wheel of morality, turn turn turn
A lot of shit has been shaking down recently, which I've posted about somewhat in various filters, but it's the end of the year and I'm currently sober, so I feel like I should list out some of the bigger themes of 2007 while I'm coherent and awake (vs drunk on a couch with L & C and ranting about how great the High School Musical movies are). (That post, btw: coming at you in t-minus 4 days. Be ready.)
2007:
- Subject lines from this year that still make me laugh, even though for some of them I can't remember wtf they're references to: Leyna had to take a knee; "Use the plate...I gave you the plate for a reason."; Heroin sells itself and I want some; who is that bad-ass gaywad?; The running of the bulls! Dog show!; The couch is definitely dating down.; "My earrings go perfectly with my shoes! Time to kill!"; a mulatto, an albino, turned out I was a vampire myself; just more information for the stalker twitter; puh-puh-puh-peanut farmer, President Car-ar-arter!; Whooooah, they're movin' again!!; I went to WinCon and all I got was this lousy love-tentacle.
- My best friend in the whole world (and probably THE best friend to anyone ever, and I have many many humiliating and shameful stories to back that statement up) moved to Boston -- which technically happened in 2006, but it took something like 3 months for that fact to really SINK IN. Also, this is the year we made this picture, which I kind of want etched on both our tombstones under the line, "She was awesome."
- This was the year I TRAGICALLY INJURED MYSELF MULTIPLE TIMES. And yes, that gets all-capsed because I'm trying to convey to you just how much it hurts to break your coccyx. DON'T DO THAT, IF YOU CAN HELP IT. My tail bone is healing up nicely, although I do still get kind of squirmy if I sit at the wrong angle, or if I sit still for a long period of time [coughatworkcough], but for the most part, my wretchedly bruised ass is back to normal. HOWEVER, my ankle that I sprained terribly while drunk at Leyna's birthday party back in fucking JULY is STILL not completely done healing, and all the wobbly navigating of ice and snow recently has resulting in it flaring up from time to time, and I still can't run on it or anything. My doctor was like, "yeah, you'd have been better off just breaking it, this is going to take at least six months," and wowie, was she not lying. Fortunately, sometimes I make a really pathetic face at El and make him give me ankle rubs, and that actually does help.
- I was briefly, hysterically, identity-thefted. WEIRD. But I'm mostly over the paranoia now, although I do shred EVERYTHING these days.
- God, for a good part of the year, I apparently still cared whether Exhibit A ever talked to me again. Yeesh, self, yeesh. (This is probably the most dramatic example of one of my less charming character traits: I hate not having the last word.)
- I began what I anticipate to be a years-long romance with The Agonizer (my iPhone). Oh Agonizer, I saw you across the internet, I longingly stared at your demos for hours, I saved and saved for you to bring you home to me, into my adoring hands, and I have never regretted that decision, not even when you got us totally lost in LA that time. If I had to choose between you and my DVR, I would cry a lot, but you would win.
- I successfully grew my hair out from being Pretty Fucking Short and Really Wrecked from Hair Color to being past my shoulders and way way way healthy. I STILL cannot get it all into a ponytail, though, a problem which I lay on the doorstep of my hair co-parent, Dan. It's really adorable and shiny, though, and I've had multiple people tell me it's pretty-looking, so I'm trying not to whine too much about the ponytail thing.
- I managed to date not one, but TWO completely crazy people at the same time. I'm generally not the most self-aware girl in the world, but Bunny and David could have been paid to not know themselves. As always, I have faith in karma and the universe that when you fuck something up, if you pay attention something else will come along to teach you about it. After being low-level worried at all times that every serious relationship I ever had would end the way Exhibit A and I ended (me looking up and realizing I just can't take it any more and want out immediately and as far away as possible emotionally, to hell with the consequences), it was (in a weeeeeird way) good to hammer out a lot of what I want via dealing with people who had no flipping clue what they wanted.
