Nagase's family stories (Part 22)
Satoshi held to Nagase’s hand as they entered the festival grounds. There were a lot of people and he was a little bit nervous about getting lost in between all that. It was loud and there were lots of smell surrounding them.
Samantha held to Kazu beside them with the smaller boy skipping along with the adults, looking around with bright eyes. He liked all the colourful lights and sometimes he stood with wide eyes watching the people rushing by in their summer kimonos.
He liked how they looked as they were all colourful or with nice pictures on it (at least for the girls. The ones for the men, Kazu thought were a bit boring in their dark colours.)
“Satoshi everything okay?” Nagase asked, looking at him with a worried look on his face. Satoshi shrugged slightly, feeling uncomfortable. It was strange walking here, knowing that his father had once lived here. It had even been stranger as they had found out about the orphanage.
Nagase frowned as he saw his face and looked around to see where to bring them that they could talk. He finally found some old fashioned game stalls and brought them to Kazu’s attention.
“Do you want to play one?” he asked Kazu who nodded and dragged Samantha with him to one of the stalls he thought he could win.
Nagase smiled before sitting down with Satoshi at a bench close by. “What is going on in your mind?”
“I don’t know, dad,” he said softly as he looked at the floor. “I feel strange.”
Nagase frowned slightly before pulling him over. “Should I guess why?”
Satoshi nodded as he didn’t know what to say. “Yes, please. If you do it mostly makes sense again in my head.”
“You enjoyed the holiday and almost forgot that your parents are from here.”
Satoshi nodded. That was true. He had felt nothing about being here other than having fun during his vacation. He had feared that he would miss his mother more here but that hadn’t happened at all. Same with Kazu somehow.
“But today was different because we came here and I told you how it is to grow up here. Of course, that changes the feeling a little bit. It seems not just like a holiday, huh?”
Satoshi nodded again as he held tightly to Nagase’s hand. “I might’ve grown up here and not met you.”
“Yes, and I might’ve stayed here and not be in Germany when you needed me,” Nagase agreed.
“But Satoshi, that didn’t happen. I came to Germany, your parents did and I was there when you needed me. Same with Kazu and now we are here for holidays. Not to live here.”
“What if it all never would have happened if my parents stayed here?” Satoshi asked. “My mum could still be alive. And maybe…”
Nagase sighed as he tucked him in lovingly. “Maybe. But Satoshi if we live our lives with maybes it will just hurt. We have to do with reality and it’s not the worst reality right?”
“No,” Satoshi mumbled, thinking about the small family they had built now. He enjoyed being with them. He sighed softly as he leant against Nagase.
“Dad, I’m glad to be with you and Kazu,” he said in the end.
“And I’m glad to have you both.”
“And Samantha,” Satoshi added with a cheeky smile.
Nagase laughed as he bopped the top of his nose. “Yes, you are alright I suppose. How about a game or two, then we will try all the food that looks good until we feel like we don’t have any room for even one more bite?”
Satoshi giggled as he nodded. “Sounds good. And fireworks?”
“And firework,” he agreed.
Satoshi grinned as he jumped up to run to Kazu and hug him tightly while helping him.
Nagase smiled as he got closer and put an arm around Samantha’s waist. She looked at him before kissing his cheek.
“You okay?”
“Of course, with you all always.”
“Good,” she agreed as she put her hand on top of his to squeeze the other hand warmly between his fingers.
Just as he had promised they spent the night trying all the different foods and when the fireworks were over and they headed back for the hotel it was almost midnight which meant that both adults had one sleeping child in their arms to carry back to their room.
Samantha held to Kazu beside them with the smaller boy skipping along with the adults, looking around with bright eyes. He liked all the colourful lights and sometimes he stood with wide eyes watching the people rushing by in their summer kimonos.
He liked how they looked as they were all colourful or with nice pictures on it (at least for the girls. The ones for the men, Kazu thought were a bit boring in their dark colours.)
“Satoshi everything okay?” Nagase asked, looking at him with a worried look on his face. Satoshi shrugged slightly, feeling uncomfortable. It was strange walking here, knowing that his father had once lived here. It had even been stranger as they had found out about the orphanage.
Nagase frowned as he saw his face and looked around to see where to bring them that they could talk. He finally found some old fashioned game stalls and brought them to Kazu’s attention.
“Do you want to play one?” he asked Kazu who nodded and dragged Samantha with him to one of the stalls he thought he could win.
Nagase smiled before sitting down with Satoshi at a bench close by. “What is going on in your mind?”
“I don’t know, dad,” he said softly as he looked at the floor. “I feel strange.”
Nagase frowned slightly before pulling him over. “Should I guess why?”
Satoshi nodded as he didn’t know what to say. “Yes, please. If you do it mostly makes sense again in my head.”
“You enjoyed the holiday and almost forgot that your parents are from here.”
Satoshi nodded. That was true. He had felt nothing about being here other than having fun during his vacation. He had feared that he would miss his mother more here but that hadn’t happened at all. Same with Kazu somehow.
“But today was different because we came here and I told you how it is to grow up here. Of course, that changes the feeling a little bit. It seems not just like a holiday, huh?”
Satoshi nodded again as he held tightly to Nagase’s hand. “I might’ve grown up here and not met you.”
“Yes, and I might’ve stayed here and not be in Germany when you needed me,” Nagase agreed.
“But Satoshi, that didn’t happen. I came to Germany, your parents did and I was there when you needed me. Same with Kazu and now we are here for holidays. Not to live here.”
“What if it all never would have happened if my parents stayed here?” Satoshi asked. “My mum could still be alive. And maybe…”
Nagase sighed as he tucked him in lovingly. “Maybe. But Satoshi if we live our lives with maybes it will just hurt. We have to do with reality and it’s not the worst reality right?”
“No,” Satoshi mumbled, thinking about the small family they had built now. He enjoyed being with them. He sighed softly as he leant against Nagase.
“Dad, I’m glad to be with you and Kazu,” he said in the end.
“And I’m glad to have you both.”
“And Samantha,” Satoshi added with a cheeky smile.
Nagase laughed as he bopped the top of his nose. “Yes, you are alright I suppose. How about a game or two, then we will try all the food that looks good until we feel like we don’t have any room for even one more bite?”
Satoshi giggled as he nodded. “Sounds good. And fireworks?”
“And firework,” he agreed.
Satoshi grinned as he jumped up to run to Kazu and hug him tightly while helping him.
Nagase smiled as he got closer and put an arm around Samantha’s waist. She looked at him before kissing his cheek.
“You okay?”
“Of course, with you all always.”
“Good,” she agreed as she put her hand on top of his to squeeze the other hand warmly between his fingers.
Just as he had promised they spent the night trying all the different foods and when the fireworks were over and they headed back for the hotel it was almost midnight which meant that both adults had one sleeping child in their arms to carry back to their room.