Seconds to break (Chapter 4)
Ohno stared at the boy who was still asleep in the basket as if he was a bomb about to go off. He really didn’t want him to cry, he always hated crying children, and even if he joked around that he wouldn’t mind with his own child, he wasn’t too sure about it. He rubbed his face as he at least made sure that the boy was breathing and that the blanket was not over his face to make sure that nothing would happen to him.
Ohno stared at the peaceful face, trying to remember that woman he had slept with all that time ago. It was a diffuse memory, and there was no way that the small young face helped him to do so. He was cute though, he supposed and looked healthy so far.
He grimaced as he took the phone in his hand. This call he was really not looking forward to, but he was sure that his mother would have his head if he hadn’t called the agency before she came back.
Ohno listened to the noises from his phone until the click told him that his manager answered it.
“Ohno-san, can I do something for you?” Takahashi asked, and Ohno sighed softly.
“Takahashi-san. There is a situation, and I’m very sorry for all the trouble I am going to cause right now,” he said carefully biting his lips softly.
“What is it about?”
And Ohno really wished he was back to his young self who would just turn off his phone, hide away and never appear again until this was all over. But this would only be over in around eighteen years, and there was no way that he would be able to do that or even wanted to do that. Getting his life together again would mean that he could fight for Nino, and that was the most important thing right now.
Still, it was hard to find the right words to not shock the other too much, but there was no soft way to bring it to Takahashi’s attention, he supposed.
“This morning I woke to a baby on my doorstep. There was also a letter going with it, saying it’s mine. The signature was from someone I slept with almost two years ago. It would fit the age the baby seems to be,” he said. “I don’t know exactly what to do now without causing trouble to the agency and Arashi.”
There was silence on the other end for a long time, and Ohno was sure that something had broken into the other. He remembered their contracts, of course. It could bring them many problems, and a few years prior Ohno would have been very scared about this all when Arashi had poorly done the agency would have probably quickly disbanded them. Now, he wasn’t so sure. He had no idea what would happen soon, but he hoped that the others were safe.
“Are you sure?”
“That I slept with her? No, I, honestly it was a bad time, and I was drunk and everything but…”
“But it’s not impossible, I see, Ohno-san. That will be troublesome. Let me handle this and expect me in two hours the latest. You are not allowed to leave the house.”
“I’m at my mother’s place,” he said, feeling inadequate as he thought about the other paling at the thought of him being out with a baby. But he had a sister and cousins, and he had been sure to wear a real disguise. This time he had really made sure to not be recognised easily outside.
“Okay, stay there, for now, I’ll be there soon.”
“Yes, thank you, Takahashi-san. And I’m really sorry.”
“We will figure this out.”
-
Ohno didn’t know how long he stared at the basket with the baby boy inside, but he only looked up when the front door opened again. He scrunched up his nose when the boy woke up and whined lowly.
“Mum!” he cried out when the woman appeared at the doorway. The woman sighed as she rolled her eyes at his begging eyes and helpless look.
She shook her head as she went over and picked the wailing boy up to rock him in his arms. “Let’s get you fed and changed, ne?” she asked the boy who sniffled as he pressed his arms against her and at the same time his face against her shoulder to get warmth while being uncomfortable because of all the strangers around him.
Ohno followed his mother to the kitchen, as she gestured to the bag she had brought. “There is a bottle inside and the formula. You should prepare the milk,” she said softly as she sat down with the boy who had calmed down a little.
Ohno nodded as he read the package carefully and followed the instructions. He still was overwhelmed, but he understood that the well-being of such a little boy was more important than his comfort.
“Do you know what you want to do?”
Ohno hummed softly as he sighed. “I called the agency. Takahashi will come and help me to deal with this all.”
“He will probably come with the social workers and maybe the police to check how they could track you and what will happen with him.”
Ohno hummed lowly in the back of his throat as he brought the bottle over.
“Check for the temperature on the inside of your wrist. It should feel comfortable there.”