- And here's the result of that: I want to own property, be it a house or a condo or whatever, and renovate it to be totally perfect (or, y'know, MY definition of that). I want someone in my bed every morning to wake up next to, who helps me maintain our weird little life together and go on adventures with. ...And that's pretty much it, really. I don't want kids. I don't really care if I get married (although I love parties, and so by extension, weddings). I don't have a huge number of career goals, beyond "finish grad school" and "use masters degree to make more money, thus allowing me to buy more beauty products and travel/visit friends more often." I just want to um...do whatever I want to do, and find someone who's enough like me to be okay with that. I DIDN'T SAY IT WAS A REALISTIC LIST OF WANTS, JUST THAT I HAD A LIST. CRIPES.
- I finally embraced the fact that I'm an insane person re: organization and clutter. GOD IT FEELS SO GOOD. I was just lying awake last night thinking about how now that I have a printer that's also a scanner, I can scan all my pictures into Flickr and just throw out most of them. This is pretty much all I do in my downtime: figure out ways to get rid of stuff I own. (Meanwhile, I just bought all of 52 in trades. PRIORITIES.)
- The Indianapolis Colts won the Superbowl. Since I live in New England, people sometimes try and bait me into acting pissed about the Colts' performance this year, but it just doesn't work because THEY JUST WON THE MOTHERFUCKING SUPERBOWL. I don't care if the entire team disbands at this point, they did what the entire city has been dreaming (DISTANTLY dreaming) about for the entire time we've had the franchise, what people have talked about and hoped for and what local musicians have WRITTEN ANTHEMS ABOUT (no, really, "Lord, Help Our Colts" -- the verses change from time to time, but the chorus is allllllways the same, Q95 used to play it every week), so I really can't be fucked to care that one of the greatest teams in recent memory is going to beat the Colts this year and god willing, go on to win the Superbowl. Part of it is that since becoming a Boston Red Sox fan, I don't think I'll ever be able to hate a rival team the way I hate the Yankees. They're dicks, their owners are dicks, their fans can be spectacularly dickish, and also I'm pretty sure we took a vote a decided some key players have the HIV. Why do I give a fuck about talking smack against Patriots fans? The Patriots are a great team! Who cares?!
- Which I guess is my way of segueing into the fact that the Red Sox won the World Series. Again. AGAIN. !!! Some days, I wake up and I still can't believe I live in a world where we won. TWICE. That has to say something about the wonderfulness and inherent goodness of the universe. Kind of like that run of JLA a few years back with Earth-1 vs Earth-2. In the end, good triumphs and even Nancy Drew gets a grand slam and the world is golden and perfect, at least for a while.
- The MG moved FIVE THOUSAND TIMES. (Well, three.) She moved from the house to that crappy little apartment while her old job waited to approve her moving. Then she moved out to Rhode Island. Then she got her Awesome New Job and so had to move down to Washington, DC. She is so much happier now, she's retroactively really mad at her old employers for sucking so hard, but mostly she's just really loving DC and her new job and her new salary (she told me what she clears in a month, and I kind of wanted to hit her. I will never ever feel guilty about taking money from her Ever Again.) and her new apartment. I was down there for Xmas, and it actually feels way more like home than I expected it to, and it's a huge relief to have her be happy and not hating her job/life all the time. Also, she's still only 6 hours away by train (OMG AMTRAK, MARRY ME), which is a helluva lot closer than Indiana.
- Some wonderful person made the Rodney McKay Brand of Lemons, which STILL cracks me up, six months later.
- Harry Potter ended! And I still don't really have coherent thoughts on it. I keep saying I'm going to buy the British Adult Cover of book 7 and then re-read everything, but I obviously haven't gotten around to it yet. Maybe in 08. Mostly, I'm just focused on figuring out how to afford tickets to see Equus on Broadway. (Hey, HEY, if ANYONE is going to be That Girl, it's me. Would you expect anything less/else? 7/23/07 came and went, kids, he's totally threat-of-jail free!)
- I went batshit over some TV: Lost, Friday Night Lights and Farscape (best. show. ever.) are the ones that come to mind. I'm SO PUMPED FOR LOST TO COME BACK. But anyway -- I'm currently tearing through season 1 of The West Wing (gift from John since I, um, bought him the entire series box set and he didn't have room for his extra s.1 set anymore. IT WAS ON SALE. WHAT. YOU GO OUT AND MEET JFLAN FOR ME, THEN SEE WHAT KIND OF WACKY SHIT I BUY YOU). And yet, I still mostly just read fic about Stargate: Atlantis. Go figure.
