone who would actually think the sun was made of chickens: Giselle from Enchanted.
COULD NOT. STOP LAUGHING. I was crying, Jen fell onto the floor, and John and Pips were just staring at us and taking pictures.
ZOMG BITCHIN' PARTY. It is late, and I am tired, and while many other lovely things happened, these are the things I wrote about before I nearly passed out on my keyboard. \o/
1. probably went to bitchinparty
2. has no clue what bitchinparty is in the first place
So for everyone in group 2, I went to a fancon a while back in the Seattleland area, where I hung out with lots of fangirls (and two fanboys) and talked about fandom and laughed so hard I gave myself a headache and and and.
And for everyone in group one, I KIND OF MISS YOU LIKE BURNING. I PROPOSE A CON DO-OVER, EVERYONE COME BACK. Y/N?
I went to Bitchin' Party, and THERE WAS AN ACTUAL LOVE-TENTACLE, TRUFAX.
Indeed! Okay, I'm going to warn you now -- I suck at names. I suck at remembering people/things. I suck at remembering the order of events. Are you seeing a pattern here? If I've left you out, or mis-remembered you, or don't dedicate a paragraph to all the facets of your sparkling personality, it's not because I hate you. It's because I suck. But that's kind of the theme of this journal, so it's best if you get used to that early, really. Also, I swear a lot in my journal. WHAT, NO LADY-LIKE MANNERS ON THE INTERNET, WHAT?
Um. Er, right. So I flew into Seattle on Tuesday night, and spent Tuesday - Thursday sitting around jarrow's room and hanging out with his roommate and his roommate's friend. They are excellent people, and we got to experience the greatest toy ever made (Darth Vader Laptop for kids), so I feel that bond can never really be torn asunder. Also, note to self: don't visit John during his busiest time of year, since his work will kidnap him for hours and hours and hours, even when he's supposed to be home doing awesome things. But hey, I got to sort of lounge about and nap a lot, which worked out since I was STILL fighting Cold That Would Not Die. In fact, the cold didn't really go away until Sunday, so I was mildly crankypants through the entire con. Somehow, most people seemed to tolerate me anyway, I can only assume because they're into pain. [shrug]
And fyi, all of that [points above] was written TWO WEEKS AGO. Also, a theme of this journal (meaning to post...not actually getting around to it). Anyway, it's now a glorious Sunday and I'm just going to post the bits I've still remembered...and also, pictures. Other people (many, many other people) have covered most antics, mine and otherwise, in much better detail. And no, cathybites, I didn't drink alcohol out of an in-room coffee pot this time. You know I save that shit for when you're around.
So, Thursday night, John made me go to the motherfucking AIRPORT to pick up STRANGERS WHO I WOULD PROBABLY DISLIKE. (This is, fyi, what the rest of the world feels like to me when I'm sick. Other people, making me do shit, for lame reasons. I'm never joking when I say I'm the worst sick person to ever walk the earth.) Now, these strangers were, uh, pipsqueaky and greensilver, so you know, eventually I was okay with the fact that I got dragged out to the fucking. airport. at. night. to sit around and wait for them and their bullshit stuff. (Spoiler: I hate the airport.) While there, we also ran into OTHER STRANGERS WHO I WOULD PROBABLY DISLIKE (brynnmck, troyswann, ignazwisdom, none of whom I disliked at all, but that's not really relevant to story yet), and are you seeing a pattern to my mood at that point? So eventually I was like, "fuck it, I'm sitting down on this chair over here and waving from afar." I would have not waved from afar had the chairs been NOT ATTACHED TO THE GROUND/EACH OTHER but since it's the goddamn AIRPORT, that's not an option. Also, the only reason anyone aside from Jen is being name-checked with their lj name is because I'm totally cheating and looking at John's con report, but then the only reason I even know Jen's lj name now is because we like to IM with each other and promise to kill everyone who's pissing the other person off. I'm super-pleased that the next time I fly out to Seattle, she will be there, although I'm afraid she might actually make me murder some people. ...But I guess if I have a cold at the time, I'd probably be game.