Ohno nodded as he did and decided it was not too hot. “It should be fine.”
“Good, now hold him,” the woman said as she took the bottle from him and placed the boy comfortable in his arms. It felt still unnatural for him to have the baby in his arms, and he was scared to do something wrong. If possible, he never held his sister’s babies or the Nino’s nephew.
He pushed the bottle softly against the lips of the baby until he latched on and drank hungrily from the bottle. Ohno giggled softly as the small fingers grabbed the bottle tightly, and a concentrated look was on his face.
“You look like Nino when he tries out new food,” he mumbled. Nino looked similar cautious and critical if he didn’t know it yet.
“Satoshi, I know I was very strict when I left, but you got me in a tight spot,” the woman said as she started to clean out the bag with the few baby supplies she bought earlier.
Ohno stared at the little face as she shrugged. “I can understand. I wasn’t any different when it happened. At least you didn’t throw me out.”
“I can understand Nino, though,” she hummed.
Ohno nodded as he grimaced. He could too, somehow. But it still hurt how easily Nino had seemed to be able to demand him to vanish from his life right away.
“Satoshi, did you think about what you want to do?”
Ohno shook his head as he stared at the boy in his arms. “I’m sure the agency has some ideas. I can’t bring Arashi into danger.”
The woman sighed deeply as she sat down across from him. “I’m sure you have the right to take part in any decision.”
“He might not be mine,” he mumbled.
“What if he is?”
“I want to do a test, if possible. And if he is… You are right, you know? He is not at fault. He is the victim here who hasn’t been asked for this mess,” he said slowly, thinking carefully at each word he muttered. His mother observed him as he moved the bottle back and put the boy against his shoulder to rub his back. Just as he had seen Nino do the very few times he had been with his nephew.
He winced when there was something wet against his neck, making his mother giggle. “You should make sure to have a cloth over your shoulder if you do that,” she explained as she got up again, a cloth in her hands that she moved over his neck and the chin of the baby boy.
“I will remember that,” he groaned. “He smells,” he said with a scrunched up nose. His mother laughed as she put a mat on the table and then picked up the boy to change his diapers while explaining to Ohno what to do for the next time.
“I think… If possible, if the agency is okay with it and he is really really mine, that I would like to try to raise him,” he breathed in the end. “To be a good father to him.”
“I’m sure you would be if you try and can love him,” she whispered as she kissed the top of his head. Ohno smiled shyly as he picked the boy up and bounced him on his lap as he babbled softly under his breath.
“He is cute right?”
“He sure is, if he is not crying,” she teased, keeping back at how much she thought he looked like her son as a baby. “Does he has a name?”
Ohno shook his head before he shrugged carefully as he stared at the boy in wonder. “There wasn’t anything written in the letter or anywhere else,” he mumbled. “There were no official documents either, about where he was born, how his health status is,” he murmured.
“Tell the people who will come. And also tell them that you want to keep him, okay? Just be honest.”
“Won’t you stay?”
“If they allow me, Satoshi. But it might be better if I’m not in the same room with you then, same for the boy.”
Ohno nodded as he bit his lower lip. At least if the discussion got heated, it wouldn’t be suitable for a baby to be in the same room, probably. At least he thought so. He already hated discussion and bad mood, he didn’t believe that a small baby would feel any better.
“Aka-chan,” Ohno said as he tickled the boy’s stomach, grinning when a shrieking laugh erupted from him. He just hoped that his decision wouldn’t mean that his relationship with Nino was impossible. But Nino was a good man, better than anybody else Ohno knew (maybe second to his mother only).
-
“Takahashi-san, nice to see you,” Ohno’s mother said as she opened the door to the man, who smiled softly as he bowed low and took off his shoes and slipping into the slippers the woman had prepared for the unexpected guests.
“I would’ve preferred if it wasn’t under these circumstances.”
“I’m sure we all feel similar. But it has happened, and we deal with it now.”