- Going back and seeing all the places El sort of randomly pops up in my journal, it feels like it actually took us a really long time to get to the, "one of us likes the other one," place. (Update on that, fyi: He and I are now arguing about the degree to which he made a pass at me. He maintains it was entirely hypothetical and just making conversation, I maintain, "I think you're wonderful and I would totally date you," conveys intent. We've managed to debate this for three days using various sections of the chat transcript as proof for both sides. We're apparently now also throwing the word "love" around when we talk about each other. Sometimes when we've managed to crack ourselves up so hard neither of us can talk for laughing, I flash back to when Exhibit A and I were dating, and her worried, threatened voice saying, "Should I be worried about [El]?" And I can't remember what I said in return, but I have a hunch it might have been the word, "No," sixteen times in a row. Overkillllll.)
- So I guess the short version is I'm kind of in love with one of my very good friends, but it's not...a priority? I figure he'll either finish processing all his breakup shit and end up being the kind of person I want to date and so we'll do that, or he won't and so we'll just stay where we are now. Either way, he's the highlight of every goddamn day, so I call it a win. Seriously, I spend a lot of time thinking about how I never want my Angela Chase Memorial Award taken away from me, so I think things are going to be okay.
Final wrap-up!
-I stole this from imogenics last year, and I'm reposting it this year, because I still really like what it has to say:
Guest House
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all
even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture.
Still treat each guest honorably,
he may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
Jalal ad-Din Rumi
- And now! The year-end LJ Comments Stat Report:
Top Commenters on la_cspan's LiveJournal
(Self and anonymous comments excluded from rankings)
1jarrow272 354
2tipofaspoon 182
3til_shes_irish 151
4overloved 131
5jamesdbr 128
6muddyslush 126
7notpiecebypiece 124
8throughadoor 122
9smartlikejustin 103
10prettypinkkitty 96
_______________
Report generated 12/27/2007 12:19:31 PM by scrapdog's LJ Comment Stats Wizard 1.7
Dear jarrow272: We spend too much time on livejournal. That, or we're more awesome than everyone else. PROBABLY WE SHOULD GO WITH THAT ONE.
2007:
- Subject lines from this year that still make me laugh, even though for some of them I can't remember wtf they're references to: Leyna had to take a knee; "Use the plate...I gave you the plate for a reason."; Heroin sells itself and I want some; who is that bad-ass gaywad?; The running of the bulls! Dog show!; The couch is definitely dating down.; "My earrings go perfectly with my shoes! Time to kill!"; a mulatto, an albino, turned out I was a vampire myself; just more information for the stalker twitter; puh-puh-puh-peanut farmer, President Car-ar-arter!; Whooooah, they're movin' again!!; I went to WinCon and all I got was this lousy love-tentacle.
- My best friend in the whole world (and probably THE best friend to anyone ever, and I have many many humiliating and shameful stories to back that statement up) moved to Boston -- which technically happened in 2006, but it took something like 3 months for that fact to really SINK IN. Also, this is the year we made this picture, which I kind of want etched on both our tombstones under the line, "She was awesome."
- This was the year I TRAGICALLY INJURED MYSELF MULTIPLE TIMES. And yes, that gets all-capsed because I'm trying to convey to you just how much it hurts to break your coccyx. DON'T DO THAT, IF YOU CAN HELP IT. My tail bone is healing up nicely, although I do still get kind of squirmy if I sit at the wrong angle, or if I sit still for a long period of time [coughatworkcough], but for the most part, my wretchedly bruised ass is back to normal. HOWEVER, my ankle that I sprained terribly while drunk at Leyna's birthday party back in fucking JULY is STILL not completely done healing, and all the wobbly navigating of ice and snow recently has resulting in it flaring up from time to time, and I still can't run on it or anything. My doctor was like, "yeah, you'd have been better off just breaking it, this is going to take at least six months," and wowie, was she not lying. Fortunately, sometimes I make a really pathetic face at El and make him give me ankle rubs, and that actually does help.