PS - At one point early in the con, Jen walked up to me and held out her fists, and said, "This one's for your face...and this one's for your baby-maker." BESTILL MY HEART [swoon]
Also, I would just like to say right now that brynnmck is the prettiest princess to ever princess her way through running a con. I feel comfortable singling her out for this because anyone else who was there knows she definitely deserves it. I would totally cover her with glitter and feed her ice cream and get her soft pillows to take naps on if I could...which sounds like I want to stick her in a Laura Frank scenescape, but whatever. Girl deserves a spa day after everything she put together and executed, and yet every time I saw her at the con, she was in a good mood and just as excited to be there as any other person attending. I spent like, four weeks calling around at hotels for WinchesterCon and was contemplating not even GOING BACK THIS YEAR (even when it was going to be IN MY TOWN) because I found even just that part to be irritating as shit. (I have issues, I don't know. Something about having to speak in code with hotel staff, all, "well, we're a...writers' convention...?") So Brynn, I have no idea how you put this whole con together, and if I had a hat, I'd take it off for you. Actually, come to think, anything of mine that you want me to take off for you, I'll gladly do it. ;) (BRYNN IS PRETTY. AND NOT IN THAT METAPHORICAL "BEAUTY'S ON THE INSIDE" CRAP WAY. THE OUTSIDE WAY. V. PRETTY.)
So anyway! People were retrieved eventually from that goddamn suckhole of humanity (aka airport), John and Jen had to go BACK THERE just to get Pips off her delayed plane, while I stayed home and tried to drink away my illness. And then I don't know, I think I stood in a kitchen and talked to everyone who would listen about my not-boyfriend and how he's awesome in every way. Whatever, I was drunk and I missed him.
And so then, SIX PARAGRAHS LATER, the con started! WHO IS THE PERSON WHO DID THIS?:
COME FORWARD SO I CAN HUMP YOUR LEG. Seriously, best possible start to the whole thing. Also, lots of people milling around, con table stuff, con packet (WITH STICKERS AND TOYS), rah rah rah. I saw Brynn setting stuff up for the food table, and since I love to 1) horn in on things and 2) organize things, this looked like a golden opportunity to simultaneously accomplish both. \o/ So I got to carry boxes and shove things around for a while, and then we (we being...people not me, god I don't know, I was mostly following John, Jen and Pips around all weekend like an ill toddler) decided to get food at the hotel's restaurant. Poor hotel restaurant, charging Boston prices for semi-crap food, which never made it out of the kitchen in under an hour.
Also I took this picture of John at some point, which makes me suspect I have a career as a drivers license photographer at a DMV somewhere, some day:
OH HAI.
And so then we watched vids (one of, uh, five thousand times we watched vids that weekend...fyi, watching vids with a bunch of vidders (who aren't John, who is used to my wildly divergent ideas) is an interesting experience, since I'm not really in that fandom, so to speak. Especially since I have the thinnest of thin backgrounds in film, and so approach that kind of thing expecting different things (I guess?), and so some stuff that everyone just loves the hell out of, I was like "...seriously?" But hey, watching media is always a win in my book, even if it's stuff I'm mentally noting with, "yeah, I wouldn't have used that shot" etc.)
And THEN we sat down to watch Dante's Cove. Let me tell you my history with this fucking show. John bought it for til_shes_irish and tipofaspoon for Xmas, and insisted, INSISTED, that the three of us watch it together on New Year's Eve. Which we did. And then we contemplated never speaking to John again, because it was BAD. Not FUN-BAD. Just. AWFUL. Waste-of-time awful. I thought the first 10 minutes were pretty fucking great, but once it stopped being a period piece about GAY WITCHES AND EYE-BURNINATION, I lost all interest and actually wanted to somehow make sure John died an hour and a half before he was supposed to, as a way to somehow try and get revenge for taking that time away from me.
Little did I know, Dante's Cove actually requires a room full of 40 or so people. Because THEN, it is MAGICAL. I had a pounding headache from laughing so hard, and I didn't even care, and I couldn't stop laughing. The whole thing is like one giant, "you had to be there", but in a crowd that big, YOU ARE THERE, WHERE YOU HAD TO BE, and suddenly everything is hilarious. Having John and sdwolfpup next to me and signaling when comedy was about to happen really helped, too. (I will always be able to see them simultaneously throwing up their hands and going, "SHIRT!" and it will always make me laugh.)
But what I really want to talk to you about is DOLL MOUNTIE PORNO. I'm going to give that a new line, just to draw the eye:
DOLL MOUNTIE PORNO.
That's better. You see, our seating aisle for the Dante's Cove viewing featured mrs_laugh_track and, more importantly, her Mountie Barbie. This was great because Pips had her Male Mountie with her in her backpack, and I had my digital camera. And thus the story unfolded.