“Indeed, Ohno-san,” he said with a small grin. “Not the first or worst thing that had happened to any of our idols,” he said as he stepped into the room.
She nodded as she offered a smile. “Do you prefer coffee or tea?”
“Coffee would be good,” he said with a tired smile as she led him to the living room. “Satoshi-kun,” he said with a smile as he saw the man. Ohno had the same stubborn look on his face that he had when he was young and had his heart set to something he thought they wouldn’t agree with. He looked much like the young boy that had told them what he wanted and then shut off his phone for a few weeks until he was sure they accepted it.
“Thanks for coming, Takahashi-san,” he whispered. There was insecureness in his eyes even if he at the same time was sure what he wanted to achieve.
“Of course. Let’s sit down and talk first. I made sure to have some time just the two of us before social workers come in and help us deal with it. Explain again what happened.”
Ohno nodded as he closed his eyes and told him about the morning at Nino’s place where he had stayed at ever since Nino, and he got together. The other man was silent as he listened to his tale, thanking Ohno’s mother for the coffee in between and then even checking up on the baby boy in his cot. It was hard to believe, but with all facts, there was no denying it anymore.
“The higher-ups are not happy, to say the least. But we can’t afford to lose you right now. You are slowly climbing up to the top with the stadium concert lined up and your tenth anniversary that’s already planned. So they will take your decision into consideration. I hope you’ve thought about what you want?”
“It would be easiest if I gave him up, right?” Ohno asked with a small cough, his throat feeling parched suddenly as he was reminded about all the work liked up right now.
“Not necessarily. In a way, yes if we can put a cover on everything. But we don’t know if you are watched by the woman and if she wouldn’t go to press if you decide to give the boy up to adoption.”
Ohno nodded in understanding as he sighed. “I want to do a test.”
“Of course, I actually got the kit already, and we can take your samples right away. I will bring it to the lab myself and then it will take up to three days until we have the results. It will cost you money to make it as fast as possible, though.”
“Money is not the issue right now. I would feel more at peace if I know as soon as possible if he is mine or not.”
“And then what?”
“If he is mine, I want to take care of him.” Ohno’s voice wavered just slightly because of his nervousness, but his eyes were serious and showed how much he would fight for it.
“I see. You will have to keep silent about this, though. At least until he is old enough for daycare or even school, you would need to hide, having a child. The agency wouldn’t allow you a scandal right now.”
Ohno gulped slightly at those words, but then he nodded. That was fine with him. He honestly preferred it this way ever since he was a very private person and he wanted to protect his family. His parents just as much as this little baby.
“Okay,” the man clapped his hands as he stood and brought out the kit. Ohno took one of the swipes to wipe at his cheek and then teased the little boy about doing the same with him. He grinned as the boy grumbled when he realised it was no food that was in his mouth right now.
“Aka-chan, hungry again?” he cooed as he picked him up to sway him in his arms and start to prepare another bottle to feed him. He was still scared to let him fall, but it was a little bit easier now.
The talk with the social workers was awkward, but in the end, they agreed to let the small boy stay with him until the results were out, saying that it would be better than having him change parental figures so often in a handful of days if he was his own blood.
Ohno thanked his manager again as the man finally left his family home to go to the lab even if it was already late.
His mother smiled at him when he shuffled inside the living room again to check on the boy he had decided to call Aka-chan for now because the boy or baby seemed strange. “I cleaned your room for you to stay in. You should make space for him.”
“Aka-chan and I will room together, right?” he asked the boy as he nodded thankfully. “What about dad?”
“I’ll handle your father. But he will be fine with it. You should try to rest a bit. The day was stressful.”
Ohno nodded as he picked up the basket to carry him over to his own room to make space for him and lie down at his bed. He took out his phone, staring at the dark screen. He wished it would lighten up with a call from Nino, but even as he turned on his phone, there were no missed calls or messages waiting for him. He stared at the screen saver that was a picture of an asleep Nino. He sighed as he rolled onto his side, looking at the sleeping Aka-chan, as his tears ran over his cheeks. “I won’t give him up, Aka-chan. Not even for you, sorry,” he whispered into the silence as he closed his eyes exhausted.