- I was briefly, hysterically, identity-thefted. WEIRD. But I'm mostly over the paranoia now, although I do shred EVERYTHING these days.
- God, for a good part of the year, I apparently still cared whether Exhibit A ever talked to me again. Yeesh, self, yeesh. (This is probably the most dramatic example of one of my less charming character traits: I hate not having the last word.)
- I began what I anticipate to be a years-long romance with The Agonizer (my iPhone). Oh Agonizer, I saw you across the internet, I longingly stared at your demos for hours, I saved and saved for you to bring you home to me, into my adoring hands, and I have never regretted that decision, not even when you got us totally lost in LA that time. If I had to choose between you and my DVR, I would cry a lot, but you would win.
- I successfully grew my hair out from being Pretty Fucking Short and Really Wrecked from Hair Color to being past my shoulders and way way way healthy. I STILL cannot get it all into a ponytail, though, a problem which I lay on the doorstep of my hair co-parent, Dan. It's really adorable and shiny, though, and I've had multiple people tell me it's pretty-looking, so I'm trying not to whine too much about the ponytail thing.
- I managed to date not one, but TWO completely crazy people at the same time. I'm generally not the most self-aware girl in the world, but Bunny and David could have been paid to not know themselves. As always, I have faith in karma and the universe that when you fuck something up, if you pay attention something else will come along to teach you about it. After being low-level worried at all times that every serious relationship I ever had would end the way Exhibit A and I ended (me looking up and realizing I just can't take it any more and want out immediately and as far away as possible emotionally, to hell with the consequences), it was (in a weeeeeird way) good to hammer out a lot of what I want via dealing with people who had no flipping clue what they wanted.
- And here's the result of that: I want to own property, be it a house or a condo or whatever, and renovate it to be totally perfect (or, y'know, MY definition of that). I want someone in my bed every morning to wake up next to, who helps me maintain our weird little life together and go on adventures with. ...And that's pretty much it, really. I don't want kids. I don't really care if I get married (although I love parties, and so by extension, weddings). I don't have a huge number of career goals, beyond "finish grad school" and "use masters degree to make more money, thus allowing me to buy more beauty products and travel/visit friends more often." I just want to um...do whatever I want to do, and find someone who's enough like me to be okay with that. I DIDN'T SAY IT WAS A REALISTIC LIST OF WANTS, JUST THAT I HAD A LIST. CRIPES.
- I finally embraced the fact that I'm an insane person re: organization and clutter. GOD IT FEELS SO GOOD. I was just lying awake last night thinking about how now that I have a printer that's also a scanner, I can scan all my pictures into Flickr and just throw out most of them. This is pretty much all I do in my downtime: figure out ways to get rid of stuff I own. (Meanwhile, I just bought all of 52 in trades. PRIORITIES.)
- The Indianapolis Colts won the Superbowl. Since I live in New England, people sometimes try and bait me into acting pissed about the Colts' performance this year, but it just doesn't work because THEY JUST WON THE MOTHERFUCKING SUPERBOWL. I don't care if the entire team disbands at this point, they did what the entire city has been dreaming (DISTANTLY dreaming) about for the entire time we've had the franchise, what people have talked about and hoped for and what local musicians have WRITTEN ANTHEMS ABOUT (no, really, "Lord, Help Our Colts" -- the verses change from time to time, but the chorus is allllllways the same, Q95 used to play it every week), so I really can't be fucked to care that one of the greatest teams in recent memory is going to beat the Colts this year and god willing, go on to win the Superbowl. Part of it is that since becoming a Boston Red Sox fan, I don't think I'll ever be able to hate a rival team the way I hate the Yankees. They're dicks, their owners are dicks, their fans can be spectacularly dickish, and also I'm pretty sure we took a vote a decided some key players have the HIV. Why do I give a fuck about talking smack against Patriots fans? The Patriots are a great team! Who cares?!
- Which I guess is my way of segueing into the fact that the Red Sox won the World Series. Again. AGAIN. !!! Some days, I wake up and I still can't believe I live in a world where we won. TWICE. That has to say something about the wonderfulness and inherent goodness of the universe. Kind of like that run of JLA a few years back with Earth-1 vs Earth-2. In the end, good triumphs and even Nancy Drew gets a grand slam and the world is golden and perfect, at least for a while.