First, we discovered that what's a Paul Gross Arms for Male Mountie is really just a Slutty Boob Flash for Mountie Barbie:
I'm not sure why we chose to open her shirt, either. I think there was some discussion about how it can't really be a jacket if there's no shirt underneath? Eh. Not the point. The point is that Male Mountie COULD NOT CONTROL HIS MALE MOUNTIE URGES:
For some reason, I titled that picture, "slow dance to violence", and I have no memory of doing so. Way to go, subconscious! Because you see, Male Mountie comes with a gun! (Why didn't we make any Male Mountie/Sock-Puppet Joe Dick photoslash?!?! WHYYYY!) And as the studies show, guns only escalate a situation:
OH NOES! And then he grabs for the boob:
And then, the tragic Mountie non-con, or as I like to call it, SURPRISE HETEROSEXUAL BUTTSECHS:
I'm pretty sure he's doing Paul Gross Arms at the same time, too. I also like how it looks as if Mountie Barbie is clinging to Sonia's finger for solace. And by "like" I mean "am mildly disturbed by". The guilt, in the end, proves to be too much for Male Mountie to live with, so he takes his own life. I wasn't sure if Sonia was okay with having her picture on the internets, so I replaced her head with Prince Edward from Enchanted:
THUS ENDETH THE MOUNTIE PORNO. Also yes, I know, my Photoshop skills are phenomenal, I work very hard.
Uh, uh, more recapping! That's right, okay so then we watched some Twitch City? I was very sleepy. Callum Keith Rennie is adorable. That's the only mental note I have from that. Well, that and, "Must own Twitch City." And then we went home and I got to crawl into bed with John's hot hot hot roommate, whose hotness is only rivaled by the softness and comfort of his bed. And then I had to listen to John and Pips giggleflirt it up for like, HOURS, GOD YOU GUYS. ;)
I don't know when I took this picture, but I'm throwing it in here at the start of Saturday, and I can tell you right now that if it's the only thing I see for the rest of my life, I'm okay with it:
SOCK-PUPPET JOE DICK. SOCK. PUPPET. JOE DICK. I wake up every day and try to figure out how to make troyswann love me enough to make me a Sock-Puppet Billy Talent. I wish I was making that up and/or that I had some ideas. YOU GUYS, SPJD COMES WITH A TINY BOOZE GLASS AND AN EQUALLY TINY REVOLVER. djkaf;dkfjha;dsfkdas;fadskdl;afjda;dakf;ldakfj;daslkfdja;sfhdjs
Yes, that was a long keyboard mash, but can you blame me? LOOK INTO HIS ADORABLE SOCKY EYES!
Saturday! Panels! I apparently had many, many thoughts about Farscape, some of which some people found entertaining, thank god. Seriously, though, if anyone ever REALLY wants to hear me go off on plot-as-commentary-about-US-foreign-policy-in-the-20th-century, talk to me about Stargate: Atlantis sometime. No, I'm not kidding. (But no, I don't think they're doing it quite on purpose, either. Which almost makes it better.) Also, I got to say, "Chiana's a whooooooore" a lot, which as I'm sure you can figure out, always makes me happy. And then it was the panel that I was calling (in my head) Ladies in a Man's World panel, modded EXPERTLY by Jen. Next time, can we make her mod everything? Just because it's fun to watch her in school marm mode? And then food, vidding/napping, and then.
AND THEN.
FANDOM PICTIONARY. Which I, admittedly, was sekritly thinking would be lame, but which was THE BEST. THING. EVER. If I had some magical way to rewatch that, I think I would maybe tear up with happiness every time I watched the part where the room was trying to guess one of the doodles, going, "uh, plot hole? guy in the bottom of a well?" and suddenly the clear voice of sansets from the back yelling, "FARSCAPE." Also, I'm pretty sure in said magical re-watching, you'd see me do a TRIPLE TAKE and go, "HOW is that FARSCAPE?!" I still don't know. I guess it's the window of Moya? I don't care, it just makes me happy that we have this THING now. Seriously, the fannish shorthand that developed was startling and hilarious and kind of like watching del.icio.us tags in live-motion or something. Can we all get together and play next weekend? I'm free. For reference, these were the prompts and this (sans chicken) is the new symbol for Farscape. (Chicken explanation coming shortly)
And then there was food and getting pretty for the VID SHOW. I am apparently the only person alive who has seen the Prince Show sketch on SNL, but just know that I was singing the Prince Show theme in my head with the lyrics, "It's the Vid Show! It's vids, yo!" and having a marvelous time all to myself. Also, slutty dress:
BRYNN SAID TO DRESS UP. SHE DID. Yes, those are glowstick earrings. Yes, they came in the con packet. That's John's pimp hat and glasses.