Ohno stared at the peaceful face, trying to remember that woman he had slept with all that time ago. It was a diffuse memory, and there was no way that the small young face helped him to do so. He was cute though, he supposed and looked healthy so far.
He grimaced as he took the phone in his hand. This call he was really not looking forward to, but he was sure that his mother would have his head if he hadn’t called the agency before she came back.
Ohno listened to the noises from his phone until the click told him that his manager answered it.
“Ohno-san, can I do something for you?” Takahashi asked, and Ohno sighed softly.
“Takahashi-san. There is a situation, and I’m very sorry for all the trouble I am going to cause right now,” he said carefully biting his lips softly.
“What is it about?”
And Ohno really wished he was back to his young self who would just turn off his phone, hide away and never appear again until this was all over. But this would only be over in around eighteen years, and there was no way that he would be able to do that or even wanted to do that. Getting his life together again would mean that he could fight for Nino, and that was the most important thing right now.
Still, it was hard to find the right words to not shock the other too much, but there was no soft way to bring it to Takahashi’s attention, he supposed.
“This morning I woke to a baby on my doorstep. There was also a letter going with it, saying it’s mine. The signature was from someone I slept with almost two years ago. It would fit the age the baby seems to be,” he said. “I don’t know exactly what to do now without causing trouble to the agency and Arashi.”
There was silence on the other end for a long time, and Ohno was sure that something had broken into the other. He remembered their contracts, of course. It could bring them many problems, and a few years prior Ohno would have been very scared about this all when Arashi had poorly done the agency would have probably quickly disbanded them. Now, he wasn’t so sure. He had no idea what would happen soon, but he hoped that the others were safe.
“Are you sure?”
“That I slept with her? No, I, honestly it was a bad time, and I was drunk and everything but…”
“But it’s not impossible, I see, Ohno-san. That will be troublesome. Let me handle this and expect me in two hours the latest. You are not allowed to leave the house.”
“I’m at my mother’s place,” he said, feeling inadequate as he thought about the other paling at the thought of him being out with a baby. But he had a sister and cousins, and he had been sure to wear a real disguise. This time he had really made sure to not be recognised easily outside.
“Okay, stay there, for now, I’ll be there soon.”
“Yes, thank you, Takahashi-san. And I’m really sorry.”
“We will figure this out.”
-
Ohno didn’t know how long he stared at the basket with the baby boy inside, but he only looked up when the front door opened again. He scrunched up his nose when the boy woke up and whined lowly.
“Mum!” he cried out when the woman appeared at the doorway. The woman sighed as she rolled her eyes at his begging eyes and helpless look.
She shook her head as she went over and picked the wailing boy up to rock him in his arms. “Let’s get you fed and changed, ne?” she asked the boy who sniffled as he pressed his arms against her and at the same time his face against her shoulder to get warmth while being uncomfortable because of all the strangers around him.
Ohno followed his mother to the kitchen, as she gestured to the bag she had brought. “There is a bottle inside and the formula. You should prepare the milk,” she said softly as she sat down with the boy who had calmed down a little.
Ohno nodded as he read the package carefully and followed the instructions. He still was overwhelmed, but he understood that the well-being of such a little boy was more important than his comfort.
“Do you know what you want to do?”
Ohno hummed softly as he sighed. “I called the agency. Takahashi will come and help me to deal with this all.”
“He will probably come with the social workers and maybe the police to check how they could track you and what will happen with him.”
Ohno hummed lowly in the back of his throat as he brought the bottle over.
“Check for the temperature on the inside of your wrist. It should feel comfortable there.”
Ohno nodded as he did and decided it was not too hot. “It should be fine.”