- The MG moved FIVE THOUSAND TIMES. (Well, three.) She moved from the house to that crappy little apartment while her old job waited to approve her moving. Then she moved out to Rhode Island. Then she got her Awesome New Job and so had to move down to Washington, DC. She is so much happier now, she's retroactively really mad at her old employers for sucking so hard, but mostly she's just really loving DC and her new job and her new salary (she told me what she clears in a month, and I kind of wanted to hit her. I will never ever feel guilty about taking money from her Ever Again.) and her new apartment. I was down there for Xmas, and it actually feels way more like home than I expected it to, and it's a huge relief to have her be happy and not hating her job/life all the time. Also, she's still only 6 hours away by train (OMG AMTRAK, MARRY ME), which is a helluva lot closer than Indiana.
- Some wonderful person made the Rodney McKay Brand of Lemons, which STILL cracks me up, six months later.
- Harry Potter ended! And I still don't really have coherent thoughts on it. I keep saying I'm going to buy the British Adult Cover of book 7 and then re-read everything, but I obviously haven't gotten around to it yet. Maybe in 08. Mostly, I'm just focused on figuring out how to afford tickets to see Equus on Broadway. (Hey, HEY, if ANYONE is going to be That Girl, it's me. Would you expect anything less/else? 7/23/07 came and went, kids, he's totally threat-of-jail free!)
- I went batshit over some TV: Lost, Friday Night Lights and Farscape (best. show. ever.) are the ones that come to mind. I'm SO PUMPED FOR LOST TO COME BACK. But anyway -- I'm currently tearing through season 1 of The West Wing (gift from John since I, um, bought him the entire series box set and he didn't have room for his extra s.1 set anymore. IT WAS ON SALE. WHAT. YOU GO OUT AND MEET JFLAN FOR ME, THEN SEE WHAT KIND OF WACKY SHIT I BUY YOU). And yet, I still mostly just read fic about Stargate: Atlantis. Go figure.
- Going back and seeing all the places El sort of randomly pops up in my journal, it feels like it actually took us a really long time to get to the, "one of us likes the other one," place. (Update on that, fyi: He and I are now arguing about the degree to which he made a pass at me. He maintains it was entirely hypothetical and just making conversation, I maintain, "I think you're wonderful and I would totally date you," conveys intent. We've managed to debate this for three days using various sections of the chat transcript as proof for both sides. We're apparently now also throwing the word "love" around when we talk about each other. Sometimes when we've managed to crack ourselves up so hard neither of us can talk for laughing, I flash back to when Exhibit A and I were dating, and her worried, threatened voice saying, "Should I be worried about [El]?" And I can't remember what I said in return, but I have a hunch it might have been the word, "No," sixteen times in a row. Overkillllll.)
- So I guess the short version is I'm kind of in love with one of my very good friends, but it's not...a priority? I figure he'll either finish processing all his breakup shit and end up being the kind of person I want to date and so we'll do that, or he won't and so we'll just stay where we are now. Either way, he's the highlight of every goddamn day, so I call it a win. Seriously, I spend a lot of time thinking about how I never want my Angela Chase Memorial Award taken away from me, so I think things are going to be okay.
Final wrap-up!
-I stole this from imogenics last year, and I'm reposting it this year, because I still really like what it has to say:
Guest House
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all
even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture.
Still treat each guest honorably,
he may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
Jalal ad-Din Rumi
- And now! The year-end LJ Comments Stat Report:
Top Commenters on la_cspan's LiveJournal
(Self and anonymous comments excluded from rankings)
1jarrow272 354
2tipofaspoon 182
3til_shes_irish 151
4overloved 131
5jamesdbr 128
6muddyslush 126
7notpiecebypiece 124
8throughadoor 122
9smartlikejustin 103
10prettypinkkitty 96
_______________
Report generated 12/27/2007 12:19:31 PM by scrapdog's LJ Comment Stats Wizard 1.7
Dear jarrow272: We spend too much time on livejournal. That, or we're more awesome than everyone else. PROBABLY WE SHOULD GO WITH THAT ONE.