crazy little thoughts

Aug 15, 2001 00:14

these wierdish days come sometimes, yes they're coming back! when sometimes i feel that the day is draggy and other days the day is pure excitement. well yesterday was pure excitement. well we meaning stan, mike and me got to see american pie 2. cool movie but i got to see it again. ugh ! its the same with all the movies i watch, never get it from the first time.well, i came home at 11:40 pm. i felt really bad because i know that my grandparents were worried. i was on the train from10-11:15. thats not exactly the perfect time for exploring the nyc subway system. for once in the past 8 months i prayed to god. i asked if i could get home safely. i was so freaked yesterday!a lesson was learned, to never do that again. i feel really proud of myself also. i havent lied to my grandparents about what happened either. yeah i know i lost all the possible respect from my grandma but i know my grandpa still believes in me. i heard some awful things from her. she told me some shit like how gina(my causin) is always smarter than me, she reads a lot more "inteligent" bookd then i do, abd all that other bulcrap how shes perfect and im not. man who cares what she thinks, its too late for me to be proving aythign to her anymore. today though when me and kira went to seaport i did buy this one 800 page charles dickens book, and yeah i started reading it.its not too great yet but ill keep on readin. i know that im not dumb because in my past i showed my family and myself that i can get good grades. but once i got to lehman high school my average dropped from a 94 to a 72. i still dont know how i could have let myself get that. i know its a party school and everything but i should have controlled myself. at the end my average was an 83.5, all because of y music clas. i showed up to that fagets' class everyday, in my first peiod and i studied for his tests more than i did for others, but he still gave me a 65.i would have had like an 88 or somthing if not for him. oh well! next year ill probably be off at laguardia or kiras school, just not lehman.

yey its wednesday!!!!!!!!!
im of to florida on friday!well its not exactly wednesday but 12:03A.M. of wednesday.

oh yeah another thing.
as some know my self esteem is not very low but isnt very highg either. and today kira really pissed me off when she comented on high all the guys like me and not her. guys like who stan and ruslan. then she was the only one who said that. kelly constantly said it too. i know kelly and kira will read this, so what im trying to tell you is that please stop doing that because you are making me feel very wierd. like as if i should go to the store and buy myslef 2 buckets of ice cream and 3 triple whoppers or somwthing. stop it damn it! kelly please dont get mad and kira either. just try to understand that my hair is brighter than urs and that kinda stands out in the crowd.i personally think that both kelly and kira are wayyy prettier than me, and pretty much evey other girl that i know also, so just stop saying that u r worse then me, that kinda makes me feel even crappier myself. i now if kira reads this shell just think oh wierdo, and kelly will get mad at me. JUST DONT! ok well im done on this subject.

p.s. once again im not at the computer at my house.im at kiras. im crashing here for the night. right now shes reading one of her retarted romance novels, and complaining how she read 23 pages while i was writing my bullshit. hey kira atleast i was bugging u about it.

oh yeah mike thanx for introducing the world of techno for me, im starting to really get the whole techno zombie freak groove on.
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