“Good, now hold him,” the woman said as she took the bottle from him and placed the boy comfortable in his arms. It felt still unnatural for him to have the baby in his arms, and he was scared to do something wrong. If possible, he never held his sister’s babies or the Nino’s nephew.
He pushed the bottle softly against the lips of the baby until he latched on and drank hungrily from the bottle. Ohno giggled softly as the small fingers grabbed the bottle tightly, and a concentrated look was on his face.
“You look like Nino when he tries out new food,” he mumbled. Nino looked similar cautious and critical if he didn’t know it yet.
“Satoshi, I know I was very strict when I left, but you got me in a tight spot,” the woman said as she started to clean out the bag with the few baby supplies she bought earlier.
Ohno stared at the little face as she shrugged. “I can understand. I wasn’t any different when it happened. At least you didn’t throw me out.”
“I can understand Nino, though,” she hummed.
Ohno nodded as he grimaced. He could too, somehow. But it still hurt how easily Nino had seemed to be able to demand him to vanish from his life right away.
“Satoshi, did you think about what you want to do?”
Ohno shook his head as he stared at the boy in his arms. “I’m sure the agency has some ideas. I can’t bring Arashi into danger.”
The woman sighed deeply as she sat down across from him. “I’m sure you have the right to take part in any decision.”
“He might not be mine,” he mumbled.
“What if he is?”
“I want to do a test, if possible. And if he is… You are right, you know? He is not at fault. He is the victim here who hasn’t been asked for this mess,” he said slowly, thinking carefully at each word he muttered. His mother observed him as he moved the bottle back and put the boy against his shoulder to rub his back. Just as he had seen Nino do the very few times he had been with his nephew.
He winced when there was something wet against his neck, making his mother giggle. “You should make sure to have a cloth over your shoulder if you do that,” she explained as she got up again, a cloth in her hands that she moved over his neck and the chin of the baby boy.
“I will remember that,” he groaned. “He smells,” he said with a scrunched up nose. His mother laughed as she put a mat on the table and then picked up the boy to change his diapers while explaining to Ohno what to do for the next time.
“I think… If possible, if the agency is okay with it and he is really really mine, that I would like to try to raise him,” he breathed in the end. “To be a good father to him.”
“I’m sure you would be if you try and can love him,” she whispered as she kissed the top of his head. Ohno smiled shyly as he picked the boy up and bounced him on his lap as he babbled softly under his breath.
“He is cute right?”
“He sure is, if he is not crying,” she teased, keeping back at how much she thought he looked like her son as a baby. “Does he has a name?”
Ohno shook his head before he shrugged carefully as he stared at the boy in wonder. “There wasn’t anything written in the letter or anywhere else,” he mumbled. “There were no official documents either, about where he was born, how his health status is,” he murmured.
“Tell the people who will come. And also tell them that you want to keep him, okay? Just be honest.”
“Won’t you stay?”
“If they allow me, Satoshi. But it might be better if I’m not in the same room with you then, same for the boy.”
Ohno nodded as he bit his lower lip. At least if the discussion got heated, it wouldn’t be suitable for a baby to be in the same room, probably. At least he thought so. He already hated discussion and bad mood, he didn’t believe that a small baby would feel any better.
“Aka-chan,” Ohno said as he tickled the boy’s stomach, grinning when a shrieking laugh erupted from him. He just hoped that his decision wouldn’t mean that his relationship with Nino was impossible. But Nino was a good man, better than anybody else Ohno knew (maybe second to his mother only).
-
“Takahashi-san, nice to see you,” Ohno’s mother said as she opened the door to the man, who smiled softly as he bowed low and took off his shoes and slipping into the slippers the woman had prepared for the unexpected guests.
“I would’ve preferred if it wasn’t under these circumstances.”
“I’m sure we all feel similar. But it has happened, and we deal with it now.”
“Indeed, Ohno-san,” he said with a small grin. “Not the first or worst thing that had happened to any of our idols,” he said as he stepped into the room.
She nodded as she offered a smile. “Do you prefer coffee or tea?”