And and and then we ran into isiscolo, and I had a WEIRDO attack of fangirl shyness, and so I never actually introduced myself to her (introduction would have gone, "hi, you're the reason I'm in due south fandom and have seen ANY media associated with Paul Gross and Callum Keith Rennie, I'm really sorry about that time I didn't pay attention to the download limit and took like, six episodes in one day, ilu." SEE, IT WAS FOR THE BEST THAT I SAID NOTHING). But instead, she attacked me with her tentacle:
...but I grew to like it (how out of character of me):
Uh, could I be any more pinkly pale? Christ, cspan, get some sun.
AND THEN THERE WERE VIDS. Many many vids, most of which I enjoyed a great deal (see again: my weird issues...I think maybe I just don't get some stuff and require hand-holding to explain the brilliance). Here is the list of the vids, and please, if you do nothing else, please watch "Maneater". It's only the best vid ever made. IT'S A WIZARD PEOPLE DEAR READER VID FOR FUCK'S SAKE, god, the genius, I can't even. When the title card came up, I may have reflexively screamed "YES" and then had to quiet myself down in preparation for THE WICKED WOMAN who casts a look at Harry that makes his scar hurt. Seriously. Go. Watch. YAY VIDZ!!! sdwolfpup's powers are massive, it was truly a Get Psyched Mix, only of vids.
Oh, oh, and you guys. We played Rock Band. We played Rock Band a LOT. And it RULED. Again, due to not being sure about images being okay/not okay, and since there were multiple people in the photo, I just cropped everyone out and FOCUS ON ME, OKAY, ME AND MY DRUMMING:
That is the look of a student, becoming a master. ...okay, no actually I was just okay on the easy setting (ha. ha ha.) but it was still funnn and I FELT like I was doing a lot, which is really all those games are supposed to do. Also, John is a dork who thought that, despite them being totally different games made by totally different companies, the play sequence for "Synchronicity II" on Expert would be the same in Guitar Hero and Rock Band. Lamer.
Sunday Sunday Sunday was the Slings and Arrows panel, which was basically more of Jen being a moderating BAD ASS NEW GOD, and I was renewed in my commitment to downloading the rest of seasons 2 and 3, because I do indeed adore S&A. And then I have NO MEMORY OF WHAT I DID. What did I do? Did I do it with you? Drop a comment. Actually, I may have been on the phone, come to think. I don't know, remembering things is hard. Brain...difficult.
The key thing to remember here is that I nearly-won the Dinosaur Comics make-your-own comic contest, because I'm a winner. And, just like in the actual con, writing this recap is making me punchy, which means that I'll probably start cracking myself up again telling this story:
So the con is over. People are loitering. Also, in the con packets, people were given little stamps of things (giraffes, happy faces, etc...mine was a peace sign), but there were extras out on the con table. So Jen goes over to one of the easels and starts stamping and possibly drawing. I'm not sure if she drew the sun, but there was a sun. And there were stamps. Of chickens. And not like, a few chickens. MANY, MANY chickens. Making up their own color scheme and pattern. Jen was very methodical about this, the way only a five-year-old can be. So John and Pips and I mosey over to see wtf Jen is doing, and she's just stamping away at her sun with her chicken stamp. And the she steps back, clears her throat, and goes,
"I think this artwork has a lot to say. Did you see how the sun was made of chickens?"
I CAN'T EXPLAIN WHY THIS MADE ME LAUGH UNTIL I CRIED, BUT IT DID. OH DID IT EVER. Also, Jen said she's okay with photos of her posted in friendslock, but since I'm not locking this, we decided to replace her with someone who would actually think the sun was made of chickens: Giselle from Enchanted.
COULD NOT. STOP LAUGHING. I was crying, Jen fell onto the floor, and John and Pips were just staring at us and taking pictures.
ZOMG BITCHIN' PARTY. It is late, and I am tired, and while many other lovely things happened, these are the things I wrote about before I nearly passed out on my keyboard. \o/