(Untitled)

[kiranerys]

I went to work briefly today. It's so nice to sit in my office again. Of all the things I miss from Terok Nor, that's one of them. I love the way you can look out and see the tops of everyone's heads, like some sort of giant, all seeing eye. (Which is good, as I see that someone has ripped out the spy cameras that came in the desk originally

Comments

I doubt you could manage it.

[qcontinuum]

There *are* weapons that can destroy us. However, they must be:

a. wielded in the Continuum
b. by a sentient being
c. who will probably have their mind destroyed by using them.

C seems not to your liking, you definitely don't qualify for A, and I'm not at all sure you qualify for B either. So I'm afraid you'll simply have to give up your more bloodthirsty ambition in that regard.

You obviously need to get your priorities straight. Is your ambition to have plenty of sex with alternate universe counterparts of the ones you knew at home? If so, I believe Worf is available. I would even provide you transportation just for the sheer joy of seeing Microbrain have to deal with you. On the other hand, if your desire is to situate yourself so that you can return to your own universe in triumph, your evil plan should revolve around stealing technology (and remember: it's not the nifty ship, it's the *plans* for the nifty ship that are most valuable.) Or, if you wish to achieve power in this universe, then I suggest making friends with the Romulans, because so far they're the only power in the Alpha, Beta and Gamma Quadrants that the Federation has encountered, fought, and not utterly crushed. (All right, to be fair, the Cardassians crushed themselves with very little Federation help, as did the Klingons, but now neither is in any position to stage a takeover. Terrans are awfully resourceful creatures.)

Now. Are you clear on that? Because you can't possibly be any good at evil plotting if you have no idea what you want to get out of your evil plot. Didn't you learn *anything* at villain school? What *do* they teach kids over in that universe?

Re: I doubt you could manage it.

[kiranerys]

*petulent sigh* Usually I seduce people to be my minions, and then get them to do the dirty work. The evil plots I come up with on my own, like the last time I tried to steal an Orb, didn't go over very well.

I have decided to go with stealing something powerful, but not an Orb. Obviously my first thought is the Defiant, but the Terrans already have a Defiant, so something with more firepower would be preferable. Yet, the Defiant would be so easy, and it wouldn't be bad--I could kill Worf, if I had a Defiant.

Mmmm, killing Worf.

[qcontinuum]

What a delightful sound that has. Almost as lovely as "putting Worf in a pink fuzzy bunny suit with floppy ears."

Given the sad state of your intellectual impairment, I strongly suggest the usual tactic of seducing minions. Try doctorbashir. As you've already observed, he's a genetically engineered supergenius who thinks with his reproductive organs. You should have no difficulty befuddling him into helping you steal the Defiant if you offer him sex.

Watch out for Ezri. That slug inside her? It married this universe's version of Worf. I ask you, how could a supposedly intelligent being sink so low? And Ezri herself rejected a threesome with an omnipotent being (not me, but it's the principle of the thing), so plainly she has *no* taste whatsoever.

Re: I doubt you could manage it.

[ezridax]

You're so evil, you know that? It's probably immoral to seduce alternate versions of people you know. (Umm...yeah...)

Julian hates you, by the way.

Re: I doubt you could manage it.

[kiranerys]

Well, that's a welcome change from drool.

And as if I cared about morals, Ezri dear.

Re: I doubt you could manage it.

[ezridax]

I hate you too now. We're so never inviting you to dinner ever again.

Of course, I hate you for moral reasons. I think Julian just felt a little left out at dinner.

Re: I doubt you could manage it.

[kiranerys]

As well he should. Besides, your dinner wasn't that good. My Ezri cooks much better.

Re: I doubt you could manage it.

[ezridax]

You don't even cook as well as Julian.

Re: I doubt you could manage it.

[kiranerys]

You're just mad at me for being evil. I cook quite well.

Re: I doubt you could manage it.

[ezridax]

Quite well, but you're not genetically engineered.

Re: I doubt you could manage it.

[kiranerys]

Neither is he, in my universe. Just saying.

Re: I doubt you could manage it.

[ezridax]

He's all icky retarded then?

Re: I doubt you could manage it.

[kiranerys]

Yes. And a total jerk.

Re: I doubt you could manage it.

[ezridax]

*thwack*

Hey, didn't see that big statue comin', did ya'?

Hah!

Re: I doubt you could manage it.

[kiranerys]

*gets all dizzy*

Re: I doubt you could manage it.

[kiranerys]

*petulent sigh* Usually I seduce people to be my minions, and then get them to do the dirty work. The evil plots I come up with on my own, like the last time I tried to steal an Orb, didn't go over very well.

I have decided to go with stealing something powerful, but not an Orb. Obviously my first thought is the Defiant, but the Terrans already have a Defiant, so something with more firepower would be preferable. Yet, the Defiant would be so easy, and it wouldn't be bad--I could kill Worf, if I had a Defiant.