“Coffee would be good,” he said with a tired smile as she led him to the living room. “Satoshi-kun,” he said with a smile as he saw the man. Ohno had the same stubborn look on his face that he had when he was young and had his heart set to something he thought they wouldn’t agree with. He looked much like the young boy that had told them what he wanted and then shut off his phone for a few weeks until he was sure they accepted it.
“Thanks for coming, Takahashi-san,” he whispered. There was insecureness in his eyes even if he at the same time was sure what he wanted to achieve.
“Of course. Let’s sit down and talk first. I made sure to have some time just the two of us before social workers come in and help us deal with it. Explain again what happened.”
Ohno nodded as he closed his eyes and told him about the morning at Nino’s place where he had stayed at ever since Nino, and he got together. The other man was silent as he listened to his tale, thanking Ohno’s mother for the coffee in between and then even checking up on the baby boy in his cot. It was hard to believe, but with all facts, there was no denying it anymore.
“The higher-ups are not happy, to say the least. But we can’t afford to lose you right now. You are slowly climbing up to the top with the stadium concert lined up and your tenth anniversary that’s already planned. So they will take your decision into consideration. I hope you’ve thought about what you want?”
“It would be easiest if I gave him up, right?” Ohno asked with a small cough, his throat feeling parched suddenly as he was reminded about all the work liked up right now.
“Not necessarily. In a way, yes if we can put a cover on everything. But we don’t know if you are watched by the woman and if she wouldn’t go to press if you decide to give the boy up to adoption.”
Ohno nodded in understanding as he sighed. “I want to do a test.”
“Of course, I actually got the kit already, and we can take your samples right away. I will bring it to the lab myself and then it will take up to three days until we have the results. It will cost you money to make it as fast as possible, though.”
“Money is not the issue right now. I would feel more at peace if I know as soon as possible if he is mine or not.”
“And then what?”
“If he is mine, I want to take care of him.” Ohno’s voice wavered just slightly because of his nervousness, but his eyes were serious and showed how much he would fight for it.
“I see. You will have to keep silent about this, though. At least until he is old enough for daycare or even school, you would need to hide, having a child. The agency wouldn’t allow you a scandal right now.”
Ohno gulped slightly at those words, but then he nodded. That was fine with him. He honestly preferred it this way ever since he was a very private person and he wanted to protect his family. His parents just as much as this little baby.
“Okay,” the man clapped his hands as he stood and brought out the kit. Ohno took one of the swipes to wipe at his cheek and then teased the little boy about doing the same with him. He grinned as the boy grumbled when he realised it was no food that was in his mouth right now.
“Aka-chan, hungry again?” he cooed as he picked him up to sway him in his arms and start to prepare another bottle to feed him. He was still scared to let him fall, but it was a little bit easier now.
The talk with the social workers was awkward, but in the end, they agreed to let the small boy stay with him until the results were out, saying that it would be better than having him change parental figures so often in a handful of days if he was his own blood.
Ohno thanked his manager again as the man finally left his family home to go to the lab even if it was already late.
His mother smiled at him when he shuffled inside the living room again to check on the boy he had decided to call Aka-chan for now because the boy or baby seemed strange. “I cleaned your room for you to stay in. You should make space for him.”
“Aka-chan and I will room together, right?” he asked the boy as he nodded thankfully. “What about dad?”
“I’ll handle your father. But he will be fine with it. You should try to rest a bit. The day was stressful.”
Ohno nodded as he picked up the basket to carry him over to his own room to make space for him and lie down at his bed. He took out his phone, staring at the dark screen. He wished it would lighten up with a call from Nino, but even as he turned on his phone, there were no missed calls or messages waiting for him. He stared at the screen saver that was a picture of an asleep Nino. He sighed as he rolled onto his side, looking at the sleeping Aka-chan, as his tears ran over his cheeks. “I won’t give him up, Aka-chan. Not even for you, sorry,” he whispered into the silence as he closed his eyes exhausted.